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Hey guys. Just got off a long and painful skype chat with my parents, and It did not go well.

My parents have always been pretty good people, helping with my clinical depression, and just being overall awesome and helpful.

Sometime ago, they heard I was a furry. It didn't seem to phase them much. However, while chatting, they suddenly bring it up.

Skipping a bit here, but it ended up with me being disowned, ridiculed, and just... A lot of hate coming at me. They dint have an issue with me, but my apparent "choice" of being "a perverted kid who likes to fuck animals" (real quote)

I never expected this to happen..my parents have always been open minded. Even accepting my bisexuality. I wasn't prepared for this sudden disapproval.

After all this, by confidence has been shot, making me see how alone I am and how much my parents, and many of my friends for that matter, did not approve o me. Hope this all makes sense. Any one else out there gone through this before? Any advice?

TL;DR: parents suddenly revealed third feelings to me abou furry, had a lot of bad things to say. Made me realize how alone I am..etc...

I dont mean to add to the stereotype that furries feed off this kind if shit. I really am having this issue right now.

Edit: I know I made a ton of spelling errors, please pardon those, I am on my iPod, and I'm not the best phone typer. Also, sorry for the long response, I went to go get some coffee to get my brain moving again. Didn't have wi-fi.

edit2: Skype name is vlt412 if anyone wants to add me.

submitted by vlt412
[link] [55 comments]

Admittedly this was spawned by the TYT video, where they focused a bit more heavily on the sexual aspects of the fandom compared to the coverage that many other news organizations (Including major, national ones like CNN) have doled out over the years. It really leaves me sort of astounded, how a lot of people reacted, many quite negatively to something so intrinsically human as sex. Then again, I see a lot of a younger self in those very responses, and I don't like to look in that mirror.

Naturally this little essay is more for people who haven't 'gotten over it' yet, as many people have. I'm not writing this to upset people or anything, though I bet I will since I know some words I have written are at odds with what some would like to pretend the fandom is and is not. This is meant to be relatively objective based on almost a decade of experience from being in the fandom.

Furry, directly, as a whole, isn't a fetish, but for many furries, it is one. That's just how it is, whether you like it or not. No amount of howling or moaning about that aspect is going to make that fact go away. People are going to notice the sexual aspect too, though really, I'd rather the fandom be seen as part of an open, accepting, sexually free, and loving community than some tyrannically puritan 'holier than thou' one. We're not freakin' prudes, not the hundreds of people I've met over the years anyway, not even some of the big names who I've had the chance to get to know a little, or in some cases, a lot. If nothing else, FA's database proves that we like sex. Maybe people should stop trying to fit their peers into some mold of purity and just accept the fact that a healthy percentage of the fandom takes their interests to an adult level, much like other fan-bases for just about anything.

Acting like we're ashamed of it just makes it look like it's something to be ashamed of. People pick up on that perhaps more than anything, and this 'Oh GAWD Sex is BAD, no one has fursuit sex, no, never, omfg' attitude is just making it look like the fandom is confused with itself. The act is old, and tired, and is a thin veil of pseudo-truth that pretty much any half-intelligent person can see through.

Many furries, I sense, fear that if people associate the fandom with sex, then they will be demonized. Well, to be honest, some people are jerks in this world (not talkin' trolls, just flat out close-minded jerks), and they see sex, in anything other than a missionary position for the purpose of procreation, as an evil thing. They will demonize you for having fun, let alone boinking in a fursuit, so screw what they think. Being afraid or ashamed of being loosely associated with people who like to have sex in a different manner than 'normal society' is not really warranted or even healthy at all. It’s just destructive.

The denial really does need to stop, at least the blatant denial. The truth of the matter is, some people ‘do it like they do on the discovery channel’ in their fursuits, and some people, a larger majority even, do not. A number of people accept this, others will outright deny it, but there are also people who deny that the earth is any older than 6000 years. That doesn’t mean it is. No matter how many times you say “people don’t have sex in fursuits”, it will never, ever, ever change the fact that there are hundreds, no, thousands of pictures and videos, hundreds, if not thousands of people, and more occurrences of suit-clad-intercourse than all the previously mentioned things combined in this world that will prove that very statement wrong.

Do you have to screw a suit to be a furry? No. Most people don’t even own them. Those who do, chances are, don’t do the horizontal hustle in them, and even for those who do, most have the sense to keep that sort of thing in the bedroom. Some don’t, but all communities have their village idiots.

Shame is another thing, and I mentioned it before along with fear. Those go hand in hand for some people, though I guarantee you they will deny it like I used to when I was young and nieve. (Heck, I still am, but not nearly as I was half a decade ago). Why are you ashamed of sex? Why is it bad? Why are you afraid that you might be associated with it? Of course, I know a lot of the answers. I used to give them. “Fursuiters entertain kids! They can’t be sexual!” is a big one. Many do just that too, fursuiting to entertain kids, and that is all they do.

Thing is, in my years as a public suiter I’ve never once run into a situation where some parent flipped their shit because we were around. Nearly everyone reacts differently, rarely negatively (and if so, it’s usually just a crying kid, or someone who hates masks), to furries being around. Most rational people can clearly understand that we’re not out to expose kids to sexual things, because everyone can agree that such exposure is wrong on a deep level. Most rational people can differentiate and tell that furries are a massive mix-bag of people. More than that though, most people have never heard of a furry. We’re a fringe society, at best. Our largest international convention draws only 5000 people (Impressive for us, but compared to, say, the American Institute of Architects national convention that draws 24,000 people from the USA alone, it’s tiny.)

Back to the shame though... so what if some of us like to take our characters to the bedroom with us? Why... why is that a big deal? Let me answer this for you. It’s not. Sex is human, and the interest in furry is deep for many people. Not only that, but people have been sexualizing just about everything since forever. Any rational person can look at the fandom and see us for what we are, sexual and non, a multi-faceted community with a quite honestly ‘way-out-there’ manner of going through life. Some of us have sex, most of us, in fact, have sex, and some of us who have sex do it dressed as an animal character. People who choose to get bent out of shape about people having sex in animal costumes, or otherwise, have more to reevaluate about their lives than just their opinion on how consenting adults conduct their business in the bedroom.

Being sexually free, accepting your likes, your dislikes, your orientation, your fetishes, or lack thereof... that is not something to be ashamed of. Being associated with people who are accepting of others for who they are, for their oddities, their quirks, their individualism... that also is not something to be ashamed of. Dismissing, denying, and demonizing other people for being who they are, and trying to fit people into some false puritanical mold of your own crafting... that is something to be ashamed of. For those of you who haven’t, grow up, accept reality, and accept your peers. This is the state of the fandom, it has been for decades, and it will be for the foreseeable future, like it or not. I’m not condoning people running out and having public sex in their suits, or otherwise, I’m not suggesting that the fandom is about sex and nothing but. It is far from that. I am just saying that people really need to chill out and accept what the fandom is on the whole. We are a free, loving, and kind group of people, and I hope that will remain a constant.

tl;dr Furries are still flipping about the sex aspect? Really? I thought we got over this. The reality is that it happens, fursuit sex and otherwise. Totally and completely. Denying it doesn't make it go away and just makes us look overly ashamed of something intrinsically human (to have sex).

(EDIT: more breaks. Sort of 'wall-of-texted' this out last night and didn't put enough in.)

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http://www.furaffinity.net/user/savageturtlestudios/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/sparkycando/
Hey guys! Just thought I'd let you all know that these two great fursuit makers are open for commission. So if you're considering a fursuit, why not check them out?

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Mine does! He wants me in a suit next year and he wants me to decorate our apartment with furry stuff.

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