Feed aggregator
He Wants a Husband and a Child in His Life
I am a 25 year old full time worker/super part time student (two credits shy of being full time). I work as a Nurse's Assistant and I am in school to become a nurse. People tell me that it would suit me because I am kind and patient. I am inclined to believe them. They also tell me that I would make a good father... Secretly, that would make me the happiest person in the world.
I have not had a date/sexual contact with a guy until I turned 21. I have had the desire to be with another man (I have had multiple "boyfriends" that has lasted at most 3 weeks) but I have never found the one.
The reason I am divulging this info is because I am losing all interest in having a mate... A lot of it has to do with all the times that I have gotten hurt and the VERY short amount of time it happened in. It has almost got to the point where I can play the "How HAVEN'T I Been Dumped" game.
I am at the point were I am focusing on my career, a good thing, and excelling at making my goals come to fruition, a great thing... but I feel like I am losing a part of myself and I am genuinely afraid I am losing interest in sharing my personal life with someone (other than my future child)...
In the time I have looked, I have met men who I wanted... All of them turned out to have mates of their own and wanted me cause I was "kind, unique, and very friend worthy" ...
I guess what I am trying to say is I'm loosing sight of what I did hold dear and I can't see a way of getting it back. I want to be like I use to (when it comes to wanting someone to share my life) but I can no longer see myself in a relationship...
I don't know what to do and if I don't do something then I might just end up as a billionaire that has a lot of microwave burritos and butter in stock (old Simpson's reference). I thank you in advance for your help.
Deric
* * *
Dear Deric,
First of all, kudos to you in your pursuit of a nursing degree and working in a noble profession of helping others. Now, on to the more personal stuff.
If Papabear is reading your letter correctly, it sounds like you are looking for two things: an adult relationship and having a son or daughter in your life. Whether or not you get a husband at some point, it is possible that you can adopt or be a foster parent. Actually, you might even have MORE luck being a single parent than as a gay parent couple, as there is still some prejudice out there about gay parents. From my reading on the subject, it sounds as though being a foster parent is the more viable of the two options for you, especially if you foster a boy (more boys than girls are in foster situations).
Here are some helpful organizations that can assist you on this very wonderful goal of being a parent while still being single:
National Council for Single Adoptive Parents
ncsap@hotmail.com
http://www.adopting.org/ncsap.html
Single Parent Resource Center
31 E. 28th Street
New York, NY 10016
http://singleparentusa.com
Adoption Resource Exchange for Single Parents (ARESP)
301-585-5836
http://www.aresp.net
E-mail: aresp@aresp.net
Still another option for you is Big Brothers Big Sisters. This is a wonderful way to become a very real and important part of a young person’s life, even though you are not a parent per se. Check them out at http://www.bbbs.org.
So now we come to the relationship issue. Many of Papabear’s readers, I am sure, can empathize with your bad luck in finding a mate. There are many lonely people out there, sad to say, most of whom really deserve to have love in their lives. But you are also sending this bear some mixed singles. On the one paw, you say you want to be in a relationship, but on the other you say you are scared you are losing interest and want to feel the way you used to feel. That made me stop and think.
Deric, there is nothing wrong, actually, in NOT wanting to have a relationship and to be single and focus on your career and, perhaps, son or daughter. In fact, singles in America are on the rise and many of them are very happy to be single. I am not saying you have to give up a search for a love in your life, but you shouldn’t feel scared or guilty if you don’t necessarily want to have one.
Papabear understands your fear, though. When I discovered I was gay, I was very scared and wanted very much to return to my old life. But eventually I learned that you shouldn’t try and force yourself back into the past and how you once were. Yes, we can get sad and nostalgic about that, but it is healthier to move on. In your case, it could be perfectly healthy for you to be a single nurse with a child. You can very easily have a happy life that way.
One last thing, though: it might be that you just don’t know how to look for a mate. Sounds to me like you run into a lot of married men who just want you as a friend or maybe a friend with benefits. You might need a few tips to find the right kind of person in your life; that is, a single gay man with no other commitments other than you in his life. The best place to do that is not online but in the real world, doing real activities with people who share your interests.
Deric, you are still very young with most of your life ahead of you. Don’t give up on having a child (or children) and/or a love in your life. It sounds like you have a lot to offer and, believe me, some smart guy out there will eventually see that and want you in his life. Then, you can adopt or foster together, or if not, you can still pursue fostering or adopting on your own (I would wait until you are done with your studies and find a good job, of course).
Good luck! Keep me posted!
Papabear
Found this random pic someone took of me at the Santa Claus Parade, and couldn't resist.
$5 Art Cards!
Just been wanting to doodle lately and art cards are a fun, easy way to do so. I usually charge more, but I wouldn’t mind doing a bunch of these!
Link to FA journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4028780/
Furaffinity gallery: http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/obliviousally/
submitted by obliviousally[link] [2 comments]
Looking for more furs to play League of Legends with =3
Posted something in LoLgaymers, but looking more for furs really. Just a couple of new friends would be cool, or if you're part of a regular group, I'd be down ^
I'm not yet 30 (25) but I'm getting there. Not the best, but it's more about the camaraderie for me. Definitely open to suggestions/tips though. I like to think of myself as casually competetive, lol.
LoL: A Grimm Wolf
Skype: agrimmwolf
submitted by AGrimmWolf[link] [11 comments]
3 Jaguars Web Comic Kickstarter
Art of my Fursona For a Literature?
Basically, I'm 14, I don't have any means to provide the money to the artists for commissions, I can't draw, and I also flat out don't have any money.
I've decided that I would like to have some art of my Fursona done, and since I can't provide money, or art, I'm going to try my best to provide Literature!
I figured out a sort of tiered system based on page count versus art type. I.E. Lineart, Flat Color, Shaded, Etc.
- 1-2 Pages Lineart
- 3-4 Pages Flat Color W/O Background
- 5-6 Pages Flat Color With Background
- 7-8 Pages Shaded W/O Background
- 9+ Pages Shaded With Background
I AM Flexible On My Tiers! Leave a Comment If You're Interested.
submitted by ryartran[link] [4 comments]
Hero-U, Star Citizen Funded
Hero-U, the creation of longtime Sierra developers Corey and Lori Cole, successfully reached its kickstarter goal of $400,000 as of 8am Mountain time on November 11th. The Coles, who created the Quest For Glory franchise, are the latest developers to join what is being called the 'Sierra Renaissance'- the return of legendary Sierra developers thanks to the crowd-funding resources of Kickstarter. Interestingly enough, the "Renaissance" was spurred by an ex-Lucasarts designer, Tim Schafer (Full Throttle, Grim Fandango, Psychonauts, The Secret of Monkey Island, Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge and Day of the Tentacle) who achieved unprecedented success through his kickstarter. Former Sierra employees were quick to use Kickstarter to reach to their fanbases-- Jane Jensen (Gabriel Knight), Al Lowe (Leisure Suit Larry), Scott Murphy and Mark Crowe (Space Quest) have all successfully reconnected with their fanbases and funded successful projects. With the return of the Coles, all of Sierra's past representative franchise designers are now back on the scene- with the exception of Sierra founders Ken and Roberta Williams (creators of the King's Quest and Laura Bow series), who have expressed no desire as of yet to come out of retirement.
More information on Hero-U can be found at The Hero-U Website.
Also reaching its successful funding goal was Star Citizen, a space trading and combat simulator game for the PC by Chris Roberts. Roberts is a video game designer, programmer, film producer and film director best known for creating the Wing Commander series (which featured an anthropomorphic tiger race known as the 'Kilrathi') while working at Origin. Star Citizen is now on open beta and more information can be found at the game's website.
Daily Show: November 21, 2012 - Bird that plays fetch! Or something like that. A music teacher with many talents finds a bird with a strange catch. A camera. We also talk about a tree that some say just isn't right for Christmas. - Stuff we mentioned: Cl
Bird that plays fetch! Or something like that. A music teacher with many talents finds a bird with a strange catch. A camera. We also talk about a tree that some say just isn’t right for Christmas.
Stuff we mentioned:
Podcast image by: Taku
Any Seattle furs wanna hang out? Fun loving orca here :3
Well I'm in my mid twenties and love hiking and anime. Music and food are always good as well as cuddling and random fandom stuffs :3
submitted by Orca_orca[link] [5 comments]
Re: October 2012 Winners
On 11/13/2012 4:44 PM, Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler {One Of Four}
wrote:
He didn't even count my votes, and he said I could vote.
Ran into a "troll" looking for people to talk to on omegle. Read this, please. I found this conversation to be both interesting and enlightening, and hope you do too.
Question to all non-canid and non-felidae furries: are you more a cat or a dog person?
I'm a coon (duh) and more of a cat person. You?
submitted by NonSarcasticRaccoon[link] [21 comments]
Los Angeles - Closet furries
I live out in Southern California and live a pretty normal life (26 years old working a solid job, live in a well kept apartment, have courteous friends, pay the bills on time), and I avoid meeting other furries out here because of bad past experiences. I won't name the meetups I visited out of respect for them and their regulars; but needless to say, their habits curved way outside the social norm to the point that it was uncomfortable to hang out with them. For example, wearing ears and tails in public, boisterously discussing topics that are best left in the bedroom, and a few people lacking a good sense of personal hygiene.
While I don't challenge your right to live life the way you please, these aren't the people I'd like to associate myself with in my free time. I'd love to have more "furry" friends, but because of the vast definition of what being a "furry" means, I'd like to say I'm looking for friends who consider themselves "closet furries." Somebody I can just chill with, without needing to discuss anything relating to the fandom, just knowing that I can relate to you on a different level than others. So is there anyone else out there in the SoCal area who can relate? Even if you're not in California and just want to make a new friend, I'm down with that too, just shoot a message to this throwaway account and I'll get it eventually.
submitted by quietlywaiting[link] [16 comments]
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/ODpMD.jpg){kind=link}