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Dear Papabear,

This is my first time writing an advice column. Anyway, I'm a gay furry. Everyone knows except for my mom that I'm gay. I don't have a big family. In fact, other than my mom, the only surviving member is my sister. My sister is also gay (my mom's extremely conservative and the only reason she found out about my sister was my sister got, er, caught at it one day when she was in high school) and is legally married (my mom knows this, too, of course). She lives in California in the same city as my mom.

So, I go and see my mom, sister, and her wife pretty often. Here's the problem: when I go by myself, my sister and her mate welcome me to stay at their home. But if I bring MY mate, we aren't welcome to stay. The weird thing is, my sister and her mate have met my husbear, and they both seem to like him (I just tell my mom he's my roommate), but still they won't let us both stay with them.

I'm planning another trip up to see my family, and I want to bring my mate with me. My sister has even been so kind as to buy us both tickets to an event up there, and she said that she would even pay for a hotel room for us, but we can't stay with them.  I don't think it's that my sister doesn't want us to stay; I think it's her mate. Well, OK, I know it's her mate because I talked to my sister asking her why my mate couldn't stay and she said her mate didn't want both of us there at the same time.

What should I do? I feel very insulted, and though my mate has been very understanding, I don't think this is right at all. If my sister and HER mate came to see me, I would let them stay with us and so would my mate. Should I just pretend everything is okay and do nothing, or what? 

Sign me,
Mildly Miffed in Modesto

* * *

Dear Miffed,

I'm wondering a little if this has to do with your not being out to your mother. Perhaps your sister's mate (and maybe your sister) think you're a bit of a coward that you haven't told your mom yet while they are obviously out of the closet and are kind of punishing you by not letting your mate stay with them. OR, perhaps (and this is a bit kinder) they aren't letting you stay because they are concerned that if your mother finds out you are staying together your mom might figure out you are gay and your secret would be out of the bag. So, question: is there only one spare room and would you and your mate be sleeping in the same room? Of course, I guess you could say your mate is sleeping on the couch. Hmmm.

Another reason could be simply that your sister's mate is merely pretending to like your mate, but she doesn't really. If that's the case, she's not being very kind to you and your mate by her discrimination. Real families often tolerate relatives or their spouses to stay with them for short periods because it is polite, even if they don't like them that much, and that's really what should be done here.

So, what do you do? Well, you could do as you say and simply go with the flow, staying at your sister's when you visit alone and in a hotel when you are with your mate. But this might be hurting your mate's feelings, even if he doesn't say so. What you should be doing, then, is sticking up for your mate's feelings and say something to the effect of, "Well, I really appreciate how you and your mate have let me stay with you in the past, that has been kind of you, but I no longer really feel welcome in your home when you don't accept my mate, so I will be staying in a hotel from now on, even when I come alone. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but you are making me feel uncomfortable, so I think it's best for all concerned."

That's not a great situation, but it is the right thing to do to stick up for your mate. After all, you may love your family but your mate is your life partner.

Good luck! Hugs!

Papabear

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After a few years and much talk, Dreamworks Animation are ready to premier their new TV series Dragons: Riders of Berk.  Re-named from the more simple Dragons, this new series brings us further adventures of the young viking Hiccup, his dragon friend Toothless, and other characters from the Ursa Major Award-winning feature film How to Train Your Dragon. Jay Baruchel (as Hiccup), America Ferrera (as Astrid), and several other voice actors from the feature film reprise their roles for this new TV series. Unlike previous Dreamworks series like The Penguins of Madagascar and Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness, this new Dragons series will be shown on Cartoon Network instead of Nickelodeon. A special preview episode will air on Cartoon Network starting Tuesday, August 7th. Check out their Wikipedia entry too.

image c. 2012 Dreamworks Animation

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Author: Harvi We’re rebooting the podcast! Now you can take part in the Hop Inn from the beginning! When we catch up to the current episode we’ll update our iTunes Feed to point over here instead of the old, soon to be gone, site. We’ll be adding more information and links as this site progresses [...] [Series Reboot]Live From the Hop Inn Episode 207

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You may only have mins., hours or less than a day for sure to pick your fav. BedFellows episode and post it their FA post. So head over and post your fav. episode now. Remember porn is a positive …. because well…. I like porn. HERE IS THE LINK!

Post expires at 11:28pm on Wednesday August 1st, 2012

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This episode, we are joined by Roxas Panda as we approach the upcoming Indy Fur Con! We discuss it, many of the panels, where we will be doing our first podcast recording at a con in front of an audience! If you want to check it out, it will be Aug. 10th - 12th. The site is www.indyfurcon.com Also, check out and share highlights at our YouTube channel, updating it all the time! http://www.youtube.com/user/DraggetShow as always, you can leave your questions and comments on draggetshow@gmail.com, we love hearing from you! 032 - Bane <3 Big Bang Theory...oh, and Indy Fur Con - This episode, we are joined by Roxas Panda as we approach the upcoming Indy Fur Con! We discuss ...

This episode, we are joined by Roxas Panda as we approach the upcoming Indy Fur Con! We discuss it, many of the panels, where we will be doing our first podcast recording at a con in front of an audience! If you want to check it out, it will be Aug. 10th - 12th. The site is www.indyfurcon.com Also, check out and share highlights at our YouTube channel, updating it all the time! http://www.youtube.com/user/DraggetShow as always, you can leave your questions and comments on draggetshow@gmail.com, we love hearing from you! 032 - Bane <3 Big Bang Theory...oh, and Indy Fur Con - This episode, we are joined by Roxas Panda as we approach the upcoming Indy Fur Con! We discuss ...

Author: Harvi We’re rebooting the podcast! Now you can take part in the Hop Inn from the beginning! When we catch up to the current episode we’ll update our iTunes Feed to point over here instead of the old, soon to be gone, site. We’ll be adding more information and links as this site progresses [...] [Series Reboot]Live From the Hop Inn Episode 208

Look what we got here… another BedFellows video cartoon meant for the adult eyes only.  This episode isn’t so much porn and shit this time around, but its still makes it’s kicks. I think each episode gets better and better. I wish in this episode they would make the main story line stick out more though. I mean, I feel that somethn’ funny should happen more so then he just fainting, but with more knowledge now known from the creators in the past will come more power for the future. I hope to see more and can’t wait!