Feed aggregator
Excitement about New Love Accidentally Leads to Hurting Another's Feelings
It's my first time ever doing anything like this, but I really need to hear someone's opinion about this. I met someone and we started talking and I saw him as a great friend and over the course of a few days, he started asking me often about his chances with getting together with me, but one of the first things I explained to him was that I lost my mate of more than 1 year in a car accident when he was on his way to see me. And I told him I'm not really looking for a mate or not sure if I could handle one. So I thought he got it and I was happy about that, but he kept asking what his chances were and I found out he lives states away and I knew I didn't want a long distance relationship, and I explained to him before how I don't that he shouldn't get his hopes up.
So a few days ago, I'm with a friend (a close one that I liked a lot, but was unsure) and we went to a concert and after the concert, he asked me to be his mate, and I said yes happily, because I had some feelings for him already and I knew it was time for me to try to move on, and he was close to me, same city, and stable. I excitedly tell my friend (the long distance one) about it and he grows quiet and sends me a message the next day saying I toyed with his feelings. I feel like I was nothing but a prospect to him and I thought he cared for my happiness, not his personal interests. And I kept telling him about not getting hopes up for anything between us as more than close friends, but I guess he never listened. And I'm just confused, and hurt, and I want to hear what you have to say, Papa, I know it's not an ask thing but me telling you things you probably heard before, but I can't think of any unbiased person to ask.
--Ryuuga
* * *
Hi, Ryuuga,
It is actually “an ask thing” in that you are asking me, I believe, whether or not you handled the situation well now that you see that two furries have their feelings hurt: yours and your furiend who lives far away.
I think it would benefit you to look at the situation from your friend’s point of view, to wit: you told him that you were not looking for a mate and then you turn around and find a mate. In addition, you write to him and announce—with excitement—that you found someone to love. Can you see how this might have really hurt his feelings? Even though, in fairness, you told him that you didn’t want a long-distance relationship, you also told him that you hadn’t recovered from the loss of your previous mate, but then you changed your mind. Papabear can see where this other furry felt like he got a slap on the muzzle.
It’s pretty clear that the two of you had different ideas about your relationship. You saw him as a long-distance friend, whereas he saw you as something more; perhaps, even, he wanted to work on your relationship to make it more substantial. You write that you told him repeatedly this was just a friendship, but somehow, somewhere he got the idea there was something more. Papabear gets kind of a weird feeling in his gut when you say “I feel like I was nothing but a prospect to him.” It sounds rather dismissive of what apparently were rather strong feelings he had for you, if by “prospect” you mean a love interest. That is nothing to be dismissive about; it could have been rather special.
Papabear believes you were not trying to hurt this other fur’s feelings, and I’m sure you’re a very nice person. But you handled the situation rather clumsily and now, if you want to keep this other person as a friend, you have some clean-up work to do.
The first step is to apologize, and you do owe him an apology. I would take the time to call him on the phone and have a long, heartfelt talk. You need to explain to him your reasons for telling him that you weren’t ready for a matehood and why you later changed your mind with another person. Key to this would be explaining again, if necessary, your position on long-distance relationships (Papabear agrees with you that these can be very difficult). Too, before you begin this conversation, you need to be honest with yourself: did you really reject this other fur only because of the long-distance thing, or was it because you had stronger feelings for the mate you did choose? Ask your long-distance friend if he feels you sent the wrong signals and what those signals were so that you understand where you might have gone wrong. Again, you will have to be careful in this discussion to make sure you don’t hurt his feelings any more than you already have, and be sure to be honest in your replies to him.
This is an awkward mess you will have to navigate around, Ryuuga, so if you need more advice on how to approach your friend again, feel free to write and fill me in more on the details so I can be of more help.
Papabear is thrilled you have new love in your life after your terrible loss, but sometimes, when we are excited about our own lives, we get a little lost in ourselves and forget to consider other people’s feelings. I know I have done this, too, so don’t beat yourself up about it, but do try and talk to your friend and get it straightened out.
Hugs,
Papabear
One of the best man-to donkey transformations I've seen out there. Not sure if its furry, but didn't know where else to post
Why are you furries?
Hello, I have a few question about this fandom and why you do what you do. Not trying to be rude just curious. (Brony here btw)
What is the appeal to the fur random? Why do you guys dress up is fur suits? Do you all just do it for the XXX? How does the pubic eye view you? Thanks!
submitted by wiggilymagicmushroom[link] [17 comments]
re: comic offer
and I got inquiries from a couple people. I was going to send out
these comics to them, but I ended up moving immediately after and
those comics got lost. I doubt that they read a.f.f. anymore, but I
just thought for what it's worth I'd toss an apology their way for not
Plushies vs. Creepy Dolls
Breaking out of the pages of Womanthology (a successful all-female-created comic anthology from last year) comes A Stuffed Bunny in Doll Land: The Furry War Begins, written by Anya Martin and illustrated in full color by Mado Pena. Here’s the basic description from their web site: “In Womanthology: Heroic, Munny, a lone stuffed bunny, showed her inner hero and entered the frightening world of dolls to save her best friend, Elephant, with only a butter knife and a sugar bowl lid. But the dolls are not pleased to lose their new pet and ready to launch an expedition of their own to take him back. Now Munny has to return to Doll-Land and venture deep, deep into their dark world of strange beauty and unexpected horror, accompanied only by a valiant band of fellow stuffed animals.” New updates for this on-line comic are coming soon.
Deciphering licks? ^^
I've seen this floating around on a few sites and it's always a little different.. I've made my own edits, too, but I was wondering if anyone else had any input. :3
I don't think that licks ALWAYS mean these things.. you can just lick inadvertently of course :P but when I want to say something I like to convey that I really MEAN it in the context of this list.
- ?~Meaning Of A Lick~?
- *Lick on the Ear: I think you are cute!
- *Lick on the Hand: Asking permission/I'm ready.
- *Lick on the Forehead: For comfort.
- *Lick over the Face: Stay here with me.
- *Lick on the Paw/Hand: You're my everything.
- *Lick below the Chin: I like you.
- *Lick on the Nose: I love you.
- *Lick on the Finger: You're so sweet!
- *Lick on the Neck: We belong together.
- *Lick on the Shoulder: I want you.
- *Lick on the Leg: You're sexy.
- *Lick on the Chest: I love being close to you.
- *Lick on the Lips: I wanna be with you when you need me.
- *Lick on the Back: For fun!
- *Lick on the Cheek: I missed you.
- *Lick on the Tongue: Ultimate expression for love.
- *Lick on the Eye: I'm embarrassed.
- *Lick on the Side: Be my pet?
- *Lick on the Belly: Be my master?
- *Lick on the Tail: Will you be my mate?
[link] [6 comments]
Does anyone know if this furry fic was ever finished?
I found it on TV Tropes a while back, but all I could get to was the first chapter. Here's the link, but it's on hold right now, apparently. I don't know what that means. It was called "I Wish I Was Furry!" and I can't remember who it was by, but I remember that their fursona was a Kangaroo. I've wanted to read the rest for a while, and it's been hanging out in the back of my mind, but I guess I didn't think to ask you guys...
I mean, it's a little gross, I guess, but it was the first furry fic I read and I was so bummed when all I could read was the first chapter.
If it ever was finished, and possibly mirrored, does anyone have a working link? I tried Googling, and I gave up after a few pages because apparently there are a lot of fics concerning the entire world suddenly becoming furry, and even more journals saying something similar.
EDIT: Oh! And it was about a British kid that wanted to become his apparently ultra-buff super sexy wolf sona. He falls asleep and the next day wakes up as the wolf, but can't actually function right anymore because the wolf has completely taken over. At one point he finds a dolphin almost completely dried out on the ground. And a giraffe between some wrecked cars.
submitted by Kavyle[link] [comment]