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Furry Reddit - Tue 18 Jun 2013 - 01:18
Categories: News

Visual Attraction and Sexual Attraction Are at Confusing Odds with Each Other

Ask Papabear - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 23:51
Hello from England!

I'm having that stereotypical teenager sexuality mess-up thing and it seems that, for whatever reason, my cock and my brain have different sexualities. Let me explain from the beginning.

During my teenage years [he is 15 now], I've experimented (as far as what turns me on) with pretty much everything. I've tried cross-dressing, playing around with a dildo, both orally and anally, and I've had, to an extent, a jolly good time.

However, it seems there has been a bit of a biological misunderstanding as far as what my brain wants and what my cock wants. Here is a breakdown.

If I look at heterosexual pornography, I don't take that much of a mental interest; however, I do end up getting rather aroused, without logically thinking, "Wow, she's fit!" or whatever generic thing somebody might think.

If I look at gay pornography or just guy's in general, I wind up thinking "Mmm...that’s hot" (yet another generic thing. These aren't literally what goes through my head, there just examples) and I do get aroused; however, normally it’s not as fast as with girls but it certainly does occur and I do notice it a good deal more. Although I do know a few exceptions when I've gotten aroused before the thought had a chance to get through. It’s not like I force my cock to like gay porn or anything, it seems pretty keen, but not as keen as for girls.

Another example is if I was in a "gentleman’s entertainment outlet"....or a strip club, to you and I, and there was the sexiest man in the world and sexiest girl in the world, I'd pick the man.

I have had clues outside pornography that lead me to believe I may be gay, some are more credible than others. I'll start with the weirdest first.

When I was younger, about 12-ish I was became very much interested by tribes from other parts of the world, although I kept this secret from my parents or some reason. I really quite liked how they made clothes from very basic things and that, now I look back on it, those outfits were rather revealing. Although, I also fond there culture interesting so that may not be the whole story.

Very recently I found myself getting into the whole 80's metal thing, particularly the band Judas Priest (you may have heard of them). Their lead singer, Rob Halford was rather flamboyantly gay around the mid 80's, with these rather sexy BDSM outfits he wore on stage. I also respected him a lot for his ability to be himself in the very macho world of heavy metal at the time, which I find myself unable to be, even in a simpler situation.

And finally there was one time at sports day, when I couldn't stop staring at my best friend's thighs for the whole time. Which my other friend somehow didn't notice. (My circle of friends is a big issue for another day, methinks.)

Anyway, back on topic.

Do you think I somehow have different sexual preferences for different parts of my person or is it that I haven’t matured in that sense yet?

If you need more information, do let me know, I tried to keep it as much to the point as I could but my sexuality is in such a jumble its difficult.

Thanks for the help, good sir!

Fred E Coyote

* * *

Dear Fred,

To summarize, your mental interest for women is lower than that for men, but the arousal for women is higher than that for men, although you do have an interest and arousal for both of various degrees, if I understand you. Let’s examine the possibilities.

First of all, if you are pondering whether or not you are gay, stop pondering: you’re likely bisexual, leaning toward men, but if you keep reading there is another possibility. As for sexual maturity, at 15 you’re at an age where your body pretty much knows what it wants, so no need to wait and gestate any more. Physiologically speaking, you’re sexually mature; your brain just needs to catch up.

The difficulty with your letter is you speak too generically about what turns you on or not: men vs. women. There is a lot more to visual stimulation than mere gender. There are probably certain physical traits that are particularly arousing to you. For instance, you might like nice round buttocks, which are more common in women than in men, or shapely thighs (as you noted your attraction to that one guy’s thighs), also something women usually excel at. You might like full lips but not be particularly interested in breasts, and so on....

One thing you could try, then, is creating in your mind (or drawing it, if you are capable) your ideal physically attractive person. Mix and match what are seen as either feminine or masculine qualities and see what you come up with. This will help you figure out what physical “signals” stimulate you the most.

Another thing to consider is your preferred role as a sexual partner. Do you prefer to be on the “receiving end,” shall we say? Or do you like to be on top? Or both? Judging by your letter, one interpretation might be that you would like to be a bottom for a dominant male. I say this because when one watches porn, one often transfers his or (rarely) her emotions/identity into the scene. That is to say, you see yourself in the scene, as in, “Damn, I wish I was THAT guy making out with that hunk of a man!” So, the reason you get interested in straight porn might be that you are transferring yourself into the woman’s position, thinking of yourself as a woman on the receiving end of a heterosexual man. If you strongly identify with your feminine side, you might find it easier, then, to transfer yourself into the role of the woman in front of the camera than into that of a man. This is why you are more quickly aroused by the woman, because you see yourself in the woman's position, making the fantasy of what you're seeing real inside your head--and sex is 90% in your head. Just a theory, of course.

As for primitive tribal groups and their simple clothes, that fascination dates back to kids in the early half of the 20th century looking at National Geographic magazines to see the people with bared breasts and buttocks. Nothing strange about that, gay or straight. And as for liking Rob Halford (yes, Papabear is familiar with Judas Priest :-P ), that seems a pretty clear indication of your attraction for gay men, and your admiration for his being the first openly gay heavy metal rocker bespeaks of your own likely longing to be open about being gay, too.

You’re young, Fred, and you have plenty of time to figure this all out. Don’t push yourself. Continue to explore and experiment (safely, please) and you will eventually sort it all out. Papabear believes that will happen when you first fall in love. Boy or girl? Who cares? It’s the love that matters.

Good luck!

Papabear

multiple fursonas?

Furry Reddit - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 22:44

So Ive come to the conclusion I have more then one fursona or just personas. I am a writer and have written many stories. A main character I use is a Blue Wolf, or Lycanthrope, but always involving wolf and blue.

Ive come to deveop a red haired vampire, and a silver ocelot/bengal.

All three have very different personalities. My main one use to just have different personalities depending on the story, these other characters have started taking over that. SO i am curious if anyone else has multiple fursonas?

submitted by RoseWolfie
[link] [8 comments]
Categories: News

What's the general opinion on yiff-ing?

Furry Reddit - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 22:15

I'd like to know what you guys think of it. It doesn't really matter much to me. To each his own, says I.

submitted by Duke_of_Spazzer
[link] [23 comments]
Categories: News

Nia By SBNeko [F] (sfw) ;)

Furry Reddit - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 21:23
Categories: News

Hello! - An Introduction

Furry Reddit - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 20:02

Hello! I’m rediscovering the Furry community and wanted to introduce myself.

I’ve chosen to go with the name Korren, as I feel that my usual nickname “Fox” would tend to be lost in the great multitude of foxes and fox-like individuals within the community. I’ve chosen and developed my fursona as an arctic fox with a bit of wolf mixed in for good measure, but as is most things, it is an ongoing and evolving process.

I've been interested in the furry/anthro community off and on over the last 13 or so years, dabbling in Furcadia and Second Life many years ago, but recently I've found myself in a position where I want to have a fresh start - a clean slate where I can reexamine who I am and see where that takes me. After being away from any form of the furry community for the last years, I’m generally interested to learn what is out there, make new friends, and start the next leg of my journey. I’m a gamer, a programmer by trade (video games), and a writer by hobby. When I can, I like to go off-roading close to where I live in San Diego, California, but I don’t get the opportunity as much as I would like.

So, with that out of the way, it is a pleasure to ‘meet’ all of you. I’m fairly new to this subreddit and have been looking around, but are there any resources, websites, or anything fun you have to recommend?

submitted by KorrenTheFox
[link] [35 comments]
Categories: News

TigerTails Radio Season 7 Episode 31

TigerTails Radio - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 16:10
TigerTails Radio Season 7 Episode 31
TigerTails Radio Season 7 Episode 31 From: TigerTails Radio Views: 0 0 ratings Time: 01:55:40 More in Entertainment
Categories: Podcasts

An adoptable by rycbar.

Furry Reddit - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 15:33
Categories: News

Finally got an actual reference sheet!

Furry Reddit - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 14:21
Categories: News

An Argument For Conformity

[adjective][species] - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 13:00

 

Money does buy happiness.

More specifically, money buys happiness up to around US$75,000 per year. Beyond that, money has very little effect. (Ref, full text.)

The generally accepted reason behind this phenomenon has nothing to do with money ‘providing’ happiness, rather that a lack of money makes people unhappy. At US$75,000 pa (and beyond), day to day money problems are essentially nonexistent: when a bill arrives, the bill can be paid.

A 2011 paper, written by Dr Marla Carlson and published in Theatre Journal, “Furry Cartography” (full text here), discusses the important of money in the context of the furry community. I originally intended to review her paper as part of my occasional series of “Furry Research” articles here on [a][s], but her field can be written about with far more authority by my fellow contributor Quentin Julien (and my recent article reviewing the International Anthropomorphic Research Project, or more specifically the rejoinder by IARP member Nuka, shows how I, as an amateur, can get it wrong).

Briefly then, Dr Carlson talks about the need to earn money, and how (in a capitalist world) “one must be an individual, but one actualizes that individuality through the purchase of appropriate name-brand products“. She sees furry as a version of this concept. Our ‘performance’ as furries, the way we actualize our furry identity in the real world (perhaps a purchased fursuit or a commissioned work of art) “fuels the buying and selling of commodities both real and virtual“. Here, she is talking about the furry economy; goods and services sold to help people pursue their furriness.

Furry is personal. It’s about identity, or as Dr Carlson puts it: “for some as an expression of an inner essence and for others as escape from a restrictive human persona“. Yet public and outward displays of our furriness are important. Dr Carlson argues that “the fandom manages its public image in order to remain edgy but not out of bounds“, which roughly defines the range of expressions we allow within the furry community: the extent to which people can express themselves while still fitting in. So an animal-themed t-shirt in public is okay, whereas ‘anatomically correct’ gear is not.

External expression of identity is important to everyone. People in the mainstream are often flummoxed by expressions from the fringe. Why, they might argue, do gay people need to make such a big deal about their sexuality; why can’t they just leave it at home and act ‘normal’ elsewhere? The answer, of course, is that people in the mainstream also express themselves, just that they are lucky enough to conform to society’s norms without having to make any special effort.

(As an aside, this blind spot is known as majority privilege. To choose another convenient example: the subset of gamers that get fired up whenever someone points out that women aren’t fairly represented in the gaming mainstream—these guys are used to games being male-dominated, so anything challenging this feels like it’s pandering to others, so they complain that they’re being marginalized. See also: straight people who begrudge redefinition of the word ‘gay’.)

It’s sometimes difficult to express furriness in a public space. Furry spaces such as conventions, private parties, and corners of the online world, are environments where we can express ourselves without having to worry about conforming to the mainstream. Furry spaces can act as important relief valves: they allow us to vent the pressure of acting ‘normal’ (or ‘normal enough’) in the wider world. We understand that we may need to mask our furry selves in some circumstances: maybe at work, or around extended family.

Some furries, of course, manage to ‘opt out’ from the requirement for conformity by largely excusing themselves from society. Many of us fantasize about this (just read Rabbit’s dreamy ‘what if’ article from a few weeks ago, speculating on the founding of a furry town). A typical fantasy involves a big rural space away from other people, an idea that probably requires a big chunk of cash, to say nothing of the psychological challenges of isolation. For most of us, the fantasy will remain a pipedream.

For those of us who can’t escape, there is a balance to be struck. The need for personal expression must be tempered with the requirement to meet society’s norms. An external expression of identity that fails to meet mainstream standards can be costly: wearing a collar will probably harm your chances of getting that office job.

The way you present yourself affects how people react to you. If you fit in, people are more open, lowering the barrier for a social interaction. People are more likely to engage with someone who doesn’t scare the horses, so to speak.

(There is also a phenomenon called the spotlight effect, familiar to anyone who has found themselves underdressed for a social gathering. Most people become anxious when they feel like they are presenting themselves in an inappropriate fashion. This social pressure is often more about self-perception than about the others: it’s also felt by transgender people trying to ‘pass’ for the first time.)

This article, then, is an argument for the value of meeting the expectations of mainstream society. This article is an argument for conformity.

I argue for conformity of appearance, not conformity of thought. The two are often confused. The sight of identically-dressed commuters is often derided, as if all commuters were mindless automatons, as suggested by pejorative terms like rat race. But nothing is further from the truth: each commuter has a personal identity, one that is not on display. A furry in a business suit is still a furry, just one in a different costume.

This is an Andrew Baines painting, "Escape of the Corporate Battery Hen". They look like furries, fetishists, and deviants to me. You can buy it at www.andrewbaines.com/prints.html

This is an Andrew Baines painting, “Escape of the Corporate Battery Hen”. They look like furries, fetishists, and deviants to me. You can buy it at www.andrewbaines.com.

I believe that meeting society’s norms—conforming—increases personal happiness. It’s a compromise, and the requirement to moderate external expressions of identity can be challenging. But the reward is a better, broader, happier life.

Someone who puts on a good ‘normal suit’ will be less constrained by the wider world. A good ‘normal suit’ doesn’t mean you are normal. It simply means that you restrict what you show to the outside world. Most people would argue that it’s a bad idea to share teenage sexual exploits in a public forum—Facebook, say—because they may linger on the internet to be discovered by future employers, lovers, or family members. Someone who refrains from sharing details of a raucous 18th birthday is simply keeping their ‘normal suit’ on.

Those furries who are meeting society’s expectations are giving themselves more opportunity in life. They are likely to earn more money, be freer to travel, and have more options to express themselves as furries. To put it another way: would you rather wear a collar to a job interview in 2013, or a fursuit to Eurofurence in 2015?

It’s not very romantic to suggest that the best path is through engaging with the mainstream; through moderating one’s appearance, through earning and spending money, through ignoring the philosophical messages of Rage Against The Machine. It’s especially distasteful if you, like many furries (including me), are most at home in the fringes of society.

The argument for conformity is a pragmatic one. It’s about balancing an individual interior with an acceptably bland exterior. It’s about, on one hand, working within society’s constraints and, on the other, finding appropriate outlets for self-expression.

Andrew Baines says that conformists “head off to work nine to five every day and they’ll do this until they turn 60 and then they’ll probably get a gold watch and drop dead“. I think this is false. Instead, I think they experience the relief and benefits of conformity, and never look back.

Alastair-Salunrae (new Sona)

Furry Reddit - Mon 17 Jun 2013 - 12:57
Categories: News