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![A little something I drew for a friend [Wolf-Roo]](http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/-nJAppyc7DK5DcSC.jpg "A little something I drew for a friend [Wolf-Roo]")
How can I make a good fursona?
I have wanted to make one for quite some time now. The thing is I can't quite decide which animal to choose. I want to make one that really symbolizes me but I just can't decide. Could I get some help?
submitted by uzzeee[link] [16 comments]
KnotCast: Episode 223 – Followup Friday
I experimented with a new style-- Amethyst
A quick pencil-paper sketch of my fursonas
Do you guys/gals like the pornography?
So, there obviously is an elephant in this room.
Opinions, ideas, work you made yourself for science ?
Also, this is a throwaway. Nobody can know I'm a furry, at least not where I live right now. (too weird for the neighbors, I suppose)
On the subject of porn, do any of you connoisseurs have any idea where I can find a certain work?
Please dont judge me I deserve this.
Also, je suis un chien.
submitted by Help_Me_Find_Porn[link] [23 comments]
A little lynx boy in a French maid outfit (sfw)
An inquiry about roleplay...
I've been a part of the fandom for a number of years now, but in all my time I honestly cannot say I do not understand the attraction of roleplay. Text-based roleplay to be more precise. Whether casual, sexual, 'story driven', or otherwise, I just don't get it. What is so amazingly tantalizing about it that nearly every fur does it? I understand that the fandom sometimes works as an outlet for a lot more childish behavior (as well as sexual fantasies), but aside from babyfurs and the sort, I've always seen roleplay as one of the most juvenile parts of the fandom. Not only that, but it seems to also be one of the biggest ways for a lot of furries to get their rocks off. So what is it that I'm missing?
submitted by PeppermintButthole[link] [16 comments]
Adding Structure to Life
Every now and then, it’s important to take a step back and gain a little bit of perspective. It sounds cliché, of course, and there are a lot of people in my life I can imagine scoffing at the type of post I’m about to write, if not that very phrase itself. In fact, there are plenty of other posts that I have in the docket, but they can wait for another time, and I hope you’ll begrudge me a fluff post while I gain my perspective. Also, a trigger warning for some brief but frank discussion of suicide, and excessively sentimental foxes.
There’s a lot that can be said about emotion. Hell, there’s a lot that has been said about emotion; so much so that there is only the most minuscule of portions that bear repeating. If there is one thing worth noting, though, it’s the intensely dire sensation each of our own emotions carry to us. They press against us and burden us with incredible weight, and even though there’s a lot of really flowery prose one could write about just how much our emotions impress on us, it really just boils down to the fact that an entire portion of our brain is focused on feeling things at all times, almost without rest. This dire aspect makes it quite difficult to accept commiseration, to comprehend that many of us try to understand those around us be way of relating their experiences to our own. To hear someone say that “what you’re feeling is just like when I felt something exactly like it!” Or “that’s something that everyone goes through.” To hear that this burden isn’t yours and is hardly unique is not a comfortable thing to hear, no matter how true.
I go through bouts of depression about once every six or seven months that last for about a month. I freely admit that this is hardly uncommon. Freely because I’m actually feeling really good right now, and have been for a bit. I can remember the urgency and importance of the way I felt, even when it’s not something that’s pressing on me right now, as it was then. This difference is sometimes a vague feeling: like, “yeah, feeling good is different than feeling bad”. Sometimes it’s a very concrete sensation, such as now being able to tolerate heights as something that’s merely scary, and not “oh God am I going to jump!?”.
Being able to take a step back, no matter the cliché, is the sort of helpful thing that lets me see and understand what exactly is going on, and, understanding, helps provide me with a path forward. Not a solution, of course, just a path. I don’t do meds; I have a deep-seated paranoia of that attempt at a solution despite seeing them work wonders for someone very close to me. Their reason for taking them is very situational by their own admission: given a very nearly unsolvable problem and no time to work on it, one takes what space one can in order to move forward.
That’s what the step back grants me. Even though the source of my own overwhelming emotions is something decidedly innate, something more biological, the space gives me the room to take that into account. If, for example, I give myself the room to understand that those feelings of hopelessness and dread that seem to be stemming from work are more just the handicapped sense of self involved in depression, then I can more easily make the choices I need to stay healthy.
This is really new to me, honestly, and thus my fascination. I started to understand it last year in October and November when I was going though a similar period, but it occurred alongside a work trip to Copenhagen that left me no room for myself. Heathrow’s terminal 5, with it’s glass-walled balconies and walkways, and the hotel’s looming 15 degree tilt made me frankly fear for my life. The previous March saw an attempt at suicide, and the very limited amount of space I (figuratively) had to step back into was hardly enough in November for me to work with this problem constructively, and it took getting kicked back by the motor tic in my neck coming back after an absence halfway through the trip and forcing me to slow down to understand just what this space meant to me.
April and May were much different. Things started to go pear shaped in mid-April, and, though the tic had once again left, I knew right away what I had to do. I slowed my velocity at work (with my boss’s blessing), held off on writing any articles, and took the space I needed to stay healthy. There was another work trip on the middle of this, but it was out in California, where, even though I was still working my tail off during the day, I had more of a support network than Copenhagen had to offer outside of work hours. While things got their worst after that trip, I still had my space, and so everything was different. The aching pressure in my chest was far less than before, along with the sense of dread and suicidal ideation. Things were off, but as long as I could take that step back, they hovered a notch or two above ‘bad’.
That’s a lot of words, and not one of them was ‘furry’, ‘subculture’, or ‘fox-person’. For those of you still reading, I appreciate your tenacity, because honestly, it’s this furry subculture, this ability to be a fox-person among friends that provides the framework I need to remain grounded while taking these countless steps back, lest I just withdraw completely into myself.
Toward the end of the summer of last year, it was JM who IMed me to ask how I was doing. My emotions were coming through in my articles, he said: I was on point when I was happy and maudlin when I wasn’t (I know this is basically the most maudlin thing I’ve ever written, but stick with me here). I took time off then to gain some space and work on improving things, but having this framework kept me from zooming off to far into the distance. Most poignantly, it was the death of my friend, Margaras, that helped prove the worth of maintaining the ties I had with those in my social circle, furries all.
The fandom as a subculture plays a very unique role in or lives, I’ve noticed, in that it provides a sort of skeleton that we can use to help give our lives their structure. I found myself discussing this with two LDS (that is, Mormon) missionaries who stopped by the other day, when I asked them how their faith fit into their lives in terms of identity; I was raised by two staunch atheists, I didn’t experience religion as a community until a brief stint attending a Unitarian Universalist church in my early twenties. Their conversation lead to the topic of chosen family, that closest of social circles. They said that their growth out into the world had structure, pacing, and direction that they felt would have been missing without the framework of their church.
I said at the time that I agreed with them: having that missing from my life led to the described lack of direction in my own growth. My time in the dorms was a stark example of that. However, in light of these last two months, and all that I’ve learned over the last year and a half, I’m not sure that I had told the truth. Furry is lacking a lot of things that make a church, and so yes, my growth within the fandom was hardly predictable; no mission for me. But that said, it was still just that: growth within the fandom. I have this framework in my life to add meaning and direction. That’s what kept me and so many others going after Margaras’ death, what got me through last march and the end of the year, even what helped me during this last sprint. I still had structure, even if I didn’t feel well. Something to hold me up and keep me from deflating completely.
A few weeks ago, I tried to explain some of these thoughts in the form of a small experiential game, a little bit of interaction intended to convey a point, called A Full Life. In it, your goal is to make the fullest life you can, even when there are things standing in your way preventing you from feeling fulfilled, your sense of ‘full’ handicapped. I think that these frameworks – the church for those missionaries I’d talked to, furry for me, and countless others – help us out. They don’t necessarily solve problems (and may often cause them), but they help keep that handicapped sense of self from constricting too small and squeezing out everything that’s good in life.
So. Apologies for the wash of an article, and thank you if you’ve made it this far, but do me a real big favor: sometimes, when you’ve got a bit of time, think about the ways this fandom is meaningful to you. Think about the ways you must be meaningful to those around you. Maybe take a moment to talk about it with someone, or if not, at least just appreciate it. I know I do.
He Needs to Rediscover Who He Really Is
How do you know or find out who you are? What your identity and personality are?
What I mean is that I'm not sure what my real personality is or how I should view myself. A glimpse into why would go back to my upbringing. My childhood wasn't bad; I wasn't physically or sexually abused and I got food and clothes. But I wouldn't call it good either, because they were emotionally negligent.
To explain that I need to explain how my family works and how we were raised. If there is something you want or need done there's a system. First you ask. If they say no, you use manipulation. And finally you use threats and to an extent violence to reinforce the threats.
Anyways my parents treated me like a trophy child, where I was supposed to be the perfect child they could use to show what great parents they were. And to this end to get me to comply and meet their standards they would withhold any kind of affection unless I met their standards. Though as I got older they began using guilt trips, but I digress.
So as a child seeking the love of a parent I would act exactly how they wanted me to to please them. Then came school where part of the perfect child ideal was to be sociable and to get along with everyone. And even as I kid I readily picked up the idea of manipulation. To get along with anyone and everyone I learned how to alter my behavior, mannerisms, interests, even my personality to become someone that said person would like. So I gained the ability to get along with anyone in person, sadly this ability does not work as well through the Internet medium.
At the time I didn't know I was doing it and by the time I realized I was doing it I was already 17ish with no idea who I really was. Now I can't act some way without questioning whether it really is me or if I'm acting how I believe others expect me to. Even when I'm alone I can't help but question how I act.
Kind of explains the lack of an actual name or fursona because whatever I use never feels right, so that's the reason for the pseudonym.
And I've read your letters so I figure one of your solutions will be to seek counseling, which is a reasonable idea. However I've tried and failed with two therapists already. So I've already explored that route and came up empty.
Sincerely,
Thief
* * *
Dear Thief,
What a remarkable and insightful letter. Not many people as young as you have figured out how much of who they are is shaped by other people’s expectations. Just having that revelation alone puts you ahead of many people, and, no, I’m not going to tell you to seek therapy; you don’t need it. I do not believe there is a human being on the planet who has not altered his or her behavior to please others. It’s not just about parents who are emotionally disconnected from their kids, it is also about any parent who wants their kid to be a certain way. Usually, when the children protest, the parent asserts stuff like, “I just want you to be happy! I just want you to be successful!” which makes you feel stupid and ungrateful for protesting. But happy by whose definition? Successful by what measuring rod?
Now, your letter and the response I am forming here is a rather interesting dilemma, as I recently advised another writer to be the “chameleon”; that is, to only show one side of himself—the part that pleased his family—when he was around them. The difference here is he knew who he was and simply didn’t want conflict with his furry-hating family.
You, on the other hand, have played the perfect son and comrade so long you haven’t had the chance to discover yourself. I understand where you are coming from. I myself didn’t know who I was until my 40s because I was trying so hard to meet other people’s demands on me. Because of that, I feel like I need to play a lot of catch up now. I don’t think that early part of my life was wasted in any way. There were many many good things about it, but now I have the chance to find the real me. It’s kind of scary, actually, but worth the pursuit.
How, then, do you discover yourself when you don’t even know what you are? Well, a good way to discover yourself is to force yourself to try as many new things as possible, especially things that people said you were no good at or that you shouldn’t try because they were a waste of time or money, but also things that are just plain unfamiliar to you. This is why I tried fursuiting. The conservative, straight-laced, unadventurous and monetarily conservative me of the past was telling myself, “Dressing up as a bear and spending $2,000 on a costume? Are you nuts? What a waste of money! How silly and childish!” I did it anyway and I love it, especially the hugs I get while in fursuit, the smiles and the little kids pointing at me and shouting gleefully, “A bear!”
So, try new things, and try as many of them as possible. Block that inner voice (or that echo of a parent’s voice) that tells you you shouldn’t try it or doubts that you’ll be any good at it or enjoy it. Dare to be bad at something. Couple things I learned along the way regarding this, as examples: when I was a little kid, I wasn’t much good at school, but I had a pretty darn vivid imagination I enjoyed. Anyway, my parents, especially my mother, pushed and pushed me to get those A’s, so I did to please her. Eventually, I became a straight A student. I worked so hard on my studies that I did nothing else and had no social life, so I finished school at the top of my class feeling like I was a one-dimensional person. Another example: I always wanted to learn a musical instrument, so I tried the dulcimer. As I was initially learning, naturally I sounded awful. I was told to knock it off because I was hurting people’s ears, so I did. I never learned to play. It’s on my bucket list still to learn an instrument. As I said above, dare to be awful at something. Another example would be drawing. Everyone sucks when they start out, but how can you get to be good unless you keep trying?
Experiment and explore. Relearn how to love learning, that special joy to nourish one’s mind every child is born with but that our educational system strips out of you until you become a good little drone (cf. how schools always cut arts and music programs first, but leave team sports that are designed to make you a team player and follow the coach’s orders... hmmm.). Express yourself in new ways, too. Try different clothing or hair styles, listen to different kinds of music with which you are unfamiliar (try reggae, mon), eat a snail if you want (escargot, s’il vous plait!), read a book by someone who expresses an unfamiliar opinion or viewpoint. Get out of your comfort zone.
You won’t enjoy everything you try, of course. The things you truly don’t like, cast them aside and try other things. You can filter these things through your own attraction or aversion to them. How do you tell these reactions are YOURS and not behavior programmed into you by someone else? Try this exercise. Have someone create a bunch of flashcards for you. On these cards, have them write a bunch of innocuous words, such as “desk,” “apple,” “teacher,” “green,” etc. Most of these cards will be of this variety. Next, have them write down a few things that you have tried recently to see if you like them or not, such as “playing piano,” “surfing,” “working with animals,” and so on. The innocuous cards should outnumber the relevant cards by about 5 to 1 but not in a rigid order (e.g., two relevant cards might be followed by three innocuous cards, then a relevant, then five innocuous, etc.). Once the cards are prepared, sit across the table from your friend and have them flash the cards at you, one by one. When you see a word or phrase respond “Yes” or “No” as to whether or not you like them. Do this quickly so that you give a knee-jerk reaction and don’t have time to think. Your friend can further assist you by tossing the “Yes” cards into one pile and “No” into another. When you’re done, even the seemingly innocuous card have relevance as you might discover your true favorite color and weather or not you like teachers :-)
Good luck, Thief. I hope you can rob your inner personality back and keep it inside you, safe and sound.
Papabear
Ep. 71 - F Squared Launchcast! - That's right! You can now preregister for F SQUARED, our new furry convention, which is in Brook...
Ep. 71 - F Squared Launchcast! - That's right! You can now preregister for F SQUARED, our new furry convention, which is in Brook...
Found an commission I got done a while back.
Was searching through some emails when I came across it, completely forgot I had it done by a friend although I am concerned in how I haven't heard a thing from her in well over a year... may need to look into it.
Many people think it's rather cute
submitted by BalkorWolf[link] [2 comments]
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/ZGZTMHL.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/e1p97rh.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/JkSmoCj.jpg){kind=link}
