Feed aggregator

submitted by iapnes
[link] [1 comment]

submitted by penguins_and_hoes
[link] [3 comments]

submitted by RamblingMutt
[link] [8 comments]

submitted by That_Kangaroo
[link] [30 comments]

submitted by mountnmouse
[link] [34 comments]

submitted by TheFabulousMrCracker
[link] [8 comments]

submitted by Greypuppy
[link] [22 comments]

submitted by Espurra
[link] [26 comments]

TL;DR I'm sorry, I tend to be long-winded, but basically what follows is the history of my identity as a furry and the traumatic events involved that killed my desire to draw and how my fursona was tainted by these events. I want to know how I can move on from it after all these years. If you read everything and stick with me...thank you.

Drawing was my favorite thing when growing up, so much so that I had teachers threaten me with zeroes if I turned in another paper with doodles on it. Somewhere along the way I had discovered anime, and naturally found catgirls, which eventually led to anthros/furries. I found the characters to be incredibly fun to draw and design--I mean, the possibilities were all but endless! I made my fursona, which made me so happy, and when I found DA in my teens of course I posted my art and shared my fursona.

I'm not sure now how long I was able to enjoy myself before the trouble started. It turned out that my fursona had a very similar design to a popular artist's fursona: both had a white face with near identical facial markings with bright (but different) colors with similar black boots/socks and similar other markings. We were a different species with completely different tail types, hers had heterochromatic eyes and mine didn't, and we had different hairstyles. At first glance they looked a lot alike, possibly even from the same species if you allowed for variations in structure, and it didn't help that my fursona's Japanese name shared a name with some other character she had made. She had started posting on DA several months before I had, and since I hadn't posted my art in another online community before it didn't matter to anyone what proof I could offer of my fursona's originality or creation date.

The wolves descended, if you'll pardon the phrase. She herself was quite vicious and rude and all but sent her fans after me, of which she had many. During that time I heard privately from her past victims and from non-fans of many stories including one of a young artist who was once driven from DA never to be heard from again over a simple white anthro cat with blue eyes. Multiple fake accounts popped up claiming to be me with blatantly ripped off art trying to implicate me. I received violent death threats from her fans, and read horrific descriptions of what I apparently deserved for my assumed transgression. I received anonymous messages describing where I was and who I lived with and a variety of private details no one should have known. I was 16 and I was terrified. Popular artists that I looked up to came to comment for the first time saying how disgusted they were with me. I lost a lot of friends and gained a few, one of which I have remained fairly close friends with for 11 years now.

This carried on from March until December that year, culminating in a hacking incident in which my account was compromised (and I learned the necessity of complicated case sensitive alphanumeric passwords), and a hateful user posted a vitriolic journal as me claiming to have in fact ripped off and traced this other girl's fursona/art, and said a lot of demented and violent things they wished on her and members of the community, which of course caught the attention of the admins. The intruder then cussed out an admin which in turn resulted in a ban of my account. It took me a couple months to get my account back, but around February I was able to quietly take back my identity, clean up the intruder's mess, and then attempted to start posting art again. My friends and followers were never the same again. One rabid fan who was particularly vicious stalked me for years afterward, making snide comments on a lot of my art about how I had blatantly copied this or that piece from some obscure artists I had never heard of. Even when she didn't comment, I could see her as a recent visitor for years. She contributed heavily to the dread I felt any time I went to upload a new drawing.

During all that time I tried to be agreeable and tried to appease everyone else by making changes to my fursona. The first round was just adding things to the original design and changing the shapes of some of her markings. It wasn't enough to make them happy. I came to hate my fursona. A friend gave me a redesign that I used for a week or two, but because it wasn't mine I wasn't comfortable with using it, and it was too different. I made something radically different markings-wise that I actually used for quite some time and got the rabid fans to back off and leave me alone. I was somewhat content with this version of her for a year or two, but she still always felt wrong. Looking back I just cringe at her original design and how childish and generally crappy it was. I've tried many times over the years to redesign her, but she always felt wrong. I was always afraid to commit to any design, worrying about what parts I might be accused of having stolen from others. I was even afraid to browse DA and FA for fear of seeing an aspect of someone's design that I liked and taking it, whether consciously or subconsciously. I withdrew from the furry community. Depression took heavy hold on me around that time after battling with it on a low level for years, and I all but stopped drawing. I gave up on any hopes of the artistic careers I had dreamed of since I was a child. I attempted to draw and it would just end in tears, made worse as the years went by as I found it harder and harder to draw the things that used to come easy. I often wonder how good I would be now if I hadn't stopped.

The girl I was accused of copying is happy and seemingly carefree, successful and following her dreams, happy in her friendships and relationships and career path...and it boils my blood. A couple times over the years she has been asked about her past behavior and she flippantly dismisses how she was back then as "Oh, I was a bitch back then, sorry" and she has admitted to not even remembering who I am. This makes me feel even worse about myself because now I'm just the pathetic one who can't grow up and move on. My life is a shambles (obviously not just because of this incident on DA with my fursona, please don't think I'm suggesting that) and I don't even have the comfort of drawing to escape into and express myself like I used to.

My fursona...I know it's part of what's holding me back. I feel like if I could just make her right I could draw again. About a year ago I had another go at her redesign and spent a couple weeks working hard on her and agonizing over every little choice. When I finally 'finished' a design I immediately burst into tears and started screaming how much I hated her and I stayed in bed for a day or two. She used to make me so happy...it shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be so hard and painful.

Can any of you relate? How can I overcome this?

submitted by moonlit-soul
[link] [34 comments]

submitted by aLovelyTwitch
[link] [13 comments]

submitted by NoahGoldFox
[link] [4 comments]

Ring is back!

We can chat here or if you have my skype or steam, feel free to message me there. So to start off: How was your day? Got any memorial day plans? Anything you are excited for?

submitted by Infamous0823
[link] [51 comments]

submitted by Sareii
[link] [9 comments]

submitted by Sareii
[link] [35 comments]

submitted by cottonkandiprincess
[link] [6 comments]

submitted by Brynjhulf
[link] [3 comments]

submitted by NoahGoldFox
[link] [14 comments]

submitted by Greypuppy
[link] [5 comments]

submitted by veldtfotter
[link] [19 comments]

Picarto

Too lazy for descriptions, see last thread

I'M NOT LATE, I'm a wizard.

submitted by Nsyse
[link] [comment]