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Hi, Papabear.

It's been 3 years since I first wrote to you, and I am very happy to see you once again. Since I last contacted you, I've gotten past my nightly existential problems with your suggestions. What's more is over these last few years, I have made some huge steps forward in my life.

These days I've found myself in an actual successful career, in good health, and recently moved out of my folk's place and into a nest of my very own with a couple close friends as roommates. 

But with all this success and joy that I've worked to get to... I can't help but be the loneliest bird in the nest.

Within the past few years I've had a few relationships that went south. Abusive relationships, cold or toxic (in one case both) relationships. Even a horrid long distance relationship. Most recently one that physically abused me. That one ended ... well terribly. Since then I've been focused on my career too much to even start thinking about having another relationship. But now that things have leveled out and my schedule has given me a few days of freedom every now and then. I'm thinking about dating again. 

I've considered online dating, mainly because I've tried having my friends set me up with my last few relationships. I've been on the fence with actually pulling the trigger on filling out one of those online profiles and trying it. I'm just afraid that I will end up worse off than I was earlier this year. It's really hard to find an example of the questions that each individual sites ask and I'm afraid I will get invested in something and not be properly represented. Then either disappoint someone I meet through it or scare them away. Or just end up heart broken and constantly going onto the next person hoping that they might be 'the one.'

My question is, is online dating actually worth the trouble or should I just stick to the 'old fashioned way' of dating?

Either way, I hope someday soon I can find someone to fill the empty spot in my nest. 

From,
Dimitri (The Lonely Phoenix, age 26)
 
* * *
 
Dear Dimitri,
 
I’m glad my reply to your 2013 letter was helpful, and thank you for writing again. Life is about problems to be faced, challenges to overcome. Fix one issue, and the next will knock on your door after that. Let’s work on this one.
 
There is nothing wrong with meeting someone online (that is, actually, how I met my beloved, departed, Jim). You can look at online dating as another tool in your belt to be used. It really doesn’t matter how you meet someone; what matters is the chemistry between you.
 
Letting your friends play matchmaker is clearly not working for you. They probably don’t understand what you need. Many people, when playing this game, look only at the outside (“Oh, isn’t s/he cute?” “Oh, s/he has money and owns a cool car!”, that sort of thing).
 
You say you’ve been in some bad, even abusive relationships. I’ve seen this happen to lots of people before. It happens for a couple reasons: 1) as noted above, you’re using the wrong measuring stick; 2) you’re too desperate and lonely, so you grab onto the first person who shows even the mildest interest in you; or 3) you have low self-esteem issues and don’t believe you can do better (especially true in the case of partner-abuse situations).
 
First thing you need to do is recognize and believe you are a worthwhile person who deserves love. Once that happens, you won’t allow people treat you like the gum on the bottom of their shoe, which will delete a lot of reject material from your list of candidates. Remember, if you can’t be yourself around this person, then they are the wrong choice.
 
Second, work on being a better judge of character. Part of this is trusting your instincts. If you feel there is something “off” about someone, something that doesn’t feel right or is perhaps even disturbing, then listen to that voice in your head and back away from them. I had this experience not too long ago. A guy who was actually quite nice in many ways, as well as financially secure, but there were some things about him that, eventually, I realized made him not the guy for me.
 
Third, at the same time that you are being discriminating, you must also allow yourself to be open to possibilities. You might meet someone who, at first, makes you think, “Oh, I could never be with someone like that!” But then you find, if you get to know them more deeply, that they are actually terrific! Often, this is because the person is hiding behind a mask that society told them to wear. Lift off the mask, and you find an actual human being.
 
Fourth, do not rush, take it easy, don’t push. Allow things to evolve organically. When you meet someone who seems really great, don’t jump into bed with them. Get to know them first. Sex will come when you’re ready.
 
Finally, of course, be good to them in return.
 
And that’s how it’s done.
 
Good luck!
Papabear

“Lynn Chen is an illustrator / animator / 3D environment artist originally from Szechuan, China. She loves to travel and draw cute creatures. With an Animation major background and the professional experience in video game industry, she combined her illustration with animation to create interactive picture books that make kids laugh.” The first of those books in question would be Woolly and Shaggy, which is currently available as an app. According to the official web site, “Woolly Wolf lives in the forest and get tired of hunting; Shaggy Dog resides in the town and get bored from herding sheep. What would happen if they decide to exchange their lives?” The site includes an introductory animated short which Lynn put up on Vimeo. She also has her own personal web site to display many of her other animation projects and full-color illustrations.

image c. 2016 by Lynn Chen

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We've missed you. Did you miss us? No emails this week, just lots and lots of conversation. We catch up on our holidays, talk New Years Eve and a convention that caught metaphorical fire over its weekend, grumble about some real crap anime but how anime in general is more accessable than ever, a little bit of WoW talk, and then Star Wars. Turns out theres never been a better time to play video games, be an anime fan, OR be a Star Wars nerd. Want to help support the show? We have a Patreon! www.patreon.com/Knotcast Episode 335 - Derpy Deeds Done Derp Cheap

The Living Tombstone remixed Savlonic (MrWeebl's) song Epoch. I do love the graphic style ... so very Apple II+. The Original Track: https://youtu.be/voOLx2SeP2g
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Hi, Papabear.

There's something that I have been wondering about. Last week I went to the doctor to do my first HIV test and everything went OK, but I have noticed that safe sex is not something you see in the furry.

I'm sure that unconsciously leads to people to risk themselves with bareback sex. In my country it's common to begin with sex at 14 or 15, but if you are gay you can't tell anyone because they start with "You are going to burn in hell f*g", "What did I do to deserve this?" thing.

And well... The only information you can get is through Internet or friends, but in the time I have been in the fandom, just a Fox friend and ex-mate talked about condom. When I told my friends I was going to do an ELISA [a test for antibodies in the blood that could indicate an infection] they looked at me like I was the devil or something.

Why safe sex and sexual diseases are so excluded in a community like ours?
 
Toichi (age 16, Bogotá, Colombia)
 
* * *
 
Dear Toichi,
 
Thank you for bringing up a perennially important subject: safe sex.
 
I think you make some shrewd observations here, Toichi. Papabear has seen some risky behavior in the fandom, indeed. There appears to be some misinformation and false conceptions within the fandom. A big one is the belief many people have that if you’re not feeling sick or don’t show any symptoms, then you are safe. Here are some facts about that:

1. HIV: you can be HIV positive for as long as 10 years without expressing any symptoms. During that time, you can pass the virus along to sex partners if you don’t use protection. (By the way, in the United States at least, knowingly having unsafe sex with someone when you are HIV positive is a crime).
2. Herpes: about 1 in every 6 Americans ages 14 to 50 has herpes in some form. While it is most contagious during a breakout, you can also pass it to others when you are not showing symptoms.
3. Gonorrhea: most common among young women, it can often be mistaken for a yeast or urinary infection. If left untreated, it can cause infections in other areas of the body, such as the heart, joints, brain, and blood. It can also adversely affect pregnancies.
4. Chlamydia: also most common among young women, it is, like gonorrhea, often misdiagnosed as a bacterial or yeast infection. Undiagnosed and untreated, it can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, causing permanent damage to the fallopian tubes and infertility.
5. Human papilloma virus (HPV): this one is rather tricky, too. It is a very common virus and, interestingly, wearing a condom does not always afford protection against it. HPV sometimes, but not always, expresses itself as genital warts. In some cases, it can lead to cervical cancer, which is why HPV vaccinations are recommended for young women. The good news is that even if you have it, the body can eventually defend against it and cause the virus to be eradicated. Many people with HPV never know it and have no symptoms.

 
One factor about the attitude of furries and STDs, then, is that they are ignorant of the facts and the dangers. Another factor is trust: furry communities and friends within it can be tight, and people often extend trust to their friends that are not wise or deserved (“Trust me, I don’t have any STDs. I’m fine. Let’s play without condoms!”) But it’s not just friends, it’s a culture. Once, my mate, Yogi, and I were out with some furries at a restaurant. A female furry leaned over to my partner and, placing a paw on his knee, said (not kidding), “One of the great things about being a furry is you can have sex with anyone.” Yogi looked at her and said, “I’m gay. Don’t you see me here with my boyfriend?” As you can see, stupidity plays into this, too.
 
This attitude can be encouraged by the atmosphere of the furcon. Furry conventions are often places where young and old furries go to their hotel rooms and have sex. A lot of this has to do with young furs who are managing to get out of from under their parents’ shadows and go a bit wild. To be fair, this is not unique to furry conventions. From what I’ve learned from other business convention attendees, a lot of sex and cheating goes on here. One time, Yogi was at a journalist convention. He opened up a closet door, looking for a conference room, and saw two people making out in it.
 
Yet another factor has to do with advances in HIV medicine. The advent of PreP (a medicine you can take to protect against HIV infection, although it doesn’t protect against any other STDs), as well as better treatment for AIDS patients has caused people to believe that HIV is no longer as dangerous and that, consequently, safe sex is not necessary.
 
The website [adjective][species] has a thoughtful article on the topic, too: http://www.adjectivespecies.com/2012/10/08/furries-hiv/. Here, the writer suggests some other factors, including that HIV is “scary,” so people do not like to talk about it, which makes them more ignorant of the facts and dangers. The article also suggests that the “incestuous” furry community has a higher rate of STDs within it, making infection more likely.
 
And there you have it.
 
Ignore your friends’ scorn, Toichi, and be the smart furry you are. Always play it safe.
 
Hugs,
Papabear

Furry friends, I’m honored to share a special invitation to you from media producer Ben McShane. A professional studio is being offered for you to make YOUR video show. (Please be aware this is on site in Burbank, CA.)

When Ben’s call for furry talent came to my inbox, I had to be careful to screen it.  (We know about ‘the media,’ right?) I saw that Ben’s genuinely into cool stuff, has worked on some shows you may know (Battlebots, Shark Tank), and is associated with Nerdist. I’m copying from his resume to show the guy who’s inviting you:

Producer, Project Alpha – Legendary Digital Networks / Nerdist Industries

“Currently I am the producer on a number of shows for Project Alpha, the exclusive, interactive, live-streaming SVOD portal for Legendary Digital Networks. I manage a small budget, oversee staff hires for the shows, and lead creative. Many hats!

Live broadcast and digital content are exciting new frontiers for me as a producer. As a life-long table top gamer and über-geek, coming to work with the Nerdist and Geek & Sundry families has already been one of the most memorable stops of my career. I can’t wait for the shows to launch so I can say more!”

Check Project Alpha and browse the shows to get some idea of what they already have… I sense a great opportunity.

Ben shares details of the project:

“On Public Access, we turn our Nerdist stage over to people from outside the company to produce their show for 22 minutes. I bring the stage, the lights, the crew… the on-camera folks bring the show.

I’m completely sensitive to the public perception issues that can make furry fans wary… but the great thing is, whoever steps up and does “the furry show” on Public Access gets to control the content 100% – within the technical confines of our stage. The show streams live; there’s no deceptive editing or after-the-fact commentary.

The only other restriction is that everything has to be clearable. Everyone appearing needs to sign a one-page appearance release, any artwork shown needs a one-page materials release signed by the artist, etc.

I definitely want the show to include fursuits in some form, because a user clicking in will find it visually striking, but I think a broader “insider” fandom discussion, that either directly or indirectly dispels misconceptions, would be terrific. Or it could be 22 minutes in fursona. It can be almost anything. I’m really just looking for someone within the fandom to take charge and “make it so!”

Public Access shoots in Burbank, CA on Sundays from 3:30p to 6:00p. I have slots open on 1/8, 1/15, and 1/22 and am really hoping to get something from the community on one of those dates.

All shows are 22 minutes long and tape live. We set the stage for your show, lock our three cameras, and the board operator switches cameras back and forth live as the show streams-out.  Some technical and creative limitations…

• It’s a three camera show
• Once the show begins, we can’t reposition cameras; cameras are locked
• It’s difficult to fit more than four people on stage at a time
• We can play graphics, sounds, and roll video clips
• All persons appearing on camera need to sign our 1 page release
• All intellectual property needs to be cleared with our 1 page release
• After streaming, the episode’s live on our site. Clearance releases are non-exclusive (the owner retains rights to those works), but our non-exclusive license is worldwide and perpetual; meaning the parent company can continue to show the episode after it streams indefinitely.

3-5 days after taping, the show’s live on our site video-on-demand. We air on Project Alpha, a subscriber-based portal from the same folks who do Nerdist and Geek & Sundry. Alpha offers 30 day trials, so your fans and friends can sign-up to watch your show for free. Here’s the site: www.projectalpha.com. If you sign-up for a trial, navigate to Shows, “See All,” and then find the Public Access page, you can see some of the previous shows we’ve filmed.” (- Ben)

Again, this happens on site in Burbank!  Some furries are already involved.  New responders might either join them or talk to Ben about doing your own.  

Serious responders, please send a short intro about your capability, and a short message about what kind of show you’d make. I’ll forward.

Email to patch.ofurr@gmail.com.

Mengyao Zhang has been working mostly as a layout artist and lighting specialist while he completes his studies at the Savannah College of Art and Design in Georgia. Most recently he and his team have been hard at work on his thesis film, Philip — and now they have a Kickstarter campaign up and running to get the film completed. “It tells a dystopian story about Philip who’s trying to free himself from the rules in his world. The story of this film is based on the black and white film Metropolis from 1927. The aesthetic of the film is influenced by German Expressionism and tells a story which is dark in appearance but warm in the heart.” Oh, did we mention that Philip and his world are all cat people?

image c. 2017 by Mengyao Zhang

Reminder: We're on Patreon! If you could kick us a buck or two, we'd greatly appreciate it. www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow ALSO, we're not just on SoundCloud, you can also subscribe to this on most podcast services like iTunes! Don't forget to hang out in our telegram chat, now w/ over 100 members!telegram.me/draggetshow 151 - Happy New Year! - Reminder: We're on Patreon! If you could kick us …

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on how self-control is just you empathizing with your future self. We look at an article that discusses your brain (with words that Metriko barely can pronounce) and how empathy and self-control are merely two sides of the same coin. It's an interesting lead in because-

Our main topic is commitment vs. autonomy in a relationship. As a relationship develops and becomes long-term, partners often struggle with balancing how to maintain their independence without sacrificing intimacy in the relationship. We discuss the definitions, pitfalls, and tribulations that are often encountered in such encounters, and ways that you can work to help stabilize your relationship. It's a real romp of a topic and one to get 2017 off with a running start!

Our closing question is from a bisexual guy who has issues emotionally connecting with ladies and problems performing anal sex with men. Is he doomed to be a straight player or is this just latent homophobia? We unpack this question and offer some less accusatory answers to his questions.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 052 Commitment vs. Autonomy - Are empathy and self-control related? Can you be committed in a relationship while maintaining your autonomy? Is a bisexual guy secretly homophobic? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

A happy new year from CGI house Illusorium Studios!
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Ha Huy Hoang is a freelance animator and character designer who signs his work with the name Splendid River. Over at his web site he has many samples of his work, and also a short trailer for Rescue, a 2D animated film he is working to complete. A chubby wolf must discover his inner hero when an evil monster kidnaps the love of his life — a pretty mushroom. Yes. Also for sale at the web site are his books of character design sketches, Toontastic and Animatoon.

image c. 2017 by Ha Huy Hoang

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Another fine mashup from isthishowyougoviral with NSFW lyrics. What do you expect with Eminem?
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Here’s an artist who also puts things quite simply: “Justin Hilden is an animator and illustrator based in Los Angeles. He loves possums and Scandinavian pastries.” Based on the former at least, Justin created an animated short film called Oh Possum, which can be viewed on his web site. There you will also find an extensive essay about his creative process of dreaming up the possum brothers, Switch and Ellsworth, and bringing them to life through animation. You can also see episodes of The Roadents, a series about two gophers on a road trip that Justin created for Bix Pix Entertainment and Sony Pictures Television.

image c. 2017 by Justin Hilden

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Black Swan (BONUS ENDING)
The story isn't over yet. See more at: http://www.TheRaccoonsDen.com FACEBOOK: http://www.Facebook.com/TheRaccoonsDen TWITTER: http://www.Twitter.com/TheRaccoonsDen FURAFFINITY: http://www.FurAf... From: The Raccoon's Den Views: 2365 16 ratings Time: 02:56 More in Entertainment

From french film production company Studiocanal [1] comes a a film about snakes and a scorpion. Yes, snakes. It may be some time before we get an English version of this. "The incredible adventure of a little snake ready to do anything to regain the love of his life. Tired of being the pain-sufferers of their community, Ajar the snake and his buddy Pitt the scorpion decide to try their luck in the neighboring oasis where the high bourgeoisie of the Saharan desert lives and to find Eva, a beautiful serpent of which Ajar fell madly in love. It is the beginning of crazy adventures that will lead them to cross the desert in the pursuit of love and even more to the discovery of themselves ..." [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StudioCanal
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It seems as if we’ve been seeing trailers for A Dog’s Purpose for a long long time now, but it’s finally set to actually hit theaters at the end of this month. It’s a live action film directed by Lasse Hallstrom (The Cider House Rules), based on a novel by W. Bruce Cameron. Josh Gad (Frozen) stars as the interior voice of a domestic dog, initially named Bailey. We say ‘initially’ because after several years living with a beloved human boy, Bailey dies… only to be re-born as another dog with another human companion.  And so on and so on, different lives as different dogs with different humans… until, several lives down the road of eternity, he meets up with Bailey’s original companion. IMDB has more.

image c. 2017 Amblin Entertainment

Karen Krajenbrink describes her job quite succinctly: “I do art.” Going into perhaps a bit more detail, she elaborates: “Associate Art Director at a mobile gaming company by day, freelancer by night. I’ve worked in games, film, and TV for art direction, visual development, character design, story, pipeline creation, BG paint, prop design, and technical pitches.” Add to that one more achievement: In 2015 she completed her first illustrated children’s book called Fox & Boots, “… a 24 page story about friendship, love, and loss, illustrated in full color.” It’s available at her store, along with her sketchbook and several art prints. [Let us wish you all a Happy and Safe New Year in 2017!]

image c. 2016 by Karen Krajenbrink

Another artist with a distinctive style goes by the distinctive name of Edwardian Taylor. He works as a concept artist, storyboard artist, and children’s book illustrator. According to his web site, “Edwardian Taylor has always loved to draw.  It became so bad, that his parents had to hide his crayons from him because when he was out of paper he would draw all over his bedroom walls.  He got familiar with the uses of cleaning supplies at an early age, but this never kept him from drawing.” Among his interesting current projects is a new book called The Animal Alphabet Fairy Tale Edition, which presents each letter of the alphabet via a different creature from myth, legend, and classic literature. His Shop also has a collection of his books and art prints.

image c. 2016 by Edwardian Taylor

​Dear Papa Bear,

I have been a part of the furry fandom for about 3 years now, but I have only become active in the fandom about a year ago. I consider myself an artist and I make furry art all the time. I'm hoping to attend a con sometime soon as well. One thing that I really want to get is a fursuit. I only want a partial because I know I could grow out of a full suit quickly. I want one mainly to entertain and to advertise my character at conventions. I'm willing to save up the money, but my parents do not really understand why having a suit is important, or why it is not a waste of money. One of their main arguments is that I would never wear it. I know they can cost around $1,000 or more for a decent suit, so I could see their point. I don't have any big issues with paying for college or a car, so I do have room to buy one. I just need a good reason to justify my purchase to my parents. They tend to think that people who go to cons are weird, and I know that they are not entirely wrong. I've tried to explain to them that being yourself and expressing your hobbies is not a bad thing when in the right places. I don't exactly know how they would react to the fursuiters at cons, so I need your advice. How can I convince my parents that fursuits are not weird and that it is not a waste of my money (and yes I know that fursuiting is a little weird, but you know what I mean.) 

Thanks,

James the Arctic Fox (age 14)
 
* * *
 
Hi, James,
 
Smart of you to only get a partial for now, since you are probably still growing. Also, if money isn’t an issue for you and you save up the money for yourself, then you should be able to purchase what you want to without having to get parental approval, especially if, by the time you get a full fursuit, you are 18 or older.
 
Secondly, furry is a hobby, right? Many hobbies can cost a considerable amount of money. For example, golfing, skiing, SCUBA diving, horseback riding, etc. These are all things that could easily rack up hundreds of dollars in costs over a short period. Would your parents consider these things a “waste of money”? We all need some fun and hobbies in our lives, and I bet they wouldn’t criticize such pursuits. Therefore! Their objection is not the money; it’s the hobby itself, right? “Waste of money” is code for “We think that’s weird and don’t want you to do it.”
 
So, is fursuiting “weird”? Well, no stranger than being, say, a mascot. If you wanted to dress up as a lion for a local high school team, would that be weird? Oh, no no, heavens no, because that is related to socially sanctioned sports, so it’s cool. Is fursuiting weirder than people going to Star Trek conventions and dressing up as Vulcans and Ferengi? Again, it is the furry thing your parents object to.
 
Oh, here’s something interesting, too: if you are trying to be an artist—a professional, money-making artist—and create a fursuit to promote your business, your fursuit is tax deductible as a marketing tool, so maybe you could use that as an argument, too. Quite a few furries make money doing this sort of thing.
 
Finally, fursuiting is a lot of fun! Don’t your parents like you to have fun? I love donning my bear fursuit and having people wanting to give me a hug because I’m a cute fuzzy bear. It’s a way to interact with others and to bring fun and joy into people’s lives. What’s weird about that?
 
In summary: fursuiting is fun, a fursuit can be a marketing tool, and fursuiting is no stranger or more expensive than some other hobbies out there. And, anyway, you can't hug money, but you can hug a furry. Argument made.
 
Hugs,
Papabear