Feed aggregator

It's #OutsiderFursuitFriday! I do wonder if Anjaya know about furry and why she decided on including partial fursuits. These are slightly better than the usual rentals you see in outsider projects. So weird.
View Video

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Urchin and the Raven War, by M. I. McAllister. (The Mistmantle Chronicles, Book 4.) Illustrated by Omar Rayyan.
NYC, Hyperion Books for Children, October 2008, hardcover $17.99 (284 pages), Kindle $6.99.

Urchin and the Rage Tide, by M. I. McAllister. (The Mistmantle Chronicles, Book 5.) Illustrated by Omar Rayyan.
NYC, Disney • Hyperion Books, July 2010, hardcover $17.99 (268 pages), Kindle $6.99.

This is a guilty review. I reviewed the first three Mistmantle Chronicles for Cubist’s Anthro magazine in 2007 and 2008. Then Anthro ceased publication. An additional complication was that the first three books appeared first as British paperbacks, with the American hardcovers as reprints. When I looked for any subsequent books, I looked on Amazon.uk and didn’t find any. This was because there weren’t any more British editions. Books 4 and 5 were only published in America. So I never reviewed them when they were first published.

Fortunately, they are still available, so I am correcting that error now. The Mistmantle Chronicles are technically children’s books, but they are very similar to Brian Jacques’ Redwall novels, and those are enjoyed by readers of all ages. If you are fond of serious adventures featuring talking animals, don’t miss The Mistmantle Chronicles.

The setting of Urchin of the Riding Stars (January 2005), Urchin and the Heartstone (April 2006), and The Heir of Mistmantle (March 2007) is the isolated island of Mistmantle, hidden by thick sea mists (I was going to say fog, but McAllister makes a distinction between fog and mists). It is a kingdom shared by four British woodland animal species living in harmony: hedgehogs, moles, otters, and squirrels. When the series starts, Mistmantle is ruled by good King Brushen, a hedgehog. But there have been other dynasties in the past, and there is no prejudice against a new king from one of the other species. Whenever a dynasty does not have an heir, the senior captain becomes the next king. The captain (there are traditionally three) is a combination of a royal advisor and leader of the royal guards.

In the first three books, Urchin, a young squirrel, hopes to become a page to Captain Crispin, another squirrel. There is plotting and skullduggery at the highest level, Urchin helps expose the real villain but not before King Brushen and his heir are killed, and Crispin is chosen as the new king. In Book 2, Urchin discovers another island hidden in the sea mists, Whitewings, and gets involved in its politics. Book 3 is about the kidnapping of King Crispin’s newborn daughter, and a new crisis that casts doubt on Crispin’s leadership ability. Urchin helps to get Crispin’s heir back, and to demonstrate to Mistmantle’s people that Crispin will be a fine leader.

In Urchin and the Raven War, Urchin has become a trusted member of King Crispin’s inner Circle. The story begins when a group of swans arrive from Swan Island:

“Five swans drifted down from the sky and skimmed onto the sea so smoothly that a graceful track flared through the water behind each one. But they looked weary and ragged. Swans usually held their necks tall and their heads high, but these drooped over the waves. Their badly ruffled feathers were smudged with mud, blood, and weed. Their eyes were hollow with strain and tiredness. their leader – bigger than the rest and still struggling to hold his head and wings high – swam to the shallows and stepped on great webbed feet to the shore. Fingal [an otter], as a member of the Circle, went to greet him. The swan lowered his beak just a little.” (p. 10)

The swans report that their island has been overrun by ravens. Although ravens are usually carrion eaters, only concerned with those already dead, these ravens are killing everything first. The Circle decides that they have to help the swans, both to repay past aid and for their own self-interest:

“‘Then assuming that a good look at the Threadings proves us right,’ said Crispin, ‘we have to help Lord Arcneck, and not only for his sake. If the ravens are as bad as he says, they won’t be content with one island. When they’ve finished killing and feasting there, they’ll start on the next, and the next. Sooner or later it would be Whitewings, Mistmantle, and every other island in the sea. Battle plans, then.’” (p. 23)

“‘So we fly on swans!’ said Crispin, and smiled up brightly at the Circle animals. Some gasped with excitement, while others looked worried or, like Tay, appalled. ‘But we can’t send much of a fighting force with only five swans, even if one can carry two of us. Tactics, anyone? Very good tactics?’

‘They’ll have to be brilliant tactics,’ said Captain Arran [otter], Padra’s wife. Her gold circlet was half hidden by the rough, tufty fur around the top of her head. ‘A lot of vicious creatures who can fly against a handful who can’t.’

Silence followed as Urchin tried hard to think of an idea, and couldn’t. He could see that everyone else felt the same.” (pgs. 23-24)

Uh-oh! The plot isn’t turning out as I thought it would. In fact, there are unexpected changes every few pages. Arrgh! I can’t figure out how to describe any of them without giving away major spoilers! There’s action and adventure and despair and suspense. There are spies and traitors and sacrifice and death. Many deaths.

“‘Somebody’s going to die,’ she muttered. ‘Somebody important.’

‘How do you know’ asked Urchin, but Needle [a hedgehog] shook her head.

Urchin had discovered before that he could be strong and calm when he really needed to, even when he hadn’t felt remotely strong and calm before. It worked now.

‘Needle,’ he said. ‘we all know that. We’re all important, and this is a war. Some of us are going to die.’

With pain and horror in her eyes, she swung around to face him. ‘Don’t say ‘us’!’ she cried. ‘You mustn’t say ‘us’!’ She turned and ran for the stair.” (pgs. 169-170)

Let’s move on to Urchin and the Rage Tide. A rage tide is a storm-driven flood tide that causes massive coastal and inland damage. King Crispen and his Circle (including Urchin) prepare for it as best they can, but meanwhile they have to deal with Mossberry, a mad squirrel who preaches to the animals that only he is the true deliverer, and that they should listen to him rather than to Crispen and his officials.

“He rose with a fierce intensity in his eyes. His work must be done, and nobody must stand in his way. He ran to Watchtop Hill, where he climbed a tree and looked out over the island as the tree swayed in the wind, rocking him.

It was no good trying to talk to those animals in the tower. They all thought they knew best, but he could always find animals who’d listen to him. He already had followers, animals who were weak and confused and knew how much they needed him.” (p. 31)

Since Mossberry is truly deluded and not a villain, they try go easy on him and his followers. This is a mistake, especially when this rage tide turns out to be particularly horrific. It engulfs the entire island and the seas around the neighboring islands.

“‘Heart help us!’ yelled Corr [an otter], and hoped that the Heart heard the crying of his own heart though the fury and crash of the waves drowned out his voice. The boat lurched and tipped, water swirling around Corr’s paws. He bailed furiously. Crown’s [a swan] strong beak held the tiller as the little boat pitched. A wave flung itself over them. Spray blinded Corr. A second wave hurled him into the water and threw him back against the boat, knocking the breath from him. Gripping the side with both paws he heaved himself back in, tumbling onto the soaked benches, and when he raised his head he saw something he had never seen before, and would never forget.” (p. 176)

I’ve always preferred McAllister’s Mistmantle books to Jacques’ Redwall books. For one thing, the Redwall series all seem like the same adventure with just cosmetic changes, while the Mistmantle adventures are all different. For another, the Redwall novels rely on smart Redwallers – both the adults and the children – and really stupid vermin. The Mistmantle novels pit intelligent heroes against intelligent villains. In Redwall, only the villains die. In Mistmantle, …

The two series are both alike in having illustrations that are only small chapter headings. Of these, I prefer those in the Redwall books. Omar Rayyan’s art style is too detailed, especially in his squirrels’ fluffy fur, for his small chapter heading drawings.

The five Mistmantle Chronicles are not only still available on sale, they are in most public libraries. If you don’t want copies to keep, you should be able to borrow them for free.

–Fred Patten

• Buy Urchin and the Raven War on Amazon
• Buy Urchin and the Rage Tide on Amazon

The artist known as Jillor has made quite a name for herself designing, creating, and even repairing full-body fur-suits. So popular is her work that (as you can see from her web site) her commission docket is full up from now through 2018! Interesting side note though: She also has an entire other web site dedicated to her feral dance masks as well. Each and every mask is custom designed by Jillor (under the name Mercury Pale) for the wearer.

image c. 2017 by Mercury Pale

Save

Nominated for a 2016 Oscars for best animated short. Ya know? Some days nobody really wins.
View Video

Thanks to Matthias for writing for our mission: to show that furries don’t just dream, they make things with awesome DIY power. EZ Wolf’s shirt says it all. – Patch

Such a wonderful last night at AC. Here's Patch O'Furr and EZ Wolf, both famous documentarians of the furry scene! pic.twitter.com/DK9PnLWEXZ

— Vox Fox (@minstrelbill) July 13, 2015

Wearing a fursuit is a pain in the tail. I wouldn’t know myself, since I would like to have a roof over my head for the next month. However, ask anyone who has had the joy of bringing their amazing characters to life, and they’ll tell you it’s like wearing your couch. There’s a lot of sweat and heat that goes into bringing the magic to life. But one member of our fandom has gone out of his way to battle this problem, and has developed one of the most successful fandom businesses. I’m talking about the EZ Cool Down vests created by well-known photographer and video maker, EZ Wolf.  Here’s what he told me.

Introduced in 2013, the vest has become a standard for many Furries to stay cool under their fursuit.

(EZ Wolf:) “The EZCooldown Performers vest is specially designed for actors, cosplayers, LARPers, fursuiters, and other costume performers.

This cooling vest provides hours of cooling comfort and prevention against heat stress thanks to four special PCM inserts which provide comfortable cooling relief for up to four hours, even during strenuous activities in high-temperature environments.

Each vest has four inserts made of phase change material.

The four inserts contain biological phase change material (PCM), which retains cold.

The PCM inserts can be quickly activated in your refrigerator or freezer or by putting them in ice water, and they can be reused over and over again. Once activated, the PCM maintains its temperature for a long period, providing comfortable cooling relief.

The EZCooldown Performers vest is made out of thin yet durable polyester mesh, which won’t add a thermal insulating layer to your outfit.

The four inside pockets can house four PCM inserts: two on your chest and two on your lower back.

Our vests come in three sizes and can be easily adjusted with the six Velcro straps to fit each individual wearer perfectly.”

Unlike fursuit making, this is a step up from the process of custom handiwork.  EZ Cool Down does not make the vest themselves.

“We work with renowned manufacturers in The Netherlands, China and Poland. All the designing is done here in The Netherlands.

Next to cooling vests we’re currently working on a new neck cooler and cooling shorts, especially useful for fursuiters with digitigrade leg padding.”

When introduced to the fandom, it was received with open paws.

“The feedback we get is overwhelmingly positive!

Some folks are a bit sceptic at first, but during furcons we always have a few vests available for people to try. Once they put it on, you always hear the same reaction: ‘Oh! this feels really nice!’

Next to that it’s the fursuiters who already own an EZCooldown vest who are our biggest and best promoters. I think half of our sales comes from word of mouth promotion.”

Out of curiosity, I asked EZ Wolf how many Fursuiters use his vests:

“Currently, more than 2000 fursuiters are being kept cool by an EZCooldown cooling vest.

It’s something I never could have guessed when I started with this idea only 3 years ago. This also leaves us with a serious responsibility: Fursuiters and costume performers depend on their cooling vest and we want to be sure they have a product that meets up to their expectations. We take after-sales service very seriously and we’re trying to help our customers as much as possible to get the most out of their purchase.”

While EZ Wolf enjoys the success of his business, the journey to making them though was long and full of roadblocks.

“Next to an enthusiastic cosplayer and fursuiter, I am a professional photographer and filmmaker. Combining these two activities, I found myself shooting films with cosplayers and fursuiters since 1999. One of the major problems I encountered was to keep actors cool and comfortable during the extensive shootings, which quite often took place in the blistering sun or under hot studio lighting.

An item on CNN which showed US soldiers wearing PCM vests was a real eye opener for me. I did some research to see if these vests would be suitable for fursuiters, but I quickly learnt they weren’t.

Most industrial and military vests are too bulky to wear under a costume. Other vests combine PCM with evaporation technology which makes them ideal for athletes, football players and Formula 1 drivers but not for costume performers as the vest is not exposed to airflow under a costume. So basically I got stuck with these amazing PCM inserts without a matching vest suitable for costume performers.

From my film making experience I’ve learned that when something you need does not exist, you build it yourself. So I started to design a decent, costume-friendly cooling vest.

I had some ideas about the qualifications and features it needed from my own experiences as a fursuiter but unfortunately I’m not a tailor. That is why I found a good sports clothing manufacturer and together we designed the EZCD vest.
First I tested various versions of PCM applications and asked my fursuit friends to try them out and give feedback. This lead to the first EZCD prototype vests, which were introduced during Eurofurence 2013. Fursuiters who tried it instantly loved it!

After a few modifications I introduced the 1st production version of the EZcooldown vest, which instantly got a lot of positive feedback from fursuiters across the globe.

Early 2016, my partner Tom Lord a.k.a. ‘Malamutt’ joined the company. He designs and maintains our webstores and manages logistics.

Together we’re now catering a broad market in personal cooling solutions: We offer a variety of cooling vests for virtually anyone who needs cooling in whatever situation: entertainment, medical, construction, industry, military, leisure and sports.”

You read right. While the vest was created primarily for fursuits and costume performers, the company has expanded into several other industries.

“We started out creating a product for fursuiters and costume performers. It was a few months until other industries found out about our Performers Vest.

Today our cooling vests are being used by:

• pharmaceutical scientists in Indianapolis US
• ferry boat engine operators in Scandinavia
• oil rig workers on the US West Coast
• cardiovascular patients and people who suffer from MS across the globe
• one of the world’s most famous church organ player
• construction workers at Dubai International Airport
• mascots in the world’s most famous movie theme park
• cargo workers in Lahore, Pakistan
• professional video game testers in Canada
• housekeeping staff at hotels in Singapore and Hong Kong
• go-kart racers in The Netherlands, France and Brazil
• the Swiss Guard in Vatican City
• lots of Stormtroopers, Boba Fetts and Wookiees all over the world.”

With all that, what has EZ Wolf taken away the most with his experience doing EZ Cool Down?

“Most of our customers are costumers. The fact that we can offer a solution to one of the biggest inconveniences with fursuiting is definitely a huge takeaway.

Another one is that we’ve been learning a LOT about doing business within the furry fandom. In fact: the last few years have been quite a roller coaster. We’re happy to share our knowledge with other furs who’re thinking about starting an enterprise.

We’ve hosted some ‘business-furs’ panels during cons and we’re helping a few individual startups by sharing our experiences and the pitfalls we’ve encountered.

The furry fandom is an amazing and awesome community. Working for and with furries, and being able to make a living out of something you love doing is simply fantastic!”

So where do you go to buy these vest?

“We have two web stores: one for the US & Canada:

http://www.ezcooldown.com

And one for Europe:

http://www.ezcooldown.eu

We’re also present in dealer dens at major furcons in Europe and we have plans to attend US cons again in 2017.”

Keep your eyes on EZ Wolf’s Twitter and company Twitter to keep up with all con news. The company still goes out of their way to add to the store. They announced back in November they will be releasing a PCM CoolCollar to help performers keep cool so the magic can go on and on like the Energizer Bunny. If you are a fursuiter and haven’t yet tried an EZ Cool Down vest, ask around or try one at a con if you can.

Stay cool Fluffer Nutters. Stay awesome. Stay amazing. Stay you.

-Matthias

Bazteki is an original artist who paints in a watercolor style. Here’s what they have to say about what they do: “Art is healing. Each work is a physical record of that healing taking place. Each animal represents a different energy and they are called on as needed. Art is play, and as it is with all play it is a wonderful way to learn how the universe works. Hopefully by sharing this work, a bit of what has been learned can be shared with others.” Their web page has examples of their work and more information about purchasing.

image c. 2017 by Bazteki

Hello Everyone!

On this week’s show we open with a discussion about a recent study on whether or not testing for herpes should be included in the standard STD panel. We look into research and advisements that show that testing for herpes on a regular basis may not be as effective, despite the best of intentions.

Our topic today is our third all questions show! We take a trip through our backlog of questions, ranging from fitness to long distance relationships to dating friends. Several of these questions are longer and, as always, we invite you to offer your feedback on the questions and offer advice of your own, especially if you think we missed something or got it wrong.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 054 All Questions Show Vol. 3 - Is the test for herpes as accurate as you think, or is it maybe just a rash? How many questions could a question podcast answer if a question podcast could answer questions? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

After quite a long time they finally release the trailer for Nub Job 2. This looks like it borrows heavily from the Brendan Fraser [1] film Furry Vengeance. and in other news: Nut Job 2 is actually a thing and not direct to video. [1] https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2017/01/06/the-ravages-of-time
View Video

New ep! We talk freezing rain, the Nintendo Switch, Alkali's visit to Kage's Winestream and more! Reminder: We're on Patreon! If you could kick us a buck or two, we'd greatly appreciate it. www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow ALSO, we're not just on SoundCloud, you can also subscribe to this on most podcast services like iTunes! Don't forget to hang out in our telegram chat, now w/ over 100 members!telegram.me/draggetshow 152 Mario Rehab - New ep! We talk freezing rain, the Nintendo Swit…

Tamberlane is a full-color on-line comic written and illustrated by Caytlin Vilbrandt. “In Treehollow, Belfry is well known as the bat with a heart of gold and penchant for accidents. All the residents love her and fear her in equal measures. So of course when she literally stumbles across a strange creature who seems to be some kind of abandoned kit, she wants to care for it… but is she truly up to the task? Or will it die a horrifying, accident-related death?” After a successful Kickstarter campaign last year, the first compilation issue of Tamberlane on dead trees will be available soon.

image c. 2017 by Caytlin Vilbrandt

New Pogo video from Robin Hood ... 'nuff said. Thanks goes to Sysable for this tip.
View Video

It’s an honor to welcome guest posting with Culturally F’d, the furry channel most in tune with everything we do here. Thanks Arrkay! – Patch

Hey Fluff Punks, it’s Arrkay here from Culturally F’d. Hope you had a restful holiday! Today we’re going to round up 2016’s best of furry YouTube.

Hilda The Bambioid at ConFurence Zero. This outstanding blast from the past surfaced from a very early organized furry event.  It was one of the first furry-made fursuits. This cheesy dance was part of this very small con’s masquerade, long before there were enough fursuits to clog the con halls with a parade.

(Comment from Patch: This was digitized and uploaded by Changa Lion, from the original video in the library of the Prancing Skiltaire furry house. I got dinner with him at Further Confusion and got to hear his surprise and amusement at seeing this go unexpectedly viral! He mentioned that the suit-wearer always intended the performance to be undercover without identity.  It’s easy to find today, although it’s unknown if credit would be welcomed now.)

FurScience “Just Like You” campaign. I got a sneak peak of this back in March at Furnal Equinox.  The IARP has rebranded its public face as “FurScience” in an effort to combat furry stigma and give the parents of furries some information and relief.

“The Natural World” by EZ Wolf. He knocks our socks off again with a twist on the typical convention video, a mockumentary of furries in the wild.

“Furries in the Media” by Aberguine.  She shines a light on the scene in her own series, where she picks apart instances in TV and the news where furries are used, and grades them on accuracy and spirit. Here is her dissection of the infamous CSI Episode “Fur and Loathing”:

The Raccoons Den also had the lead up to their season finale start, in a dramatic recreation of a news blogger manipulating furry fandom interviews for yet another click-baity headline on the deviancy of Furry.

Furry.Today’s Best videos from 2016

 

I’m a regular visitor at Furry.today and so should you be! I spend most of my time on YouTube, but Changa Lion curates Furry Today from Vimeo as well.

(Comment from Patch: Changa Lion is a greymuzzle who lives with “furry founders” RodO’Riley and Mark Merlino at the Prancing Skiltaire. All of us got dinner at Further Confusion and I heard a wealth of fandom wisdom from the 1980’s and older.  They told me great stories of associating with Golden Age animation royalty like Chuck Jones and influencing animation history, such as getting obscure anime screened for Disney artists who used it for parts of movies you would recognize.  Changa has professional broadcast graphics experience, and described himself as a “video hoarder.” He has long compiled animation festivals worth of content to show at cons.  I told him that deserved much wider audience, even a touring festival of its own. The fandom is big and active enough to support one now.)  

I reached out for Changa’s top picks from 2016, and here’s what we’ve got.

Music Videos:

• Buy Everything: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xM30LBhHDrQ
• Felix Cosgrave, Dont Hurt Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pviC25b3Lv8 
• I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmN1BX1m9HU 
• Love Today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7173laZFlJg 
• Mata Hari: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AByKKHvNJ_U 
• Vancufur Welcome: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ki0CR6mKgTU 
• VivziePop, Silhouette: https://youtu.be/t47fADGOaxc
• Zootopia AMV Hell of a Season: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhUbjhW8C1k 

Commercial:

• Audi Comeback: https://vimeo.com/182819920
• Kia Hamsters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQQkElKi0NQ 
• OK,Cupid: https://vimeo.com/100353394

Films:

• Desert Critters: https://vimeo.com/164132084
• Dogtor: https://vimeo.com/164036464
• Fox In Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uieM18rZdHY 
• New Pigs In Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmI77ZBeJrQ
• Untamed: https://vimeo.com/153783875

Culturally F’d in 2016:

 

At Culturally F’d, we worked our tails off to produce and upload about 70 videos in 2016 – bringing our total uploaded to a cool 100. The most popular was one we felt was sorely needed and took about 6 collaborators to write – Culturally F’d’s 17 Misconceptions about Furries and the Furry Fandom:

Our crossover with Aberguine was a double whammy and a huge highlight for our year as well. She’s delightful to work with and her channel delivers consistent reviews of furries in the news, reality TV and talk shows and anywhere else we show up.

On the fun side of our channel, our official mascot Rusty has been working throughout the year on his own fursuit, a wolf-husky sparkledog named, with the help of our viewers, “Tetanus”. This compilation will conveniently catch you up on how Rusty inadvertently breathed life into his horrifically ugly fursuit.

Our best episodes of the year were all written with outside help. So thank you to everyone who’s reached out to Culturally F’d or let us use your work in some way. We’re hoping that 2017 will have more collaboration and cross-overs between furries on YouTube.

Culturally F’d recent news:

 

Here’s what’s been happening on Culturally F’d: We took the holiday off of doing proper episodes and gave you a few bonus episodes including: The Art of F’d, a look at how our thumbnails are painted by Underbite, the Tetanus and Rusty compilation above and last week Rusty punched 2016 in the face. This week we’re taking a look at “Death and Bunnies: RIP Watership Down author R. Adams” and doing an author spotlight on the late Richard Adams and his work.

We also launched our store! Please check out our store at: http://www.culturallyfd.com to check out some sweet t-shirts. Fluff Punk is a play on how SteamPunk and Dieselpunk can just take on “punk” onto something to make it an arts movement, furries get to be Fluff Punks (if you want). We also have a gorgeous full print design based on the work by J.C.Leyendecker. It was the cover of the Saturday Evening Post in the July edition 1905.

It’s also Ursa Major Award Nominations Season! Send them your nominations for the best in Furry from 2016, including videos and video creators. Sign up now, it’s super easy, and keep an eye out here on Dogpatch.press for their annual Ursa Major award articles.

Submit YOUR favorite videos from last year down in the comments section!

Down a Roland this week the cast gets together for a whackoff of a good time Episode -14 - No sharks in the bathroom plz

Vox is missing this episode but Kaar has taken his place. Come and enjoy the first episode of 2017!!! Episode -15 - Labeo chrysophekadion

Hello! Back from Further Confusion 2017 with lots to talk about. Starting off with a whole new way to get yourself a head for your anthropomorphic costume! Tetra Variations is a company started by a fan who goes by the name of Mr. T-Rex. (He’s working hard on making that Dr. T-Rex, which is a scary thought.) For now he specializes in creating geometric patterns which you can purchase for download, print out on your own stiff paper, then cut and paste into masks, puppets, toys, and other useful items. Dinosaurs are a specialty, but as you can see from his store there are lots of other animals to be found as well. Sign up for his newsletter and he’ll also let you know when new designs come out.

image c. 2016 Tetra Variations

Some people were born to adopt.
View Video

Not a proper episode. Fayroe was so busy working on our new house he forgot to show up… Sorta. Anyway we sat around and chatted for an hour or so.

Download MP3

[Live] Missing Blue

Not a proper episode. Fayroe was so busy working on our new house he forgot to show up… Sorta. Anyway we sat around and chatted for an hour or so.

Download MP3

Watch Video FC-255X Missing Blue - Not a proper episode. Fayroe was so busy working on our new house he forgot to show up... Sorta. Anyway we sat around and chatted for an hour or so.

Hello, Papabear,

I'm very unhappy. I don't know what to do. I love her so much, but still I know she can never be with me. There is no way for it to happen. Not even by a miracle. I'm crying as I write this. No one likes me. I have no friends. I get constantly bullied every day in school. I'm very unhappy and utterly confused. It hurts so much. She is amazing, gorgeous (both inside and out) in a way not a single person could imagine, a great student, extremely talented (can sing, paint, do sports well and play various instruments) ... She is so kind to everyone she meets, even to myself. She was the only one who smiled to me and not judging me or mocking me. I love her so much. I love her so much. I can't think straight. There is no way she could choose to be with someone like myself. I don't deserve her, but I can't help but love her. I don't want to come off as creepy to her. That is my worst nightmare, I can't even imagine something as stupid as that.

School is going to start again in a couple of days, I'm completely lost. I'm so scared, Papabear, please help me! I can't get anyone to help me and I lack a father figure in my life, which is a huge disadvantage. What should I do? She is the first person that I really fell in love with, I have a GIANT crush on her. I'm usually depressed and anxious but when I'm near her or when I notice her presence things change, at least a little bit.

I'm so sorry if I'm bothering you with my silly problems. I'm so sorry. I don't want to die alone!

-Silvertail (age 12)
 
* * *
 
Dear Silvertail,
 
You are not bothering me and your problem is not silly. Allow Papabear to try and give you some perspective.
 
First of all, take a deeeeeeeep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and let it go slowly. I completely get why you would fall in love for someone like this. She sounds quite remarkable. Combine that with the fact that she is kind to you when no one else seems to be, and you have a perfect formula for being head-over-heels in love. I get it. I acknowledge it. I am not going to belittle your feelings.
 
It’s good that you wrote to an older furry such as myself because you need to step back a bit and look at this with your head as much as your heart. Allow me to make a couple points here:

1. You are 12 years old. I realize that cubs are apparently reaching puberty at an earlier age these days (a topic for another column), but when I was your age, my main interest was not girls (or boys) and romance; it was playing in the street with my friends, playing board games, swimming, worrying about school, and hoping I could go see Star Wars at the Chinese Theater. I was four years away from my first date. People grow up too fast these days. It’s unhealthy. You need to spend some time treasuring your childhood before it is gone, rather than weighing yourself down with serious subjects such as romantic love.
2. You are 12 years old. This bears repeating. Even if you did successfully court this young girl, chances are you would have a few fun years together before life’s circumstances got in the way: you’d go to different colleges, find jobs in different places, decide to pursue interests that the two of you didn’t share. In short, you would grow up and grow apart. Not to mention the sheer impracticality of two people your age dating and socializing outside of school. You don’t even have a driver’s license yet.
3. First loves. It is extremely, extremely rare that a first love, especially at your age, will last a lifetime. The average person dates several people during their early years, and many people have more than one serious relationship. Your fear that you will die alone is awfully premature! Don’t panic. You’re YOUNG!

 
All that said, there is no reason at all that this couldn’t be a nice little relationship that you will look back on in years to come with a smile on your face. Such experiences are extremely valuable. You learn how to be a part of a couple, to share, to be considerate and affectionate, to be a true friend. These skills will prove valuable later in life with future relationships until you eventually find someone who becomes, hopefully, your spouse, lover, and closest friend.
 
To proceed, do not pounce. Do not approach the girl with “I love you!” declarations while you clutch bouquets of flowers and boxes of candy as gifts. Instead, begin with friendship, which is actually how all solid relationships with strong foundations should begin. I don’t know how much you have talked to her so far, but it sounds like you have had some interactions. Now proceed to the next level. Invite her to do something fun with you, whatever that might be. She sounds like she has many interests, so hopefully you share one or more of them and could experience them together. Since you’re too young to drive her to a movie or dinner, perhaps you could share a school function together. (On the other hand, if you don’t share any of her interests, this would be a clue that she is not a promising love interest for you).
 
Start with friendship. See how that goes. If it goes well and you start to get close, that is when you go to the next level: a kiss, a hug, and, eventually, those three little words, “I love you.”
 
To some up: calm down, take it slowly, and if it doesn’t work out, don’t panic. You have a lot of living in the future to do and it’s way too early to be afraid you will die alone.
 
Good Luck!
Papabear

* * *

She has a girlfriend, she has made it known to everyone on her Facebook today..... I didn't know she's homosexual/bisexual. I'm not feeling alright right now. I don't know.

Oh, and I've never had a friend in my life. She has a ton of them. I feel like jumping off a bridge. All of my life, up to this point, has been nothing but suffering, pain and anxiety. I have NEVER felt "happy" in my life. Not even once. There was always something standing in the way.

Why me?

* * *
 
Hi, Silvertail.
 
Well, that's a twist. Kind of proves my point that first crushes don't work out, but that's with a different state of affairs. At any rate: so, okay, she's a homosexual or whatever. You still like her as a person, right? You could still be friends, maybe even great friends with her. Sounds like you need a friend, so don't dismiss the possibility of having one, even though she isn't what you expected. You say she treats you with kindness, and that is something you could really use.
 
As for never being happy a day in your life: I don't know your life history, but do your parents know? If not, they need to know. You might also have clinical depression--something that can be diagnosed and treated by a professional. Don't be afraid to ask people for help.
 
Hugs,
Papabear