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She Followed Them Home One Night
We got this one from Animation magazine too: “BES Animation (Monster Beach) has made a deal with Jetpack Distribution to distribute its new [2D] animated series, Kitty Is Not a Cat, internationally… Kitty Is Not a Cat centers on a co-op of stray cats living together in a dilapidated mansion, left to them by an eccentric baroness. The cats’ life of constant partying is abruptly interrupted when they answer a knock at the door to find ‘Kitty’ — a cute little girl in an orange catsuit who followed one of them home. Determined to behave like a feline and not help the cats find her proper human home, Kitty becomes a part of the ‘family’ with hilarious results.” There’s a preview clip up on YouTube. Par for the course: No word yet on any distribution in North America.
image c. 2017 BES Animation
Locked in Love
Furry Worries about the Government Spying on Him
Although mass surveillance has made the world safer especially when it comes to the internet why do I feel paranoid everywhere I go in public and whenever I use the Internet to do research I hate being watched like this 24/7/52 also the Feds make me fearful one wrong move and I could be black bagged cuffed and taken away.
Sergie
* * *
Hi, Sergie,
You are not unjustified by your concern. Since the passage of the 2001 “Patriot Act,” there has been considerable concern about American citizens’ privacy, especially regarding their online and phone behavior. Basically, if the government thinks you might have a connection to terrorism in any way, it has carte blanche to access your files and possibly prosecute you. They can wiretap your phone or other device without telling you, and they can do the same monitoring your Internet browsing behavior.
Furthermore, there is increasing surveillance of our streets, airport security is a hassle, and it is probably not far off that they will demand we all have chip implants.
Because computers are easily accessed remotely, and so much is stored on “the Cloud,” it is feasible that government agents could plant incriminating evidence into your files, then get a warrant, “discover” it, and arrest you.
Scary times. Or so it would seem….
Fortunately, there are still laws made to protect Americans like you and me. The Fourth Amendment protects you against being searched without a warrant:
U.S. Constitution Fourth Amendment
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Also, US v. Katz 389 US 347 (1967), a U.S. Supreme Court decision, said that the government cannot eavesdrop on your communications, except in narrow exceptions that must be specifically explained by law.
Now, there is something called the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act that provides for the government to spy on citizens regarding communications with foreign entities, but the government still needs a court order to do so.
But the government tries to get away with shit all the time. That is when organizations such as the ACLU get involved and defend citizens’ rights and the Constitution.
Do not be afraid to defend and stand up for yourself, getting an attorney if needed. The government is supposed to serve the people, not vice versa.
At any rate, I sincerely doubt you are doing anything of interest to the NSA. Also, you are not being watched 24/7. There simply is not the time or staff or budget in the government to watch everyone do everything. Like any other investigative work, they rely on tips and leads to target suspicious activity.
But if you are concerned, here are some programs that can help shield you from nosy people:
1. Signal (https://whispersystems.org/) encrypts your text messaging and phone calls.
2. Tor Web Browser (https://www.torproject.org/projects/torbrowser.html.en) makes it harder to follow your web activities.
3. 1Password (https://1password.com/) helps you keep lots of passwords safe and makes it so you don’t have to worry if you forget a password.
Happy Surfing!
Papabear
Avaritia: A Fable, by M.D. Westbrook- Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer
Avaritia: A Fable, by M.D. Westbrook
Wichita, KS, M.W. Publishers, April 2016, trade paperback $9.99 (200 pages), Kindle $1.00.
Usually the dedication of a book is not pertinent, but this one really sets the mood:
“This book is dedicated to rising taxes, broken promises, forgotten children, crime, starvation, war, death, and despair.
Thanks for the inspiration, guys. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
Avaritia has a very plain cover (by the author, credited as Mark D. Westbrook), but it turns out that there is a reason for this. The novel is grim and preachy, but fascinating in an Old Testament way. The only anthropomorphic novel that I can think of that’s remotely similar to this is the black comedy Play Little Victims by Kenneth Cook (1978). See my 2014 review of it on Flayrah: https://www.flayrah.com/5725/review-play-little-victims-kenneth-cook
But there is nothing funny about Avaritia. I read Play Little Victims almost forty years ago, and I’ve never forgotten it. I don’t expect to ever forget Avaritia, either.
Avaritia begins in a house with a human father, a mother, and two brothers. The younger brother has three pet rats. The older brother has a bowl of mice, but Older Brother Human only keeps them to feed to his pet snake.
The characters in Avaritia are its mice and rats. The story begins with Older Brother Human lifting Radish, one of the mice, out of the bowl to feed to his boa constrictor while her mate, Cookie, pounds on the glass and squeaks, “Take me! Take me and leave her!”
“Cookie cried uncontrollably, watching as the snake slithered behind his mate.
In a blink, the snake struck. Radish released a final squeak as the constrictor wrapped around her lower abdomen.
‘Noooo!’ Cookie wailed.
Radish opened her mouth, gasping, and beat her tiny paws against the orange and yellow scales, but to no avail. Radish’s once soft pink eyes bulged, now a darker hue of red.
Older Brother Human laughed out loud. ‘Good boy, Petey. Eat ‘er up.’” (p. 2)
Most of the mice accept their eventual doom fatalistically. They have even made it into a religion.
“York turned to the crowd of mouse families. ‘We honor those who make the sacrifice. Another day to eat. Another day to sleep. What a glory to give your all for fellow mice.’” (p. 3)
Only Benny, a young black-furred mouse, has doubts about this fatalism. He is the skeptic who questions everything; the Cassandra whom nobody listens to.
The plot changes drastically on page 7. (Sorry; that’s supposed to be a spoiler.) Younger Brother Human’s three rats get loose – mates Mad and Dolley, and their daughter Moon — cross the hall and liberate the cage-mice (despite mice and rats supposedly having nothing to do with each other), take them to join the mice in the house’s walls, and they all escape together. The humans, who had looked like they would be important in the story, completely disappear.
Many of the mice want to remain close to the humans’ house to raid it for food, but the rats and the leaders of the mice insist they have to get as far away as possible.
“‘Why didn’t we just stay in the walls of the humans’ house?’ asked Cookie. ‘You wall-mice were fine there.’
‘Pib, Fib, and Tib. See those three numbskulls?’ Lint scowled in the direction of three identical mice with bright red fur, currently flirting with one of Cookie’s daughters. The female mouse giggled as the mouse trio literally fought for her attention, yanking at each other’s tails, biting and scratching. […] ‘Those three have dung for brains. They thought it was a good idea to steal from the humans’ food pantry.’
‘And they were caught?’ asked Cookie.
‘No, but Mother Human didn’t have to be a genius to realize it wasn’t raisins in her cereal,’ replied Lint.
A few of the babes, and even the older mice, chuckled at this.
‘You can all laugh, but Father Human talked of poison and traps … and even a cat,’ said Lint in a serious voice.” (pgs. 16-17)
They all settle near “a solid wall of cornstalks, continuing in both directions as far as the eye could see. To the right of the rodents stood a single mighty cottonwood tree.” (p. 18) With the corn for food, the tall cornstalks to hide among, and the plowed soft earth to burrow into, the escapees have found a perfect home. Everyone has all the corn that they can eat.
Instead, it all turns into a nightmare. Avaritia is a Conservative extremist’s parable of what will happen if the Liberals control society, with the rats as the Conservatives and the mice as the Liberals. The rats are hard workers who follow The Old Code. They spend all day climbing the cornstalks to pry corn kernels from the corncobs, but they want to keep what they amass and spend it as they wish. The mice scorn them as greedy and selfish, hoarding their wealth instead of using it to help the community.
It starts out small, when their community is attacked by a much-larger opossum:
“‘We believe,’ announced York [the community’s leader and Benny’s father]. ‘that a defense against the opossum would be feasible. However, it would require time for training, planning, and a vigil watch. This would allow the other mice to work and live in peace. As for payment for these services, these … these defenders will no longer have to work in the field.’
An excited murmur broke out.
[…]
‘Since the defenders will be serving all mice, all mice will contribute a single kernel from each leaf harvested to a pile. This pile will then be divided and shared amongst the defenders.’” (p. 31)
The rats object to participating, but are outvoted by the mice. When some mice become too sick or too old and feeble to harvest their own kernels, the community votes to give them a kernel a day from the pile. The pile is officially named the Kindness Pile, and the mice congratulate themselves on their generosity. The community is dubbed Generocity.
When some mice have more babies than their parents can support, they are allowed to take kernels from the Kindness Pile. That’s what community spirit is all about! When the Kindness Pile shrinks faster than it grows, the mice agree to increase the Kindness donation to two kernels – then three kernels. Generocity should support schools for the mouse babies. Four kernels! As more mice see their daily harvests shrink through these donations, they call in sick so they can eat without working like the genuinely sick. Those relying upon generosity grow more numerous, until one day the Kindness Pile completely disappears. Where has all the corn gone? The selfish rats must be stealing it. Tax the rats especially heavily!!
This review gives away the basic plot. Read Avaritia to find out the fate of the mice, of the rats — of Generocity. And what Avaritia means.
The details aren’t pretty. Little Benny is the Everymouse who witnesses it all, and plays an important part at the climax. Whether you agree with the moral philosophy or not, Westbrook tells a compelling tale in short, easy-to-read chapters.
The price on the book is $9.99, but Amazon says it’s $5.99 without any discounts. The Kindle is even cheaper.
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The Mouse That Legislated
Qvisten bill themselves as the largest animation studio in Scandinavia. Among their recent productions is a feature film called HuckyBucky (aka Dyrene i Hakkebakkeskogen), directed by Rasmus A. Sivertsen and based on a book by Thorbjørn Egner. The description on IMDB reads like this: “In the woods there lives a mouse and his friends, and they are always scared of getting eaten by the fox or other predators who can’t get food in a fair way. They have to make some laws so they all can live together in peace.” No word yet on a possible release in North America, but there is a subtitled trailer up on YouTube.
image c. 2017 Qvisten
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FA 080 First Times - Is transparency good? Are first times always bad? Are clingy exes the norm? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Hello Everyone!
On this week's show we open with a discussion video games and employment. Recent studies show that more young men than ever before are playing video games rather than seeking employment. Does this make us unhappy, and what lessons can we learn from all of this?
Our main topic is on First Times. Continuing our summer of conversation and introspection we discuss our first times and how they went great (but, really, how awful they were). We also give some advice on what the best practices are for a positive first time experience. Part whimsical, part sentimental, and entirely too much information, it promises to be a a fun trip down memory lane.
We close out the show with some feedback on murrsuit care as well as two questions-- one on how to break up with a clingy past relationship partner who refuses to dampen the flame of their desire for you, the other on how to get started in the fandom and whether female murrsuiters exist.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well!
FA 080 First Times - Is transparency good? Are first times always bad? Are clingy exes the norm? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!Vice News and furries, the Fullerton murder story, and “sensational media”.
Vice’s Furries topic has excellent news reporting. You can find a few missteps, but it has some of the best focused attention that the media has ever given to the fandom, way beyond Furries 101. One outstanding article is CSI Fur Fest: The Unsolved Case of the Gas Attack at a Furry Convention. Writer Jennifer Swann got an Ursa Major award nomination for it. Their most recent is Who Makes Those Intricate, Expensive Furry Suits? (Fred Patten and myself were proud to assist writer Mark Hay – I sent a long summary of history, makers, details to investigate, and links.)
Super thanks to @GoraLadka for consulting @phoenixwuff, me, @furbuy for this fabulous #fursuit article! @Spottacus https://t.co/0EjnvcMwg3
— Dogpatch Press (@DogpatchPress) July 28, 2017Those show that not all media is bad, and talking to them has good results. That’s different from prevailing attitudes against “sensationalism” that blindly treats “the media” as an epithet – as if PBS is the same as the National Enquirer. There’s a world of difference between trashy daytime TV and well-researched long-form reporting. But a fandom grudge persists, for as long as 16 years after stale old incidents we all know and hate. There’s even backlash at members who step out of line. This friend of ours experienced it:
That’s too bad for Ursa-nominated Jennifer Swann, who’s working on a Vice piece about the Fullerton murders to cover upcoming news about the trial.
And for Sanjiv Bhattacharya, who made effort to learn about how the fandom was dealing with the Fullerton tragedy while he writes an article for The Atlantic. This article he wrote about a school shooting proves what worthy service he could be doing.
If you can help Vice cover the Fullerton story, please send a confidential contact to patch.ofurr@gmail.com that will be passed to Jennifer Swann. (Sanjiv’s contacts are in his link.) Trial news is coming, and there are a lot of unanswered questions. The hope is for a story that everyone can learn from.
Some further opinions:
For those concerned about “fandom image”, a smart idea is to pick good, careful reporters to work with. Refusing to talk is reasonable for stories that don’t exist unless the media makes them. But I don’t think that’s the case with this murder story. It will get attention no matter what, and it’s a community happening with undeniable furry connection. (There would have been no crime if the participants weren’t closely tied through fandom – akin to a tragedy at a school or workplace). Rumors and false beliefs about it can get dismantled with careful reporting, but they grow worse without it. I think it’s self-defeating to assume “the media” in general has bad faith.
From a topic started by Dogpatch Press staffer David.
Journalist work involves fact finding. Like in a court, there’s a process of putting evidence itself on trial. There can be many versions of a story that need a pro to investigate. Kind of like lawyers, journalists are liable to get treated like they’re always wrong – until a person needs one on their side. Good reporting can make sympathy, abate rumors, or aid a cause like fund raising for the kids in this story. Free press is even essential to democracy. It’s about government (that’s what law and justice is.)
It all relates to telling a shocking story, which isn’t the same as being “sensational”. If anti-intellectual attitude shuts down reporting it, next time something bad happens, then ask “how could we have seen this coming? Why us? How can we stop this?” And the answers were there, but nothing was learned because image was too important. Or worse – nobody even bothers thinking about it because it has “nothing to do with us”.
It’s easier to forget the whole thing. But there are those close to this story who will never forget. Understanding for them can come through understanding by us.
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That Spaceship Looks Like A Banana!
Here’s another one that somehow flew over the moon yet under our radar for some time. Rocket Monkeys was a 2D animated series from Canada (they get SO many interesting shows up there!) created by Dan Abdo and Jason Patterson. According to Wikipedia, “Brothers Gus and Wally are monkey astronauts. They’re not the brightest or coolest astronauts, but since they’re the only ones around, they are called upon to go into space and carry out different kinds of important missions—including battling rogue black holes and vengeful aliens. Other members of the brothers’ crew include bossy astrophysicist Dr. Chimpsky, who gives the monkeys their assignments; YAY-OK, a devoted robot that is slightly outdated and is the brothers’ only hope to help keep them on course; and Inky, a space octopus and artist who communicates through his ink drawings.” Looks as if the show ended it’s run in the US back in 2016. Fortunately, lots of episodes are still up and about on YouTube.
image c. 2017 Atomic Cartoons
Ep 171 - Gayzer Tag - WE WILL BE DOING A YouTube LIVESTREAM FRIDAY at 8…
WE WILL BE DOING A YouTube LIVESTREAM FRIDAY at 8pm!!! STAY TUNED! OH HEY, WE HAVE A WEBSITE NOW TOO www.thedraggetshow.com Patreons will get episodes first right after recording. Just a buck gets you early access and a downloadable mp3 file! www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow Serathin's amazing Dragget Show story! - docs.google.com/document/d/1AYkJR…y8RCsCK0NjEw/edit ALSO, we're not just on SoundCloud, you can also subscribe to this on most podcast services like iTunes! Ep 171 - Gayzer Tag - WE WILL BE DOING A YouTube LIVESTREAM FRIDAY at 8…
Furry Fursuitmaker
Garbage Night, by Jen Lee. – Book Review by Fred Patten.
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer
Garbage Night, by Jen Lee. Illustrated.
London, NYC, Nobrow Ltd., June 2017, hardcover $18.95 (98 pages).
Garbage Night is #2 in Lee’s Vacancy series; what Amazon calls “dystopian graphic novels”. Vacancy, #1 in the series, was published in June 2015. But Garbage Night the book includes the complete Vacancy as a bonus. Garbage Night itself is 70 pages, followed immediately by “Now read Jen Lee’s original comic, Vacancy” for 26 more pages. You should skip directly to Vacancy, read it first, then return to the beginning of Garbage Night. Be warned that it still ends with a “to be continued”.
What is going on is unexplained. The blurb for the first story says, “Vacancy explores the ways that animals think; how they internalize their changing environment and express their thoughts, fears, or excitement.” The blurb for Garbage Night says, “Juvenile animals strive to survive across a post-apocalyptic wasteland in this striking parable about the nature of freedom and friendship.” What it is is about anthropomorphic animals (they wear clothes and are bipedal) living in a deserted, humanless world.
Simon is a pet watchdog left behind when his humans disappeared. But it is obvious that what’s happened is more complex than that. The entire town shows years of having been deserted. Signs are peeling, windows are broken, cloth is rotting, roofs are falling in. Simon roams through his owners’ empty house, wishing that they’d return to fil his food bowl, but not really believing it after so long. What remains of the town has been scavenged out of food by the abandoned pets and nearby wildlife like Monica the opossum. When two forest animals pass through town – Cliff, a raccoon, and Reynard, a deer with a broken antler – Simon asks to go with them. “I need someone to show me the ropes of the wild.”
In Vacancy four hungry coyotes (also anthropomorphized) chase them back into town again. In Garbage Night the three team up with Barnaby, another dog looking for another town that is rumored to still have humans and their food.
“We were just talking yesterday, in fact, about how we’re gonna leave for that … other town! The one with all the things!”
“Fallbridge?”
“Um, yeah!”
“Ha, me too. Yeah, it’s supposed to have everything. Why don’t we go together? I know a short cut.”
At the end of Garbage Night (named for the long-gone night once a week when the humans used to set big cans of edible garbage out to be picked up), Simon, Cliff, and Reynard are on the outskirts of the semi-mythical Fallbridge. Their reactions to Barnaby, and what happened to him, are part of the story. To be continued.
Jen Lee is also the author of the semi-animated webcomic Thunderpaw in the Ashes of Fire Mountain, http://thunderpaw.co/ (Warning: it contains the same kind of flashing lights that sent almost 700 Japanese children watching Pokémon too close to the TV (almost with nose prints on the TV screen) to the hospital with mild epilectic seizures in December 1997.) Garbage Night gives her a more varied palette, even if her colors are all muted. Compare the shifting lighting from the daytime scenes on pages 22-23 to the greens within the forest on pages 38-39, the evening scenes on pages 48-49, and the full night on pages 68-69. Look at how she indicates rising or falling voices, or characters talking over each other, by her use of speech balloons; or different characters talking in the same panel by different colored balloons on pages 86-87. Subtle stuff. I want to see Vacancy #3.
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TigerTails Radio Season 10 Episode 35
How to Be Cool and Play Off that Furry Porn You Forgot Was on Your Phone
@SpotlessEnvy saw my Onion-style headline and suggested writing the article. I asked if they wanted to try it as a guest post. Here it is, with the extra fabulous bonus of illustrations made by Spotless. Check them out for art commissions. – Patch
Unfortunately, it’s a common awkward moment in the day of the smartphone. You hand your phone to a friend, family member, coworker, etc. to show them your vacation photos, the 87 pictures of your dog you took this morning, 2007’s embarrassing Halloween costume or the like, and despite your pleading scream of, “Don’t swipe!” they swipe. In the fandom, what’s the worst thing for them to find on your phone?
How to Be Cool and Play Off that Furry Porn You Forgot Was on Your Phone:
1. I got this phone on Craigslist
Hey, buying gently used electronics off Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, and the like is fairly common these days. Just explain that you didn’t think to clear the memory before using it. “Don’t worry Mom, I’m not a sexual deviant; the person I bought the phone from was!”
2. My roommates/friends like to play obscure jokes
Live in a dorm or apartment with other people? Hang out with friends regularly? If you answered yes to either of these questions, congratulations! You have a scapegoat. “Dang, Jimmy must have messed with my phone while I was in the bathroom. What a stinker!”
3. I’m doing a presentation on current art trends
You could easily swap out art trends for viral marketing or some other topic. Explain that you were researching for a presentation and needed pictures for the slides. “Y’know Carl, you’d never believe how profitable this stuff is. I’m sure Professor Smith’s never seen this topic before!”
4. There’s this obscure virus going around…
There’s all kinds of strange forms of malware and viruses on the net. Who’s to say there isn’t one that instantly downloads 16 gigabytes of suggestive pictures of dog-people onto your phone? “Oh no! Looks like I’ve been hit with the E621 virus!”
5. I share my GoogleDrive with a friend
Or other cloud-storage service. “Look Sarah, we both know Harry is into some weird stuff. My fault for sharing the cloud with him I guess.”
6. Just own up to it
Listen, furries are becoming more and more mainstream. Just go ahead and say it; usually the person will appreciate the honesty. If they’re close enough to you, they probably won’t care that you moonlight as a giant fuzzy husky/dragon hybrid who’s into bondage or what have you.
Pro Tip: if you decide on using one of the first five options, it might be best to have those files stored elsewhere. Don’t wanna lose good quality porn!
(Note: the suiters pictured are anotheredgydog [white dog] and theshoujoprince [blue/tan dog])
– SpotlessEnvy (Check out their art!)
OH WOW doing a super sale for some Megaplex money!! RT appreciated!!@BuySFWFurryArt @payforfurryart @BuySFWFurryArt @furrycommission pic.twitter.com/CubgGhGIx4
— SpotlessEnvy (@SpotlessEnvyArt) July 28, 2017Put A Pug In Your Life
And another studio making the rounds again. This time from France. We learned about TeamTO in 2014 thanks to their feature film Yellowbird. Now they’re back with a television and on-line project that’s getting a lot of press, called Take It Easy Mike. “Described by TeamTO as ‘Tom & Jerry meets silly pet videos’, it turns on Mike, a refined pug with boundless energy and sophisticated tastes who’s dead-set on seducing the neighbor’s lovely dog Cindy. But his best laid plans go awry – thanks to the inopportune appearances of a bunch of trouble-makers: Freddy and Mercury, raccoons; Fluffy the cutest kitten; and a turtle trio – all causing unforeseen twists and turns.” But that’s not the reason this no-dialogue project is turning heads. “…One of the show’s stars – and what really sets it apart and has certainly got TV networks and TeamTO excited – is its photo-realism, fruit of TeamTO’s decade-long push to improve the quality, costs and speed of its physical animation.” Could not find any footage on line though, so it seems as if we’ll have to wait ’till 2018 to see what it’s like.
Image c. 2017 TeamTO
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Growing Up Is Hard To Do
Mexico’s Anima Estudio have been mentioned around here before, most recently for their upcoming animated feature based on the 1960’s TV animation oddity Here Comes the Grump. In the meantime, they’ve completed work on another CGI feature called Monster Island, set to be released soon direct to DVD. “When Lucas finds out he is not really a human, but actually a monster, the news changes his whole world! Embarking on a quest to Monster Island to discover his real roots, Lucas undergoes a journey he will never forget. He finds himself face to face with more tentacles, fangs and far-out situations than he can shake one of his new wings at. Ultimately Lucas learns that being a freak, isn’t freaky — it means you’re a member of a brand new type of family that you can proudly call your own.” The film is directed by Leopoldo Aguilar, and it features the voices of Fiona Hardingham, Katie Leigh (Gummi Bears), Jenifer Kaplan, Erik Larsen, and Michael Robles. Amazon says to look for it this September.
image c. 2017 Anima Estudio
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World, by Shannon and Dean Hale – review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World, by Shannon Hale & Dean Hale. Illustrated by Bruno Mangyoku.
NYC, Marvel Press, February 2017, hardcover $13.99 (324 [+ 1] pages), Kindle $9.99.
The Marvel Comics Group is having hardcover novelizations written of most of its high-profile super-heroes such as Iron Man, for the 9-to-12 age group. Marvel does not go in for animal heroes, so the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl and her 300 squirrels are about the only ones who would qualify for interest to furry fans. New York Times bestselling author Shannon Hale specializes in romantic novels for adolescent girls and young women, many in collaboration with her husband, Dean Hale.
This novel recounts the beginning of Squirrel Girl’s career, written in a breezy teenager’s diary style. The comic book stories began in 1991 with her as a 21-year-old college student, but here 14-year-old Doreen Green has just moved with her parents from Southern California to Shady Oaks, New Jersey. “Who runs the world? Squirrels!” Doreen may be prejudiced because she was born with a bushy squirrel’s tail. Otherwise she looks like any young teenage girl, except that she’s super-strong and has retractable claws and “her two front teeth were a little longer than their neighbors. She had to gnaw on things to keep them from getting even longer. Things like logs.” (p. 2) Maple logs are her favorite.
No reason is given for her having a squirrel’s tail, but Hey! this is the Marvel Universe. Doreen used to see She-Hulk while she lived in Los Angeles, and now she’s looking forward to seeing Thor and the other Avengers who live in nearby New York City.
Doreen is hiding her tail in her pants because a 9th-grader with a bushy tail would look kind of freaky*. She left all her old friends, human and squirrel, back in L.A. and she’s looking forward to making new ones. The human teenagers in Shady Oaks are a bit standoffish, but when Doreen climbs a tree in a city park, she runs into a squirrel being squeezed to death in “some kind of weird squirrel death trap.” She frees the squirrel, who runs off.
The squirrel is Tippy-Toe, and that’s how she and Doreen meet. Tippy-Toe and Doreen’s mother Maureen are the only other characters from the Marvel comic book; everyone else is original for this novel. So it doesn’t duplicate from the comic books, just in case you’re familiar with Squirrel Girl’s career. Chapters narrated by Tippy-Toe are in the first person and are slightly more mature. Tippy-Toe acknowledges that the human girl saved her life, she follows her to her human nest, and at night they talk together in the squirrel’s language of Chitterspeak. Doreen gives Tippy-Toe a pink ribbon to wear around her neck. Tippy-Toe is her first friend.
Photo by Elle Collins, Townsquare Media
At Union Junior High, Doreen is frozen out by the girls’ cliques. Her first human BFF is Ana Sofia Arcos Romero, another loner because she’s Hispanic and almost totally deaf. Doreen knows Ameslan, American Sign Language because she has a Canadian cousin who’s deaf, so she and Ana Sofia have long conversations in sign language. This just gets them a reputation as being super-weird with the other kids.
Doreen’s first outings as a super-hero (I’d say super-heroine, but apparently that’s sexist) are at night away from street lights. She puts trash back in garbage cans that juvenile delinquents have tipped over, and cleans up graffiti, taking advantage of the dark to let her tail out of her pants and to use her super-strength to leap away or up into a tree to escape notice. She gets a reputation as the Jersey Ghost. Only Ana Sofia and the squirrels know her secret.
Tippy-Toe takes Doreen as a role model and decides to become a hero for the squirrels. They can use one, because whoever set out that squeeze-to-death cage that caught her sets out a lot more, marked MM, for both tree squirrels and ground squirrels. Other tree squirrels include Little Candy Creeper, Fuzz Fountain Cortez, Bear Bodkin, Bubo Nic, and W. Scummerset Maugham, while the ground squirrels have names like Big Daddy Spud, Miranda Creepsforth, Puffin Furslide, and Pug Muffintop. (There are two pages of squirrel names like Suzie Skunkkiller and Henry Hexapod, and I’m not going to quote them all.)
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World is almost halfway through before the plot picks up speed. Doreen gets her Squirrel Girl secret identity. She foils a carjacking, and rescues an endangered baby. She rescues two endangered babies (sort of):
“Ana Sofia [texting]: Good I know ur grounded but a balloon got loose
Doreen: You really need to tie those things to your wrist
Ana Sofia: No srsly I was sleuthing near the burger frog grand opening. A hot air balloon got untethered and is floating away. A man and woman are screaming that their baby is on the balloon” (p. 131)
And she gains her first super-foe; whoever is saturating Shady Oaks with those MM death traps for squirrels. Okay, he’s only a minor super-villain, but she’s only 14 years old. And he is trying to kill her.
There are guest appearances by the Avengers, and even Rocket from the Guardians of the Galaxy turns up for four pages toward the end. Squirrel Girl and Ana Sofia take care of the human side of things, and Tippy-Toe leads the 300 squirrels:
“‘This is where we hold them,’ I shouted. ‘On this abandoned field, this is where we fight! Whether we crush them by acorn or shred them by claw! Remember this day, squirrels, for it will be yours for all time!’
‘CHK-CHA!’ the army responded.
‘Squirrels, what is your profession?’
‘NUTS AND DEATH!’ came the reply.
‘This day we rescue an ignorant world from destruction!’ I said. ‘We protect a world that would call us vermin! Why do we do this? Because we are mighty! Because we are valiant! BECAUSE WE ARE SQUIRRELS!’” (pgs. 288-289)
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World (cover by Bruno Mangyoku) isn’t really illustrated. Mangyoku, a French commercial artist, has done the front and back covers, the endpapers, and one page of Tippy-Toe demonstrating nine martial-arts poses. That’s all.
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Book 2, also by the Hales, will be published in March 2018.
*Fortunately, a squirrel’s tail is flexible and mostly air, and it folds up inside pants really easily, although it does make Doreen look like she has a big butt. Squirrel Meets World has over a hundred footnotes like this.
Photo by Elle Collins, Townsquare Media
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