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Hey guys! Just catching up on posting audio of the live Youtube streams we have had in the past couple weeks. A brand new in studio episode is right around the corner. Our Patreon! www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow Telegram Chat: t.me/draggetshow ep. 180 - Impromtu Nappa Valley Stream - Hey guys! Just catching up on posting audio of th…

Hey guys! Just catching up on posting audio of the live Youtube streams we have had in the past couple weeks. A brand new in studio episode is right around the corner. Our Patreon! www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow Telegram Chat: t.me/draggetshow ep. 179 - Impromptu Stream at Pawcon 2017 - Hey guys! Just catching up on posting audio of th…

Hey guys! Just catching up on posting audio of the live Youtube streams we have had in the past couple weeks. A brand new in studio episode is right around the corner. Our Patreon! www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow Telegram Chat: t.me/draggetshow ep. 178 - Halloween Stream 2017 - Hey guys! Just catching up on posting audio of t…

Submitted by guest writer Duncan R. Piasecki – don’t miss his amazing previous article, The Forgotten History of the Furry Musical.

South Afrifur logo – see a con report.

Of all the things you’d expect a country in Africa to have in common with whatever first-world place you’re reading this in, I bet nowhere on that list was CGI animation studios. But it’s true, for better or for worse, and (un?)luckily for all of us, all the major CGI films produced by this country fall into the talking animal genre. Furry appeal, it’s an international thing!

Preface: important things that will colour how you understand the rest of the article

Before we get too deep into this, some context is important to understand the nature of this country.

First and foremost, you need to understand something of the way that stories are told here. This is mostly about books, but it speaks to the way film and television are made here as well. We like to fool ourselves into thinking we’re cosmopolitan, but we’re really, really not. We’ve fallen a long way since JRR Tolkien moved away from here. Fictive literature here can be mostly divided into two categories: classic and modern. Classics are largely about sociopolitical concerns (most famous is probably Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton – most likely you’d know it from the 1995 film adaptation starring James Earl Jones, if you knew it at all). Modern however… well. Publishers down here tend to want you to write stories with an African bent all the time. In theory, it leads to more Afrocentric storytelling, but in practice, if you go look under general fiction, everything is either just described as “X, but in Africa!” or just a rip-off of whatever the Americans are doing. Not all books, of course, but certainly enough that you wouldn’t even be able to find the local fiction that’s not like this in most stores. For example, a big hit here a few years ago was Spud by John van de Ruit, which is basically “Adrian Mole, but in Africa!“. On the other side of the coin are writers like Wilbur Smith, who writes what look like fairly cheesy adventure/thrillers generally. As a writer myself, who falls under the oft-confusing literary movement of postmodernism, it is beyond frustrating and annoying to see, and there is no way I’d ever be published by anyone down here as a result of these weird stipulations (hooray for self-publishing).

Second, there’s actually a big deal made about local things. Like, it’s pushed on us all the time. We have government-funded branding about promoting locally-produced items. It’s your patriotic duty to support local things, or something. It’s not always a mindset, but it’s something you do see a lot, where people pour money into rubbish just because it’s made by some local hack, rather than a foreign import of better quality or whatever.

Third, you must understand that I… don’t usually have the highest regard or opinion of this country or what it does, having lived here for my whole life to date, so there is a bit of potential bias in my opinions, but I’m trying to approach all of this objectively from an international perspective.

Finally, two languages are mentioned in the article: Afrikaans and Zulu. Afrikaans is a local offshoot of Dutch, with elements of other languages, and is spoken by about 13-14% of the population, and is the country’s third most widely spoken language at a native level. It’s fairly similar to Dutch, bar a few vocabulary differences, and if you can speak one, you can understand a lot of the other, and could communicate with each other. Zulu, on the other hand, is a native African language, the most common in the country, spoken by 22% of the population, mostly by the ethnic group of the same name. They were formed by King Shaka in the early 1800s, and are a very large group across the Southern African region today, with about 11 million people. The language is… really dense and hard to describe, based around a lot of contextual conjugation of words – there are at least 15 rules per each type of conjugation – be it pluralization, diminutization, or whatever, and they’re all based around the letters that start a word off. It’s not an easy language to wrap your head around, and it’s quite busy, as you’ll hear later on. English, on the other hand, is spoken as a first language by less than 10% of the population, and is fourth (second, for those keeping count, is Xhosa, another ethnic group and language, and about 16% spread). The country has 12 official languages, including newly-officialized South African Sign Language.

Well, enough of that. Let’s get to the fuzzy part of the discussion.

Joke of the bushveld

The country has a few classic pieces of literature, most of them of a sociopolitical nature, but undoubtedly one of the books that is most loved by almost everyone here is Jock of the Bushveld, a biographical novel by Sir Percy FitzPatrick, about his travels around the northern part of the country in the 1880s, with his Staffordshire cross dog (bushveld, for those asking, is basically a type of scrubland found in various southern areas on the continent). The book was initially published in 1907, and has never been out of print (though modern editions are slightly abridged, omitting at least one chapter of background information deemed unnecessary by today’s standards). It’s the source of a lot of tourist attractions and whatnot. As you can tell, there are no major anthropomorphic elements per se (i.e. it’s not a talking animal novel), but we’ll get to the connection in a bit. It’s basically an adventure slash dead dog book, so you have a pretty good idea of what you’re in for. There isn’t really a cohesive storyline to the book, it’s episodic tales of adventures on hunts and whatnot.

Naturally, something as popular as that, especially since it’s appealing to the children (the stories were originally told by FitzPatrick to his children, who insisted he wrote them down), but that’s getting ahead of ourselves a little. The book was actually adapted twice as a live-action film: once in 1986, considered the better adaptation for being more accurate, and again in 1995, albeit more thematically toned-down and less well-regarded as a result. There was also a musical. But no, none of that is what we’re here to talk about. Ho boy, unfortunately for us, the furry element is where it starts to get bad (furries make everything worse, amirite?).

Back in 2007, director Duncan MacNeillie (unfortunately named, ugh) had a vision: South Africa, despite having a long-running and quite successful film industry (albeit a bloody awful one, if I have to be honest – mostly painful adaptations of even more painful classic local books, or yet another film by Leon Schuster, our equivalent of Adam Sandler – ’nuff said), and having done animation in the past, though never CGI. MacNeillie wanted to change that. So the race was on! He acquired the rights to Jock of the Bushveld, his first choice after he produced the first and also wrote and co-directed the second live-action adaptation. He set about with a small team of twenty-five, and got to adapting the novel as something even more palatable and safe than the last times he did it – a talking animal story along the lines of what the Americans were doing all the time. This would be a serious statement for local talent, and set the standard against which everything else would be measured, he hoped.

It took about three years to produce, and they found themselves going up against a bigger group, Triggerfish Animation, who were also determined to make local CGI animation (we’ll get to them in a bit). MacNeillie wanted to be first, and, by all accounts, it would seem his focus shifted, production rushed forward while the director set about focusing on branding deals and whatnot. Some of the production team felt that this shift in focus had a negative impact. He managed to sell the whole thing to the international markets by getting Western star power (Bryan Adams, Donald Sutherland, Ted Danson, Helen Hunt, one of the Baldwins… Tim frigging Rice penning some songs). Branding flew left and right, and halfway through production there was a decision to release it in 3D as well, which I’m sure had an impact that you’ll discover soon enough.

The people of South Africa waited, seemingly excited at the prospect. The foreigners working on it were too, because they could have an opportunity to have an in on an African first (and I believe Tim Rice was just in because he was related to someone working on the project, and partly because he probably figured it’d be another Lion King, albeit by actual Africans this time).

Well, that excitement lasted until the movie hit in 2011. Without further comment, here’s the trailer:

Yes, it was bloody awful. The local reviews ravaged it, calling it a massive desecration of a classic text that totally missed the point by Disney-ifying it all up, and the 3D was apparently eye-bleeding (and, as I’m sure we can all guess, probably negatively impacted everything else by adding unnecessary production time that took away from time to do other things), but the public still poured money into it… you know, typical lowest common denominator movie stuff.

But I don’t think this trailer captures it well enough. It was bad. I mean bad. Like, I’ve probably seen several hundred animated films, and I watched Foodfight! despite being warned several times not to, and that only marginally beat this as being the worst animated film I’ve watched bad (though I suspect if I ever lose my mind for the 40 minutes required that Ratatoing would beat that). Uncanny valley, unfinished looking, absolutely terrible songs I can’t believe Tim Rice penned, phoned-in performances, a plot that’s barely there (I don’t think I can really tell you what happened in it, honestly – something about gambling and a conflict with a baboon, sorta an “and then” story, if you will), you name it, it had it.

Maybe I’m just being harsh, and nobody knew how to make a movie or animate properly, but a lot of it just feels like a soulless cash and fame grab, especially with the rush to be first and all the marketing deals. You couldn’t move for merchandising for about a month before and after it came out. Everyone had their own cheap tie-in to sell to the kiddies (I cringe every time I go into a DVD shop down here and see that word plastered above the animated film section).

I guess that rushing to be the first really paid off, eh guys? But hey, at least you won the race and came first. Congratulations, it was worth it.

The film later got sold to foreigners as Jock the Hero Dog (because who the hell out there knows what bushveld is, or even how to pronounce it?) where it enjoyed slightly more critical success, but wasn’t exactly a hit from what I can tell. You can buy it on Blu-Ray in the USA though (only DVD here as far as I know)… if you’re brave. Or on iTunes, Google Play and/or Netflix in some regions.

There was also apparently a sequel or something by the same director, called Little Jock’s African Adventures, but I’ve only seen it on DVD, doubt it was ever broadcast anywhere, can’t find out anything about it really (I think we all just want to forget any of this happened), and am not wasting the dollar or two it’d take to buy and find out more. All I can say for sure is: it’s cheap cell-shaded stuff. It’s actually amazing that I can’t find out more than that… though I guess that speaks to the quality.

Literally all I can find about that is this:

The text on the back says this:

The classic book, Jock of the Bushveld, written by Sir Percy Fitzpatrick is the inspiration behind MacNeillie’s follow up to the animated feature. This is Little Jock’s adventures, a children’s story focussing on the puppy and the animals he meets.

Harry, Jock’s sidekick, has magical qualities which get them out of trouble as they venture through the wilds. Martha, the baboon, is set on stealing whatever ideas she can to assist in her mission to rule the world.

But everyone will soon know that our hero, little Jock, is brave, loyal and adventurous.

Are we totally sure this wasn’t all just a money laundering or Ponzi scheme like Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return was?

Victoria Falls (on her face)

Triggerfish was up next, and they were a real genuine bona fide animation studio this time, we promise, and one that didn’t go boom after their first film was done. They lost out being the first by nearly a year, with their first feature Zambezia (or Adventures in Zambezia, as it was called in some places) releasing in 2012.

The story follows Kai, a falcon who decides that he wants to live in the Great Tree- er, I mean, the bird-city of Zambezia, sitting atop Victoria Falls, where he wants to join the guard and protect them against threats and whatnot, and deal with a lizard that kidnapped his father. If that sounds pretty much exactly like Legend of the Guardians, you’re right, though I also found it copied quite liberally from Valiant (holy crap, does anyone else remember that movie?), what with the comic relief character Eezee being pretty much exactly the same as Bugsy. Plus, this came out merely a year after Rio, which would lead to comparisons between the two. It’s like how Surf’s Up was always compared to Happy Feet, because both are about penguins and came out within a year of each other, despite them not really having a lot in common beyond that. Here’s the trailer.

So… my opinion is: it’s absolutely pedestrian, as animated films go, even with people like Leonard Nimoy(!) and Samuel L. Jackson in the cast. Now don’t get me wrong, I can enjoy a stereotypical animated film more than it perhaps should be enjoyed, if it does a damn fine job of being absolutely charming, but I was bored throughout this – the story was just going through the paces, checking all the boxes, and never particularly exciting or interesting. Plus the animation is bad by 2012 standards, which isn’t always a problem for me, but compare the flying scenes of this to, say, the flight in the storm or the flight through the flames in Legend of the Guardians, and you’ll see why it’s a problem, especially since the ripping off is pretty blatant.

Reception all around was mixed-to-negative. What’s interesting to me is that, as a local, I didn’t even notice when it got released. I think almost no fuss was made about it being released, just a few reviews here and there saying it’s not that bad, but no Pixar. Is it possible that people were burned after how bad Jock was? Hard to say, but I think I only heard about it in 2013, when trailers for Khumba were touting “from the makers of Zambezia” (more on that one in a bit). It would seem nobody really cared, but it still made a profit, mostly because the budget is quite low ($20m) and nobody in the country has anywhere near as much money as the big American studios.

There was one actually great thing about it though: the birds themselves. Sure, they weren’t particularly well-animated, but, from what I can tell, all of them are actual, real species of birds found in Africa, and a lot more accurate than other animated films (Zazu, for example, looks nothing like a real red-billed hornbill, but these birds actually look pretty much exactly like their real counterparts). The villains are marabou storks, for example, and it’s actually a clever choice that showed a flash of insight, when you read about how foul they actually are, plus I’m a bit biased against them after having been chased by one at a game reserve once – thing’s damn near as tall as I am.

Look at this ugly thing. THAT is a marabou stork. It’s also about 153cm/60 inches tall. They eat meat too rancid even for vultures, and have the temperament of the crusty old men that they look like. Photo from Wikipedia.

Seeing them, knowing that there would be no other animated film that would have such species, kept me from passing out completely. Details like that show care and interest in putting something good out, I just wish the rest of it had as much passion. Still, that’s why I have great respect for animators and artists specifically on any CGI projects – even if they’re doing something awful, most of them at least try to make visual appeal with what they’ve got.

Again, you can apparently get it on Blu-Ray, iTunes and Google Play in the USA under the Adventures in Zambezia international title, or just watch it on Netflix.

To be continued…

So nice, you’ll come back twice? I hope so. The story’s only half-finished now, and I decided to split this in half for the sake of ease of writing, otherwise you’d have about 5500 words to deal with all at once.

Next time on Dogpatch Press: we go into the third and final (to date) CGI film, and then we talk about the localization of international talking animal films, including one that pretty much every one of us crazy animal people loves.

See you all again soon. – Duncan R. Piasecki

Like the article? It takes a lot of effort to share these. Please consider supporting Dogpatch Press on Patreon.  You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, or get Con*Tact Caffeine Soap as a reward.  They’re a popular furry business seen in dealer dens. Be an extra-perky patron – or just order direct from Con*Tact.

Big show! We review and discuss the film Pottersville as BoozyBadger calls in to continue questioning his life choices. Fayroe discusses some behind the scenes info from his experience acting in the film, then we continue with a usual packed show of news and emails.

Download MP3

Watch Video Link Roundup:

• Nekojishi on Steam
• Furry Nights – 2016 Horror Film

News:

• Northwest Premier Forgets Furlandias History
• Having a Dog May add Years to your life
• US Navy: Penis in sky drawn by jet trail was ‘unacceptable’
• This 6-Foot-5-Inch Teddy Bear Is All Legs And It’s Freaking People Out
• Detroit cops posing as drug dealers tried to arrest Detroit cops posing as drug buyers
• Sausage-Roll Jesus Stirs Up An Early Christmas Controversy
• Cards Against Humanity Trumps Wall

Emails:

• Trainer Red – How to find friends that are furry?
• Mizi – first time caller, long time listener

FC-285 Legs For Days - Big show! We review and discuss the film Pottersville as BoozyBadger calls in to continue questioning his life choices. Fayroe discusses some behind the scenes info from his experience acting in the film, then we continue with a usual packed show of ne...

Big show! We review and discuss the film Pottersville as BoozyBadger calls in to continue questioning his life choices. Fayroe discusses some behind the scenes info from his experience acting in the film, then we continue with a usual packed show of news and emails.

Download MP3

Watch Video Link Roundup:

• Nekojishi on Steam
• Furry Nights – 2016 Horror Film

News:

• Northwest Premier Forgets Furlandias History
• Having a Dog May add Years to your life
• US Navy: Penis in sky drawn by jet trail was ‘unacceptable’
• This 6-Foot-5-Inch Teddy Bear Is All Legs And It’s Freaking People Out
• Detroit cops posing as drug dealers tried to arrest Detroit cops posing as drug buyers
• Sausage-Roll Jesus Stirs Up An Early Christmas Controversy
• Cards Against Humanity Trumps Wall

Emails:

• Trainer Red – How to find friends that are furry?
• Mizi – first time caller, long time listener

FC-285 Legs For Days - Big show! We review and discuss the film Pottersville as BoozyBadger calls in to continue questioning his life choices. Fayroe discusses some behind the scenes info from his experience acting in the film, then we continue with a usual packed show of ne...

Big show! We review and discuss the film Pottersville as BoozyBadger calls in to continue questioning his life choices. Fayroe discusses some behind the scenes info from his experience acting in the film, then we continue with a usual packed show of news and emails.

Download MP3

Link Roundup:

• Nekojishi on Steam
• Furry Nights – 2016 Horror Film

News:

• Northwest Premier Forgets Furlandias History
• Having a Dog May add Years to your life
• US Navy: Penis in sky drawn by jet trail was ‘unacceptable’
• This 6-Foot-5-Inch Teddy Bear Is All Legs And It’s Freaking People Out
• Detroit cops posing as drug dealers tried to arrest Detroit cops posing as drug buyers
• Sausage-Roll Jesus Stirs Up An Early Christmas Controversy
• Cards Against Humanity Trumps Wall

Emails:

• Trainer Red – How to find friends that are furry?
• Mizi – first time caller, long time listener

[Live] Legs For Days

Recently, we learned about a new 3D virtual reality film in the works called Rainbow Crow from Baobab Studios. The idea is to make a short film where the viewer can step into a different world and interact with animal characters as they tell you a story. In this case, it’s a Native American legend about how the crow saved his fellow animals from a harsh winter frost — and in so doing, gained his famously black feathers. Directed by Eric Darnell from Dreamworks (Antz, Madagascar), Rainbow Crow stars the voices of singer John Legend, Diego Luna, Constance Wu, and Randy Edmonds. A short preview film (about 4 minutes of the final 40) made the rounds recently at Tribeca and other film festivals. Road To VR has an article about the production of the film.

image c. 2017 Baobab Studios

Hello there, 

​I'm writing this today as I have no else to turn to for advice, no one that will listen at any rate.

Despite my best intentions, I have ended up stuck between a rock and a hard place. I work about 12 hours a week in a part time job and am constantly told I am being lazy. The truth is that this is the only job I have ever been good at, but my family tells me constantly to leave and go for anything else... Believe me, I checked, and they haven't, there is nothing else around here job wise.

If the rubbish hours and minimum wage wasn't enough, the place is also going under from lack of customers. Two chefs have already left and everyone else is chasing suit.

If I stick around I may go down with the ship and could just be let off before Christmas. If I leave now I end up being broke and back on JSA, which I promised myself I would never do again.

Is there any advice you can offer? Thanks.

* * *

Hi, King Rusty,
 
Sorry for the slow reply. Can you tell me more about your current job? Are you working in a restaurant? Where in England do you live? What is your educational background? I need more information before I can give you a decent answer.
 
Hugs,
Pbear
 
* * *
Thanks for responding.

I do work in the UK and I do work in a restaurant; it is more of a pub first, though, but the food is the only real reason people have continued to visit this place in the middle of nowhere. Unfortunately, it has gone even more downhill that when I first sent the message to you. The head chef has quit, the sous chef has left after handing in her notice and our best waitresses have left with her as they look for anything better. The place is really struggling now and with the holidays coming up I now worry about how permanent my place here is.

As for my education I would say I did two years at college but harbor no real skills from my time there besides a basic math, English and IT certificates. Nothing astounding anyways.

If you require addition info just let me know.

Thanks!
 
* * *
 
Hi, again,
 
Being that it sounds as if this job is not going to last you, the only reasonable thing for you to do is start looking for other employment (it is always better to interview when you are employed than when you are out of work). I did a little research and see that, for some reason, restaurants and pubs are struggling in the UK and many are closing. However, since that is your work background, I would start looking in food service—at least in the short term.
 
While there might be no openings last time you checked, that can change at any moment, so keep on the lookout for openings and don’t be too picky (pickiness is a luxury you cannot afford right now). Here are some options/advice:
 

1. Network, network, network. Talk to friends, family, and any business people you know and see if they can provide you with leads. Make it known you are looking not because you are unhappy but because you think your current job will disappear.
2. Make yourself more employable: If you like the restaurant business, make yourself more desirable as an employee. If you are a cook, go to cooking school; if you like the business end, you can take classes in restaurant/hotel management. The better combination you have of experience and education, the more desirable you will be to employers.
3. Don’t be too parochial.  If jobs are scarce where you are looking, you might need to broaden your search. Yes, this might mean moving, but if you find a great job 100 miles from where you live that would give you a good income, you should be willing to pack your bags and move.
4. Consider other areas of employment. You said you had some IT certs? Are you good at IT? Then perhaps you should look in this field, which is always in need of good workers.
5. Always keep your ears and eyes open. Job opportunities can come from unexpected places, so don’t be so focused on a specific goal that you become blind and deaf to a spark or whisper that could reveal an open door to a new job you didn’t see coming.

 
Good luck!
 
Papabear

All shelves belongs to the cat.
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Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

ROAR volume 8, Paradise, edited by Mary E. Lowd.
Dallas, TX, Bad Dog Books, June 2017, trade paperback $19.95 (284 pages), Kindle $9.95.

ROAR volume 8, Bad Dog Books’ annual anthology of non-erotic furry adventure short fiction, is the third edited by Mary E. Lowd. It follows last year’s vol. 7 devoted to Legends, and continues the reductions in page count (394 pages two years ago, 377 pages last year, and 284 pages this year) to return the volumes to the earlier size edited by Buck C. Turner. This year’s theme is Paradise; “eighteen different visions of paradise”. Lowd says in her Foreword that, “This volume of ROAR received fewer submissions than the last two, but the average quality of those submissions was extremely high.”

It certainly is. Get ready for a long review.

The protagonist of “Northern Delights” by Madison Keller is Rafael Ferreira, a Chihuahua detective from the Phoenix, Arizona police department who goes to the start of the Idatarod sled race in Anchorage, Alaska to warn a Chow informant participating in the race of a plot to kill him. He involuntarily takes part in the race as the partner of Mae, a husky.

“Other than the crunching of snow under Mae’s paws and the shushing of the surrounding pine trees in the wind the night was silent. He’d grown up in the big city, and night to him meant the pounding thunder of a gunning motorcycle, the conversing of passing dogs, and the rumbling base leaking from a passing car.

Even the sky was unfamiliar. When Rafael craned his head back, he could see hundreds of stars twinkling brightly overhead. The sight awed and humbled him. When he was a puppy, his father had taken him up to the mountains to star gaze, but even there the lights of the city had hidden all but the brightest stars. He began to pick out constellations he’d learned about in grade school. There was Orion, te Hunter. Usually depicted in mythological art as an English Setter. Mae turned a corner and his view shifted, revealing Leo, the roaring lion. Rafael bared his teeth menacingly at the sky.” (p. 23)

Rafael discovers that Alaska is his paradise – especially if Mae is there.

The heroine of “Flying Back to Paradise” by Jelliqal Belle is Princess Dee Anna of Paradise Archipelago, a very young wombat who comes to New York – a very unanthropomorphized New York – on her flying eagle, dressed as Wonder Wombat, to join all the famous superheroes that she reads about in the comic books and sees on TV. The jaded human New Yorkers ignore her, and an old street musician named Trevor gently breaks it to her that the superheroes are all make-believe.

“The dejected wombat looked down at the sidewalk as she wiggled her stubby toes in relief. ‘Cause I never get to do the adult stuff. Everyone is always protecting me cause I am a princess. I wanted to prove I could do something that matters. I saw all that stuff on TV so I hopped on my eagle and flew here. I wanted to help and to show I could do it too.’” (p. 42)

She does stop a street thief, and flies back to Paradise Archipelago after the old musician convinces her that –

“‘Anywhere can be paradise, you just have to have the right frame of mind.’” (p. 45)

“Personal History” by Tim Susman is divided into two parts. In Boston in 2012, a raccoon appraiser is trying to set a value on a Revolutionary War-era British crimson military jacket that a coyote has brought in. In 1777 the story behind that jacket is told, involving John Martingale, a British red fox soldier and Nathaniel Braxton, a Colonial coyote, who are gay lovers. The story is well-written, although I don’t see what it has to do with “paradise” except for Nathaniel’s comments that he “can’t get into paradise without” John. ROAR vol. 8’s cover illustrates this.

In “The Lion Sleeps” by Frances Pauli, Stanley (a lion) in the big city is exhausted by the daily commute, traffic jams, too much coffee, working all night on presentations, office politics, and never having time for his family. Paradise for him may not be what you’d expect.

The question for much of “Tucked Away” by E. S. Lapso is whether the young rabbit protagonist is Bella, a girl, or Baxter, a boy. She/he is going home to see his/her parents for a weekend, and has to keep up a disguise. His/her stern father has barely accepted that “he’s” gay; it would be too much to admit to being transgender and becoming a girl as well. Nikki, a younger sister, is much more supportive. I suppose the “paradise” here is leaving the warm relationship she/he is in now to become who she/he used to be to go back to visit what used to be home.

“When Pigs Fly” by Amy Fontaine features Portia, a farm pig who wants to be able to sing and fly like the birds instead of to grunt and wallow in the mud like the other pigs. She reluctantly learns that she cannot, but her cheerful attitude makes the other animals happy.

“In Portia’s mind, she grew long, downy wings. The wings were a patchy white and chocolate-brown, just like her coat, with feathers soft enough to soothe her once-despairing heart. The other pigs in the pigpen all grew wings too. Together, the glorious flock of pigs soared over the fence on the other side of the barn and fluttered through the forest, singing exultantly as they did. The forest was full of rich new scents and vibrant new colors, as well as strange creatures Portia had never seen before: a horse with a glistening golden horn, a beast like a cross between a bird and a cat, and more. All of the creatures the pigs met were friendly and beautiful, and they shouted greetings to the pigs as the pigs passed overhead.” (p. 91)

Portia’s dreams and imagination are enough to put her into paradise.

“Funnel Dresses” by Priya Sridhar features spiders in a forest community. Camisole Topstitch is an insecure young seamstress asked to make an old-fashioned funnel dress. She is mocked by haughty Miss Chemise for being so old-fashioned when that was what she was asked for. Veteran seamstress Miss Raglan convinces Camisole to make what she’s asked to, and not try to force her customers to accept what is stylish:

“‘You find out who will want your best. But even if that fails, sewing is your paradise. That’s why we sew, for that happy feeling. Don’t let anyone ever take that away from you.’” (p. 102)

Sridhar does an exemplary job of making the cast feel like Victorian women at the same time she describes their curved fangs and eight legs.

“A Christmas Tale for the Disenchanted” by Mark Blickley is barely in an anthropomorphic setting. Moira, a young blind woman in Jersey City, NJ, has a loyal guide dog, Joad, a Labrador Retriever. But Joad is 14 years old, and aware that he will soon no longer be able to help her. As Christmas Eve turns into Christmas, the Miracle of the Animals briefly allows Joad to speak to Moira. Paradise must be in there somewhere; in any case, this is a heartwarming Christmas fantasy.

“Bite the Apple” by Christopher Shaffer is set in a future Earth that has been totally modified. Kate Kipling has been Converted into an anthro cheetah; Nikolas has been only partly Converted into a half-goat satyr for his job at Las Vegas’ brand-new Arcadia Casino and Hotel, the latest and most advanced pleasure palace:

“Without another word she ducked into her room. A features and amenities flier on the desk told her to be ready to experience ‘paradise at the Arcadia,’ and that her environment would ‘automatically adjust’ to provide a ‘perfect stay.’ The room itself was dimly lit, at just about the right balance of visibility versus feline comfort. If she strained, she could pick up the hints of a scent-neutralizer often used to accommodate morphs’ senses, so she wouldn’t have to smell the previous occupants or the cleaning products used by housekeeping. The temperature, she had to admit, was just right for someone with both fur and the casual suit she wore. And all this with no preparation, as she’d deliberately showed up without a reservation just to test how fast the system worked.” (pgs. 119-120)

Kate is there officially as a travel writer to review the hotel for Modern Vistas magazine. Unofficially she is also a freelance tech writer whose suitcase contains hidden equipment “to figure out just how this technological paradise worked. More than a few people had tried to figure out how the hotel worked, and she planned to be the first to get the truth without being caught and thrown out first.” (p. 120) How can the building be perfectly adjusted to each of the thousands of human and Converted guests, staff, and walk-in casino players? Advanced AI? Alien technology? Special pheromones? Is the military involved? The more Kate investigates, the more sinister it gets …

“Lonesome Peak” by John Giezentanner asks if you could live in paradise, be anything you wanted to be, have any experience you wanted, how would you like it? Jeremy, currently an anthro white-tailed deer who snags his antlers too much, and Keros, currently an anthro gray fox, are bored.

“‘OK. That’s a good point. Those are all good points,’ Keros reached up to poke the tips of his antlers. Jeremy batted his hand away.

‘You don’t have to change your skin if that’s where you’re at. We’ve just got to do something so that you’re not all Mr. Sad Antlers anymore. What if we go somewhere?’

‘I don’t know, the Black Death was kind of a mistake.’

‘It was a terrible mistake. Never again. I meant, what if we go somewhere offline? Physically go to a place on earth. A vacation!’” (p. 139)

They go with two pals who are a red panda and a theriopod dinosaur to Lonesome Peak; a well-marked 8-mile trail for beginning hikers. It’s easy. What could go wrong?

“When the Milk Men Come” by Searska Greyraven is a parable that we should all be familiar with, with anthropomorphic animals. The Milk Men, salt-white bulls, say that they will enforce equality to make a paradise. Who isn’t for equality?

“First, the [sic.] came for the birds, because they said it was unfair that they could fly while many good mammals could not. Birds had no place in a city, where all were on equal footing! (I wondered, what did being a mammal have to do with it? Many things flew that were not birds.) But I stayed quiet. I watched them take away my bat neighbors, who insisted they were really mammals all the way to the big white van.” (p. 154)

What species is the narrator? Does it matter?

“Nor’Killik” by Matt Doyle is set unimaginably far in the future. In the 26th century mankind discovered the ancient Glaxiarch bioengineering technology, and went on an orgy of combining lifeforms and creating new lifeforms, which eventually replaced mankind. Corvin is something that is mostly a reptilian bearded dragon, hardwired into a spaceship to answer emergency calls. He finds a lost research vessel of the Glaxiarch, the Nor’Killick, that is apparently inhabited by one of them named Dahl Mód:

“It was a quadruped, and built a little like the historical animal [a greyhound] in his memories, but the front legs were over long and a bit thicker. Its head was curved on top and angled down into a rounded muzzle of sorts. Even looking as disproportionate as it did, the lifeform was clearly built to move quickly. Its colouring was pitch black, and it appeared to be covered in smooth scales, a little like an Earth snake. It had no visible eyes, but a purple strip that glowed with an eerie phosphorescence ran up either side of its head, starting where it’s [sic.] eyes should be and stopping at the tips of its ears. Around its neck, it wore a metallic collar that shone under the ship’s lighting, and on its back it carried another of its kind. This one, Corvin noted, had no purple strips on its head, and did not appear to be breathing.” (pgs. 163-164)

Corvin is asked a puzzling but enormously meaningful question:

“‘Tell me, Corvin, what is paradise to you?’” (p. 168)

“We Are One” by Thurston Howl is “a piece of classic science-fiction horror.” (Lowd’s introduction, p. 172) Three space pirates, CervoSap Captain Neas of flame-red fur and eyes, LupoSap first mate Tipp (or Tripp), a scrawny female with a thick tail, and ReptoSap gunner Drag, huge with artificial wings, search for Olym-Pass, the fabled paradise planet. You know from the first page that any s-f story about discovering an apparent paradise planet will have something deadly about it.

This is also a fitting place to talk about ROAR vol. 8’s lack of proofreading. The LupoSap is called Tipp 4 times before being called Tripp 17 times. “[…] get them out of the area before the other ship, the Whitefeather, could sneak on board.” (p. 173) Since it’s silly to imagine one spaceship sneaking aboard another, this must mean someone from the Whitefeather sneaking on board the pirates’ ship. “The water was trickled past […]” (p. 177) The “was” is out of place. There are errors like this throughout ROAR vol. 8, although my favorite is in “Nor’Killik”: “Corvin dropped his rifle to his sighed […]” (p. 163)

In “Lucid” by Nicholas Hardin, Erica Lancaster takes part in a group test of FluxTech’s Halcyon device, an improved virtual reality world. She becomes Lyric, an anthro otter:

“Lyric could not remember living anywhere else her entire life, yet every day there was always something new to explore here.

A slender form darted through sunbeams piercing the ocean’s surface. Far below, Lyric could barely make out the constantly-shifting webs of light that the beams cast on the colorful reefs. She dove deeper and twisted her body to bask in daylight’s glow. Her light brown, otter-like body shimmered under the waves, delicately curved and completely unclad, leaving only bare fur to be caressed by the surrounding water as she swam.” (p. 181)

Aquatica is paradise to Erica. But it’s only a virtual world. As she becomes more addicted and tries to spend more time in it, she withdraws more and more from reality:

“She made her way over teeming sidewalks, past numerous people sporting ear buds or virtual interface spectacles, and silently wondered if she might be able to afford a set of her own someday after the Halcyon experiment ended. She dreaded the inevitable day when FluxTech would announce the servers shutting down and recall all active units.” (p. 186)

How far will she go to live full-time in Aquatica?

“Castle Phoenix” by Bill Kieffer could be an anthro fantasy; it could be a dying woman’s hallucination; it could be magic realism. Mrs. Terri Winkle, an elderly widow dying of brain cancer, visits with her daughter Michele’s help the places of her past. At a vacant lot that was the site of the Club Phoenix in the 1970s (they called it Club Paradise), she finds a children’s picture book of animal stories. In the evenings she reads the stories to her granddaughter Amitola, seven years old. Terri is a bisexual who had a full life with Gary, her husband, and Diane, her best friend, both of whom she outlived, in a joyous love triangle relationship. Gary and Diane come alive again as picture-book animal characters; Gary as Barry the Bear and Diane as the Hyena Warrior. They gently guide her to join them, as Princess Puss-Puss in Castle Phoenix, with the necessary help of Amitola’s innocence:

“‘This was a place I could bring you to {says Gary/Barry]. This was a place that Diane could meet you again. Most importantly, it was a place Amitola the Unicorn could understand and believe in,’ The bear took her hand and pulled her towards the red metal drawbridge that crossed the moat. ‘To a child, Paradise is an adventure land where the best of all impossible things happen. It’s that simple. It’s that complicated.’” (p. 234)

Kieffer writes really good schmaltz.

“Kypris’ Kiss” by Slip Wolf is narrated by a nameless cat:

“I’m in a small part of heaven. My delicate nose picks apart what my eyes already feast on; the glinting glass hull of the French press, coiled filter carrying grounds from the toasted gold above, descends. A caramel head of froth crowns the results. I pick up the press by its warm stem, pour with care so no drops escape the bone-white mug with its silver-leaf logo reading Kypris on its flank. Steam rises as I set the press down and stir the cream upward. I delay the moment with baited breath, then another. In heaven there’s no need but I do this because savoring is no less wondrous than having. Then a Moroccan kiss touches my lips and passes. I love this place. I savor my solitude amidst kindred but separate souls and feel the sands of time settle as they always do here. This is a small part of heaven.” (p. 237)

“I love this place,” the cat says. Of course you do, says the coyote, and Kypris loves you back. You are married. The cat is incredulous. Can you love a building as you would a woman? Why not? Everything has its Kami, its soul, and the coffee shop is soulmate to the cat. Over the course of “Kypris’ Kiss”, the coyote proves it. A cute story.

“Behesht” by Dwale is the surrealistic tale of a caravan:

“I ran into the caravan mere hours after my journey started, a handful [of] individuals whose appearance reflected an assortment of cultures and phenotypes. Their leader, a short man of vole genetic stock, offered that I should join them before he even asked my name.

‘Peace, my brother,’ he said. ‘Come with us, and leave these wretched places behind. Where we are going is far better.’

When I inquired as to where that might be, he smiled and sais a single word: ‘Behesht.’ Their destination was nothing less than Heaven itself, the hidden garden which is the reward of believers.” (p. 252)

The caravan is a landbound Ship of Fools. There are The Clergyman, Shapur, their vole leader; The Newlyweds, two rabbits “draped head to toe in bright clothes”; The Beekeeper, “a chimera with a reptilian phenotype. We shall assume his gender as male for the purposes of this story, but I couldn’t be certain.” (p. 255); The Djinn; The Nomad; The Executioner; and more. A truly wondrous tale.

“Hope for the Harbingers” by Allison Thai is also a surrealistic tale. The Lamb of God summons the Four Horsemen (without their riders) – Death, War, Famine, and Pestilence – from Hell to end the world, because it is time for the Last Judgment. All on Earth meet the Apocalypse with fear and despair, until Death encounters Viktor, a young Russian rabbit. Paradise can come in unexpected ways and places.

ROAR volume 8 (cover by Teagan Gavet) consists of 18 very different stories. There are none that I did not enjoy (except for having to wade through poor proofreading, and my usual kvech that several are funny-animal stories whose characters could just as easily have been humans). They are all so good and so different that it is hard to name favorites. For diversity, I will pick “The Lion Sleeps” by Frances Pauli, “Lonesome Peak” by John Giezentanner, “Castle Phoenix” by Bill Kieffer, “Behesht” by Dwale, and “Hope for the Harbingers” by Allison Thai.

ROAR volume 8 is not an anthology to be read at one sitting, but relax with a few stories at a time. It should entertain you for a week or more.

– Fred Patten

• Buy on Fur Planet

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Quick bit of history: Things were looking kind of bleak for American animation in the late 1970’s. It took a while to shake off the blues and get things going in the 1980’s, but when they finally did, animation came back with a bang. And now there’s a new book about it — with an appropriate title. “Totally Awesome: The Greatest Cartoons of the Eighties is the ultimate guide to ’80s cartoon nostalgia, featuring the art, toys, and inside story behind icons like He-Man, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, G.I. Joe, and the Thundercats. For an entire generation of kids weaned on the intoxicating excitement of eighties cartoons, the decade can be summed up with two words: Totally Awesome! With a thriving Saturday morning network schedule, a full complement of weekday syndicated programming, and the removal of guidelines that prevented cartoons from being based on toys, the 1980s enjoyed an unprecedented TV animation boom that made household names of a host of colorful characters. From He-Man and the Masters of the Universe to The Transformers, G.I. Joe, and The Muppet Babies, eighties cartoons would have such a huge impact on an entire generation that decades later they have become pop culture touchstones, revered by fans whose young minds were blown by their vivid visuals and snappy storytelling. In this deluxe book, Andrew Farago, a respected cartoon historian and child of the eighties, provides an inside look at the history of the most popular cartoons of the decade, as told by the writers, animators, voice actors, and other creative talents who brought life to some of the era’s most enduring animated shows.” Hey, a decade that brought us Gummi Bears and The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse? We’re there! Totally Awesome is coming in hardcover from Insight Editions at the end of November.

image c. 2017 Insight Editions

Looks like it's kaiju week! So we have a film adaptation of Rampage .... I was hoping for more an Rampage Oculus rift smash buildings game but I'll take a film version of the game.
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BARK! BARK! "Welcome, comrades! Meet Russian Subway Dogs, a fast-paced action-arcade game inspired by the real-life stray dogs of the Moscow Metro. We have done extensive, totally legal research in order to fine tune this chaotic simulation for what it's like to scavenge for food from Russian commuters. Surviving isn't easy when you are dodging volatile vodka, rival dogs, and the rare and dangerous Subway Bear! Coming to PS4 and PSVITA in 2018!"
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Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

Planet of the Apes: Tales From the Forbidden Zone, edited by Rich Handley and Jim Beard.
London, Titan Books, January 2017, paperback, $14.95 (421 pages), Kindle $9.99.

“The 1968 Planet of the Apes film has inspired generations of authors. Now a who’s who of modern writers produces sixteen all-new tales, exclusive to this volume, set in the world of the original films and television series.” (blurb)

Plus an Introduction by co-editor Rich Handley and an Afterword by co-editor Jim Beard. Handley explains that, while there have been Planet of the Apes movies, TV series, script novelizations, original novels, comic books, and so on, there have not been any Apes short stories before. Hence this book.

Seventeen authors (one story is a collaboration), most of whom are veteran s-f novelists or comic-book writers who have written some form of Apes fiction before, were invited to contribute a story to this anthology. All have had the creative freedom to explore their own ideas, without any editorial attempt to make the stories consistent. Since the first five Apes films established the concept that time travel is “a highway with infinite lanes leading from the past to the future” (p. 12), all stories are equally valid.

“Unfired” by Dan Abnett is set in the nuclear wasteland in Beneath the Planet of the Apes. A group of seven mutated, telepathic humans is making a pilgrimage through the Forbidden Zone to the subterranean city:

“They spent two weeks following the track through the craterland. By night, wild dogs barked in the distance, and Taul kept his rifle close. They skirted the rims of wide craters in the heat. The sun made the air buzz and click. Chemical lakes had formed in the basins of the craters, some vivid turquoise or blood-red. The wind stank of sulfur. Occasionally, they could see shapes down in the lakes: rusted, twisted, blackened masses half submerged, buckled metal leering at the sky, vague in the mists that lay across the toxic pools.” (p. 20)

Four turn back, or die, or are killed by the Third Race (the apes), one by one. The survivors’ goal is the the city under New York; the holy city of God — the doomsday bomb.

“More Than Human, Less Than Ape” by Nancy A. Collins features Cornelius, the chimpanzee from the first movie, in a prequel adventure from his first archaeological expedition. It explains why there are chimpanzees, orangutans, and gorillas, but no baboons.

“Blood Brothers” by Will Murray takes place in the setting of the 1974 Planet of the Apes live-action TV series, which has several differences from the movies; the largest being that ANSA (American National Space Administration) astronauts Alan Virdon and Peter Burke find themselves in a 3085 where talking apes and talking humans coexist. Virdon, Burke, and chimpanzee Galen from the apes’ Central City are escaping from the ruthless gorilla army of Security Chief Urko, looking for a remnant of human civilization.

“They had been pushing north for days, toward the Napa Valley. Village humans had told them that the apes avoided the Napa Valley. No one knew why. But it was a good place to find respite, and a steady supply of food, if the abundant vineyards still survived after generations.” (p. 66)

Urko’s troops are about to capture them in the Valley of Grapes when they are rescued by humans dressed like stereotypical Native American warriors.

“‘I see Sioux, Hopi, Navajo, Cheyenne, Yurok, and other costumes [Burke says]. The faces that go with them seem authentic. Everybody looks like a full-blooded brave of one tribe or another.’” (p. 72)

The humans of the Tribe of the Last from the Rez are led by gorilla Chief Apex in a full war bonnet of eagle feathers. Apex has been raised by the humans and has become “‘Kind of like Tarzan of the Apes, but in reverse.’” The three are forced to join Apex’s war party, and to witness a personal battle between Apex and Urko before continuing on their journey.

“The Pacing Place” by Bob Mayer is a sequel to the first movie. Astronaut George Taylor and speechless human Nova cross the desert of the Forbidden Zone and gradually collect more wild humans. Taylor creates Fort Wayne. Three years later, Taylor’s and Nova’s son Adam is born, who can talk. Over many years, Taylor passes on civilization to Adam and his later children.

“Murderers’ Row” by John Jackson Miller is in the Escape from the Planet of the Apes setting. In that movie, chimpanzees Cornelius, Zira, and Dr. Milo time-travel into the past, to 1973, and become celebrities. The movie covers the next few months; a year or so. This story takes place seventeen years in the future, in 1990, and recounts how all human civilization – especially the Hollywood TV industry — has been changed.

“Endangered Species” by Greg Cox is set in the world of the first movie, but several generations earlier. The chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans of Ape City have only recently crossed the desolation of the Forbidden Zone and begun to spread out. Janae, a young chimpanzee, is on a scientific expedition to study a colony of feral humans, but she is constantly thwarted by Captain Atlas and his gorillas who consider humans to be only fodder for hunting parties.

“Dangerous Imaginings” by Paul Kupperberg imagines that the world is not destroyed at the end of Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Young chimp scientists Darius, Kya, and Sidd find proof of ancient man’s technology. But it goes against the Academy’s religious doctrines that man was never intelligent. They learn more about their Academy than they suspect.

“Of Monsters and Men” by Kevin J. Anderson and Sam Knight is another prequel to the first movie, but featuring Zaius in his youth rather than Cornelius. Zaius, an Academy apprentice, has been put in charge of an expedition to explore the Forbidden Zone surrounding Ape City. The expedition’s other chimp and orangutan scientists follow his orders, but arrogant gorilla Captain Caetus feels he should be the leader. What they discover threatens to destroy them all.

“The Unknown Ape” by Andrew E. C. Gaska covers the Return to the Planet of the Apes 1975 animated TV series. General Urko, who has been exiled, has his gorilla troops raise a nuclear bomb from the psionic Underdwellers’ subterranean city. It is not clear whether he intends to destroy the humans’ Hidden Valley, or Ape City in revenge – but it is really an Alpha-Omega doomsday bomb that will destroy the whole Earth. He is foiled by a human army including apes Cornelius, Dr. Zaius, Virgil, and others, led by the prophesized Unknown Ape (Caesar, son of Cornelius and Zira); but not before the unstoppable bomb has been launched. Caesar, Virgil, Krador (the Underdwellers’ leader), and the Travelers (time-traveling astronauts Alan Virdon, Jeff Allen, and Judy Franklin) argue nobly over who among them will take the Probe Nine on a suicide mission to destroy it in orbit before it returns to Earth.

“Silenced” by Jim Beard covers generations, centuries, beginning with George Taylor in the present and returning to him in the future, telling in between of he gradual devolution of humanity into the feral humans that Taylor finds in the future.

“Who is This Man? What Sort of Devil is He?” by Robert Greenberger is a second tale in the setting of the 1974 live-action TV series. It gives an unexpectedly sympathetic portrayal of the gorilla Urko as he pursues Virdon and Burke.

“Stone Monkey” by Greg Keyes does not fit into any of the movies or TV series. Sun the siamang gibbon, a wily trickster, is captured by gorilla warlord Shor Telag. He demands Sun help him to live forever, as the legendary Stone Monkey does. Sun leads Shor and his gorilla troops into the Forbidden Zone …

“Milo’s Tale” by Ty Templeton is the personal tale of Dr. Milo, the chimpanzee scientist who accompanies Cornelius and Zira, just before the three travel into the past in Escape from the Planet of the Apes.

“Message in a Bottle” by Dayton Ward returns to the 1975 TV animated series. Astronauts Virdon and Burke, and the chimpanzee Galen, fleeing gorilla security chief Urko and his troops, venture into the Paola Wasteland, rumored to hold unknown ruins. What the three find is, naturally, extraordinary and incredible, and they have to keep it from falling into Urko’s control.

“The King is Dead – Long Live the King” by Rich Handley is a sequel to Battle for the Planet of the Apes, the final feature of the original series. Twenty years after its conclusion, Caesar is the leader of the new peaceful joint society of apes and humans in Ape City. He wants to forge a peace with the mutants of the subterranean Forbidden City (the Underdwellers). The leaders from Ape City and the Forbidden City meet, but a traitor sabotages everything.

“Banana Republic” by Jonathan Maberry is about the discovery of something that proves all the apes of the future are wrong in what they believe. It is also ape politics, and the strange alliance between orangutan priest Dante and gorilla military Captain Maximus.

These sixteen tales are all by professional authors, and are all well-written. But unless you are a really big fan of the first five Planet of the Apes movies and the two 1974-1975 television series, this is probably too specialized for you. This is a good anthology to be read gradually, a story or two at a time over a couple of weeks.

– Fred Patten

• Buy on Amazon

Like the article? It takes a lot of effort to share these. Please consider supporting Dogpatch Press on Patreon.  You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, or get Con*Tact Caffeine Soap as a reward.  They’re a popular furry business seen in dealer dens. Be an extra-perky patron – or just order direct from Con*Tact.

If there were one word to describe “Slave Trade” by Comidacomida, it would easily be “surprising.” This 466-page novel chronicles the story of its protagonist Sidney—introduced as a fox house slave to Lord Hector Desanti of Pross—and his rise among the ranks of both those of property and those of power.When a mysterious character known only as Fate Weaver leads Sidney to be his Lord’s errand-runner, Sidney could not imagine that this decision would save his life more than once. Following this choice, Sidney is thrust first into the role of a Slave Master, then to an overseer of a gladiator stable, later to a confused political tool, and soon to a curious title of rumor that even the King himself fears. Along the way he meets friends, enemies, and watches as some turn to the other in a world where no one is quite who they seem to be.Slave Trade’s plot is steeped in its world’s politics. Comidacomida’s world-building is fantastic, which makes the politics all the more engaging. The reader really gets a sense of Pross’s laws, the way Lords and the King interact, how slaves are valued and varied: there is a clear hierarchy that allows for real excitement when one watches Sidney surpass his limitations. The characters (with maybe one or two exceptions) are all almost wholly unique, with fleshed-out origins, personalities, opinions, and even accents and languages.On that last point is one of my few critiques: Maern—the foreigner horse that Sidney buys under Lord Hector’s request—does not speak Prossian upon his introduction. This leads to some cute and characterizing scenes, though they often felt longer than necessary and far too frequent to reiterate the point that he cannot speak with them.Beyond that one mildly-aggravating characterization, the inhabitants of Slave Trade’s pages were all very consistent in behavior, and their growth felt natural, justified, and well-paced. Hector remains hopeful to a fault; Sidney—despite his successes—remains timid and confused, though visibly evolves; Lord Talvin is cryptic and conniving, though ever-friendly (and admittedly my favorite character) throughout; Ulric starts and stays headstrong and aggressive; I could go on. Comidacomida clearly put a lot of thought into the personality of Pross’s characters, and it makes for incredibly enjoyable dialogue and organic development.Fair notice: this book is heavily erotic. Numerous male-on-male scenes pepper the storyline, and more often than not they feel like an integral part of the plot. Sidney, having once been a “pleasure slave” is well-versed in sexual capabilities and uses such knowledge to his advantage on more than one occasion. While at first, the trope of a sexualized fox character had me roll my eyes, I was impressed with Comidacomida’s utilization of Sidney’s history as a means to propel the story: his being so sexual had actual bearing on the progression of the events, and I was glad that after most scenes of promiscuity there was an accomplishment in it having been so. My one concern regarding the novel’s sexual content its frivolous use of rape: while framed in the world of Pross as a commonality of slave life (in the form of sold breeding or punishment), far too often afterwards it is inconsequential and felt as though such scenes could have been omitted at no cost to the story.For furries—particularly ones interested in politically-influenced narratives, and especially those that enjoy gay erotica—this book will not disappoint. Every few chapters grace the reader with gorgeous full-page illustrations, only adding to the novel’s immersion. Its characters are varied, its plot is exciting, its mysteries are engaging—all of which culminate in the last 150 pages as such a roller coaster of betrayal, magic, action, life and death, and more betrayal that I could not set the book down. Exclusively hardback with stunning full-cover, full-color cover design, “Slave Trade” would make a fine addition to anyone’s bookshelf.

Imagine a world where the American Revolution failed. Now, can you also imagine that in this world the British Empire employed sorcerers, and that these sorcerers created races of human-animal hybrids known as “Calatians?" You now have the basic premise of Tim Susman’s novel The Tower and the Fox.The book opens with an excerpt written by this universe’s version of John Adams concerning the Empire’s poor treatment of its Calatian “children,” and then we the readers are shown an example of such treatment as our protagonist attempts to enter a college of sorcerers. Kip Penfold, a fox Calatian, displays a strong talent for magic, but his kind are generally not allowed to learn sorcery. However, when the Prince George College of Sorcery suffers an attack that wipes out the entire apprentice population, Kip receives the opportunity to enroll alongside a dozen other new students. He quickly bonds with a group of other “unusual” students including his old friend Coppy, an otter, Emily, the first woman to attend the college, and Malcolm, who’s Irish. Together, they attempt to study magic and prove themselves worthy apprentices despite strict (at best) teachers, a host of magical accidents, and Farley, a bigoted student whose bullying often turns deadly.Those familiar with Tim Susman’s work under the name Kyell Gold and who may be expecting another novel along those lines may be disappointed. I am sorry to say that The Tower and the Fox is utterly lacking in a romantic subplot.Susman is an experienced author, and it shows in his characters. While they might appear two- or even one-dimensional at first, as you get to know them further, they reveal hidden depths. For instance, one character at first seems to be just a rich kid with no talent for magic, but it later turns out that he has some rather plot-significant influence “behind the scenes” as it were. However, some might think that he exaggerates the racism and sexism of the period to drive the story forward. I’m unsure if arranged marriages were prevalent in the real Colonial-era America, but, in this version, they do seem common among both Calatians (as they must marry within their species, and their populations are sparse) and middle-class humans. Still, the action is paced so that you’ll have trouble setting the book down for fear of missing what happens next.

Attention Kaiju fans, Looks like Toho has a new Godzilla anime coming out this Friday!
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Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on marijuana and sex drive. Conventional wisdom says that the more you smoke pot the less likely you are to be active at anything, sex included. However, recent studies show that daily users of pot tend to have more sex than average. We discuss why this might be and why more research is needed.

Our main topic is on family. During the holiday season a lot of us will be returning home to visit family, friends, and other people we grew up with. As young adults (or burgeoning adults) we have to begin to transition our mindset from that of a child to that of an independent adult. How can we accomplish this in a way that is ethical and empathetic. 

You also might be in the position of being a teenager living at home. How can you work with your parents to find a way to meet your wants while also meeting their needs? 

We close out the show with some feedback on reduced cost mental health services and a question on how to handle an abusive parent when you are a younger teen. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

FA 093 Family Relationships - Is weed bad for sex? Are families only good with weed? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!

Crazdude looks like one of those multi-talented artists that are one of the secret weapons of furry subculture – bright and devoted people with a buffet of skills like making art, writing, or performing all at once.  For the blog she started in 2016, I got a professional impression from a first glance. (I look out for blogs that seem to vibe with Dogpatch, so I liked finding this.)

The Crazblog bears out a good impression by sharing her selection as Guest of Honor at Fur-Xoticon. It lets you in on a personal detail:“As just a first-year newbie to the Artist Alley and Dealer’s Den experience at furry conventions, this came as quite an exciting surprise!”  Highlighting the newbie disclosure and small/local con size isn’t too critical, if you take it for granted that Furry is full of DIY power – it’s just good to keep in mind while reading the below post with an open mind. It mentions 3 years of experience at other cons.

Here is my breakdown of some of the aspects of vending at a furry con AA/DD that do more harm than good (+ possible solutions!) PLUS a bonus section of things that make vendors & artists happy!

It's a slog of a read so bring coffee. Feel free to RT!https://t.co/khnquy97XX

— draw softly and carry a big blog (@Crazdude) November 13, 2017

Crazdude’s post – “Top 5 ways conventions let their vendors down (+ Cons doing things that artists love!)” – led me to a point/counterpoint peer discussion that I wanted to share in response. I considered breaking down salient points for a formal article, but I liked the natural flow of a casual chat here. The chat is between me (plus a few stray watcher comments) and ScalieStaffer (name redacted to keep opinions apart from their position). They’re a fur with 8 years of con staffing experience in multiple departments, with roles both minor and major.

This is unfiltered chat (lazy spelling and all), so please be tolerant about critical opinion, which would be expressed with diplomatic respect if written up formally. Hopefully Craz finds her writing dignified by all the attention here.

ScalieStaffer:

Man, I support artists and vendors, but I REALLY hate this post.

Patch:

What do you hate about it? Are you reading stuff between the lines from experience I don’t have? I was a dealer just a couple of times, was too much effort for money i could have made in a much shorter time staying home and I’d rather enjoy the con.

Lay some knowledge on me

ScalieStaffer:

So the whole article is skewed towards the view that the dealers and artist alley are the centerpiece of a convention.

They are absolutely not.

Conventions cannot cater the entire convention experience around their vendors/artists

in fact, the cost of having the space for vendors is usually so high, that conventions see it as offering dealers space as a convenience towards attendees, not towards the dealers.

Like, just one fuckup in the cost of the dealers den spaces at most big cons could bankrupt them.

ESPECIALLY AC, that convention center is EXPENSIVE.

Randomfur Reader:

It certainly is.

Anthrocon 2006 Dealer’s Den. Photo by GreenReaper.

ScalieStaffer:

Also if conventions were to actually charge table costs to fully cover the space rented with all the other costs involved… no furry would buy a table.

They usually offer space at a loss that will be partially covered by table costs and partially by registrations.

Randomfur Reader:

When I’m elected I promise to introduce the Fursonas for Americans Act, with fully subsidizes furry cons and provides tax incentives to fursuit makers

ScalieStaffer:

haha, i mean its a niche industry in the country now. there is over $1 million worth of fursuits in the world now.

Randomfur Reader:

Provision everyone a Social Security Fursona

Managed by Equifur

Patch:

Haha, not just $1 million of fursuits in the US, over $3 million at AC alone, and that was when i did math on attendance and ballpark prices a few years ago

And yeah fantastic comment about cons subsidizing dealers

So the “dealers are supersponsors” approach deserves a definite counterpoint

However, from the standpoint of “well managed con is good for everyone” I found the article to be really valuable

Particularly stuff like the letter from someone talking about the awful experience of a musician who was stoked to put on a great show, and got burned by the con’s awfulness

ScalieStaffer:

Thing is they are implying that not getting the things they want means a con is poorly managed, when that is hardly the case

Patch:

I dunno, it seems to make a lot of logistical sense to combine dealer applications and hotel room access. It sounds majorly counterproductive to the whole cons purpose to get an expensive dealer room but have roadblocks to access. Like, dealers who wheel stuff back and forth really need close access, their working hours are important too

So opening limited room booking for dealers then doing “release the hounds” sounds spot on to me.  (Nobody who wants a shortcut is going to be a dealer just to get a room.)

ScalieStaffer:

The thing is, there is no shortage of dealers. If those were true roadblocks, cons wouldnt have long waitlists for dealer dropouts

Like I said to a friend, if someone didnt like a con’s dealer policies for whatever reason, they are free to not deal at that con, and there will be someone out of the many waitlisted people jumping at the chance.

Patch:

Yeah, there is no shortage, but that’s quantity instead of quality. Theres something to be said for partially making “community access” but also a lot going for curation. If a mainstay-of-cons, full-time-pro type dealer cant get in, thats pretty counterproductive to what the entire fandom is about (building things from personal commitment)

Conroomies.com

ScalieStaffer:

The thing is, thats not been a problem so far, there are plenty of ways for dealers to get in the “main hotel” of an event. Most connected dealers have many MANY friends and can find roomspace, not only that there are sites like ConRoomies as well that cater to hooking up people with rooms to those without.

Patch:

Cons do charity and are functionally not-for-profit but are still businesses, its simply poor and inefficient business to have a clusterfuck about room booking out of sync with dealer access.

ScalieStaffer:

If you take part of the room block and reserve it for vendors when there are so many now, on top of the ones being held for staff, there will be very little left over for attendees.

Not to mention the very specific problem to our little group, fursuiters.

So I do agree that rooms should be booked before dealer openings, but they shouldnt have their own block, which is what is suggested.

Patch:

And oh man, that is absolutely what i mean. Having full time pro dealers have to scrape crumbs by looking on ConRoomies? Many of them need a close, fully private room for a very good reason

I also really doubt that the proportion of dealers vs general attendees poses a threat like that about taking all the rooms

Correct me if theres math about number of rooms vs number of dealers

ScalieStaffer:

But Like I said, a convention is under no obligation to even provide space to those full time pro dealers, there are SO MANY people that want in now that literally anyone who can pay the table fee can get in.

Patch:

Of course there’s no obligation, but that doesnt excuse poor logistics… having a better experience for dealers is good for the whole con. People don’t go to buy from “just any” dealers (if the shoe fits, wear it style)

ScalieStaffer:

Yes but I think that the grand majority of con goers arent going to change their convention attendance if a dealer they want to see isnt there.

Buylagarto.com

Patch:

Take a dealer like Lagarto Leather, he seems ubiquitous all over, with a popular product, and i dont know anyone else doing it on his level. Leathercraft takes investment into materials apart from just offering art commissions. What you’re proposing puts any random artist in his place if his application is a gamble influenced by whether room access sucks. I’ve also heard serious complaints from 1980’s “fandom founders” about being left in the dust of others with what they feel is no justification or explanation, making them upset about how the fandom is being diluted with people who dont care about it. Not saying it’s 100% right but its a perspective worth hearing

So no, people may not make decision for attending based on what dealer is there, but quality gets noticed and so does poor selection

ScalieStaffer:

Its a perspective worth hearing sure, but also a convention has to tailor to its attendees as well, and as the majority of major cons skew towards the 18-24 set as their highest demo, having a dealers space that has alot of Jim Groats and such would not work at all.

Patch:

And people who dont travel and love their home cons may really want to see a guy like Lagarto coming to them even if he goes to many

There’s Jim Groats, but hearing the complaint from a Lagarto would get my attention, and I think the article does a good job of spelling it out persuasively. Even with the counter point about subsidized costs taken for granted.

ScalieStaffer:

And I get that, but like I said, there are plenty of people who dont go to the con with the dealer space as their focus. My main complaint is that certain artists like this one think they are the lifeblood of the convention being able to operate, when that is absolutely not true.

Patch:

I thought the article seemed pretty clear about its bias, not like trying to trick anyone into ignoring others interest. I’m a small business guy and do some tight organized events and love hearing about logistics, and would recommend this article for event organizing, although i havent done any on con scale.

I’m interested in resharing this as critical comment, especially about the subsidizing. Interested in picking anything else apart in it?

ScalieStaffer:

I mean I could pick the whole thing apart but I just dont have the time. In all honesty, this would make a great podcast or something. many of these points are easier to make with voice

Patch:

Yup agree.

There you go. Anyone with a podcast could run with that, and for anyone else (especially those who pay a lot of attention to how dealer rooms are run), please leave comments down below! — More feedback of interest:

Juried DD is hard to pull off well. It leads to form letters telling long-time pro artists to "improve your art and try again next year!" Or "you got 0 points." Requires really clueful staff or it generates even more bad feeling than the drag races.

— Jarlidium Press (@jarlidium) November 14, 2017

I like juried DD so there ideally isn’t too much repeat/overlap of a particular thing or art style! I remember one year at Bronycon, I was bored as a shopper because it was licensed merch, custom plushes, and the 2D artists. Not enough variety of products had me spending zilch.

— Irime (@IrimeZane) November 14, 2017

Pulling stock for Anthro NW next weekend. Nice thing about hometown con: I can pack for one day's sales & bring in more as actually needed.

— Jarlidium Press (@jarlidium) November 4, 2017

We had a good time in the @anthronw dealer's room. Faustorian did a great job running it, he was visible, available, and responsive! And thanks to everyone who stopped by our table!

— Jarlidium Press (@jarlidium) November 14, 2017

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