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So... I promised a bunch of you drawing requests... And i'm working on them, but my tablet randomly stopped working. I don't know if it's the computer or the tablet. It started last night so... I'll keep you updated but so far... :/ sad wolf pup

submitted by spikeage
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[edited from the original version posted at Kyell's blog]

I wrote a blog post recently about how we shouldn’t be afraid to tell our friends that we’re furries, and I got a thoughtful question on FA. Namely, why bother? It’s just a hobby, right? Do we “come out” as a stamp collector, or a Man United fan, or a Jane Austen fan?

I said in the original post that I didn’t necessarily want to compare coming out as gay with coming out as furry. The first is a preference coded into us at birth which dictates many aspects of how we live if we choose to live with a partner. The second is a not-fully-understood aesthetic appreciation for animal-people that can range in degree from a guy who likes to talk about Looney Tunes cartoons with his friends to a woman who makes a living designing fursuits and wears her own every chance she gets. But it’s telling that when people talk about telling their friends and family that they’re furries, that the phrase coming out is more and more commonly used.

It’s understandable. It means “revealing a part of ourselves that was hidden,” and because gay people were the ones most commonly hiding important parts of their lives well into adulthood, it’s been associated with revealing one’s sexuality. I think that its use in talking about furry is not so much connected to the “hidden” part as it is to the “important” part.

For a lot of people, furry is more than just a hobby; it’s a home. Some people don’t have any other homes; some people are perfectly happy with their family in one setting, with their office “home” in another, with furry in their spare time. What I mean by “home” is a place where you feel safe, where you feel sad to be away from, where some of the closest people in your life reside.

When I was first getting into the furry fandom, I had a friend who came out to his parents and was kicked out of his family. To a lot of guys in their early 20s, that would be devastating, and he was pretty broken up about it. But he had a boyfriend, and he had the furry fandom, a great support network that made sure he always had a friend around and an ear to listen to his troubles. That’s what I mean by a home.

Right now, I have a family who aren’t furries. But most of my closest friends are furries, and when Kit and I got married, the furry stuff was pretty much all over our wedding (because our wedding planner, a non-furry, fell in love with it). I have a furry image of myself as the lock screen on my phone, a furry pic of me and Kit as my phone background, so literally a day doesn’t go by that I don’t see some furry art, and now that I’m making my living from writing – largely in the furry fandom – most days I end up talking to other furries or talking about furries.

If your life is like that, if you have a group of close furry friends, and yet you’re not sharing that part of your life with other people close to you, then you’re hiding something from them. You’re not sharing all of who you are. And that’s fine, honestly; if anything, people these days tend to overshare. But if you want to tell them, and are simply not telling them out of fear that they’ll jump to conclusions, then you’re doing them a disservice. More than that, you are hurting yourself. When you make choices in your life, such as to continue to be part of the furry fandom, and then hide those choices from other people who are important to you, you are telling yourself that you doubt your choices. You are telling yourself that those people would be right if they mocked you for being a furry. That’s not a healthy way to live.

(And yes, there is adult stuff in the fandom. You don’t have to talk about that. What do you do when you go to conventions? What do you talk about online with your furry friends? Are adult pictures and stories really the reason you continue to be part of this community? Or is it the people, the ones you feel you can really open up to, the ones who make you laugh and who talk video games, who have a costume like you or like the same movie/TV show/anime? That’s what you want to talk about. Everyone understands “a group of friends who like the same thing I like.” What you all like is also interesting, but secondary.)

That’s who my original post was aimed at, people who cited the primary reason for hiding their furriness as “I don’t want to be associated with those people in the news.” If you’re a casual furry, or if you’re distant from your family and non-furry friends, then sure, they don’t have to know. But if one of your family, your co-workers, or your friends is trying to get to know you better, and they ask “why’d you go to Pittsburgh?”… well, before you automatically say, “just to see friends” and change the subject, pause for a second and think. Maybe that’s a good time to “come out.” Maybe that’ll help you get closer to the other people in your life. You might have to take a little teasing, but take it with good humor, and it’ll be fine. As I said before, as K.M. and I have said on the podcast and many people have said in many venues over and over: if you act like it’s something to be ashamed of, people will pick up on that. If you act like it’s a cool thing, fun, and a positive part of your life, which I think for most of us it is, then that’s how your friends and family will view it. And isn’t that what we all want?

Yea. I just recently realized I am a furry and stuff. So, yea. Have any advice?

submitted by StillDefective
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submitted by xandertheblue
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We review all the crazy goings on at Pittsburgh this year, including Bumcon under the bridge, LSD, potatoes, crazy breakfasts, and elf banging. Also, check out and share highlights at our YouTube channel, updating it all the time! http://www.youtube.com/user/DraggetShow?feature=watch as always, you can leave your questions and comments on draggetshow@gmail.com, we love hearing from you! 026 - Anthrocon '12 IN REVIEW - We review all the crazy goings on at Pittsburgh this year, including Bumcon under the bridge, LSD...

We review all the crazy goings on at Pittsburgh this year, including Bumcon under the bridge, LSD, potatoes, crazy breakfasts, and elf banging. Also, check out and share highlights at our YouTube channel, updating it all the time! http://www.youtube.com/user/DraggetShow?feature=watch as always, you can leave your questions and comments on draggetshow@gmail.com, we love hearing from you! 026 - Anthrocon '12 IN REVIEW - We review all the crazy goings on at Pittsburgh this year, including Bumcon under the bridge, LSD...

submitted by Scholfeild
[link] [4 comments]

I'm not a furry but a friend of mine is. She's coming home in twoish weeks from a pretty stressful program she was applied for and I want to do something nice for her. I know she doesn't have any furry friends in the area so she gets really excited when she meets one.

If not that any other things I can do related to furdom?

submitted by Kibouhou
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So I know this isnt really a tail, but i wea a lanyard in my pocket everybody and its like a tail. If i dont have it i genuinly flip out. Like if i lose it is weird. Is that how furrys normally feel when they lose their tail? Like i wont leave the house till its in my pocket again.

submitted by Phantomwillz
[link] [10 comments]

Hello Papabear!

I'm not entirely sure where to begin, so I do apologize if this is long...

My husband/mate and I have been together for a total of 8 years this upcoming January (married almost six months of that). We love each other to bits, and like all couples, we argue. But when we do, it's more of a debate than an argument, we don't raise voices to shout at each other, we raise voices to clarify a point, and we always manage to work things out.

There's one thing though that we still can't break through. 

I have a high sex drive. Very high. It's on almost all the time due to a hormone imbalance. Now, I don't go acting out on it IRL, because I can't picture myself actually going to another man (or woman) and jumping their bones. That and I don't want to hurt him, I love him too much. Now, he is the polar opposite of me. His drive is minimal, I won't say non-existent because it is there, it's just wayyyyyyyyy below mine. As you can imagine this makes sex between us...kind of a two or three a month deal at the least (If I'm lucky, four times a month). When we do have sex, it's mind-blowing, best I've ever had, the end, so he doesn’t have ED or anything like that.

Now...when we have the dry spells, I start to get lethargic, and depressed. I thrive on affection and being touched, I love physicality (Is that even a word? Oh well, it is now.) And when I'm not paid attention too, I start to feel depressed. Thoughts that cross through my mind: "Am I doing something wrong? Am I not appealing enough? What do I need to do to make him notice me more?”

Now I have to backtrack a bit here to kinda ... help put things more into perspective. We are the result of a long distance relationship. By long, I mean I lived in the US, and he lived in the UK. We survived hardships because of my drive, and he even let me "Play" with other people online to help me get a lot of the ya-ya's out of my system. It did help, and I'm forever grateful for it because he's so understanding in that area, but now that I'm here...it's like...I don't know. Something's missing?

There's more...Him and I do things online still (me more so than him), though lately I've been just wanting to grab him and have a good solid few days of just making love. I want to be romantic and be the center of attention and please him, but he's always busy doing his thing. He'll play games, talk to people on IRC, focus on them...he says he does all that to de-stress. He was made redundant at his job (laid off) and has been looking for one since, and since I can't work legally (And I have celiac disease to boot) he's been worried about supporting me and keeping me healthy...and all I want to do is take his mind off of things by taking him to bed for a while. 

I guess I just can't wrap my head around how he works. I mean, it's like...he's in reverse. I'm going one way and he's pulling back into another. I worry about him and I want to de-stress him but the only way I know how, is the way I de-stress myself...To top it off when I get depressed, he finds it unattractive and it makes him less likely to actually want to be with me in an intimate sense, that just makes me feel worse.

We're both switches, but I lean more toward the bottom side, and he takes the top with ease. Sometimes I get a bit dommy and I go after him, but it's rare because I can't really read him, if that makes sense. If I could tell when he was in the mood it'd be easier for me. But I just can't, and that makes me feel less confident. 

Another thing that makes me feel...weird (or abnormal, I suppose), is that I'm female and yet I've the drive of ten rabbits jam-packed into me. It makes me feel like a freak. He's never stated that I am one, and he's supported me as much as he can, but I still feel so alone in this sometimes.

I feel so bad because sex is important to me, dare I say, one of the important things, and I don't know what to do. I want to be chipper and happy and stuff but I want to be all that with him, but I can't when he's all in his little world of online friends and stuff. I feel so left out in that regard. 

I know I'm being selfish, but I don't know what to do. 

I hate feeling pent up sexually, but I also hate feeling like a selfish dork for wanting that fulfillment and having him enjoy it the same way I do. 

I would appreciate your help, any bit of advice will be greatly appreciated!

--Red Kitteh

* * *

Dear Red Kitteh,

Sex is an important part of any healthy relationship, and Papabear knows that an otherwise loving marriage can end if the two people involved are not sexually compatible. So do not feel guilty that you want to have a sexually satisfying life with your husband (you also call him mate, so you are not legally married, I suppose?)

There are a couple things that might be going on here. The first one that comes to this bear’s mind involves stress. You say your mate has been laid off and is worried about supporting you.  Being out of work can be very depressing, and he might be trying to alleviate some of this by chatting online and playing games on the computer, etc., in order to escape from reality a bit. Don’t be offended, but spending time with you in any manner, sex or otherwise, might just be a painful reminder to him that he is, in his mind, failing you—and when you act depressed yourself, well, you’ve seen the results. This theory, though, assumes that his sex drive changed after he lost his job, and you have not indicated that to be the case.

Another factor could be age; you don’t mention how old he is, but older men tend to have lower levels of testosterone and lower sex drives as a consequence. The good news is that low testosterone is easy to diagnose with a blood test and his doctor can prescribe testosterone to boost his levels. If this is the problem, then it is easily resolved.  Complementary to this is your own hormonal issues, which you say have raised your libido. You do not mention whether you have, or can, seek treatment for that, but, based on your writing, I might assume that your hormonal issues are untreatable.

Other causes of low libido can be drug use (both legal and illicit), being overweight, alcoholism, and diseases ranging from diabetes to anemia to hyperprolactinaemia (a rare pituitary gland disease). How is his health? Has he had a medical examination lately?

The average married couple with no medical issues has sex about twice a week; in comparison, you say you are having sex about two or three times a month, so, yes, this is below normal unless the two of you are in your senior years. “Normal,” however, does not mean everyone will have the same experience; “normal” for your husband seems to be at this lower rate, and if he is not having any of the problems mentioned above, then that could just be what is natural for him.

One more thing: have you had a serious heart-to-heart talk with him about sex? Unless he’s very thick in the head, he surely knows that you want more from him than he is giving, but that is not the same as talking about the problem openly. Talk to him frankly about your bedroom problems, and you might find out that there is something going on you haven’t even guessed at. If something does come out, then do not be judgmental about it. Acknowledge what he has said and try and work your way through it. If you need help, you might also seek out a sex therapist, although this is likely not an option for you since neither of you is employed at the moment and insurance usually does not cover sex therapy.

You say you both love each other very much, Kitteh, so this is a relationship worth saving, says Papabear. See what you think about this bear’s suggestions, and if I’m not hitting the mark, write again and we’ll keep working on it.

Bear Hugs,

Papabear 

Despite him being an incredible artist (and being told so quite frequently by me) he hates his art. I asked him if he could whip up a quick Firefall related wallpaper of our Fursonas (Check out /r/firefall for more info on the game) for my HD monitor. He did this in about an hour (all the while protesting about how much he hated it). Please help me convince him that his art is amazing!

You can find more of his art on his FA page http://www.furaffinity.net/user/iongt or mine http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tabsterleir

EDIT: Reddit didn't add the imgur link for the wallpaper. Here you go! http://i.imgur.com/UBJWZ.png

submitted by tabsterleir
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submitted by AxelSparkster
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Sooooooooooooooooo yeh if you’re all about the Room 366 video (which you had to see before it was pulled from across the net), then you’ll like this new  video too. Hopefully this one stays on the nets a little longer, I really like how they got the expressions in the muzzles and all.  It comes rare and far to see a well put together furry video, so paw claw thumbs up to them.

Author: admin We’re back to our standard show format! In what must be some kind of marathon record, Istanbul gives the Anthrocon Report of the Damned; anyone who missed his voice will surely be happy, as he prattles on for something like twenty-five minutes! We also have a PSA about dehydration and heat stroke, how [...] Episode 48 – Unconventional

Author: E-Mail Hidden This week on Knotcast, Shiva has mutinied against the guys and brought forth shadowy coconspirators to take over the show! Shiniferret, Shiva, Webster, Kyo, Smokescale, and Halfwit put on a show sans Savrin and Fuzz, so who knows what could happen! Use our coupon code ‘knot’ at AdamEve.com for a great deal!www.adameve.com [...] KnotCast: Episode 181 – Triangle

I figured there was more to the death of the furry responsible for "Fuck you, I'm a dragon!"
So I interviewed the alleged murderer and Starblade's parents and wrote an article on it. The story is in the California State University, Northridge publication Scene magazine. It's also on this blog Fencehopper, which is a commentable, updatable version. (Since Scene magazine is a physical publication.)

submitted by ChatGarou
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As an anthromorphic version of itself, which animal would have the most believable stoic personality, in your opinion?

I know any could if I really wanted to force the trait, but a theme of the project I am working on is the play off of traits commonly associated with animals (i.e. weasels are sneaky).

Thanks.

submitted by MrSeventySeven
[link] [15 comments]

We’re back to our standard show format! In what must be some kind of marathon record, Istanbul gives the Anthrocon Report of the Damned; anyone who missed his voice will surely be happy, as he prattles on for something like twenty-five minutes! We also have a PSA about dehydration and heat stroke, how to handle suspicious phone calls while you’re not at home, and discussion about all the Fur-B-Q nonsense that happened last week. If you’re not familiar with it, put on some oven mitts, because the urge to facepalm will be nigh-irresistable!

Once we get into e-mails, our topics range far and wide! We’ve got discussion about a fiance who seems to be an across-the-board enabler and warnings about cheating patterns, discussion on the nature of pansexual vs. bisexual, the difference between gossiping and commiserating about customers, Istanbul’s monthly Word That Sounds Dirty But Isn’t, advice on how to meet furs in your area, a writer who comes to Ohio’s defense as a state, and discussion on the state of the upcoming Wii U!

Next week, we have a double topic, though they’re related. Next week, we want to hear about your break-ups and your regrets. They don’t necessarily need to be related, but we understand that they sometimes will be. We want to hear from you, the listeners; we love hearing from people who have never written in before along with our cherished regulars, so don’t be shy, we don’t bite (probably)!

Twitter: fuzzylogiccast
FA: fuzzylogicpodcast
E-mail: fuzzy.logic.podcast@gmail.com
iTunes: Fuzzy Logic Podcast

Download:
Episode 48 – Unconventional
File modified June 22, 2012 – 81.5 MB – downloaded 624 times so far

Episode 48 – Unconventional - We’re back to our standard show format! In what must be some kind of marathon record, Istanbul gives the Anthrocon Report of the Damned; anyone who missed his voice will surely be happy, as he prattles on for something [...]

Hey gang. I'll be in SF for Pride on Sunday. Any events, booths, areas, get togethers, etc. that I wouldn't want to miss?

submitted by GoateeDude
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