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While Struggling with Mate and Family, Don't Forget the Child
My mate and I have a very taboo relationship, we also have had some very hard times and it is not getting any easer. We are both Wiccan, in a three-way relationship with no third partner. We have chosen to have her as the bread winner and me as the homemaker. We also have a pup that my mate’s closed-minded mom will hardly let us see. She has set up some demands for us to get her back, but one of them is near impossible for me to do because of my mental and physical condition.
I know I love her and I know she loves me, the hard part is that we are at each others’ throats ninety percent of the time. Some of it I know why, but a lot of it I don't get. She can be very childish at times and I can be very overbearing and controlling at times, but we both strive to make each other happy, but it seems to be going nowhere.
At time she seems to be unattracted to me, which I get; she was a lesbian before we meet. The relationship has its ups and downs but the downs are seeming to get longer.
Papa bear, what should I do: leave or stay and appease her mother?
Glaser
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Hi, Glaser,
Indeed, a complicated relationship. Let me see if I can get this straight: you are a threesome of two? That’s certainly different. You have a baby together, yet she is a lesbian. Her mother somehow has custody of the child and won’t let you have the cub until you meet some conditions you don’t feel you can meet because you have some physical and mental issues. You and your mate are in love but most of your time is spent fighting.
I think I can see why her mother would not see this as a suitable and stable home for your child, and will assume that a judge has given her custody because of this. If that is not the case and custody has not been legally awarded to her, there is nothing stopping you from getting your child back other than you (and your possibly being intimidated by her mother, and your mate letting you be intimidated). You don’t explain the case there, so I cannot determine who is in the right. Is she trying to keep the child from you because of your disabilities, or is it because you are a Wiccan and have an unconventional relationship and your mate’s mother doesn’t agree with your lifestyle?
What you should do is try and think what is best for your child. You should try and be the best parent you possibly can for the child. Whether that means going to work, or simply being at home and nurturing your progeny and giving the kid a loving, happy home so that he or she can develop normally, then that’s what you should do. If you need help with this because of your “mental and physical condition,” then you should explore government assistance programs that may help you with those needs and to establish a more stable home life for the child.
You should do all you can to not fight with your mate, and you should especially not fight in front of your child. If this becomes impossible, you and your mate will need to live separately, but with the agreement that you stay in your child’s life as much as possible. That is, shared custody.
By doing these things, you are not striving to “appease” the mother; you are getting your priorities straight, which should be 1) child first, 2) you and mate second, 3) mother and other family third. From what you have been saying, the relationship is not working out, which can happen even when both parties supposedly love each other. Papabear can’t help you here since you do not adequately explain what you are fighting about, but I can tell you what’s important. I hope you can work things out, but you must put the well being of your cub first.
Good luck,
Papabear
Ep. 67 - Bro Douche - Sup bro? Sorry for the hiatus, Alkali was sick. We review FCN '13, talk about proper punishment...
Ep. 67 - Bro Douche - Sup bro? Sorry for the hiatus, Alkali was sick. We review FCN '13, talk about proper punishment...
Episode 72 – FA Alternatives - Where's your art? There are now several alternatives for both artists and art-lovers in the fandom to share in furry creations. In today's episode, we give overviews of some of them and discuss the perceived image of the fan
Where’s your art? There are now several alternatives for both artists and art-lovers in the fandom to share in furry creations. In today’s episode, we give overviews of some of them and discuss the perceived image of the fandom based on the popular art sites.
Metadata and Credits WagzTail Podcast 2.0 Episode 72Runtime: 30m
Cast: Crimson X, Levi, Wolfin
Editor: Levi
Format: 128kbps ABR split-stereo MP3
Copyright: © 2013 WagzTail.com. Some Rights Reserved. This podcast is released by WagzTail.com as CC BY-ND 3.0. If distributed with a facility that has an existing agreement in place with a Professional Rights Organisation (PRO), file a cue sheet for 26:00 to Fabien Renoult (BMI) 1.67%, Josquin des Pres (BMI) 1.67%, WagzTail.com 96.67%. Rights have been acquired to all content for national and international broadcast and web release with no royalties due. Podcast image belongs to John Nyberg, used with permission.
What makes someone a furry, and how do you view yourself in the "fandom"?
What are you if you are a "furry"?
I am not a furry. Why am I not a furry?
Because, I don't believe the whole "spirit/inner animal" thing and if I did I'd be a something more of a badger or something like that not a polly wog, and only have the one sona/character/whatthefuckever, I don't think a fursuit will make the inner me come out and I think that it is nothing more than a cosplay item much like a buster sword and a spikey yellow wig (FF7 reference btw), I don't want to look like a cat/dog/fox/dragon in real life, I don't really like the whole "murry purry huggy huggy" thing in real life actually you touch me and I will hurt you I don't like being touched I also don't like being groweld/hissed/meowed/barked/nieghed/snorted/other random animal noised at nor do I like to make them, the thought of animal genitalia to me is disgusting (for the fetish side of this fandom not gerneralizing just stating something), I do have a few tail/ear sets made by a friend they are awesome tail/ears that I really like wearing but I would wear an anime cosplay or video game cosplay as fast as I would wear an animal cosplay, I don't like collars/leashes/chains that stuff, I don't find furry porn sexualy attractive, in fact the porn that gets me off is either written or well drawn humans. "But Polly Wog why did you get so much porn drawn of your character then?" Because it is something to have, and it's not just for me, if someone wants to see a a cute green and blue Polly Wog getting the D then they look up the name Polly Wog and they will see that, and not have to draw/have it drawn. I really like my characters(had more than just one of course), BUT only in the sense that this is a huge role playing game, it's like DND with out the crappy DM telling us what to do. I view all the stuff I do on FA/IB/SF and all the stuff I draw as a lazy hobby, because I could just draw humans from now on and join DA but do I want to? Not really all my friends are on FA/IB/SF, and I like being super lazy while drawing :D.
MAIN REASON I AM NOT A FURRY THOUGH, IS BECAUSE I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT POLLY WOG IS REALLY A PART OF ME, AND I THINK THAT THE FURRY COMMUNITY IS NOTHING MORE THAN A SUBDIVISION OF ART WHICH I AM NO ARTIST SO I HAVE NO PLACE IN THE FURRY WORLD, SHOW ME ONE FURRY PLACE WHERE ART IS NOT A MAJOR FACTOR AND I WILL CHANGE MY MIND AND SAY SORRY!!
What is "furry" to you? Hobby? Fetish? Lifestyle? Personality trait?
For me it is a hobby. That is all, like drawing, or riding my bike, I don't think it is a part of me, hence why I am no longer active in the "fandom" and I can drop it just as fast as I picked it up, also being in the "fandom" for many a year and being an active member in cons/gatherings I can safely say, I'd rather be an outsider looking in, I've seen the best and worst of the fandom, and DO NOT JUDGE you guys on the worst, trust me I know they just give a bad name :3.
Seriously describe why you are here and what it means to be what you think you are?
submitted by PogglyWog[link] [8 comments]
Where to begin?
Alright, I've been a furry for a while but i had no idea what to do. I guessed interacting with the community is a good place to start! I've just made an FA account but I'm not sure where to go from here :s Anyone got any advise? I'm pretty lost!
EDIT: Link to my FA - http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lupinwhiterun/
submitted by Tobran[link] [36 comments]
Free Pen Sketch from DotX :3 (imgur Link in comments for those that the direct link does not work for)
does anyone know of alterate fursuits?
i dont find cartoony fursuits interesting but really want to go to a con or something, so does anyone know of some alternitaves , i would really prefer a fullbody hair appliance (the same thing special effects makeup artists use to slap beards on actors, but everywhere in my case) and a realistic/ applied mask, but cant find any thing on it, but any help would be greatly appreciated
submitted by septango1[link] [13 comments]
Favorite Furry web comic?
Hey guys i think the last furry webcomic i read was Concessions and i loved it, not so much for the main story arch but because of the relationship's and stuff like that. So i was wondering if you guys know of any more web comics that have gay relationship in them that the comic kind of revolves around or something of that nature.
Sorry if that is kind of confusing :/
Any help is appreciated,
Thanks!
submitted by MrPosotive[link] [69 comments]
Sometimes You Just Have to Live with Mistakes
I have written to you before, but I am in need of more advice. See, I am mated to this wonderful guy in Wisconsin (and have been since almost three years back.), and I myself live in Denmark, Europe.
In November-ish, 2011, I met another fur in Denmark whom fell head over heels in love with me and he still has a really deep crush on me.
Now, I've lived in Denmark since late 2010 together with other furs (I moved there from England due to homelessness) and the other furs have moved out, and since early December 2012, that fur that has a crush on me have moved in as I asked him to. (I have had a depression since 11 years of age, I have a hard time keeping positive if left alone for too long.) And since then, I have felt worse and worse, as he keeps getting either pissed off with me or really depressed/annoyed with me, because he knows he can't have me. I am stuck here and right now, I don't know what to do. I mean, I have to move to Sweden later this year as I am a Swedish citizen and I will be marrying my fiancé. But what to do about my friend, I would hate to lose him as he can be rather sweet. And what to do about him the last time here? Please answer this.
Rainbow Cheetah
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Dear Rainbow,
I understand that you asked this person to live with you because you didn’t want to be alone, but as you found out you were asking for trouble when you knew that this guy had a crush on you but you already gave your heart to another. It’s not at all surprising that he is upset with you; he probably thinks you were leading him on by your invitation, even though you weren’t. You knew that, but he didn’t.
Sometimes in life we make mistakes, and there is no magical elixir that can make them *poof!* disappear. You made a mistake and now you find yourself in a spot with no easy resolution.
I assume that your friend knows you are moving back to Sweden, yes? To be with your lover and get married, right? Since it is already May, that can’t be too far off. The best thing you can do for now is always be kind, considerate, and honest with him. He needs to be mature enough to recognize the reality of his situation and that he cannot have you as a mate. With luck, he will understand and you can keep him as a friend.
We cannot control the actions or emotions of other people. All we can do is be kind and honest and hope they will manage the rest.
Good luck with your future move back to Sweden and congratulations on the forthcoming nuptials.
Papabear
‘Redwall’ abbey Minecraft map first step towards 3D game
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/7OMCSi4.png){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/rIrF9FR.jpg){kind=link}
Any one know a good artist?
Hey guys does any one know a good, cheap artist i could commission to draw a couple pictures for my fursona? Any help would be wonderful. Thanks.
submitted by MrPosotive[link] [19 comments]