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This article is a counterpoint to Rabbit’s article published last Friday, Not-So-Distant Cousins.

Rabbit argues that furries and mainstream SF fans have a lot in common, that the two groups are similar enough such that “we should be treating each other as respected and beloved cousins, if not brothers and sisters.”

For evidence, he cites a common geekiness, a shared private language, a similar culture, and finishes by drawing a parallel between fursuiting and cosplay. He says:

“We’re all fen together, is what I’m trying to say. Natural allies, not rivals. I mean, how many places can you find people who not only enjoy discussing terraforming over barbeque, but are good at it? Not many, in this sad and intellectually-declining world.”

I disagree.

I need to be careful when I’m talking about SF and related fandoms. I’ve gotten a bit of grief from fandom insiders in the past about things I’ve written in these virtual pages, most recently when I delved into the psychology of My Little Pony. I get accused, by geeky fans, of being dismissive towards fandoms, or belittling, or elitist. (I suspect that some people would be unhappy with my use of the term ‘geeky fans’, but I think it’s clear enough.)

I don’t mean to be negative towards fandoms, SF or otherwise. I’ve never been involved with a fandom other than the furry community, so my perspective is that of an outsider. The value of a fandom is self-evident: if they didn’t have value, nobody would bother. And fandoms are full of great people too, although I wouldn’t go so far as to claim they are any better endowed with the good and the great, any more that the rest of the world. I’ve certainly met, mostly within furry, excellent people who are also fans. Rabbit counts among that group.

There is important history between furry and SF fandom: furry started its life as a distinct phenomenon as an offshoot of SF fandom. But this is furry’s history, not furry’s present. Nowadays furry is a stand-alone phenomenon, a community of people drawn together not by fandom of pre-existing works of art, but by a common perception of identity. We see ourselves in anthropomorphic animals, we think of ourselves through the lens of atavistic behaviour, and most of us choose to socialize in a half-imaginary world, as if we really were an animal-person.

“Hi I’m JM, I’m a horse” is very different from “Hi, I’m Matt and I like Star Trek“. Furry is personal: fandom is social.

Rabbit’s article is built around a great anecdote. He shares a terrible meal with a group of furries, talks about geeky topics, and has a whale of a time. He points out that the experience could just as easily been that of group of SF fans.

And perhaps it was a group of SF fans: lots of furries geeky sci-fi lovers, including some paleofurs (a great term I’ve gleefully stolen from Rabbit) who have been around since there was much less physical and philosophical distinction between the two groups. A full 60% of furries responding to the Furry Survey (now curated here at [adjective][species] as www.furrypoll.com) categorize themselves as “a fan of science fiction”.

Geekiness and SF fandom is a big part of the furry experience. But it’s only a fraction of furry culture, and it doesn’t define who we are. It’s the furry identity that binds us together.

There is a reason why we furries are drawn to the community, and it’s related to our internal world, not the external world that drives fandom. The furry experience isn’t easy to summarize, but I think it’s one united by introspective, personal things: our predilection to re-evaluate our sexual preference*, our non-mainstream sexual identity**, our non-mainstream gender identity***, our connection to the idea of transformation, our animal-person roleplay****.

* About 60% of furries will consider themselves heterosexual when they discover furry; that number drops to 30% after five years. (link)
** For example, about 15 to 20% of us are zoophiles (link). For further evidence, ask your friends about their f-list.
*** About 20% of us identify as something other than completely male or completely female. (link)
**** These are all just examples of course, and won’t apply to everyone.

Yesterday I had an experience comparable to Rabbit’s SF-filled meal. I visited an old Tudor house on the outskirts of London with a furry friend, to stroll around the grounds in full spring flower, see an animal-themed sculpture collection, and have our very own terrible meal. Like Rabbit, we had a great time, and it had nothing to do with a potato and leek soup that had clearly been made using powdered ‘french onion’ soup mix.

(The exhibit, ‘Beastly Hall‘, runs until 1 September 2013 at Hall Place & Gardens, Bexley, Kent.)

As we walked, we chatted about the furry experience. We talked about furry’s demographics, our collective reaction to death in the fandom, our sexual interconnectedness, the politics of uncommon sexuality, the experience of travelling overseas to meet a love interest, fursuiting, roleplay. We also took non-furry conversational diversions into areas of mutual interest. And I’d argue that’s what happened with Rabbit’s group: they talked terraforming because the group shared a mutual interest, one that happens to be related to SF fandom.

Rabbit also says that we furries share a private language with SF fans. He cites ‘fen‘ (meaning SF and other geeky-type fandom members), ‘mundane‘ (anyone else), ‘SMOF‘ (secret master of the fandom), ‘gafiated‘ (gotten away from it all), and ‘fafiated‘ (forced away from it all) as examples.

I’ve spent a lot of time as a furry and I can honestly say these terms, bar one, are new to me. Of them, I learned fen from a previous Rabbit article, and the other three are completely new, and actually kinda perplexing (what does a fandom master do, and why is it secret? what is the ‘it all’ that people might get away from? is that a good thing?). And the one term known to me—mundane—makes much more sense in a furry context. Compared to an animal-person, regular human beings seem totally mundane. I’m not sure I’d say that about someone compared to a geeky fandom member.

(Lest that final sentence seem too negative, please keep in mind that I’m an outsider to fandom. From what I have learned, within fandoms there often seems to be a wilful rejection of the outside world, a shared belief that being inside the fandom is something special. While I’m sceptical of the value of a group that implicitly rejects the outside world, I’m sure fandoms are spiritually fulfilling places. A bit like an Amish community, perhaps, but with better laptops.)

Rabbit is someone who straddles the furry community and sci-fi fandom. His mundane name is Phil Geusz, probably furry’s most successful author, and one of our community’s biggest names. His books are in close touch with the introspective furry experience: they dive deeply into what it means to be an animal-person, to be a furry.

The artifices of the various Geusz universe are often sci-fi, with technology such as genetic engineering providing an animal-person minority in a human population. But despite the sci-fi trappings, Rabbit writes quintessentially furry books. His themes are the thoughtful, introspective ones of furry.

Rabbit writes about religion: the spiritual aspects of furry (see The First Book Of Lapism). He writes about how it feels to be lost inside a furry skin, be it the intelligent nuance of his rabbits (see Ship’s Boy, which is free on Amazon) or the flighty pride of a cheetah (see Cheetah’s Win, collected in Roar #2). He is using sci-fi as a framework for a furry construction, something maintaining the logic of his worlds but otherwise rather beside the point. And that’s how I see SF within furry: it’s everywhere but it’s not relevant to the true furry experience.

As a final point of contention with Rabbit’s article, I also don’t agree that we live in a “sad and intellectually-declining world”. If that were true, nobody would be buying his books.

***

I came back from my trip to the animal exhibit to find a small group of furries, laptops out, playing Civilization and talking about programming philosophies. We’re a geeky group for sure. But it’s not what defines us.

Dear Papa Bear,

I have an issue with believing and trusting others with what they tell me. I don’t know if its me being so gullible or foolish. I want to believe those that seem so genuine. do you believe them and hold them to what they say even after a year or do you just give up and let go? I have felt so many things for those that have done this sort of thing to me. but to feel I have to constantly remind some one of what was agreed upon long ago, makes me feel like a nag. but then it upsets me that they cant remember what was said. for once it would be nice if they would remember and have "THAT WANT" to do and not feel like they have to do just because to get them to shut up and leave them alone. I’m really at a loss as to how to handle it. I feel when I speak my mind they feel it to be swat or a lash out at them. I gave up on that, you cant get any one to respond to hostilities. I don’t react to them well. 

So what would you do?

Honestly feeling left out to dry, 

Coony

* * *

Hi, Coony,

Speaking as someone who has sometimes had to renege on a promise, even a promise he wanted badly to keep, I would say that, in my case, it happens because circumstances or life changes interfere with my plans. Things that I wanted to do or had full intention of doing sometimes get left by the wayside because other things have come up. For instance, in my case, my partner got a serious foot infection and was in the hospital for two weeks and then needed home care for two more months. This put a kink in a lot of things, including his birthday party.

Sometimes, yes, people make false promises they have no intentions of keeping. Other times, however, people just aren’t able to keep those promises, or they have to delay them for a considerable amount of time. As a businessman (putting social settings aside for a moment) I deal with this a lot. People often promise to do things for me, or return calls or set up meetings, etc., and then I don’t hear from them. In one recent case, I finally called a business client, who then apologized and explained that her husband had had a serious fall and she simply forgot about our online meeting.

If you contact someone about an appointment and they give you a reasonable excuse and a heart-felt apology, you should accept that and move on without bringing it up again incessantly. On the other hand, if you figure out that people are just putting you off because they don’t honestly want to see you, then take that as a hint they don’t want to see you and find other people to hang out with (or, in the case of business, look for a new client). Obsessing about such things will just give you indigestion and heartburn and make you feel like crap. Posting about it constantly on social media sites will also lead people to perceive that you are a whiner, which is a big turn off for many people.

As someone who has been turned down a lot (e.g., 100 rejection letters for my first novel), I can understand the pain of feeling rejected. Usually—and many people don’t get this—the rejection is more a reflection on the laziness/selfishness/stupidity of the rejecter, rather than the rejectee. Since I’ve met you personally, I can say that this is the case for you. You are a very nice person, and it is the person who breaks a date with you who is the cad, not you.

[And, note to readers—yeah, actually, this is, in part, about me not keeping a promise with Coony to visit him. Nope, I certainly am not perfect myself—far from it. Indeed, I’m a very very flawed bear, but I always do apologize when I get things wrong, especially if I hurt someone’s feelings. Sorry, Coony.]

Hugs,

Papabear

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Hey guys. I'm really new to Reddit, so if this post isn't kosher, I understand. The rules don't seem to say anything about self-promoting, but if it's not cool, I apologize in advance.

EDIT: The TL;DR version? I has book. Friends say furries might like it because its star is a animal. Read it and love it? Yes?

Amazon Link: http://www.amazon.com/The-City-Smoke-Mirrors-Armadillo/dp/148261300X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361782274&sr=8-1&keywords=city+of+smoke+and+mirrors

First of all, this is an incredibly huge bit of shameless self promotion. See, I've recently published my first very novel - The City of Smoke & Mirrors - through a small print company, Pro Se Press. I'll talk about that more in a moment.

Second, I admit I was hesitant to post on here at first. I'm not personally a furry, though I mean absolutely no disrespect. I'll also admit that it's something I don't fully understand. For quite awhile, I (wrongly) assumed the idea of a furry was simply a sexual thing. A kink, if you will. And while there's still very likely a strong aspect behind that, having read a little bit into it through the helpful link provided here, I understand that it's a little more about power totems and anthropomorization. I've always been a fan of anthropomorphic characters, such as Ninja Turtles or an old cartoon called Dog City. To say nothing of great comic books involving anthropomorphics like Elephantmen and Blacksad (both of which I highly recommend). So, while I still don't FULLY understand it, it's not something I'm going to lambaste anyone over. It's your thing, not mine, and all power to ya for it.

That said, some friends of mine have suggested that my novel and its series could possibly sell well among the furry community. Hell, I'm willing to see if you guys are game. So let's get to some serious, shameless promoting.

The City of Smoke & Mirrors is the first in a series I'm calling The Armadillo Mysteries. I was greatly inspired by Simon R. Green's fantasy detective series, The Nightside, as well as John Zakour's sci-fi detective series that started with The Plutonium Blonde.

Given my love of superheroes, though, my series is - for lack of a better term - superhero detective fiction. Its star, Dilbert Pinkerton, is a 5-foot nothing mutant armadillo private detective. He digs for the truth. Dill's a right bastard. He's got a surly attitude to go with his chain smoking and borderline alcoholism. I'm sure you'll love him. In fact, I'll let him tell you about my book:

"The name's Dilbert Pinkerton, private detective. Friends call me Dill. I'm a mutant armadillo. I dig for the truth.

And the truth is I need to get out of the city, away from supernatural mobsters that want my carapace for a foot bath. So when some rich dame saunters into my Hovel Office with a job, I take it. Even if it's to retrieve a pearl necklace that's not hers. I'm desperate enough, I don't even care the job sends me to Nevermore Bay.

Yeah, Nevermore Bay: the city where some wacko in a mask hurdles across rooftops; calls himself The Buzzard. Criminals are scared pantsless of him. ‘Course, most people think he’s a myth created by the police department.

If you ask me, that’s a far more exciting mystery than some oyster’s cough drops. Maybe I can kill two birds with one stone during this vacation. If, that is, I don’t get killed by the police, Don Komodo’s crew that’s on my tail, some of The Buzzard’s rogues gallery or The Buzzard, himself."

And to finish off, here's an Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/The-City-Smoke-Mirrors-Armadillo/dp/148261300X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361782274&sr=8-1&keywords=city+of+smoke+and+mirrors

And the Smashwords link, in case you need a different format e-book format. If you DO decide to check Dill out, I hope you go through Amazon because it'll raise my rank on there. http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/288372

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Hello, I'm a college student who recently got laid off from my IT position, and am having to pay my way as is, so I currently have 3 dollars to my name.

I have to be able to pay for food, and my parents can't be of any help, so I'm going to do some commissions and ask the community for some support in return.

Let me know what you want drawn in a comment, PM, etc. I'll send you a sketch so you can let me know if I should change anything before I finalize, and when you have the completed drawing, you can have it for free. I'm not charging, just asking that if anyone wants to support me, feel free.

EDIT: My art is digital, high-resolution and detailed. I can do anything from cinematic scenes to forum avatars to reference sheets.

Furaffinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/euphonys/ (Brand new, no gallery)

Thanks for your time and understanding!

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Fur What It's Worth is currently between seasons. New episodes will begin on June 2.
Believe it or not, Roo and Tugs convinced three women to come to our recording studios and answer questions. How do they feel as women in the fandom? Are women really the minority? Do desperate men cling to them? In gender as big a deal today as it was in the past? Our burning questions are answered here and are officially on the record for everyone to see. Don’t miss our RMFC shoutouts at the end of the episode!



NOW LISTEN!

SHOW NOTES

Special Thanks

YOU! Thank you for listening to our little show. We really mean it every single time we say it! Thank you!
Our show guests: Happy, Gina, and Mystic.
Our emailer: Shyloh!
Gina, Lazer, SK, and Kadj for RMFC shoutouts! (If you recorded one and it isn’t here, don’t worry! It’s being saved for a special future episode.)

 

Music & Breaks

Opening theme: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Radio Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission.  (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Interview Opening: Shania Twain – Man! I Feel Like a Woman!. Nashville, TN and New York City, NY: Mercury Nashville, 1997. Licensed by ASCAP.
Furst and First World Problems Theme: Kenny G – Heart and Soul. USA: Concord Records, 2010. Licensed by ASCAP.
Interview Bumper 2: Breathe Carolina – Blackout. USA: Columbia/Fearless, 2011. Licensed by ASCAP.
Break 2: Kevin MacLeod – Heartwarming. Licensed under Creative Commons Share Alike.
Closing segment music: Incubus – Aqueous Transmission. Malibu, CA: EMI April Music Inc, 2001. Licensed by ASCAP.
Con Shout Outs: Junkie XL – Love Park. USA: Electronic Arts Music Publishing/Nettwerk, 2007. Licensed by ASCAP.
Closing: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Chill Out Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)


Creative Commons Attributions

News Theme 1 by Ithaca Audio Ltd is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
News Theme 3 by Ithaca Audio Ltd is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. The Best of FWIW: S2E11 – WTF?! There’s Women in the Fandom? - Fur What It's Worth is currently between seasons. New episodes will begin on June 2. Believe it or not, Roo and Tugs convinced three women to come to our recording studios and answer questions

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Dear Papa Bear,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He is in the closet and it affects how much we can communicate with each other. His major fear is that his family and friends won't accept him. I've never had problems with telling people that I'm gay. But, I can understand his fear, because we're both from very rural parts of Minnesota, and I've had my fair share of trouble.

I've come to terms with him refusing to tell his friends and family. I'm really curious as to what you think could be done to ease him to tell his parents. I love him so much, and I'll continue to sneak around like we do ... but it's not something I enjoy doing. What could I do?

Sincerely,
Sammi

* * *

Hi, Sammi,

Every person’s family is different. You may not have had too much of a problem telling your family you were gay because they were pretty understanding about it, which is very lucky for you, but your boyfriend’s family may not be so tolerant, which is why he refuses to tell them and why he is still in the closet.

Under no circumstances would I advise you to try to force him out of the closet, and especially don’t go telling people who don’t know he is gay that he’s gay. I remember when my ex did that, and it was super-embarrassing for me.

Do not coax or pressure him in any way. Let him make the decision on his own when he is ready to do so. In the meantime, just let him know that you love and support him no matter what, and if he needs to stay in the closet for a while, you will still be there for him.

Remember, they also serve who only stand and wait.

One day, inevitably, he will come out. Be patient.

Hugs,

Papabear

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