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How Should He Decide between a Mate and a Master?
Papabear,
First off, I'm Fenny. I'm a sixteen year old gay fennec fox, and my grandparents whom I live with have no idea about any of the following. My mom however, knows I have a boyfriend. Of note is that both my master and my mate are both long distance.
I've been in a relationship for just over 11 months now, and I recently ran into some issues with my mate. I've also had a master for about three years now, and that's what caused the problem. I love my mate and I'm loyal to my master, but they're both fighting over me and, not to sound dramatic, but I feel like it's killing me inside. Both of them expect me to go with them and both have discussed life plans with me on multiple occasions. I don't want to lose either of them, but I'm scared I'm going to lose both of them. My master and mate are both equally important to me, and every time I try to get them to talk rationally they start fighting. Everyone I turn to either insults me for getting into this situation, ignoring me, or giving just generally bad advice and I'm finding myself unable to sleep until late morning from stress. It's wrecking my life and sending all of my other relationships into death spirals. I don't know what to do anymore, and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep my "mask of happiness" on. Help me, please? If there's any other information you'd like about the situation, please don't hesitate to ask.
Fenny
* * *
Hi, Fenny,
Okay, two things here I can remark on that I hope will help. 1) no matter how much you or anyone else might protest to the contrary, a purely long-distance relationship is not in any shape or form the same as a one-on-one relationship where you are physically seeing the other person—at least dating or, better, living together. The question is: can you at least visit your mate and your master, spends some time with them in the same room? It makes a world of difference actually being together with someone when you can experience first-hand what being with them is really like. You might discover some things you don’t like about them that you couldn’t get from an online “relationship,” such as maybe they are sloppy, or bad with money, or are actually harder to get along with in some other way than online. This would go a long way in helping you decide.
2) While I have never had a master, it is my understanding that a “master” is not the same as a “mate.” A master is someone to whom you are a pet; this can have a sexual component to it, but often does not. In these relationships, of course, one person is very dominant, and the other is submissive to the master’s needs. A good master is always kind to his pet, but he (or she) is still the one in charge. While there may be a lot of affection involved, it usually is not of a brand that I would call romantic love.
With a mate, there is a loving relationship and both partners are on an equal footing. No one tells the other what to do, and instead there is mutual cooperation and a fair (ideally) distribution of both work and emotional care.
If it were me and I had to make a choice, I would choose a relationship with a mate over that of a master because a matehood is more of a soul-binding relationship, while a master-pet relationship is much more uneven.
Do you have to lose the master to keep the mate? Not necessarily. Depends on your mate. If you and your mate manage to live together and form a strong bond in which there is no risk of damaging egos or aggravating insecurities, then you could still keep your master in your life just as you might a good friend.
Another thing, though, is, if you manage the live-with experience and discover you actually like being with your master more than your mate, your master could actually morph into a mate who is also a master.
In the end, you do have to come to some kind of decision. So, as outlined above, make it an informed decision. Find out from real-life experience what it might be like to actually live with one or the other. The reason you can’t decide is you don’t have enough information.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
Papabear
First off, I'm Fenny. I'm a sixteen year old gay fennec fox, and my grandparents whom I live with have no idea about any of the following. My mom however, knows I have a boyfriend. Of note is that both my master and my mate are both long distance.
I've been in a relationship for just over 11 months now, and I recently ran into some issues with my mate. I've also had a master for about three years now, and that's what caused the problem. I love my mate and I'm loyal to my master, but they're both fighting over me and, not to sound dramatic, but I feel like it's killing me inside. Both of them expect me to go with them and both have discussed life plans with me on multiple occasions. I don't want to lose either of them, but I'm scared I'm going to lose both of them. My master and mate are both equally important to me, and every time I try to get them to talk rationally they start fighting. Everyone I turn to either insults me for getting into this situation, ignoring me, or giving just generally bad advice and I'm finding myself unable to sleep until late morning from stress. It's wrecking my life and sending all of my other relationships into death spirals. I don't know what to do anymore, and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep my "mask of happiness" on. Help me, please? If there's any other information you'd like about the situation, please don't hesitate to ask.
Fenny
* * *
Hi, Fenny,
Okay, two things here I can remark on that I hope will help. 1) no matter how much you or anyone else might protest to the contrary, a purely long-distance relationship is not in any shape or form the same as a one-on-one relationship where you are physically seeing the other person—at least dating or, better, living together. The question is: can you at least visit your mate and your master, spends some time with them in the same room? It makes a world of difference actually being together with someone when you can experience first-hand what being with them is really like. You might discover some things you don’t like about them that you couldn’t get from an online “relationship,” such as maybe they are sloppy, or bad with money, or are actually harder to get along with in some other way than online. This would go a long way in helping you decide.
2) While I have never had a master, it is my understanding that a “master” is not the same as a “mate.” A master is someone to whom you are a pet; this can have a sexual component to it, but often does not. In these relationships, of course, one person is very dominant, and the other is submissive to the master’s needs. A good master is always kind to his pet, but he (or she) is still the one in charge. While there may be a lot of affection involved, it usually is not of a brand that I would call romantic love.
With a mate, there is a loving relationship and both partners are on an equal footing. No one tells the other what to do, and instead there is mutual cooperation and a fair (ideally) distribution of both work and emotional care.
If it were me and I had to make a choice, I would choose a relationship with a mate over that of a master because a matehood is more of a soul-binding relationship, while a master-pet relationship is much more uneven.
Do you have to lose the master to keep the mate? Not necessarily. Depends on your mate. If you and your mate manage to live together and form a strong bond in which there is no risk of damaging egos or aggravating insecurities, then you could still keep your master in your life just as you might a good friend.
Another thing, though, is, if you manage the live-with experience and discover you actually like being with your master more than your mate, your master could actually morph into a mate who is also a master.
In the end, you do have to come to some kind of decision. So, as outlined above, make it an informed decision. Find out from real-life experience what it might be like to actually live with one or the other. The reason you can’t decide is you don’t have enough information.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
Papabear
Anthrocon: The furry Pittsburgh I never knew
Author: http://www.chicagonow.com/listing-toward-forty/2013/07/anthrocon-furry-furries-pittsburgh/ By Kim Z Dale, Monday at 1:44 pmAnthrocon is the world's largest convention for furries and their fans. Anthrocon is for people who love animal characters with human features and, more notoriously, people who like to dress like such animals. The Antrocon furry convention has been held in Pittsburgh since 2006. Sorry, Chicago. Anthrocon […]
Categories: News
Episode 4 (2013-08-05)
Guests? We don't need no stinkin' guests!! Kwandry and Kenson go it solo this week to discuss video games featuring macros, micros, stomps, rampaging, and just an overall sense of scale. We then debut our new (hopefully recurring) segment, "Macro Do's and Don'ts). And there's a new theme song this week. I hope you like it. PLEASE DON'T SUE US UNIVERSAL!!
Episode 4 (2013-08-05)
Categories: Podcasts
Jungle Boy and His Friends
Author: rodney Jungle Boy Productions describe themselves as ” concept development company specializing in character design & franchise development”. To that end they have created a series of t-shirts, art prints, and other tie-in items, all based around original chibi character designs — several of which are furry. Check them out at their Facebook page […]
Categories: News
Anyone interested in joined a roleplaying group?
We're a very small group of furries who enjoy roleplaying and are looking for new members! If you are interested, please contact me :3
submitted by YamiHagane[link] [10 comments]
Categories: News
When being both LARPer and fur combine...
Categories: News
Review: ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Rise of the Turtles’ DVD
Author: crossaffliction This is the first DVD release of the newest incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; this CGI cartoon debuted last year on Nickelodeon, and has been well received by fans of the older versions of the Turtles, as well as a newer fanbase in its target audience. This DVD contains the first […]
Categories: News
Jungle Boy and His Friends
Jungle Boy Productions describe themselves as ” concept development company specializing in character design & franchise development”. To that end they have created a series of t-shirts, art prints, and other tie-in items, all based around original chibi character designs — several of which are furry. Check them out at their Facebook page to see the latest designs they’re working on, or how to get your paws on what they’ve done so far.
image c. 2013 Jungle Boy Productions
Categories: News
Myself and a brony friend did a reading of Spiderses, complete with an animatic (X-Post via /r/mylittlepony)
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Since some said to post more of my work, here is the next piece in my pose challenge.
![[link]](http://www.livememe.com/8k5ff35.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/mi2DwpA.jpg){kind=link}
Categories: News
A furry chat room for anyone who is interested.
Just a chat room for furries to come and chill. WARNING: It can get a little NSFWish. http://www.chatzy.com/65296488986466
submitted by Antlerfabulos[link] [4 comments]
Categories: News
Review: ‘The Darkness’, by Eddie Drueding
Author: Fred The Darkness, a.k.a. “Arraborough, Book 2”, has a two-page “The Story So Far” synopsis of Book 1, The Unimaginable Road, but it seems more confusing than enlightening. Basically, The Darkness jumps right into the story in progress. If you have not read The Unimaginable Road, you should start there. If you have, even when […]
Categories: News