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KnotCast: Episode 234 – Hither and Yon
Financial/Parental/Urgent Help
Okay so.. This is going to be a TL;DR post for a lot of you so the short version?
Parents are fucking me over, dumping a lot of financial things on me that they KNOW I can't afford then refusing to help me pay for it.
My FA: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/believer
Long Version:
Oct. 15th:
EDIT:
Just thought I would add in some more information so people know a LITTLE more about the situation at hand instead of being left in the dark or whatever.
This has been an ONGOING thing that my father's been doing to me since I was about... 2-ish years old. I have suffered a LOT of emotional, mental, physical, verbal, and-- depending on how people would view it--sexual abuse from my father. I have constantly been told that I'm a failure, a good for nothing, a waste of space, a stupid sociopathic bitch, a waste of time, a disruption to the househole, and a slew of other things (including: "WELL. WE LOVE YOU, BUT.... WE DON'T LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE!" four years ago on October 31st, 2009 at 9:15am). My father and mother will deny all of this until they are blue in the fucking face just because they know it's not socially acceptable to treat your child like this in any way, but tell their friends that I'm lying (and apparently talk shit about me to their friends) just so that they can save their faces.
(I've already proposed to them the idea of me paying to stay here, but it was only $300 a month when I suggested it and they declined for MONTHS and now my dad pulls this bullshit? I offered that when I KNEW I had a job and was able to pay for things. I am more offended and pissed off than you can imagine that NOW he wants to start charging me 3-4 times as much as I was offering when I DON'T have a job.)
My father works for Boeing making WELL OVER $100 an hour and my mother is a stay at home mother. They both adore my brother more than me and it's painfully obvious in the way that they speak to/treat/spoil my brother while condemning me to being worth nothing more than the manure that my mother puts on the flowerbeds in the spring. I was the one who made straight As and Bs in school, was in honors classes throughout my school years and my brother was the one who made Cs, Ds, and Fs. But he was in band while I was the one who was interested in art. My parents have never supported me in my artwork for the last 14 years that I've been doing it. They also have told me since I turned about 5 that they refused to help me pay for college and that I was going to have to pay for it. They never said anything like this to my brother and are currently helping him pay for college right now. I'm pissed more than I care to admit.
My father also used to beat me across my bare ass until I bled for things that I didn't even do or things that were only mildly "offensive." Like I accidentally knocked my brother's mug off of the kitchen table when I was little because I didn't know it was there. My brother starts crying and my dad immediately gets out his belt, yanks down my pants and underwear and whips me across my ass until I can feel it bruising and bleeding. Then he yelled at me for an hour and grounded me for two months. All because of something I did on accident. I also have suffered dislocated jaws just because I was 1-2 minutes past curfew because either traffic was bad or we had to get gas or one of the lights around town lasted a little longer than it should have so late at night (as if 9 pm is late, but Huntsville, AL, mang).
The parents originally wanted to kick me out of the house at the age of 18 even though I could not get a job, you can't rent anywhere unless you're the minimum age of 19 so they VERY reluctantly let me stay. But once I lost my college scholarship because of jealous twats of art teachers? Aaaahhahah. I was practically kicked out of my house. That's when I went to go live with my now ex and after he and I got divorced my parents made it painfully clear that they didn't even want me moving back in and that I should just live in a car somewhere in an abandoned parking lot even though I didn't/don't HAVE a car.
And well... Here we are now. Yay. -waves flag around- I keep hoping that I will get called to substitute at some point this week. :/ THAT'S my job, but apparently my dad doesn't consider that a job at all and I'm still a useless fuck.
As regarding the last job I had working at a secondary loaner, I DID NOT WALK OUT. I had called the temp-agency lady who got me the position and proposed to her that maybe, since I kept getting calls to sub, that I should go and do subbing, but that I would let her know by the end of the day. WELL. I had an emotional breakdown two hours before I was supposed to leave and left early because I kept crying at work (lots of stress going on) and when I called the lady back to tell her that I would continue on doing it, she told me that she had spoken with the head guy who is down in Birmingham, AL, and the dude ended the assignment. So, no, I DID NOT fucking walk out on that job and any motherfucker who wants to tell me that I did will get my foot shoved so far up their asses that they can TASTE the rubber sole of my shoe.
Also, saying, "Hi, this is <my name> working for <company> regarding <so-and-so's> late car payment. When they get the chance, they need to call me back at <phone number>. Thanks! And have a great day! <3" or variations thereof for 9 hours a day on voicemail machines gets real boring, real quick. Especially because of someone like me because my father beat it into me that if I'm not doing something, then I'm a failure and I deserve to starve. So.
/endit
Dad's a dick. Pretty much told me that it's my own damn fault I don't have a job. Told me that I have to pay him $250 a month for rent that goes up by $50 every month. On top of that I also have to pay $250 a month for the car payment. As well as $100 for my phone, $100 for car insurance, $15 in internet, and a whole bunch of other things that will apparently end up equating to like... $900 a month. I can't afford that if I don't have the money and the only way I can get the money is if I have a job or get it from commissions, but people don't want to buy artwork from me. I can't get a job because I don't HAVE 3-5 years experience because no place will hire me because I have some amount of college credits and that severely hinders me. McDonald's won't even hire me because of the fact that I have college credits. My dad says I walked out on my last job when I DID NOT. And he's like, "Lol, everything's your fault!" He's just like everyone else who is telling me that I dropped out of college when I DID NOT. I couldn't afford college because my father makes too much money and no place would hire me so that I could make money to pay for college. My father refuses to help me pay for anything and he says he's "helping" me pay for college by opening up an escrow account where he will put the $500 a month I make from my ex that I will be using to help pay for part of the $900 a month to fund my college education.
And if I fail to pay that $900+ a month?
My phone and internet get taken away from me and I get kicked out of the house. I also lose the car so I will have to walk to my work if I ever get a job. And I live in Madison, AL. I would be walking on highways and freeways which is very dangerous and my parents could give a rat's ass.
I don't know how much longer I will have phone and internet because I pretty much just screamed at my father that, "IT'S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT. IT ALWAYS FUCKING IS. EVERYBODY BLAME CLAIRE BECAUSE EVERYTHING THAT EVER GOES WRONG IS ALWAYS HER DOING," then threw my phone across the living room, stalked into my bedroom and slammed the door shut so hard it bounced out of it's frame a few times until it finally stuck and I locked my door. He was telling me that everything that ever goes wrong is always my fault and blah, blah, blah. He's telling me that the reason I can't get a job is because I'm not applying or anything. What he doesn't know is that I spend 14 fucking hours a day looking for a job and just... Ugh. I can NOT help it if people only want to hire those who only have 3-5 years of job experience for entry level jobs. I can only put the ball in someone's court. It's THEIR job as hiring employers to contact me. I can only contact them so many times before I get told to not ever call back.
And I just.... I am crying so hard you guys don't even know. I can't see my computer screen and I keep crying harder and harder. I need help and I don't even know what to do. I can't do commissions because no one will buy them from me and just...
What do I do....
Oct. 22nd:
This shit just keeps getting better and fucking better for me. Mom made me an appointment for the dentist without asking me. I will end up getting slapped with $550 in fees because the cleaning was $300 and the filling I'm apparently supposed to get will be $213.
So yea. I REALLY need commissions you guys. This is getting fucking ridiculous. I CANNOT afford any of this shit and I am at the end of my fucking rope. I might be able to handle a large amount of stress, but this is getting to be too much and it's getting harder and harder for me to even get out of bed anymore. All I want to do is sleep all fucking day.
My parents won't help me pay for this and I don't have a job so there's no way for me to save up enough money (beyond what I have saved up for college) to even pay this off.
I'm just... going to go sit in my corner and twiddle my thumbs, now.
submitted by Telorian[link] [12 comments]
Episode 234 - Hither and Yon
Hey all. A few days ago I posted a link to my Furry-themed Graphic Novel, The Shuttered City, and got a positive response. Now I need your help to complete it! Please check out my Kickstarter.
Possible partials for Halloween? (x-post /r/fursuit)
Hey fellow furs, I hope this is the right place for posting this request. For my Halloween costume idea I actually need some partials: Ears, tail and paws. Halloween is only nine days away so I need to know if anyone would be able to create these partials or know someone who could in this limited time. Thanks in advance.
submitted by Sabel-Sabertooth[link] [1 comment]
Searching for a furry that I passed in the hall.
This is at Lindsay Place High School in Pointe-Claire, Québec. She is in grade 7 or 8 and wears a black collar and a rainbow-coloured tail.
I'm not sure if you browse /r/furry, but if you do, please respond to this post.
submitted by Mrocks2000[link] [comment]
[NSFW!!] Anybody knows of great artists that draws weed included masterpieces?
I want some weed smoking commissions of my fursona Wuffie. In order to spend money on the artpiece, I wanna look at it in 5 years and think: "Damn, that was a good investment"
Anyone knows some great artists that gladly would draw stuff like this?
submitted by Ynnor4009[link] [1 comment]
Furries more popular than ObamaCare
Could Furries Set Up Some Kind of Independent Furtopia?
My question here isn't too important, so feel free to put more important ones forward. This is just a curious question that I was wondering what your thoughts were.
Anyway, over the weekend, I attended a small furry party with some good friends. Eventually, conversation turned to how I want to move in with my best furiend and his polygamous mate come next year for class. I believe it will benefit all of us as they would get a larger area and much more opportunities for job markets as well, but they're still a bit hesitant. Another friend chimed in and began to talk about living in communities or apartment complexes, and eventually the conversation effectively turned into creating an all-furry community living together in a fenced in area. My friend and I were quick to point out similarities to nudist colonies and sex offender communities.
Now while the thought is somewhat appealing and my friends all seemed to show enthusiasm for such an idea to the point of developing other ideas which I'll explain later. However, I have my doubts. I'm not sure that creating such a community is wise as it effectively closes off the group from surrounding communities and becomes somewhat of an oddity. People tend to make fun of nudist colonies and avoid sexual offender communities with strict reasons. I'm not sure that would be healthy for the fandom much at all. The community, in my thoughts, would become an oddity, something to avoid and to poke fun at while holding interest for a while, but not inviting much variation.
The next idea to mutate from the community was a furry mansion that would be funded by kick starter and work like the "Big Brother" TV show that aired on MTV to gain money and donations from TV or Internet networks. Everyone also seemed rather enthusiastic about that idea as well, but again I was quick to question it. I would think doing that would make everyone involved into a spectacle. Actions change in front of cameras and boring actions turn people off. This would effectively turn the fandom (or at least the people involved and the fandom to people dim witted enough to associate those people with eye entirety of the fandom) into entertainment and possibly a joke. People want to be entertained. They want fights, sex, and drama, and based on the people involved... it just wouldn't work out well for everyone, I would think. I don't want to be connected with "Furry Jersey Shore" and I don't want to see my friends involved with that either.
The last idea to evolve, that sparked a very very long conversation about how it would be done, was building an off-the-grid furry community from the ground up in the wilderness and turn it into it's own, stable entity with farming and such, removed from society as much as possible. Basically, it would be built as a dome structure and also funded via kick starter. The plan is to span 25 acres with included farmland as far away from society as possible. This also doesn't sit well with me. Again, it's closing off the group from expansion and creating an oddity. Talk about similarities to M. Night Shymalan's (however you spell that name) "The Village" arose and I just felt even more turned off and worried about the plans for it. Apparently, floor plans are being written up and shared. I'm still very unsure and wary of the idea, even if building is a possibility, it just doesn't sit right. I'm all for creating a close-knit community, but I feel society is needed. I know I don't speak for everyone, but I don't really want to be a farmer, I'm majoring in microbiology. My friend has a degree in English and the other in game design. I know it all depends on what the person wants, but it still just doesn't feel right and bothers me somewhat.
Well this turned out to be a little weird and awkward to talk about. Maybe it's just me, but thinking critically about the ideas, I seriously think they are all mistakes. I could be wrong, but I'm just curious. What do you think, Papabear? I'd love to hear your take on this.
DT
* * *
Hi, DT,
This is an interesting mental exercise, but Papabear agrees with you that the ideas you and your friends were discussing are both impractical and unrealistic. I can see where they would have a broad appeal from furries who would like to escape from mundane society and exist in some kind of idealistic commune a la the 1960s Hippie era, but I am with you on this: it won’t work. Not only will it not work, but it is just a bad idea. Let’s go over the suggestions. . . .
The first proposal is to create some kind of fenced-off commune community analogous to a nudist colony (I don’t really like the idea of comparing this to a sex offender community, which is rather insulting because it implies we are pariahs). Of the ideas presented, this is the most feasible if the notion is to just have a bunch of furries in the same apartment building or condo association, perhaps. The difficulty here would be to manage to find such a building where you could find enough available apartments or other living quarters. Unless you all move into a new building that has yet to be rented out or sold, it would be very difficult to do. If you’re talking about finding some land, fencing it in, and living there, again, how would you manage to buy that amount of land? Who will finance it and build the structures, fencing, and supply the water and electricity and gas you might need? Or, are we talking about a more rustic feel where you are all camping and getting water from a stream or well (and then you really need to worry about monitoring water cleanliness) and maybe generating power from windmills and solar? Again, a big up-front investment. Or are you willing to live like pioneers? Building latrines and relying on candles and fires for heat and cooking and light? Somehow, I don’t find typical furries, with their addiction to the Internet and computer games, living so Spartanly. You will feel very isolated in your fenced-in community, indeed. Finally, there’s the drama issue, which furries are noted for. Who will be in charge of this community? How will you select leaders? Will it be a democratic society? If so, how will you run elections etc.? What a can of worms that will open up!
Your next idea involves getting some sort of TV company interested in funding your little venture. Problem #1 would be that, even if you got this going somehow, the producers would be picking the furries they wanted in the show and everyone else would be SOL. Then, as you state, they will want drama. Now, not a thing hard to generate among furries, but that will just result in competitions and hurt feelings, tearing apart whatever feeling of community you might have had. As you said, do you really want to be a furry version of “Jersey Shore”? Finally, what do you do when between seasons? How about after the show is cancelled, as it eventually would be even if it were a success. Bad plan.
Next idea was having a kind of commune set up, which is rather similar to idea #1. The extremely naive notion here is that you will miraculously be able to get it funded by a kickstarter. Now, for readers who don’t know what that is, a kickstarter is a program funded by investors usually to fund some kind of artistic project, such as a filmmaking venture. Ultimately, the kickstarter investors will want to see a return on their investment. What sort of ROI are they going to see from furries? A bunch of you dancing around nude on some farmland? A documentary of your venture? Some furry art? Hate to break it to your friends, but ain’t gonna happen—not on this planet, anyway.
All of these ideas, even disregarding their impracticality regarding finances etc., are wrong-headed. Papabear realizes that furries often feel alienated from the rest of society and wouldn’t it be lovely if we could set up our own kind of furtopia? But instead of separating ourselves from society and making us even more a target of suspicion and paranoia by mundanes, we should be trying everything we can to gain acceptance by society at large, just as people in the LGBT community have been trying to do for years, and, before that, all the brave people who fought for civil rights for minorities (although those struggles have been hugely more difficult and even lethal than anything furries have ever faced, so that’s really an unfair comparison).
Happiness and freedom are not found by running away from the world. They can only be found by confronting society head-on. And Papabear is completely on your side on this one, DT.
Hugs,
Papabear
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