Feed aggregator
Treating Your Mate Like a Dog Can Be a Good Thing
I am not really sure where to begin. I need some advice on my relationship with my mate. I have been with him for around 2 years now and it seems that every time I want to go out with one of my best friends or do something else besides be with him he says I don't care or that we don't have the same spark that we used too. How do I explain to him that I still love him just as much as I did a few months back? We have had this conversation over and over again but nothing seems to get any better.
Ryhan
* * *
Dear Ryhan,
What you have on your paws is an insecure mate. Insecure people need constant validation and get nervous when they are not in control of the world around them, including people who are close to them. Papabear doesn’t know enough about him to understand why he is so unsure of himself, but there are still things you can do to alleviate this without knowing the cause: a one-two-three punch approach.
Punch 1: Pardon if the comparison is a little insulting, but just like a dog with separation anxiety issues that tears up the couch and claws the door whenever you leave the house, you need to wean your guy off the habit of being upset whenever you do something without him. The way to do this is to start small and work you way up. It would be impractical for him to manacle the two of you together so you were always by his side, so I assuming he is okay with your going out to run a brief errand. Start with this, making your errands a little longer and more complex (one store then graduating to a couple stores, the post office, etc.) Then, once he is more used to that, have one or two friends over to your place. Make sure he is comfortable with your friends. Next, the two of you go out with your friends, finishing off with the shopping approach where you go out briefly with your friends by yourself, then go on longer outings. Even though you’re doing this by yourself sometimes, make sure to mix it up with times that both you and he go out together. But make sure you have a “Me Day” once in a while.
Punch 2: Use positive reinforcement. Whenever he does not get upset when you go out by yourself, reward him with a small treat, whether that is some food, or spending a little quality time with him, or giving him a big smooch, make sure he is rewarded for good behavior. When he behaves badly, do not punish him, but neither should you reward him. Ignore his hissy fits. This is how positive reinforcement works.
Punch 3: Do what you can to beef up his self-esteem. Compliment him when he does something well, thank him profusely when he does something kind for you, encourage him when he strives to do something new. Be supportive of his personal and professional goals.
Yeah, I gotta chuckle a little in that this is a bit like training your dog, but the psychology is the same. Just don’t give him dog bones for rewards :-P
Another thing you can help him with is understanding that relationships change with time. This doesn’t mean they get worse; they just change and evolve. Yes, as he noted, the honeymoon period may be over, but if he wants to be in a relationship that lasts more than a year, he’s going to have to recognize that this is typical of any relationship. You can’t honeymoon your entire life; it’s impractical and, let’s face it, exhausting. But! you can grow together, evolve together, help each other become better people, which is something we should all strive to do. People change, but love endures.
If his poor behavior continues after all this, the problem might be a bit more serious than we realize, and it could be that something in his past really needs to be examined with help from a professional counselor.
Either way, with a bit of work on both your parts, you can certainly get through this :-)
Hugs,
Papabear
Is Furaffinity Dying?
Hey /r/furry! It seems that some artists have stopped posting on FA and post art solely on Tumblr or Twitter, or post there more often than they do on FA. Weasyl didn't seem to have any success, and I'm assuming it's for the same reason. Do you feel that dedicated art sites are dying in favor of blogging/microblogging sites? Why?
submitted by wolfenfluff[link] [47 comments]
Bunnies of War: Cross Hares
A grim march across a hostile land, but with bunnies.
Cross Hares: Testing Ground
I knew I’d seen Jesse Labbé‘s work before. I was in Half Price Books and found a strange, magical little book–a historical record perhaps, or maybe a tactical guide, or possibly a prequel for a deeply bizarre game of tiny, furry vole-things in their crazy weird-tech fantasy battle. It looked like a promo for a board game that NEEDED to be played. Apparently, lots of fans–and the artist–thought so too.
Cross Hares: Testing Ground is a board game about bunnies in battle. There’s a little magic and a little weird tech thrown in, but at heart, these bunnies are on a grim march through hostile terrain. “Traps, enemies, and the land itself are against you. Lose your way, and all is lost, but what lies at the end of the path is worth the risk.” You may want to have “Apocalypse Now” playing in the background, for that fresh “grueling death march” feel. Or “Watership Down“, which is, also, a bit of a death march.
Game play is what Labbé calls a “trail-based board game.” In particular, he mentions “Fireball Island” as a strong piece of inspiration from his childhood–characters walk a winding trail around a volcano to steal a jewel from temple at the heart of the island, with cards, special spaces, and hazards to keep things interesting (otherwise, it’s Candyland with more fireballs). Personally, I’m reminded of ”Talisman.” Now there’s a game that ends friendships.
Anyway, the structure–a long, winding journey to the final goal. You play one of six characters (at least until the expansion sets hit), each with their own set of special abilities and equipment–the scientist, ranger mercenary, dark sorcerer, grunt soldier, bard, sniper. They are, all, for the record, bunnies. As characters advance around the board, you’ll open up Stronghold Cards (generally beneficial resource cards) Event Cards that change the game for everyone, Testing Ground cards (negative effects for your character), and so on–including Adventure Cards that open up side quests, with their own minigame board and rules.
I am amazed and alarmed by the art for the “Sacrificial Diving” adventure card.
Many of the cards change depending on who you are, where you play the card, who’s near you when you play it, particularly the Adventure Cards–there’s a “never the same game twice” element to keep the game fresh through multiple plays. Even the ending can change–you don’t always grab the magic crown or whatever, the final space may be one of a range of scenarios.
One REALLY nice touch–and I can see why the artist didn’t follow through with it–is that some of the cards that repeat themselves have a few different pieces of art. Since a big part of the charm of the game is its art and its long-suffering bunnies, that’s a real plus. Of course it’s time-consuming and expensive, so not all the repeating cards have a range of artwork, but still that’s a nice gesture to the players.
So far as Kickstarter projects go, after only two days, the game’s about 20% to goal, though the goal seems a little low compared to other projects of this scope…if there are any, this is an expansive project! It seems like it’d be in the publisher’s best interests to keep the stretch goals simple (one or two new characters, a new adventure–the one they’ve mentioned is an “origins” novella. This is game company 1agames‘s second big in-house project, and it looks like one that runs the risk of spiraling out of control and into Unmanageable Complexity Land if they cater too much to Kickstarters MOAR NAO! stretch goal culture. There’s an entire world in that box already!
Anyway, check it out–watch the video, look for the 3D printed bunny minis, and the full game board. Lots of art, lots of options, lots of rabbits!
Note: Images used above are included to promote the work of crowdfunding artists, and are owned by the original creator.
Non-Drug Therapies Can Help This Phoenix Suffering from Sleep-deprivation and Emotional Illnesses
What to do with a deceased friends fursuit?
A good friend of mine died this last Saturday and he owned a fursuit.
I have talked to his mom about maybe obtaining it, but that leaves me with a slight problem. Is it wrong to wear it? Like in memory of him. Or is it more proper to retire it? I mean I guess there's no real guide to fursuits like this.
I'm pretty much on the fence about what to do with the suit. I just don't want it to get trashed or anything.
It's rough since I have no idea what he would have wanted.... His death was rather sudden.
I guess I just want to talk to other people about this and see what the general consensus is.
submitted by theflamecrow[link] [43 comments]
Girls in the Furry Fandom.
I was actually going to post this as a comment in one of the posts, but I thought it deserved its own topic.
I was reading through /u/znailxxor 's poll post (super cool and informative! Thank you!), located here, and found a comment on the lack of lady-furs in the community.
This has been my personal experience. I'll do my best to keep it short.
I think there needs to be more general courtesy in the fandom before more females join. I don't mean the whole "gentleman" thing, but a general "treat girls like fellow furs" or whatever.
I've gone to a con before, and I'm very wary about going to one again. The amount of furs who think it's okay to grope, touch, and make inappropriate comments just because a fellow fur happens to be a girl is alarming.
I understand the fandom claims to be very "open" community, but it seems that a lot of times I encounter the "TITS OR GTFO" approach. Also, from the homosexual side of it, you hear a lot of "EW GIRLS HAHA" which is super rude. I mean, what am I suppose to say? "Sorry for being female"? So much for being accepting.
Now, I know there are a lot of good people/furs out there that are kind to everyone, no matter what, but to hear about such a "open and accepting community", going in, and being berated and inappropriately commented on because of gender? VERY not cool.
Just a small disclaimer, I'm not trying to make this a gender debate or a fight against guys in any way. Yes, girls can be just as bad as guys when it comes to this. What I'm saying, is that I just think we should all be cool towards each other. Lots of girls are fun and pretty, and great to hang out with! Yes! Added bonus of them being a furry? Coolio! However, I think there needs to be some thought put into the words you say to them. I, for one, have been scared out of the furry circle some time ago.
I don't have some tragic story over it, all I'm saying is just be cool. To everyone. Okay? Maybe we can convince girls to come in and not have them think the whole thing is skeevy because someone decided to run their mouth and say hurtful/inappropriate/rude things, or whatever.
Feel to free to comment and ask questions!
tl;dr Check yourself before you wreck yourself. And be nice to most everyone. You will attract all kinds of cool people!
submitted by TwerkOnThatShark[link] [91 comments]
S3 Episode 12 – Friendship and the Fandom - Roo and Tugs are joined by their long time friends Klik and T-Wolf in studio as they explore the world of friendship and how it connects to the fandom. Between all the giggles, we read your emails and share your
NOW LISTEN
Special Thanks
Zandafrost
Keirron
Pyro Husky
Danny
Felix
Kira the Fox
Kit Kat
Bree Pup
and Vinyl Scratch/DJ-Pon3, our guest announcer!
Music and Breaks
Opening theme: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Radio Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Closing: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Chill Out Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Next episode: Take a break from the holiday hustle and bustle with Fur What It’s Worth. Send us your voicemails and emails about the things you are grateful for. This is one of our favorite annual episodes, and we need YOU to help make it great! Send your responses by December 5, 2013. S3 Episode 12 – Friendship and the Fandom - Roo and Tugs are joined by their long time friends Klik and T-Wolf in studio as they explore the world of friendship and how it connects to the fandom. Between all the giggles, we read your emails and share your
You canines might find this interesting.
My new fursuit, what do you all think? <MFF2013>
Uh, hello!
Deep breath
So I'm very new to this "furry fandom", it seems to be called, and I don't know very much about it other than what I've been told by my friends and in drawings, and my friends pointed me to this dandy subreddit.
I have a few questions, if you all don't mind answering them...
What exactly is a "fursona?"
Where can I meet/talk with other furries?
Are there any standards or etiquette for furries?
I'll add/ask more questions as I think of them. :)
submitted by BlazingTheTrail[link] [37 comments]
Can anyone give me some good advice on making a scaley fursuit?
There are a lot of tutorials and stuff on making fursuits, but does anyone know where I can find a good tutorial for a scaley suit?
submitted by throwaway_dragon[link] [3 comments]
Furrs at MFF, about how much is this trip costing you? Including food, hotel, gas, and spending cash, ect. how much would I have to save up to go next year?
More and more I'm wanting to go to a convention and I'm curious how much money I'll have to save up to make the trip. Are you guys sharing rooms? Where can I find people to carpool with ( have a car but it's good to share seats because I'll save on gas money right?) and split hotel costs? How much of your trip is planned ahead of time, places to eat ect. Got any tips or general advice?
submitted by SkyF0x[link] [22 comments]
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/m3uydlv.jpg){kind=link}