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I have enough money to buy a custom tail for myself. I'm planning on wearing it on the last day of school. Should I proceed with this?

submitted by ShadowFur17
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submitted by shazoom
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Hello again, dear bear,

It's The Listener again. It's been a long time since I wrote you last. Jan of 2013, I believe. I had a bit of a mix up with my now ex-mate, her married partner and their cub.

As it went, that relationship just ate itself from the inside out and there really wasn't much her partner or I could do. He and I are actually better friends now than we are with her. Sad to say we actually tried to keep everything together more then she did.... In the end, she is now with a new male and left the rest of us kinda wondering what the hell happened.

But now I have a new problem. How to let go?

After the big break up, I moved back to where I started and have been putting my life back together. My ex-mate and I tried to restart our friendship. And it seemed to be going well! Then about two months later, she suddenly just stopped talking to me or anyone we knew.

I'm left feeling lost and hurt. Wondering what the hell I did wrong when I know all the drama was pretty much on her end.

So I guess I just need help moving on and letting go?

I'm still upset about not getting at least a warning she suddenly wanted to end even our friendship.... We talked pretty much every day for over four years. I just don't know what to do with this sudden whole in my daily life. When I say we talked every day, I mean we talked like all day ... before work, breaks at work, and then late in to the night after work.

I'm trying to put myself and my life back together....but it's hard when such a big part is missing.

Thank you for you time,
The Listener

* * * 

Dear Listener,

As we go through life, we will meet a number of very special people who will later leave us. Sometimes through death, sometimes they just fade away after moving to another part of the world, and sometimes there will be a fight and a division that way. Whether, in the last case, the fault lies with you or the other person really becomes irrelevant after a few years when the relationship is irrevocably split.

A lot of people, such as yourself, talk about “getting over it,” meaning, really, “How do I stop being sad about the end of a relationship?” Two possible answers: if you are a person without a heart, you will easily dismiss the experience and go about your merry way without a heavy heart, but if you have a heart, you will always feel the pain to some extent, though it may fade some with time. Since you are still disturbed by what happened, the good news is you aren’t a heartless furry. 

In this bear’s opinion, there is a reason that in life we experience sadness and pain, and that is to learn from what has happened and, hopefully, correct it. But it is also so that we can treasure the bright moments in our life all the more. If everything in life were sunshine and roses, we wouldn’t understand and appreciate the good things in life.

My advice to you is to, first off, not try to get over your friend. You should remember the four years you had together and cherish the parts of it that were happy. Secondly, you need to try and learn from this. Rereading your past letter from 2013 (http://www.askpapabear.com/letters/this-love-triangle-is-further-complicated-by-a-cub), the basic situation as I understand it was that you were a third party to a couple who had a child together. You talked about how you didn’t really want a cub in your life, so it was pretty clear to me this was not going to work out. “What the hell happened” was that she, the cub’s mom, couldn’t handle the polyamorous relationship as well as you and he thought she could (I’m assuming the cub is with her?)

The lesson here for you to learn is not to step in it, which you have in a big way. That she actually tolerated your moving in with the father of her child is really quite surprising and amazing. I’m not sure what was going on in her head, but evidently she was trying her darndest to maintain some sort of cohesion with the father of her child, even if that meant tolerating another woman in the mix. Astounding, really, in my opinion. Her reconnecting to her ex likely has to do with her concern for her child, while her silence toward you is likely caused by her finally reaching her limit and no longer wishing to endure “the other woman.” She apparently put up a good front for a long time, even trying to be friends with you, but now she’s done.

Yes, this is speculation on my part, since I have not spoken to her, but it seems a logical conclusion, given the circumstances.

As I said, then, take this time in your life and reflect on the good and the bad of it. Learn from it. Do not “get over it” or forget about it, because there are valuable lessons to be learned here, especially concerning walking through a minefield when you are the foreign soldier in a strange land.

Good luck,

Papabear

submitted by mistriliasysmic
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submitted by Red-Fox14
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submitted by Jackster22
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submitted by rebelrealm
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So, I'm not exactly that big on going out and making friends in the real world, even more so now that I've finished my second year of high school. I don't want to just stay in my room all day and I was wondering if there are any other high school furries in South Florida that might want to hang out over the summer.

submitted by Mr_Lego
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submitted by uzzeee
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I fell in love with her style, but sadly she no longer takes head commissions so I'm out of luck. If anyone knows a maker with a similar style id really appreciate the help!

Example of Oneeyeddoe's style: http://i.imgur.com/Fcy5AQ5.png / http://i.imgur.com/VVxBG37.jpg

submitted by Yiffing_Time
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submitted by VoidOcean
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Just to preface, I'm not 100% sure that I'm in the right place, but I figured there's no harm in asking.

To be up front, I own and operate a small publishing company that focuses on making role playing game supplements, such as adventure modules.

One of the projects we are currently working on is a fantasy campaign setting, and one of the species/races that will be included in the core book is "Bestials" (for lack of a better term, atm). They predominantly inhabit a chain of large islands in a temperate/tropical climate. While they may resemble large feline or canine anthramorphs, the core book will treat them as the same species, although that may be further extrapolated in future supplement books.

One of the combined projects is creating a digital "Random NPC Generator" which displays the name, various personal traits, current mood, etc. We currently have hundreds of names for the other races (Human, Elf, Dwarf, and Orc), but we're partly at a standstill on the "Bestials".

What we're looking for is either a list of possible character names to plug into the database for the program, or your recommendations.

Thank you for any assistance.

submitted by tzimon
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submitted by whud99
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submitted by Lethero1
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submitted by Hemms3
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Psycologist, hypnotist, and philosopher, A.B. Curtiss is also and accomplished author with several award-winning books to her name.  And several of her fiction books just happen to be of interest to furry fans. Legend of the Giant Panda (illustrated by Mirto Golino) is exactly what it sounds like: A mythic telling of how pandas got their distinctive black and white markings.  Hallelujah, A Cat Comes Back is a “cat book of virtues”, where a young tom gives us the feline wisdom brought down to him from his wise granny-cat. Illustrated with a collection of Victorian feline prints. Dragons Guard The Zoo is a collection of poems on many subjects, including animals real and fanciful. And In the Company of Bears (illustrated by Barbara Stone) has been described as a “children’s philosophy book”, in which bears are used to illustrate soothing rhymes about accepting people for what they are. All of these and more are available on Amazon and at Ms. Curtiss’ web site.

image c. 2014 A.B. Curtiss

I'm writing, and really, I'm stumped here, help me out. Pads of their paws? Ridiculous alliteration, unacceptable. Paw pads? Even more awkward. Just palms? I'm not writing about fur just to fall back to distinctly human anatomy. Pads of their hands is, technically speaking, reasonable, because we can consider paw to have a double meaning, functioning both as a general term for both feet and hands, and as a synonym for hand. I don't hesitate to use hand alongside paw on occasion, if neccessary. However, mashing together animal- and human-derived words in a single term such as pads of their hands is not pleasing at all. I'm about to fall back to options #1 and #2 and just try to make it work.

However, this all is assuming there is some sort of pads to talk of. That makes it a wider matter of anatomy rather than just nomenclature. How would that work, exaclty, while maintaining human-level dexterity? We need long, multi-jointed, independently moving fingers, and that defeats the point of paws and simply puts hands on our precious creatures. Can we have something that works like a hand but is paw-like enough to be called a paw and satisfy our need for adapting names from animal anatomy? Should we just give up on paws and accept that hands are one of the most important features of humans and therefore of an anthropomorphic creature? When I look at art - realistic enough to be relevant - I almost always see fur-covered hands, not paws. Can we still call them paws despite that, just for fun? To go back to the root issue, can we then talk about the palms of paws, having turned the distinction from a physical one to one of convention? I'm beginning to lean towards just that.

This is all easy to gloss over, but there comes a point at which I don't want to ignore it.

Also, how on Earth would footwear for a digitigrade biped look like? Does anyone know of good visual examples? Again, easy to avoid, but it's bugging me.

edit: than you for your insights, you are all awesome and I want to hug you

submitted by orost
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submitted by FrankfurterSinatra
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For some reason, around every week, I always act kind of... Gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I absolutely love feeling that way! But whenever I am like this, I walk, talk, sound, sit down, stand up, and act WAY differently than I normally do.. And the hard part of being this way, is trying to not have my extremely homophobic brother question why I act this way, because he says that if I ever turn out Bisexual (to which I am now) or gay, that he'll beat me until I'm straight again, and even though I know he won't do that, I'm still afraid to what he will do. Nobody else knows this. Please help me figure out why im like this, and how I can control it around my brother.

Thank you.hugs

-Wulvy

submitted by wulvsbayne269
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submitted by Kansyr
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