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New documentary by Ash Coyote!!!! OMG!

The creators of “The Fandom” are excited to present our second feature documentary of 2020: HERO. Join us as we follow Hero, a 24-year-old furry diagnosed with cancer, on a journey of self discovery as he gets his first fursuit.

Trailer: Hero

Okay, don’t ask us how we missed a graphic novel series with a title like Pirate Penguin vs. Ninja Chicken. But now we’ve found it, thanks to IDW Publishing. “Pirate Penguin and Ninja Chicken are friends. Or maybe they’re enemies. Heck, if they can’t keep track, then how can we!? Whatever they are, they’re definitely hilarious. We think you’ll like this book: there are about a bajillion jokes inside, and it’s filled with action, adventure and arguments. Sometimes the stories are really teeny, about stuff like ice cream smoothies or making fun of your friends (just like real life!), and sometimes the story gets really epic-tastic, filled with spaceships and giant monsters and evil koalas and stuff (just like real life!). Plus, since it’s about pirates, there are at least 17 sword-fights (that’s the rule with pirates).” Written and illustrated by Ray Friesen, PPvsNC has two volumes out in hardcover with a third one due next summer.

image c. 2020 Penguin Random House

Species: Wildcats is a recent installment in a series of short story anthologies arranged by theme according to their protagonist’s species. In Wildcats, our focus is on felines, and each story features a large cat character. The anthology opens with some public domain works, beginning with William Blake’s "The Tyger" followed by one of my favorite short stories of all time," The Lady and The Tiger?". Next up are a pair of folktales that add a nice touch of both lyrical language and dark grimness which perfectly captures the overall tone of the anthology. The rest of the stories are reviewed individually below.

"Wanderlust" by Cedric G! Bacon:

"Wanderlust" is the story of a bobcat ghost who befriends a tigress with a long history of being abused and subsequently abuses her. Because I was intensely triggered by this story, I am unable to give it an unbiased review aside from saying that it has some glaring tense issues that didn’t get caught in editing and that it very much needed a trigger warning for Abuse, Rape, and the way it portrays violence against women. [Editor's note at end]

"The Corvette Nedra" by Sonriah Thais:

The second “new” story in Wildcats is a science fiction story about a Felid Tiger stranded in a ship’s graveyard who attempts to steal a derelict ship with the help of its sassy A.I. This is a really cute and sweet story with a twist that, while somewhat guessable, was still really fun. It was a light, refreshing read to follow the opener, though it too suffered from the tense issues that, oddly enough, are sort of consistent across the first half of the book.

"On The Hunt" by Ferric the Bird:

This is another story with a sprit of fun behind it. It opens very originally with a protagonist who is playing out their sentence in Hell. We learn as we go that Jake is a demonic agent who is often sent back up to the world above to catch other demons who are breaking the rules. The opening scene in Hell was witty and delightful, and the story has a good pace and clean writing. I found the over-sexualization of all the female characters a little tedious, but it fit the theme and the character well.

"What It Means To Be Loved" by Isa Al-Ramad:

Here is an interesting inclusion of a pro-religion story in which a gay Lynx deals with his love for his husky friend. Instead of rebelling against his faith’s teaching that gay sex is “wrong,” the character follows the tenets to the letter. And this is where the story really challenged me. It is very sweet and gentle, and I found the description of the “three types of love” interesting. But while there are many valid and beautiful reasons for a protagonist to seek out a relationship without an erotic/sexual component, the fact that he did so because gay sex is “wrong”, made me intensely uncomfortable. I’m still attempting to digest this story and to parse where the line should lie between pro-religion and anti-gay. For me, this story left me sad and a little disappointed and so wasn’t quite a win. I would have loved to see a pro-religion story that highlighted the support, charity and forgiveness religion can provide rather than one that seems resigned to something that felt discriminatory.

"Fathers To Sons" by Mikasi Wolf

This was the first story in the book that hooked me entirely. It’s a tale abut a lion who has been conscripted into the service and his experience in boot camp. I loved the deep way we’re embedded in the character, the language, and the sensitivity of this story. It was one of the cleanest written pieces as well with a heartwarming ending and marked a distinct uptick in the stories in the book for me.

In Search Of The City Below by Thurston Howl

Start with a Siberian Tiger on a search for Atlantis, and you’ve pretty much won me over. Add in a skunk, some twists, and Howl’s lovely, solid writing and this story was all win. Like all the stories in the second half of Wildcats this one is well-written, enjoyable, and lovely.

"The Night The Stars Fell" by KC Alpinus

This story was a re-read for me as I’ve encountered it before in another publication. It is written in lush descriptive language and deeply embedded in culture and history. The tale relates the trials of Arrow Stars and her betrothed Obsidian Fang as they attempt to save their people from the influence and treachery of foreign invaders. The language is beautiful, and the treatment had a ring of authenticity to it that makes this story an absolute delight.

"Ember In The Night" by Ban Wynn Oakshadow

Farrah is a mystical tiger in the midst of one of his people’s most holy ceremonies. He is devout and has ascended to one of the highest levels he can attain in this existence, until one of the lowliest of creatures teaches him a profound and heartbreaking lesson about love, faith, and change. The tone in this story is delicious. The writing is rich and lyrical and, while a little slow at the start, so enjoyable to read. This story is poetic, and to me was the real gem of this anthology. I fell in love with both the message and the writing and it let Wildcats end on a very high note for this reader.

Overall, Species: Wildcats was something of a mixed bag. Most of the stories are well written and fairly polished, and I found a good mix of lightheartedness, sharp wit, and dark contemplation. It is, in my opinion, not a book for the very sensitive reader. But if one enjoys stories that really challenge them, maybe even keep them up late at night, then you will definitely find what you’re after here.

[Editor's note: Regarding the lack of content warnings, the publisher does apologize for this. Due to a moving situation at the time of formatting, it was definitely overlooked by Thurston Howl. However, THP has long been a proponent of including content warnings in creative projects, has done so both before and after this title but definitely dropped the ball with this one. So Thurston Howl humbly apologizes and promises to do better with that in the future. It is no fault of the editor.]

SPECIES: Wildcats, ed. by KC Alpinus

MOOBARKFLUFF! Click here to send us a comment or message about the show!

This week we chat with Path Hyena about Furry Cons, what it is like being a con chairman, and how it feels to finish being chairman. We chat with a fur during Five Minute Furs for Fun. Taebyn tells way to  many jokes  Are math millennium problems the same as millennial problems? Can a Shovel Jerk be a Black Happy? This week we break the record for length of our podcast, but we know you will enjoy our time together. Bearly and Taebyn are waiting for you to login and listen!

Support the show

Thanks to all our listeners and to our staff: Bearly Normal, Rayne Raccoon, Taebyn, Cheetaro, TickTock, and Ziggy the Meme Weasel.

You can send us a message on Telegram at BFFT Chat, or via email at: bearlyfurcasting@gmail.com

Bearly Furcasting #34 - Path Hyena, 5 Minute Furs, Math, Really Bad Jokes

This cute holiday commercial comes from the before time but since it’s near the holiday check out this cute hedgehog.

The film shows Freddie the hedgehog vulnerably crossing a road at night. His rescuer is on his way to see if he has the winning ticket when he just manages to avoid hitting Freddie. Instead of driving off again he stops to take Freddie back to his home to recover. Ultimately, they both find happiness in helping one another and we see no amount of money in the world can top that.

New Year’s Eve Lottery

Hello Papabear, I have a question for you.

So when I grow up, I want to be an artist. I really love making art, it helps me express myself in ways I cannot to otherwise. It also helps me make others happy, which is one of the things I very much love doing.

Now I’m sure you’re aware of the major differences between drawing on paper and drawing digitally. I want to try and transition more into digital art on my computer so I can not worry about eraser marks messing me up and being able to color better and what not. Plus, it’ll help with my future job as an artist.

I also love playing video games. I have a few consoles, namely Nintendo ones like the Switch, and I play some games on my computer too. Usually my parents let me play however long I want as long as I have schoolwork done and don’t have any chores. I also cannot be on electronics after 9:30 PM.

Recently my school has gone to full virtual, meaning me and my little sister are going to be stuck at home. I was hesitant about drawing for a while because I felt like I wasn’t good enough and I would just do some sketches in my sketch book once a month. I’ve gotten the confidence now to start drawing again and I want to go back to digital drawing to improve my skills, which I need my computer for. But my parents said that since me and my sister are going to be home all the time, we are only allowed 4 hours on our computers a day and no time extensions.

This puts a limit on how much I can practice my drawing. I want to be able to draw on the computer, but also do my games too in a single day without feeling like I have to do one or the other because of the time limit. And what confuses me the most is my parents still let me use the Switch and my other consoles as much as I want as long as I have schoolwork done and no chores.

So basically I want to have more time on the computer to draw, but I’m afraid they’ll get mad at me and think I want it just for my games. What do you think I should do?

-Cass

* * *

​Dear Cass,

I think what your parents are trying to limit is you and your sister doing unproductive things online (or what they see as unproductive) such as playing games or chatting on social media. This is different from your working on your skills as an artist.  My advice would be to talk to your parents to better define computer time. For example, doing school work on the computer is not something they would try to limit, I would think. Similarly, if you explain to them that art is something you are serious about and might even make a career of, and that learning to use a computer to create digital art is essential for a career in, say, graphic arts, then they should look to this time as being career-oriented.

So, when you talk to them about your art, don't describe it as being for fun and laughs but, rather, as a serious educational pursuit to develop a marketable skill set. Then, while agreeing to the time limit for games and social time on the computer, tell them you need a separate standard for computer time when it involves your education, whether that is for school or for developing your knowledge and ability to create art digitally. Oh, and it would help a lot if at least some of the art you are creating is not furry related. Work on stuff that could have commercial value, such as creating logos, drawing buildings, or portraits of people. These are all things that can help your furry art, so it's not wasted time by any means.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

Hugs,
Papabear

Beautiful short with a very sad topic.

Scientists were predicting for quite a few years that things would start getting bad for penguin populations and now researchers are already seeing a decline in the Antarctic.

“A penguin tries to save his family from the damage that global warming has caused to their habitat.”

Melty Hearts

How to know you are in your true sexuality, or in-denial, or obsessed about sexuality?

Good day, Papabear!

I apologize if this might seemed to be too ranty or seem immature. I ask for your patience if there are grammatical errors. English is only my second language. I hope expressing my secrets on this site will help me to connect. I've been keeping this secret for so long.

When I was a child, other kids labelled me as gay or bisexual because they said I was too nerdy, lanky, soft, and effeminate. They even said I act more delicate and sensitive than most of the other girls. Due to that, I felt like it became a "licensed" for other boys to dominate me. There was a time, someone humped; other times, they showed their dick print; and usually they are caressing me like I was a dainty little girl. I know this because they emulate a certain show where a girl is surrounded by boys, and they treat me like I was that girl. Also, when I was much younger, my brother, who is two years older than me, engaged me in gay sex. It so happened that he experienced the same thing with his male classmates and our much older cousin. My thoughts during that time are empty. I don't know what we are doing during that act. Did I like it? Am I in denial? Am I truly straight? I hate that experience.

I don't want to become someone's bitch. I don't want to be submissive. I hate they abused their power against me. If only I am not a weak, passive, and introverted, and trying to maintain the image of "be a good boy who hurts no one," I'll fight them off. The thought of someone who is much stronger, bigger, virile, and loud, dominating a weaker person feels so unpleasant. Yet, here I am in a rabbit hole of NSFW furry art, searching for furry porn that usually has themes of solo, muscled males, and then eventually to big dom/small sub.

My liking for anthros or kemono characters, beastmen & human girl pairings, obsessions about having a well-built muscle (and, embarrassingly, being well endowed), playing video games, and idling around the internet served as a gateway for NSFW stuff which started around 2014. It started at first in searching beastman and human girl pairings, until I went to gay content. (They are usually much well-drawn, and are much well-endowed and muscley.) At first, I was repulsed, yet I've observed why do I feel something in my groin? It seems I automatically to "self insert" my consciousness on them. It was like "how would I feel if I was them?" I strongly felt unpleasant whenever I view NSFW arts that have tags of rape, M/M or M/F sexual humiliation, gore. I keep searching them. I should separate the feelings from fantasy and reality. But, I can't stop that bad feeling and mental image to go away.

My thoughts told me that "you felt erection especially on M/M, so you must be gay. You felt your heart beat faster, and sudden heavy force in your stomach. That must be your arousal. You need to accept it by exposing yourself or else you are homophobic, and you are living a lie. You see that? the submissive male is you. It became my compulsion to masturbate on that stuff, yet I am so confused if I actually enjoy it or not. This became my midnight ritual: search for furry porn, then masturbate--almost everyday even now. I felt nervous if I don't flush the toilet three times and If I don't pour water around its rim, or else they might found out how disgusting I am. Since I am always sleeping past midnight, it affected my school performance noticeably from 3rd year high school, and it even affects my performance in college which is BSME (I know this course needs a lot of attention, yet I am distracted so I don't have stellar performance). What once have been a brilliant mind (as esteemed by my close friends, family, and self) to a severely crippled, distracted, weird mind (I don't opened this to any of them except for a very few because I know this is weird, in a negative way, cringy, and pathetic from outside view).

On June 2020, I opened this to my classmate who also happened to identify himself as gay. After I revealed this secret, I asked him if I was truly gay or something . He said I might have unconventional interest, but others have much weirder than that yet lead decent lives. He doesn't sense any kind of "gay energy" within me. He said I might be too obsessed and a perfectionist. I felt a short term of respite, but they are not completely gone. If I don't want to belong to any label, am I queer? What if I was just a male who happens to act softly? What if I was lying myself this whole time?

I felt usually in low energy. My brain seems to be foggy and full of random and intrusive thoughts (aside from above, there are thoughts showing me licking the feces on the road or on toilet. There are thoughts showing randomly while I'm doing everyday tasks where a dominating virile monster is on my back and trying to sexually subdue me). I don't enjoy these thoughts, but why I'm having erection?

Does this signify that I'm gay or bisexual in-denial? Was it due to my obsessiveness? I don't know. I just want to cleanse my mind. I just want to be free from these feelings. I can't afford therapy, because we are poor (You do not need to be obligated to help in financial matters). What I've read from psychological self-help books like "The body keeps the score" and a few others is that trauma from childhood manifest themselves in a variety of ways. Also, sharing secrets to others anonymously especially in safe places will help alleviate the distress even for a short time, and worry about the fear of being found out in person. I don't have to worry about someone who I share my secrets with, seeing me.

I know that you have your own problems. I am sorry if I did add some burden. I felt like managing this kind of page is mentally exhausting, but I am still sending you this.

Who knows? My confession might be one of the catalysts for healing.

Thank you so much for your time and understanding. I am grateful for your efforts.

Have a good day!

Anonymous (age 21, The Philippines)

* * *

Dear Furiend,

Thank you for writing such a deeply personal and important letter to me. And, yes, writing your thoughts and feelings down can be helpful. In fact, if you don't already do so, consider keeping a journal and writing your feelings and thoughts down every day. It can be very therapeutic.

There are a few things to address here, so bear with me (pardon the pun). First of all, it is entirely possible for a man to have "effeminate, girly" qualities and still be straight (just as you can have very masculine men who are gay--leathermen and bears). What we consider to be effeminate or masculine is not biological; it's purely cultural. In some old cultures, for example, women did the hunting and men weaved baskets and took care of the children. A little more recently, back in the early 20th century in America, at least, pink was a color that boys wore, and blue was for girls. It was only much later that there was a switch. Today, men enjoying "girl" things is sometimes called "metrosexual." Of course, the opposite can be true for women. They can enjoy "guy things" (like racing cars, engineering, boxing) and still be heterosexual. Culture can be a trap. Being kind and sensitive like you are isn't weak or girly, either. It takes more strength to love than it does to hate. And, if you feel physically weak, well, there's nothing that says you can't go to the gym and work out and still enjoy being sweet and gentle.

Next topic: rape. If you are sexually molested (this doesn't have to involve penetration but can include things like inappropriate touching, shaming, groping, or even teasing you by displaying their own sex organs, etc.) by family members, classmates, or whoever and forced to have sex against your will, that's rape. Rape is often not a sexual act but, rather, an act of assault. "Butch" guys who are insecure in their masculinity will often go after someone who seems weak to them and assault them physically and sexually to "prove" they are strong (in reality, it does the opposite). To do so is meant to humiliate the victim, not to prove that he or she is gay. If you are a victim of such an assault, the thing to do is report it to the authorities. You don't say whether you did that or not, but I hope you did. I'm not sure by reading your letter whether or not the thing with your brother was consensual. It sounds like he initiated it and you just went along with it, probably because you felt pressured to. Again, because you are a sweet, sensitive person, others perceived you as being weak and took advantage of you. That in itself does not mean you are gay. Homosexuality, bisexuality, and other orientations are biological. However, being assaulted can certainly turn you away from the gender that abused you. This is a topic that has filled many books, so I don't have room for it in this column, but there are many aftereffects of rape, and one of these can be questioning your sexual orientation (as you wisely noted).

What do you do now? First, you need to try to recover from the sexual molestations you have suffered. This article summarizes the many things you can do, including everything from seeking professional counseling to simply treating yourself with kindness. In addition, you need to focus on accepting yourself for who you are without regard to society's definitions of who you should be as a young man. The cultural standards of human society are oppressive, limiting, and imprisoning. Liberate yourself by defining who you are and what your own moral compass tells you to do, and fuck society. Human society is a mess, so why would you wish to emulate it? That is one reason why we have furries--most of whom reject human society to celebrate their own individuality.

Bottom line is this: you shouldn't care if you are gay, bi, straight, or whatever else you might be. The sooner you stop obsessing about your sexual orientation the happier you will be. Look, I am a gay bear, but I don't go around wearing my orientation on my sleeve. I don't walk up to people at a party and say, "Hi! I'm Kevin and I'm gay!" Do you see people at parties saying, "Hi! I'm Bob and I'm a heterosexual"? Similarly, you should not define yourself by who attracts you physically. I bet you are a lot of other things besides what makes your penis hard. I, for one, would like to know what your hobbies and interests are, your likes and dislikes. THAT is what makes you an interesting person, not what type of porn you look at online.

Your obsession with this, as you note, is affecting your life at school and at home. Obsessions and addictions of any sort are unhealthy. It would not hurt you, I daresay, to get some therapy if you can (I know money is an issue), hopefully from a professional who is not a homophobe and is nonjudgmental. So, don't go to a church counselor. I've talked with some others in the Philippines and have heard it is a rather macho culture, so you might need to shop around a bit to find a good counselor who isn't trying to make you a cultural conformist so that you become "normal" by their standards.

So, to answer your initial question, yes, you are definitely obsessed with your sexuality, and this is because of two things: 1) your rape experience, and 2) your struggle to be accepted for yourself. These are things that are not solved overnight but, rather, you need to work on over time. You also ask if you are in denial. No, I don't think you're in self-denial; I just think you haven't figured yourself out yet. You have been addressing the issue head-on, so that's a good thing. You should continue to actively explore your sexuality. At 21 years old, you're right in that time of life when many people are still working on their sexual orientation. Heck, I didn't really figure out mine until I was 40, so everyone is different. Don't compare yourself to other people's standards or timelines. Work at your own pace. Finally, how do you know "you are in your true sexuality?" as you put it. Well, not with porn. You will know for sure when you find someone you love and wish to be with and with whom you have a good sexual relationship, whether that person is gay, straight, trans, male, female, or whatever. Fall in love with the person, not their genitals. Sexuality is not, ironically, just about sex. It is about the kind of person you are attracted to, who they are on the inside. Sexuality is largely in the mind.

Human sexuality is extremely complicated. Most people, studies show, are not 100% gay or 100% straight but, rather, somewhere in between on the spectrum. Don't worry about it. And don't let society and those around you define who you are. Sexuality is just one small piece of the full human being that you are. Explore your life. Explore the world. It is an amazing place to learn about once you finish cleaning up in the bathroom. Things will eventually fall into place for you if you let things flow organically, naturally.

I hope that makes sense to you. Feel free to write again if you have more questions.

Bear Hugs,
Papabear

Perfect for the season, we have Randolph the Reindeer, a new illustrated storybook available in hardcover from Arcana. “When a beloved family heirloom is destroyed, an ex-hotshot reindeer must brave a deadly snowstorm to reach Santa’s workshop for a replacement… before Christmas for one family is ruined forever. This is a story for those who have not got the fairytale ending. For those who have lost. And get a shot at redemption!” Illustrated by David Alvarez, it’s written by Arcana’s head honcho Sean Patrick O’Reilly.

image c. 2020 Arcana Studio

Ok, I never realized I wanted a cat-fight simulator before.

Break out the catnip and see which furious feline fighter will become best cat in the physics-based party game Fisti-Fluffs! Clawing its way onto Nintendo Switch in early 2021.

Fisti-Fluffs

I’m in the age group that might have found dirty magazines hidden under parents' beds before so many things went digital. Of course, I’ve also had the opportunity to see modern offerings as an adult. So the idea of a magazine styled to be something like Hustler, but primarily for furries, was a fascinating prospect to me. A project like this that could be far more diverse, queer-affirming, and kink-focused than typical offerings? Sign me right up! But did #ohmurr live up to the hype it built from its concept? Let’s look at all of the content it has to offer!

Fiction: #ohmurr’s first volume sports stories from several of the fandom’s finest authors — these stories are no “Dear Penthouse” affairs! You get to explore a wide variety of scenarios, from settling pre-flight jitters from Whiteclaw to sex on the beach (and I don’t mean the drink) from Circ. Each story presents a curious scenario with well-written furry characters. These are sexy bites of fictions that don’t overstay their welcome if you’re trying to, you know, enjoy yourself. #ohmurr’s fiction offerings are certainly worth checking out.

NonFiction: There was one piece of nonfiction in this issue discussing Reverie’s first time experiencing an organized house party! Okay fine, this might be more of an orgy than your typical party. I could see this being not only fun and curious to read for folks with experiences in this regard, but helpful towards someone who might be curious in such an event but may be nervous about what to expect. Interviews: There are many sexy product makers within the furry fandom, but rarely do we get an inside glimpse into their creative process. This issue features three interviews with Wandering Bard, Rudderbutts, and Rogue Fang respectively. These are not only fun and informative but...

Reviews: Some of them even have reviews of their products in the issue as well! It’s fun not only learning about the companies but hearing about if their products are also up to snuff. This is the kind of thing you’d expect to see out of one of these magazines, and these recommendations legitimately may make you consider buying some of these products.

Features: Getting to sit down and look with an artist in the fandom as well as having a section specifically to talk a bit about kinky furry literature was very cool to me. This feels like something that’s more exclusive to this as a furry publication; who’s featuring "fandom" folks in mainstream pornography magazines?

Pictures: Finally, what’s a magazine without a centerfold? While this magazine may not have what you’d traditionally consider one, there’s a fantastic quantity of pictures to enjoy in #ohmurr’s inaugural issue. Not only are there lots of unique kinks on display, but also lots of gender identities and expressions able to view! Did I also mention there was a fantastic amount of different body types on offer as well? Basically, this is wonderful not only in terms of representation but also will provide something for everyone flipping through the pages.

So did #ohmurr live up to the hype? I normally wouldn’t consider picking up a magazine like this truthfully—there’s such a bounty of free content online—but #ohmurr impressed me enough that I might make an exception for its future issues. There’s such a wide variety of well-produced content with a furry focus you’re not going to find anywhere else all presented in one convenient magazine. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for something kinky, fun, and furry to read by yourself or with a partner. I’m looking forward to seeing what #ohmurr has to offer in future issues!

#OHMURR, Fall 2020

It’s time for some insects …. I suppose.

I wonder if Jerry will ever get better at proofreading.

True Facts: Army Ant Riders

TigerTails Radio Season 12 Episode 52 Join the Discord Chat: https://discord.gg/SQ5QuRf For a full preview of events and for previous episodes, please visit http://www.tigertailsradio.co.uk. See website for full breakdown of song credits, which is usually updated shortly after the show. Some music provided by https://audiograb.com/u/XimerTracks Some music provided by http://spoti.fi/NCS Backing music by Sanxion7.

It can honestly be said that without animation, Furry Fandom may not have happened — and certainly would not have happened the way it did. So there is definitely good reason to take a look at The Comic Book History of Animation, written by Fred Van Lente and illustrated by Ryan Dunlavey. “The team behind IDW’S Comic Book History of Comic Books returns with a brand-new series! From Aardman to Zoetrope, Disney to Miyazaki, Hanna-Barbera to Pixar, and everything in between! The perfect companion piece to CBHoC, the Comic Book History of Animation focuses on the filmmakers and beloved characters of the past century and a half, and is essential for fans of the medium and ‘toon newbies alike.” Issue #1 of this five-issue miniseries is available now from IDW.

image c. 2020 IDW Publishing

I think this holiday we could use more OwlKitty….

Home Alone with OwlKitty

Papabear.

​I guess I should start at the beginning. I had a friend, I’m not sure I should say his name. Let’s call him Ron. Ron and I were inseparable. I mean, we were only friends online, but we were closer than anyone. Almost like twins.

Ron and I talked all the time, but of course we both had our own lives, so it was normal that he and I didn’t talk for a few days. He had his own friends, and I had mine as well. But we were always there for each other. Best friends.
I noticed that after some time had passed, years I mean, that he started talking to me less and less. Even though I’d message or call him. He’d start to leave me on “read” or even just flat out send me to voice mail. Which didn’t bug me at first. He was probably just busy. Then I noticed it happening more and more. And I saw that even when he was online he still wouldn’t reach out to me. That started to get to me a bit. He started commissioning art that both of us had planned to get together with others. Ideas that I shared with him and we both promised to get.

Over time, I asked him what was going on. Did I say something? Did I do something? And he just flat out said “our friendship has run its course.” That hurt me so hard. Someone I had considered family to me, would just turn their back on me like that. And without a word.

Years later. I have a best friend now, we can call him Jude. Jude and I are the same way Ron and I were. Closer than anyone ever. Actually, we went to high school together. We have known each other for 11 years or so, but only have considered each other best friends for about 5-6 years probably. It feels like forever though. I love this guy to death, and I’d risk my life for him. And he feels the same way, I know it. Mostly because he told me so.

But . . . well again he has his own friends. And sometimes he will be with them instead of me. And...I really hate to say it, I feel paranoid. Almost like he will see a better friend in them instead of me, and leave me for them. Just like Ron did. He’s gotten so close with others. Even artwork with them and it scares me. Wow, typing this out, I feel disgusted with myself. And he’s noticed this. He does say it does bug him that I get like this. I tell him I’m fine but he says he doesn’t believe me when I say that.

Jude guarantees me that we are best friends until the literal end. And that he would never think about turning his back on me as Ron did. But I still get really scared.

No friendship should be like this. How can I even call this a friendship with how selfish I act like this? Am I just a terrible friend to him? I know it’s completely unfair.

Tieg Wolf

* * *
​
Dear Tieg,

This is a good example of my belief that online relationships aren't the same as in-person friendships.  Real friendships require a commitment and dedication beyond typing or video chat.  They take some sacrifice along with the rewards. When there is no real-life contact with a friend, when you don't go through troubles and tribulations together as well as good times, then no strong connection will form.  Oh, sure, you can have friendly chats and if you share hobbies and philosophies you can feel as if there is a strong bond there, but, just like the internet, it's only virtual. "Plans" to meet sound nice, but then reality gets in the way (money, work, school, pandemics) and that "someday we will meet" gets pushed farther and farther into the future until it never happens.

Your friendship with Ron was only virtual. Eventually, he got tired of it and turned his attention to friends he could actually see and do things with in person (my theory). So, he became bored and moved on, tired of waiting for you. Jude, on the other paw, is a friend with whom you have a shared past in high school. This is a totally different ball of wax. It is much more real. It is therefore not the same as your friendship with Ron. You should not compare apples and oranges, Tieg. And you should not allow one bad experience with one person poison your friendship with Jude. If you do, you will find yourself creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, you will become so paranoid that Jude will dump you that he will feel you don't trust him and he will dump you. 

Get over Ron. Jude is not comparable. Commit to this relationship; trust Jude, and don't act like Jude is Ron. If you do, you will poison what you have.

You are not a terrible friend. You're allowing fear to control you. The absolute worst thing you can do to yourself is allow fear to rule your behavior.  A common human foible. Forget about Ron. Live for today. Today is all you have. Ron is the past; Jude is the future. Enjoy your friendship with Jude and trust him to be there for you. And stop torturing yourself. What happened to you is totally understandable, but now is the time to learn and grow from the experience and don't obsess over it.

Make sense?

Have a good holiday and a blessed New Year.

Hugs,
Papabear

Something cool just came in the mail. It’s better than a Christmas present. It’s the Ursa Major Award for the year’s best anthropomorphic magazine!

The Ursa Major Awards are for public voting for the best furry movies, books, comics, art and more from the previous year. If you know of good 2020 works to share, the Recommended Anthropomorphics List is open NOW. Tell them what you love: recommended@ursamajorawards.org. Check out the list if you’re looking for good stuff to watch and read. Nominations for the next awards will start later in January 2021.

The most recent winners were decided a while ago, but it took time for everyone to get awards in the mail just recently. The awards depend on volunteer work by Rod O’Riley, the co-founder of ConFurence (with Mark Merlino). Rod and Mark run the Prancing Skiltaire house in Southern California and have been together for 40 years.

2 of the best things in the fandom! https://t.co/hhyRR8osYK

— Dogpatch Press (@DogpatchPress) November 27, 2020

2020 Good Furry Award for Ash Coyote

News about The Good Furry Award was waiting so I could share these together. The award is run by Grubbs Grizzly to recognize furries who make outstanding positive contributions to the fandom. In June, the award (and a $500 check) went to Ash Coyote and she made a video about it.

The Good Furry Award site has more about Ash Coyote and how she features furries on Youtube. Her full length movie The Fandom: A Furry Documentary is on the Ursa Majors recommended list and got a great review here. It’s full of archival video from early fandom times when Mark and Rod were starting the first furry con.

More furry news

Mark Merlino sent a story to publish soon about hosting Alan Dean Foster as a guest at ConFurence. Foster is the accomplished science fiction author who recently got mainstream headlines for being unpaid by Disney and fighting for his rights.

In Mark’s story, their small furry con got Foster to attend when he turned down an invitation from Worldcon. I also got replies from the producer who optioned Foster’s Spellsinger series for a movie and announced it at a furry con back in 2011.

The Dogpatch Press SPECIAL FEATURES AND TOP ARTICLES page is getting long-due updates to list over 6 years of stories. One is the mega-list of Furclubs around the world (independent night club parties for furries). Their history is the topic of a long piece shared on Patreon. It was written for a book that came out in 2017. Now it can be seen online for patrons.

I just shared a 5400 word story for the special cool $5 and up patrons at https://t.co/vv4jWFjLCW. pic.twitter.com/8Zho80wlkQ

— Dogpatch Press (@DogpatchPress) November 29, 2020

Check out Rod O’Riley’s own news site, InFurNation which covers movies, books, comics and more with furry appeal.

Freshly posted on Twitter: my literary rabbithole thread about a 1920’s LGBT proto-furry who influenced science fiction.

Photos requested with the award.

I’m so proud to get notice from Rod, the award volunteers and you if you enjoy any of the stories and helped vote for this. There wouldn’t be good furry news without you.

Like the article? These take hard work. For more free furry news, follow on Twitter or support not-for-profit Dogpatch Press on Patreon. Want to get involved? Try these subreddits: r/furrydiscuss for news, r/furrywriters, or r/waginheaven for the best of the community. Or send guest writing here. (Content Policy.)

More interesting stuff from the recent Walt Disney Company investors’ presentation. Turning Red is an upcoming Pixar animated feature being directed by Domee Shi, creator of the Oscar-winning animated short Bao. Here’s how Pixar describes the story: “Meet Mei. She experiences the awkwardness of being a teenager, with an added twist: When she gets too excited, she transforms into a giant red panda.” Oh! Turning Red is set to be released in the spring of 2022.

image c. 2020 Disney/Pixar

MOOBARKFLUFF! Click here to send us a comment or message about the show!

Yuubae from Sittin Kitten studios joins us this week. We talk about her experiences with Fursuit making and the fandom. What is the difference between Filipino and Philipino? How many diamonds can you get in Hearthstone? Are Anglos angry and is it possible to workout on an egg timer?  All these, and many more, are discussed in this weeks episode. Spend some time with Bearly and Taebyn.  It is time you will enjoy!

Support the show

Thanks to all our listeners and to our staff: Bearly Normal, Rayne Raccoon, Taebyn, Cheetaro, TickTock, and Ziggy the Meme Weasel.

You can send us a message on Telegram at BFFT Chat, or via email at: bearlyfurcasting@gmail.com

Bearly Furcasting #33 - Yuubae, 5 Minute Furs, Storytime

Hi Papa Bear.

​Even though I'm 30 I'm a bedwetter and have been off and on my whole life even diapered a lot from age 8 up. I think its what lead me to becoming a babyfur. My thing is I don't know how to go about talking about the issue and its connection with others that I love.

Maximus Astori-Wolfheart

* * *

Dear Maximus,

What have you done so far to address your bedwetting?

Papabear

* * *

So I have done several things over the last few months, actually. I've went to the doctor and got a referral for the urologist. Saw them, got a CT scan done both with and without contrast and ultrasound of the kidneys and bladder; went in for surgery for a cystoscopy, and everything came back negative.

Being a furry/babyfur I think is a trigger from my past, and I wanted your opinion, if you don't mind. From age 7 or 8 and all the way up, I've been in and out of diapers my whole life. I suffered from encopresis (bowel loss) when I was 7 till around age 9, then bedwetting from there on. I was constantly spanked and given enemas and eventually put back into diapers at age 8. Seems more like a punishment than helping control the problem.

But I wanted your opinion/advice about this sort of thing. Do you think that it's the past that possibly triggered my babyfur side of me to manifest, and also like when I get with someone how to bring this situation up?

Thanks fur the help.

Sincerely,

Maximus Astori-Wolfheart

* * *

Hi, Maximus,

If the bed wetting isn't caused by a medical problem, then it likely is caused by an emotional or mental issue. Did you have a traumatic childhood?

Papabear

* * *

As to what I explained before in combination with this, I was in fact sexually assaulted by my cousin at age 11. I don't know if you want me to go into details with it or not, but I was also sexually assaulted by an older guy in March of 2011.

* * *

Hi, Maximus,

Thank you for that honest response. Now we get to the nitty-gritty of the matter. You see, bedwetting can be an expression of the trauma of having been raped as a child or even as a teen. By extension, your babyfur urges are right up the same alley. You see, when you were traumatized by being raped, you not only were physically assaulted but you were psychologically and emotionally assaulted. Your attackers robbed you of your innocence and, indeed, your childhood. To compensate, some people such as yourself try to revert to a childhood or even infant state in an attempt to reclaim the innocence they have lost.

Here is a link to a very informative PDF that is all about how childhood rape can affect people well into adulthood. 

I would suggest that you seek counsel from a professional who specializes in helping rape victims. Once your psychological issues are resolved, this should go a long way toward mitigating or even completely resolving your bedwetting problem.

As for personal relationships, I would recommend you try and figure out the bedwetting first and then worry about relationships later. Sometimes, of course, serendipity plays an unexpected card and you just fall into a relationship. Should this happen while you are still seeing a counselor, explain what is going on with you openly and honestly, but only when you feel ready to do so and only if you are in a serious relationship (i.e., e.g., it's not something I would mention on a first or second date).

Good Luck!

Papabear