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Hello, Papabear.

First of all I'd like to thank you for being such a positive influence for so many people and the fandom. Many charge a ton of money to do less than half of what you do and whatever your reasons are, I feel you're being honest and sincere in your answers. You've been thanked by many, I know, but the fact that you do what you do, makes me feel grateful that you're here, and having something to be grateful alone makes me feel a little better.

Well, I'll try to get to the point. I was born in a very white trash, poor, religiously fanatic and very abusive family in a 3rd world country. So I guess it goes without saying that I have issues. Several traumas, depression, anxiety, ptsd, add, the list goes on.

I won't get further into that because that is another whole can of anaconda sized worms on it's own so I'll focus on what's bothering me right now.

Recently I've come to the realization that my self-hatred is enormous, way bigger than I thought it was and it probably has a bigger impact on me than any other factor. I've been trying to lessen it's effects with some simple practices and try to understand to what point it affects me.

Now, seemingly unrelated to that I've became very interested or maybe obsessed with My Little Pony FIM as of late. Specifically fanfiction. I was always a fan of the show but my interest in it had died so long ago I even stopped watching the show. I don't know why I started reading the fanfictions exactly, I think I frantically read all fancomics that I found and still wanted to consume more of that universe so I looked at fanfiction.

Here's where it gets weird. I absolutely hate reading. It's one of the things I hate the most in life and even to read a fiction book like Eragon took me a loooot of effort and will. Only book I think I wholeheartedly read without any struggle was The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, which remains in my concept one the best works of fiction/entertainment of all time.

I digress. I started reading these fanfictions and having an amazing time, the first one I've read captivated me just like Hitchhiker's. I didn't focus on anything specific such as romance or sci-fi. They were just a few surprisingly well written stories in that universe by an author. The second author I found had good stories too but they were very focused on romance, comedy and a specific kind of drama I really spent hours thinking about. By that I mean that many time when I'm reading one of these stories, I stop reading them and begin to "spin off" from it and think on different things the characters in the story could have done and many times I stay hours in that state so much so the story in my head is now another one completely.

I told myself I was going to stop after that one story because It was consuming too much of time. I didn't, I kept getting back and finding more and more fanfictions to read. And usually feel bad all the time but recently I started to feel worst so I thought: "Either I read this fics to escape or they're what causing me to feel worst."

At first I thought it probably wasn't the latter, and I still don't think it is but something strange happened. I found some fics where I related to a character, usually a character who suffers from depression, has a lot of self hatred (not low self-esteem) and all that brings.

I've been to many lowest of lows and suicide is far from an alien thought to me to say the least. (Not only for emotional distress but physical pain as well, I've dealt with some hard stuff.)
But I've never contemplated self in reality of fantasy and I've never glamourized suicide outside of very very common "self sacrifice" fantasies.

So, at one time I read a comic when a character is feeling unworthy/guilty for depression reasons and the character doesn't do anything except think. But I go on one of my "spin offs" and put myself in his place and I start fantasizing about him/me piercing his/my shoulder and making a slice from it to my collar bone. It felt weird because I really, really, really wanted to feel the pain of doing that. I'm not a fan of pain, I'm averted by any sadist or masochistic thing or thought so this was really a first to me.

Then it happened one where I (the character), flew very very high up and just let go. And again, I really wanted to experience that, which is funny since I'm somewhat afraid of heights and it's not on my top 10 ways to suicide. (Don't have a list, just wanted to stress the feeling.)

And this keeps happening, I knew I hated myself but I never knew to what degree until this started to happen. I can't find why my subconscious want's to be punished so hard, why does it feel so guilty. I don't feel like I was or am a burden to anyone, I only sometimes feel a slight hint of guilt over decisions I've made in the past over something small and it goes away pretty fast. Do I consciously feel unworthy of love, affection, attention, existing? Very much, yes. But can that translate to fantasies of self harm when in reality I don't have the slightest wish to do so?

I know the source it's trauma but this is new to me and it feels like it's a big part of the whole picture. Am I not seeing something that's clearly there? If I'm just living "hidden" emotions through these characters, why are these emotions more hidden than the others? Should I stop reading fanfiction or at least avoid the ones with this theming?

These are a lot of questions, I don't expect you to answer all, if any of them. I hope I've at least expressed myself well enough to give you an idea of what I feel because my real question is:

What's your take on this?

Also I'd like to let you know that I'm planning or hurting or putting myself in danger in any way so please don't worry. I've been trying to be introspective with my feelings to see where they come from, the why and how and It's obviously not easy but with every realization I feel a little better, if not I feel like I've gained a key to unlock some other mystery in the future.

But every time I think I cannot be surprised anymore, well... So I don't know what to make of this, all I know is that I can't feel good fantasizing about hurting myself. If anything that is proof of my decaying state of mind and I'm looking for improvement not decay. Sorry for any confusing parts, I hope I've explained it at least well enough to not give you any headaches.

Thank you so much, Papabear. Hope you have an awesome holyday season and new year!

P.s. I still hate to read but I think I love to write. XD

Anonymous (age 27)

* * *

Dear Furiend,

Thank you for your letter. You raise a very interesting topic: the healing power of fiction and literature in general. It sounds as if you have had quite a difficult childhood, so I extend to you my sympathies. Almost without fail, people who suffer from low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety are this way because of external forces. That is, traumas you have experienced or feelings of being negatively judged originate from those whou surround you and do not spontaneously generate from within. The only reason you feel badly about yourself is that you have been the subject of physical, emotional, or psychological abuse or a combination of these.

Many people find comfort by escaping into fantasy worlds, or through other forms of art ranging from film to music to the visual arts. Fiction literature appears to be the remedy you have found for yourself. That is perfectly normal. In fact, there are studies that show that reading novels and stories can ease people's emotional and psychological issues. Indeed, it has also been shown that reading fiction can help us learn to improve social interactions and empathy with others. In the world of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic you have anthropomorphic unicorns, ponies, dragons etc., many of which have cheerful and spunky personalities, making friends and solving various problems and quests by working together. It's a very upbeat and optimistic cartoon, which is why it is so popular. Obviously, MLP represents a world that you find desirable, and reading MLP fan fiction and imagining yourself in that world is part of your self-therapy. You see, lacking a therapist in the real world, you have discovered your own treatment through this television show and its fanfic.

Okay, so why the dreams or fantasies about dying in one way or another in various MLP scenarios you imagine for yourself? Obviously, you start off daydreaming about the MLP world and then your feelings of depression and anxiety intrude upon it. This is similar to when children have a dream that starts off happily but ends up with a monster suddenly appearing and attacking them. The monster could represent things such as fear about a bully at school, a homework assignment or test, or perhaps an upcoming visit to the doctor or tension in the family. So, here you are, in your case, having an escapist fantasy and then the black clouds in the back of your mind intrude upon it.

You also mention you are experiencing fears and guilt about hiding your emotions and feelings. It sounds like you are keeping something out of the letter, such as feeling ashamed of who you are, something you are keeping secret from your family? I can only speculate, but this could obviously be the monster intruding into your daydreams as well in the form of self-destruction. Furthermore, the fantasy of dying in an act of self-sacrifice is a call to get attention that you are a worthwhile person. Let me ask you this: in your daydreams of self-sacrifice, do you go out in a blaze of glory? An explosion or fireball? These are symbolic of trying to send a flare up into the sky to get attention when you feel stranded on a desert island of loneliness. (You can feel lonely in a room full of people, you know.) Complementary to this is the daydream of piercing or cutting yourself. This is a subconscious desire to feel something, to verify that you DO exist because you feel ignored. "Hello? Am I here? No one is acknowledging me! Do I even exist? If I cause myself pain, I will confirm that I do."

The solution to all this is to get your family to acknowledge that you are a worthwhile and valued member of the clan, but if they won't do that, then you need to find a family and friends that do. Family, in my opinion, is not necessarily your blood relatives (see Lilo and Stitch). Family are the people who love and support you for being you. In My Little Pony, the characters are not related but they are still family. For now, these fictional characters have become your surrogate family, but you would do well to find some people in real life who fulfill your needs as well as talking ponies and unicorns do.

In the meantime, you say that you don't like reading but you love writing. Writing is extremely therapeutic, too. I encourage you to write your own stories, working out your feelings as you do so.

Make sense? Write again and let me know.

Hugs,
Papabear

Joe Goria (Joe G. Bear) last wrote about the 2019 ALS Walk.

Furries have done annual fundraising for ALS patients and families in honor of Dogbomb, raising several hundred thousand so far.

Charity events canceled: “What A Difference A Year Makes…”

That statement couldn’t have been more truer than THIS year. I don’t believe any of us would have predicted that 2020 would plunge us into a global pandemic not seen in over 100 years, and that our way of life – our ‘normal’ would change so remarkably in a short period of time. To be honest, this year has brought me closer to my own mortality, so I’m grateful to be safe and healthy (so far…)

As the COVID-19 Pandemic hit the United States in early March, affecting all major in-person events from concerts, sporting events and for many of us in “The Fandom,” furmeets and furry conventions – the most devastating casualty of this pandemic have been to people’s jobs and their own livelihoods. We all know someone or an entire family who has suffered greatly these last few months, and it’s heartbreaking. We should also mention those who are employed in our healthcare system, especially furries who have worked under extremely difficult circumstances in hospitals across our nation. “Thank You” for your dedication and service.

Even with the promise of important vaccines being rolled out this month and well into 2021, the after-effects of 2020 will still be with us for some time – especially for one major aspect of our society that can never take a backseat. Charities and Non-Profit organizations like March of Dimes & The ALS Association have been hit particularly hard as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, with the cancellations of in-person donor drives and events like “The March for Babies” in Los Angeles and “The Walk to End ALS” in Orange County, CA.

Hardships inspire a personal commitment to help.

The “2019 Walk to End ALS” was Joe Bear’s first major charitable event. The success of Furries coming together to remember and support one of our own, Tony ‘Dogbomb’ Barrett was the light that brought a purpose to fursuiting beyond a weekend convention – an ‘enlightening’ that gave me determination to continue the cause. It would be supporting the amazing folks at The ALS Association, and the upcoming 20th Anniversary “Walk to End ALS” in November, 2020. Plans were being finalized for the event when the COVID-19 pandemic hit the U.S. in mid-March.

One recent Gallup poll surveyed giving trends since the pandemic began. Though donations from corporate sponsors and foundations have increased, donations from individuals and families have plummeted as result of financial concerns and/or job loss. Approximately 40% of Americans reported direct financial hardship as a result of the pandemic.

Many charitable organizations like The ALS Association were affected by the abrupt cancellations of spring and summer events. As the pandemic raged through a late summer surge – “The Walk to End ALS” would change from an ‘in-person’ walk to a ‘virtual’ event online. The loss of in-person events can be very disappointing to any charitable organization, as it affects overall financial goal planning for much-needed services to those suffering from this deadly disease. (ALS is also named ‘Lou Gehrig’s Disease’ after the beloved Major League Baseball player who succumbed to it in 1941.) The work of The ALS Association can never take a break, as their services are always needed for people suffering from ALS – especially during a pandemic. It has to be extremely stressful not just for the patient, but for the families and loved ones involved.

I felt THIS year was the one year to get more involved to really make a difference, to make a larger impact than 2019.

November 2020 at the ALSAOCC in Southern California

Encouragement from a friend outside the fandom.

I was more fortunate than others who had experienced job loss, as I work for a major telecommunications giant that kept the offices open. We were deemed ‘essential,’ and believe me – we were quite busy taking calls since March for customers needing ‘Fiber Internet’ installed in their homes, as many would be ‘working from home.’ I would work alongside my co-worker, carpool partner and friend, Gale Ballard.

I knew Gale for almost 20 years, dating back to when I started working for the company, then known as Pacific Bell. We both had a lot in common that surprised me. We were both proud graduates of Long Beach State University (B.A. 1994), and we were involved in Associated Students and Greek Life on Campus; I was Acacian (Acacia Fraternity) and Gale was in Zeta Phi Beta Sorority. Ballard supported March of Dimes with a passion – each Spring I would donate to her fundraiser for “The March for Babies” drive as she walked alongside her friends, family and sorority ‘sisters’. Gale was my ‘best friend’ at the office, she kept me smiling and she was one of the first to accept me as a ‘Furry’ with no judgment in 2014 (after I explained to her with facts about our Fandom). She supported me completely being dressed up as a ‘Big Bear’ for The 2019 ALS Walk.

Gale Ballard admired ‘The Fandom’ for it’s generous contributions to various charities, especially when I shared a YouTube video of Furry Weekend Atlanta 2019’s closing ceremonies. It highlighted the convention Chair ‘Tiger Paw’ presenting a supersized large check donation of $50,000.00 for FWA’s designated charity “The Conservator’s Center.” Gale realized Furries were ‘pretty cool’ after hanging out with me, and admitted that she LOVED all the colorful ‘costumes. She wanted to attend a local SoCal Furmeet one day and meet some of my pals. She was a good friend of mine.

Shocking and unexpected news.

As we both live in Los Angeles County, and our job is in Orange County – Gale and I would often carpool to and from work. In mid-October, while I was on a week-long vacation Gale carpooled with another L.A. Area employee into work. Later that week, our office was hit with a Coronavirus ‘super-spreader’ event, one that affected 46 employees and managers. Gale got sick while I was away. By the time I returned to the office on October 19th, she messaged me that she wasn’t feeling well and would stay home.

We would never carpool again.

As the office outbreak forced me to take a vacation day on Friday, October 23rd to see my doctor and perform my first COVID-19 test in Torrance, the events of late Friday would change my life and break my heart. Our company announced the Tustin office would close for two weeks, through Monday, November 9th. Late Friday, I received a call from a good friend of mine and Gale’s, ‘George’ who worked with us for 19 years and recently retired. He didn’t mince words to me, and told me the somber news that Gale had suddenly passed away. I was in complete shock! I’d never expected to hear this news, as I just chatted with her the day before. I couldn’t believe it, I was in denial.

Gale was my ‘sunshine,’ she was there for me, supported me and cared for me. She was there for me when my Mom died in June, 2018 and supported me with my involvement with The ALS Association. She helped me get the word out for The 2019 ALS Walk, and helped gather donations from fellow coworkers. Gale Ballard was a very loving person that I miss every day. On November 4th, I personally said my “goodbye” to Gale at a pre-funeral viewing in Long Beach, attended by many. I finally broke down and cried. We also lost another employee a few days later, Darrell Harper. This was a nightmare for all of us who work in the office, because we are close knit… like family.

Joe remembers

Help from a community to rise above losses.

Gale Ballard’s sudden death made me determined to finish my goal: to participate in this year’s event by raising more donations than last year.

I knew fundraising in 2020 would be more challenging than 2019, as the pandemic had made it difficult to personally meet and talk to my fellow co-workers. Approximately 50% of my office would eventually ‘work from home.’ Many who did donate last year were simply not there, including those in the business department and certain Human Resources staff. Also, due to social distancing, we were not allowed to mingle and or be near other employees.

So, I used the power of social media messaging apps like Telegram to communicate to certain co-workers and retirees to help, and they came through! Nancy Hinh in HR, CWA 9510 VP Peter O’Brien, and even my former co-worker and ‘our’ good friend George Fields came in with generous donations. I say ‘Thank You!’ My family came through too, especially my Dad who has supported me graciously the last two years. He’s truly my ‘best friend’ and I love him very much!

Lastly, I can’t forget my friends in the Furry Fandom who came through with their support – Including those who donated in larger amounts this year, which was beyond AMAZING! One of my dearest friends in this fandom is a Blue Wolf from L.A. named “Truce,” who donated a whopping $800.00 to TEAM TONY and I’m forever grateful for his generosity. Truce knew ‘Dogbomb’ like many of us, and wanted to make a big difference this year. Well, he certainly did! San Francisco Furries ‘Rasher Boar’ & ‘Blue Badger’ chimed in with a hefty donation. There was a generous donation from a fellow Bear that I got to finally meet (and Hug) in Dallas during Texas Furry Fiesta 2020 just two weeks before the pandemic – Zio Bear. Thank You! Even our team captain, Trip E. Collie received multiple donations from “Blue,” totalling $1800.00 for TEAM TONY. “Blue” also donated $800.00 for the microphone set that helped with the virtual broadcast for those who couldn’t attend the “ALS Walk & Roll” Drive-Up by car. These were Furries who delivered the difference, despite the pandemic.

THIS IS WHAT WE DO, THIS IS WHAT FURRIES DO – HELP OTHERS! This couldn’t be more truer than at a pivotal time like today, in the midst of a global pandemic.

Rolling out a new kind of event.

In mid-October, The ALS Association of Orange County came up with an interesting concept. ALSOC Chapter Development & Operations Coordinator Denise Greek expanded the planned virtual ‘Walk’ . It would include a “Drive-Thru” event in front of The ALS Association offices in Tustin, and very close to my office. ALSOC is located in a business park across from METROLINK Tustin train station with expanded driveways to accommodate ‘Tent Stations’ for easy drive-up to pickup merchandise and an ‘Exit Tent’ to provide bagged lunches. I thought this was a great idea. There would be live music from a local DJ, prize giveaways, and above all – I could fursuit in a safe matter while attendees would remain in their vehicles. It would be my way to be involved in a ‘in-person’ setting while putting a ‘furry smile’ for the drive-up attendees.

On Saturday, November 14th we had “The 2020 Walk & Roll to Defeat ALS” Drive-Thru event in Tustin. It was something I’d never experienced before, but it was fun & memorable.

I arrived early with my friends & ‘Fursuit Handlers’ Ken Murata & Guadalupe ‘Junior’. With the blessing from Denise Greek & ALSOC Executive Director Natalie Villegas – I was able to use one of the storage rooms to ‘Suit Up.’ Our team captain ‘Trip E. Collie’ did not fursuit (I love his fursuit, FYI) as he handled the virtual broadcast of the event. He was hidden ‘Behind The Scenes’ handling master control inside the offices, while presenter Bonnie Yu and cameraman Dave Hsiung would report on the festivities outside. Tents were positioned across the long business park driveway near the ALSOC Offices. The main ALS Association Donor Table was near the front of the office entrance, alongside the DJ booth near the drive-thru ‘Balloon Archway’ that would identify the finish line.

I wouldn’t be the only fursuiter in attendance during “Walk & Roll to Defeat ALS.” My good friend and someone who was very close to Tony ‘Dogbomb’ Barrett named “Whiskey Foxtrot” joined me. We were ‘The Mighty Furry Duo” throughout the event, as we both waved and cheered on as attendees passed under the Balloon Archway in their vehicles. Later we handed out bagged lunches at the ‘Exit Tent’ to attendees in their cars. Imagine trying to hold a lunch tray wearing bear paws with hard resin claws – it was a challenge I must admit.

Whiskey Foxtrot and Joe G. Bear

Success in excess

After fursuiting for three hours, dancing away to the music while waving and thanking so many attendees in their vehicles, our work was done. I had a fun time, participating in something that was quite different from the ordinary but also very important. We weren’t going to let the pandemic stop us from showing how much we care for those in need. ZOOM virtual app was nice, but the drive-up charity concept was a great alternative and safe too.

I was humbled when I got so many ‘THANK YOU’s from people. The smiles from all over appreciating us for just being there were quite touching. I especially enjoyed being in ‘selfie’ shots alongside Whiskey. It’s something I’ll cherish for a long time.

In the end, we held our hands and paws up high! The ALS Association of Orange County held a successful hybrid virtual/drive-thru charity event with safety in mind. Thanks to my donors, I was able to not only meet my modest goal of $1000.00, I was able to exceed my goal by 161.5% with a total of $1615.00! I crushed my 2019 numbers by almost $700! TEAM TONY was a small, but MIGHTY group of 9 Furries led by the amazing Trip E. Collie – and exceeded it’s goal by 117.7% with a grand total of $5885.00!

I’m proud to be involved with The ALS Association and looking forward to 2021 and beyond, post-pandemic.

‘Dogbomb’ and Gale would’ve been proud.

9 furries joined Team Tony for the 2020 fundraiser.

Joe’s page

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Crickets are not the best roommates.

Before the bear can go into hibernation, he has to find the cricket whose chirps keep him from falling asleep.

Animanimals: Bear

Felix Colgrave (Fever The Ghost Source, Double King) has a new short!  I think I’m entirely not high enough for this short.

A little story about the backyard critters you might see in Tasmania, and the things they might be doing.

Throat Notes

A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher is certainly one of the more…odd novels I’ve read in recent memory. On the surface, it sounds less like a fantasy novel for young adults and more like the name of a Hogwarts textbook, doesn’t it? And going into this novel, I certainly broke one of the more traditional rules by judging a book by its cover.

I seriously cannot think of any other book that has managed to combine fantasy and cooking together in a way that is fun and creative with its premise, while also being able to remain epic in its small-scale setting.

So, what’s the story? In the city-state of Riverbraid lives a fourteen-year-old girl named Mona who works day-to-day in her Aunt Tabitha’s bakery. When she isn’t serving customers or feeding the living sourdough starter that she keeps in her basement (aptly named Bob), she likes to use her magicker abilities to create and bake the tastiest of bread. She even likes to entertain some by animating gingerbread men to dance and perform tricks in her spare time.

That is, until she wakes up one morning to discover a dead girl’s body in her workspace. Due to the circumstances and even the prejudice of a leading Inquisitor named Oberon, Mona is immediately suspected of the murder despite her supposed lack of adaptability in using bread for magic, especially in committing something as vile as murder.

Worse for Mona, a serial killer called the Spring Green Man is rumored to be the one responsible for the girl—revealed to be a magicker like her named Tabbie—being murdered in her bakery, and is actively targeting magic users. Now with the help of Tabbie’s younger brother, a ten-year-old street thief named Spindle, and a variety of strange and whimsical characters to aid her, Mona must avoid being captured or killed in a city that she’s lived all her life in, while trying to unravel the mystery of the Spring Green Man. Some of these characters include a crazed magicker named Knackering Molly, who can bring dead horses to life, her extremely caring Aunt Tabitha, her war veteran Uncle Albert, and even the Duchess of Riverbraid herself.

Forgetting about the fantasy setting and the imaginative idea of a "wizard baker" for a moment, what really holds A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking is its charm. Riverbraid is charming, its inhabitants are charming, and everything about the setting has a wholesomeness to it without detracting from the unease of prejudices and gritty dangers around every corner.

You easily connect to Mona as a protagonist, understanding how she feels such low self-esteem in herself but not in her craft as a baker. After all, once I started reading this book, I did not know what to expect regarding "bread magic" and if it had any applications. However, that all changed as the novel progressed and Mona—and you, as the reader—start to think outside the box about what it can do. How much magic does it take to animate a small object? Can Mona animate a large amount of bread dough? Can they think for themselves? What can bread be used for to escape life-or-death situations? These questions, combined with the decent mystery she’s trying to unravel, makes Mona an interesting protagonist to get behind.

Spindle is also very likable, like a cross between Tom Sawyer and a snarky, unapologetically blunt street urchin who wants to see justice brought to his sister’s murderer. At times, he can be grating and act like a brat, but he is a kid, and the brother/sister dynamic between him and Mona does allow his character to shine as a rambunctious but kind-hearted young boy going through almost the same turmoil.

Aunt Tabitha has to be one of the great fictional aunts in fantasy, the novel going so far as to describe her as being placed on this Earth to feed anybody in need. The characters who surprised me the most in A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking were probably the Duchess of Riverbraid herself, as well as the small but feisty gingerbread man who sticks with Mona throughout her misadventures as her faithful familiar. Really, Kingfisher went above and beyond to figure out ways to create so many out-of-the-box ways to give a personality to what basically amounts to an edible treat.

Aside from prejudice towards magickers as well as corruption among authority figures, the novel also managed to explore themes of hero worship and how most heroes are only fallible and human. There’s a brilliant speech Uncle Albert makes near the middle of the book about how sometimes a hero is only made because a system failed to do its job in preventing a catastrophe from occurring. Even if the hero is applauded and the problem is fixed, nobody thinks about why it even happened in the first place. That is a difficult perspective to explain, but Kingfisher found a way to convey it without being too pessimistic.

If I really had to nitpick some things and find some elements to complain about, it would have to revolve around the current draft. I’ve noticed how Kingfisher has multiple moments where she switches between past tense and present tense. One minute, Mona is monologuing to herself (and the audience) about how her magical abilities are second-rate compared to the more widely experienced readers, like she is writing it in a journal, while the next it feels like we are following her thoughts directly in present tense.

Sometimes, I also feel like A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking could have benefited from at least one more rewrite in certain sections throughout. Some scenes either go on too long, repeat statements we already know as the reader, or are left too vague. One such example for the latter is the fact I have almost no idea what Mona looks like, or even which hair color she has. Normally, I don’t mind it because too much description isn’t a good thing to have in a story, but it is distracting for some readers like me.

However, they are only small details compared to what an entertaining and fun read T. Kingfisher’s latest young adult novel entails. With a dash of Disney’s The Owl House and a pinch of Hayao Miyazaki, mixed together with an interesting fantasy setting with wholesome characters and an epic climax of bread magic in the final battle, A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking will interest those who love to read as well as bake. I certainly feel hungry for more.

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking, by T. Kingfisher

Heya Papa Bear, 

I saw this page when I was browsing Furaffinity, so I thought I'd give it a shot. So for some background, I've met a girl on a video game who really liked my personality and she asked to be my girlfriend. I didn't want to be rude or defiant, so I quickly said yes. But later she tells me that she lives in a different state (Ohio), and that she is two years behind me, which is not the legal consent age in her state. So my question is should I carry on and meet someone else that is of age, or should I go the extra mile and wait two years for it to work out? I Hope this message finds you well in these trying times, and have a Merry Christmas!

Jackthefennec (North Carolina, age 18)

* * *

​Dear Jack,

You jumped the gun a bit here, my fennec furiend. Saying "Yes, I'll be your boyfriend" because you "don't want to be rude or defiant" is a terrible reason to say yes to a serious relationship invitation. Now, if she meant simply "let's be friends," that's fine, but gf/bf territory is what was implied, apparently. Jumping into a serious relationship is something I see writers to my column doing all the time. There's an old expression: "Look before you leap." It applies here. It's nice that you have pleasant chats online and may have some things in common. Those are good qualifications for an online friendship. But not for an emotional relationship and certainly not for a sexual one.

As for her being 16 to your 18, I doubt it matters. You live in completely different states, and I seriously doubt the two of you will meet in person in the next couple of years--do you? But let's say that COVID settles down and the two of you decide to meet at a furcon. That would be a great way to get to know each other, but again, I recommend you take it slowly and don't jump into bed. That said, the age of consent in Ohio is 16, so you don't have to worry about the legalities. DO worry about the consequences of sex in a world of STIs, high living expenses, and the costs of raising children.

You are making a pachyderm out of a mouse. Chill, relax, work on building your relationship with this girl. Get to know her. You have plenty of time. I'm gonna sound like an Old Papabear here, but you cubs rush into things too much. Not everything is a must-decide-now-this-very-instant deal. Don't force things. Allow them to evolve organically. And don't freak out if the relationship ends at some point. In fact, it would be unusual for an early teen crush to succeed. This is a time for you to learn about relationships--and don't forget to simply enjoy life in the moment.

Hope that helps.

Hugs,
Papabear

It came up so randomly.

Some say the fans of My Little Pony are furries, because the colorful ponies are talking animals. What about members of a certain profession? What if they’re pink with hooves, blue uniforms, and lots of them think white is the best color… those are the colors of a certain Pride flag, but I suspect the similarity ends there.

We could ask the National Police Association, but it isn’t talking.

On December 27, Twitter user @EnnexTheFox first noticed being blocked. Lots of puzzled furries chimed in to say they were blocked too. 90 minutes later, @satansmoustache blew it up with the (currently) highest-seen post about the organization which seems to officially represent police.

Only it doesn’t. So why is it blocking? The answer may come from the way it gets people to blow things up.

The National Police Association (@NatPoliceAssoc) is doing a targeted mass-block of furries, that's fucking hilarious

— Satan's Moustache (@satansmoustache) December 27, 2020

Damn, also my account @FurryToday which just tweets out furry related videos every weekday and doesn't engage in comments was blocked.

— Changa Husky (@LurkingGrue) December 28, 2020

Most likely. Lots of LGBTQA+ individuals are also advocates for progressive policies, so we're seen as a threat.

— ⸸ SATANIC SAETHYR ⸸ (@SaethyrS) December 28, 2020

Apparently the so called "National Police Association" is now blockchaining trans people, furries, and any other group known to be sympathetic to minorities.

Definitely not a white nationalist group masquerading as a more innocuous organization.

— Celestial Emily (@Celestial_Emily) December 28, 2020

Yeah it's probably not just furries on the list!

— Satan's Moustache (@satansmoustache) December 27, 2020

I saw that high profile feminist and trans accounts are also blocked

— Kanab (@kanab_farsen) December 28, 2020

Sorry everyone it's my fault pic.twitter.com/pIscz5o4nR

— Dogpatch Press (@DogpatchPress) December 28, 2020

Lots of speculation, and some answers.

As Twitter shows, people can run away with their own stories. A little research finds some facts in Indiana news from 2019.

(IndyStar: This Indianapolis charity says it helps police. Police chiefs say it’s a scam.)

• People in many states got sensational letters about crime to raise donations — the fearmongering almost sounds like a protection racket!
• Donation money didn’t go to police, it went to a newly registered nonprofit that police didn’t know about.
• Police departments in four states issued “scam alerts” for misleading messages.
• IndyStar: “The National Police Association, which was formed in 2017, is not a membership organization. Its only physical presence is a P.O. Box in Indianapolis. With no paid staff, the nonprofit is run by three volunteers.”
• The nonprofit’s treasurer: “The NPA utilizes a third-party company to conduct fundraising”.
• Direct Response Consulting Services does mail and “email marketing, web, social media, and telemarketing”.
• The funds seemed to be intended for crime prevention, but went to politics.

This leads me to some observations.

(1) This organization heavily relies on marketing service because they make hundreds of thousands in donations from it.
(2) The Twitter isn’t run by police looking at protest, it’s run by social media managers looking at engagement.
(3) Marketing may use mass-blocking for anything that doesn’t suit good P.R.
(4) Somehow a lot of furries ended up on a commercially used list.
(5) Remember Tony the Tiger? In 2016, he mass-blocked furries because they kept asking for his cummies.

Yeah, I’d go out on a limb and say this whole thing isn’t because police don’t like furries. That may be projecting more awareness than there is.

It’s more likely because furries are highly active for… not the most corporate-friendly reasons. Not activity that would raise donations to police, and it might lower them. (Besides P.R. or harassment concern, an A.I. sorted list could tie furries with #BLM and far-left activism even if the marketers don’t know it.)

Now, for other animals, furries donate millions in charity.

There’s one thing the news didn’t notice about The National Police Association that perked up my ears. IndyStar said the new org was registered in 2017 (and Guidestar confirms it). But they joined Twitter in 2010. Or at least, an account was made under some name, and who knows what exchanges were made?

No matter how many furries are blocked, they may be a tiny percent of 96.9K followers, and the NPA surely has a lot going on that we don’t see.

Like the article? These take hard work. For more free furry news, follow on Twitter or support not-for-profit Dogpatch Press on Patreon. Want to get involved? Try these subreddits: r/furrydiscuss for news or r/waginheaven for the best of the community. Or send guest writing here. (Content Policy.)

I had to post this because It’s awesome and I show up in it at like :15.

….I probably should have better reasons than that.

Virtual Reality (Music Video)

Once again, it’s probably better if we just let the publishers describe what Mickey’s All-Stars is all about… “Star artists from around the globe each draw a chapter of Mickey’s wildest adventure — from Giorgio Cavazzano (Disney Masters) to Mike Peraza (Mickey’s Christmas Carol) to Marco Rota, plus dozens more! While celebrating his birthday at a carnival, Mickey crosses the threshold of a fortune-teller’s mystic portal and finds himself flung headlong into an amazing journey. He encounters one phantasmagorical dimension after another — a fractured fairy tale kingdom, a cubist realm, and outer space — with plenty of dragons, mummies, and giant mouse-eating plants along the way. (Not to mention alternate versions of Goofy, Peg Leg Pete, and the Phantom Blot!) Can Mickey get back? How deep does this rabbit hole — er, mouse hole — go?” The answer is available now in hardcover from Fantagraphics.

image c. 2020 Fantagraphics Books

When I was younger, I used to watch a lot of action movies. I liked watching things explode, I liked those near-death experiences the main character would go through, I liked the crushing hope followed by those last-minute decisions that saved the day. And man, I got so much of that while reading Crossroads. It was exciting and thrilling. and every character had a part to play in being a hero. The scenes in the book played in my head like an action movie, and many of them were vivid enough to let me almost reach out and touch them.

Crossroads is the second book in the GENMOS series. Having not read the first one, I was a little worried about not knowing what was happening, but Stephen Coghlan did a great job of peppering in small amounts of background information that allowed me to understand the position these genetically modified people find themselves in. In this world, there are humans, and there are Genmos. Genmos are genetically modified humans that have turned partly into anthropomorphic animals. Not only that, but each one has a special ability or two that allows them to fight. They’ll need these abilities if they hope to bring down the evil agency that’s trying to kill them.

*SPOILERS AHEAD* The book starts off with half of the Genmos wanting to get revenge for what happened in the previous book. Against their “father’s” wishes, they infiltrate the agency’s HQ and corrupt their database. Hearing word of their stupid plan from one of his children, the symbolic father figure of the Genmos, Devlin, brings some of the others to help rescue the first group. Barely getting out of there alive, Devlin and his children escape to a new hideout where they try to live a peaceful, hidden life away from society. The group finds Brent Ives, a former evil agent, in their old house when looking for supplies, except he’s broken and mangled—a result of an incomplete Genmos process. Upon seeing him, Devlin is forced to make a choice: either go against his promise and complete the Genmos process again, or leave Ives there to suffer a painful death. Going with the former, Devlin brings Ives back to their hideout and saves him against some of the Genmos’ wishes. When he awakes, Ives is not himself. He’s a cat! And with the bodily change comes an attitude change. Ives—now known as Ibi—rejects his former life as an agent and swears his loyalty to helping the other Genmos. What they don’t know is that this is all according to the agency’s plan…

After they find the Genmos’ hideout and capture some of them, an agent named Ghost—who’s also a tiger Genmos—and the rest of the agency torture Devlin into giving them the rest of the Genmos process. It’s up to the remaining Genmos to rescue their father and siblings and stop the process plans from falling into the wrong hands, or paws. *SPOILERS CONCLUDED*

My main concern with reading this novel was that I wouldn’t understand the gravity of the characters’ situations. As expressed in the previous paragraphs, this was not the case, and I applaud Coghlan for giving just the right amount of explanation in the beginning chapters. With that worry out of the way, I greatly enjoyed this book. It was fun, it was dangerous, and it was very entertaining.

One of the main strengths of this book was the action. It seemed very clear to me as a reader that the author knew they wanted to make an action book that balanced well with the fantasy genre, and that came across strong. The action scenes were strong and well-written. They were clear and decisive, and they did a good job heightening or lowering the growing tension throughout the novel. There were a few places where I got confused as to what was happening, but they didn’t distract me too much.

The plot was pretty simple, which I also felt was a good thing. A book like this doesn’t need a complicated plot to be entertaining. However, I did feel like nothing really got accomplished. There seemed to be a few loose threads that remained from the first book, like Siren and Milan not knowing if their dad was alive. That question gets answered at the end of the book, which is a nice closing point. But that’s about all the ending does. It’s an answer to a question that I didn’t really know was there at the start. Reading only book two, I was more concerned with how this ragtag group of furries was going to stop the evil agency, and the story gets really close to answering that question, but it never quite closes it off. I’m assuming this is to leave room for a book three, but there wasn’t really another sub-plot for me to focus on, so this story just kind of...fell off a cliff at the end.

I did really enjoy the characters though. I can imagine it’s really difficult to write a story with so many characters wanting the spotlight, but Coghlan balanced it out really well, especially in the action scenes. I felt like I got a decent view of each character, which is impressive when you consider that there are like, more than twenty characters in this story. I felt like every single one had a significant moment, and I really admire writers who can manage that.

This book would appeal to teens, young adults, adults, and really anyone who likes action stories. There are some extreme moments where reading it out loud to a kid might not be the best idea, but for the most part it’s an easy-to-read story that’ll keep you entertained.

GENMOS: Crossroads by Stephen Coghlan

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Atty-Boyyo joins us this week to discus their involvement in the fandom and the things they do!  Taeby reads us a very interesting story.  Is zeal laudable? What is an Otariigon?  Can colors be patterns? Can a strumpet have a slumgullion? Does a carcinogenic overweight louse provide sinister swag?  All these questions, and many more, are answered on this week's episode fraught with so many big words.  So join Bearly and Taebyn for some post Christmas fun! Propane!

Support the show

Thanks to all our listeners and to our staff: Bearly Normal, Rayne Raccoon, Taebyn, Cheetaro, TickTock, and Ziggy the Meme Weasel.

You can send us a message on Telegram at BFFT Chat, or via email at: bearlyfurcasting@gmail.com

Bearly Furcasting #35 - Atty-Boyyo, Classic Comedy Bits, PC Storytime, Really Bad Jokes

As we celebrate the 4-year anniversary of the original film’s release, thanks to Animation World Network we’re learning more about the plot of Sing 2, coming to us next December from Illumination. “In Sing 2, can-do koala Buster Moon and his all-star cast of animal performers prepare to launch their most dazzling stage extravaganza yet… in the glittering entertainment capital of the world. There’s just one hitch: They first must to persuade the world’s most reclusive rock star — played by legendary music icon Bono, making his animated film debut — to join them. Buster and his cast have turned the New Moon Theater into a local hit, but Buster has his eyes on a bigger prize: Debuting a new show at the Crystal Tower Theater in glamorous Redshore City.” Check out the article for more details. [And of course, have a Safe and Merry Christmas, everyone!]

image c. 2020 Illumination

Check out a clip from a new Pixar short that drops at Christmas on Disney+, so cute.

 

 

Clip: Burrow

Hope everybody is having a safe holiday.

Hecc… all flights are cancelled…

Ticket For Your Holiday

They just put out the new opening/theme for season 2 and I’m not sure how I feel about ditching the stop motion.

BEASTARS Season 2 Opening

Howloween—not related to the con of the same name—is one of the latest anthologies by Thurston Howl Publications. This erotic-horror collection contains six short stories by different authors which take a new approach to common horror tropes such as haunted buildings, trick-or-treating shenanigans, and, more importantly, monsters. CW: while the anthology focuses more on the erotic part than horror (with one very notable exception), it does contain depictions of dubious consent, physical violence, assisted suicide, among others, so reader discretion is advised. The anthology starts with "Willful Assumption of Chains" by Al Song. This story starts with Will, our foxy main character, restraining Uwe, his wolf boyfriend, before the full moon rises. Unsurprisingly, this is because Uwe is a werewolf (well, he was already a wolf before transforming, so... a wolf-wolf?), but things take a turn for the sexual when Will decides to go check on his boyfriend after not hearing any noises coming from where he's supposed to be kept. What really makes the story for me, besides the hot werewolf bondage action, is how Uwe manages to be quite charming both before and after his transformation, something which plays a role later on in the story. Next is "Cherry Red on Pumpkin Hill" by Richard Coombs. Playing on the typical "haunted house on the hill" trope, this story follows Trisha, a young vixen who decides to stay one night inside an old, dark house where no one who has entered has left...unspanked. Personally, not one of my favorite stories, but this is mostly because of the choice of kink. However, the story does have a nice and fun setup and follow-up, so if spanking's your thing, this should be right up your alley. After that, we continue with "Shockingly Straight" by Ferric. In this story, the only one without a supernatural component, we follow Reeve, a crow porn star, and her attempts to film alongside Smoke, her new feline coworker and the "straight" in the title. One thing that really makes this story stand out is the dual narration between what's being recorded vs. what's actually happening on set, with a very start contrast on the relationship between Reeve, Smoke, and their characters; though the constant interruptions, while realistic, kill some of the pacing. "Good Girls Get Treats" by Faolan comes next. This story stars "Belle," a dog-play enthusiast who has troubles connecting to other pups due to her gender, but who finally finds a kindred spirit in Angel, another pup, and her handler, Meifeng. However, as Meifeng and Angel leave, Belle has to decide whether she follows the pair to who-knows-where to have some more...fun. Personally, my favorite story in the anthology, thanks in no small part to the kinks that were chosen for it, but the characters and pacing also played a big role in it. Next is "Venus in White" by Cedric G! Bacon. In this Gothic horror tale, we follow Severin, a tortured soul whose life revolves around his mistress, the eponymous lady in white. Now, as it can be guessed by the "horror" part, this is the one exception I mentioned at the beginning. Not only do the overall feelings of dread, decay, and stagnation shown by Severin's narration separate this story from the rest of the anthology, but the sex in this story is not what could be considered "good sex." Overall it's a really good story, and if you're looking for horror, this is the one piece you should make sure to read, but if you're here more for the erotic parts, well, let's just say that the Venus does not stay long in white and that many of the content warnings apply almost exclusively to this story. Last but not least, we have "Gently Kept" by Royce Day. This story follows Pete and Chaula, a couple of friends who go to an abandoned asylum, but things get complicated when Pete gets trapped inside one of the rooms with no way of getting out, and that's besides the disembodied voices they've been hearing. While not to the same extremes as the previous story, this one could also be considered to lean a little more on the horror part of erotic-horror, especially when taking into account that the kink explored in this story is chastity (an ironic yet fitting choice). As a whole, Howloween was a fun read, and the several nice illustrations by Tokenworks were the icing on the cake. If you're looking for something short and sweet to read next October, this might just be the book for you; but if you're looking for something to make your skin crawl, there might be better options.

Howloween, vol. 1, ed. Thurston Howl

In tandem with event virtualisations globally due to COVID-19, this year’s Furry Film Festival (F3) saw a total of 8 magic-themed short films from various participants. Well-known furry fandom personalities YouTuber Majira Strawberry, filmmaker Ash Coyote and Twitch streamer Kiit Lock was in attendance at the judge panel. With five awards in store, the nearly […]

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The staff of BFFT get together for a holiday gathering and chat about Christmas traditions. Taebyn reads a couple of Christmas stories and Regdeh sings a holiday classic.  We even make a phone call to the North Pole and Chat with the main Polar Bear himself: Santa Paws!  So grab a cup of eggnog, or your favorite holiday beverage and join the party!

Support the show

Thanks to all our listeners and to our staff: Bearly Normal, Rayne Raccoon, Taebyn, Cheetaro, TickTock, and Ziggy the Meme Weasel.

You can send us a message on Telegram at BFFT Chat, or via email at: bearlyfurcasting@gmail.com

A Bearly Furcasting Staff Christmas!

今年首度舉辦的新獸迷活動Furpoint獸聚點，於臺北市大安區的「Night & Day Bistro旅人的時區」正式舉辦，主辦方在參與人數上了做出了限制，令此次的活動的進行方式有別於以往的大型獸迷聚會。接下來，讓我們為您，一探究竟。

2020年疫情風波持續延燒，隨著臺灣最大規模的獸迷活動「獸無限Infurnity」改為線上舉辦，一些中小型活動也如雨後春筍般的誕生；其中除了於上月11月21號臺南市舉辦的FurMIT之外，便是今年最後的一場活動——Furpoint獸聚點，與以往大型獸迷活動最大的差異，就在於場地大小以及受到限制的參與人數，此次活動的參與人數只有約90人，因此活動內容也與以往有所差異。

主辦 V：｢我在大概五六月的時候，想說獸無限取消了，年底好無聊哦，自己辦一個好了，但我在想說嗯…辦一個不要太大的好了（切畫面）。我覺得以前獸展，人很多，然後又走來走去，所以相說乾脆弄一個小不拉機的，然後讓每個人都可以講話，而且可以輕鬆控制場地會比較好一點。｣

｢以臺灣獸展來說的話，比較缺乏是多樣化，我這次辦這個也只是單純想要去嘗試一個…像實驗吧？｣

副主辦 夢魘：｢（大型獸聚）他可以辦很多很多元的、很華麗的活動，但是相對的，人跟人之間的交流就會沖淡許多；再回過來看小型獸聚，相對的人與人之間、獸迷與獸迷的交流就變得非常的密切又頻繁，但是相對的他們就比較沒有大型獸聚那種有辦法商業規模經營、或者是說去辦法辦很多很複雜很多元的活動。（大小型獸聚）各自的優點融合在一起，其實也真的是一部份想實驗看看，這樣的規模、這樣的活動，在臺灣這樣子舉辦，是不是有個蠻不錯的結果。｣

活動的內容也是十分豐富，包括主題獸聊、桌遊、毛毛團康遊戲以及電音派對等，此外主辦方更是請來了國際獸迷的研究機關Furscience進行講座解說。

副主辦 夢魘：｢我們這次報名得到的毛毛數大概是在20到21隻左右，連同我跟主辦兩隻毛的話總共有20到21隻，那實際到會場的話，好像只有一兩隻毛毛還沒來｣

雖然不如大型獸聚盛大，但小型規模的活動卻也別有一番新意；不過無論如何，讓參與在其中的大家能在活動中玩得開心，才是最重要的。（傑克 魟／臺北市報導）

Animation World Network let us know about Love Monster, a new animated series for the young set that’s coming soon to HBO Max. It’s based on a series of picture books by Rachel Bright. “Love Monster follows the colorful and funny exploits of one-of-a-kind, huggable hero Love Monster as he navigates the challenges involved in being a bit funny looking in a world of cute fluffy things. Every day provides Love Monster the opportunity to embark on all kinds of big adventures with his friends in Fluffytown, where, together, they learn all kinds of little life lessons. Full of heart and helping preschoolers understand and manage different emotions, Love Monster showcases the importance of kindness, empathy, connection, and instinct.” The AWN article includes an official trailer.

image c. 2020 Boat Rocker Studios