Feed aggregator

submitted by 123mine123
[link] [3 comments]

Dear papa bear,

I am a male & recently (June 2015), I told my best friend that I like him. Before telling him, he gave me several hints that suggested he felt the same way. (Saying I had a big dick, asking if I could rap my dick a fruit roll up, asking why does the light skinned dick have to be bigger than the dark skin dick, waiting for me to get out the shower so we could end up getting dressed at the same time, and so on). So I let all these things build up before I actually told him. I tried to find a way for 2 months to tell him, but I finally did. The conversation went something like I said, "Have you ever just liked somebody & didn't know how to tell them." He said "Nahh" So then I said "Well I really feel some type of way about this person." His response was "Who, male or female?" I said "Male." He said, "Who, Paul?" I said, "No." Then he said, "Who? Me?" I said, "Yes." Then he said, "Oh. Well different people have different preferences." So as we were getting out the car I said I'll text you & he said ok. So while we were texting I told him again & he said he wasn't a homo & assured me he wasn't going to tell anyone. A few days after that, I left to go out of town so we didn't see each other for the whole summer. It wasn't until we got back to school in the fall that I found out he had went around telling everyone & acting funny with me. One day we would be friends, then next we wouldn't. I couldn't understand why my best friend was doing me this way. I tried several times to fix our friendship, but nothing worked. He started talking to all these females & having sex with them after we've been in college 4 years & this is when he decides to do this to prove to people that he is not gay, when everybody knows he is lying. To sum it up, we ended up fighting by the end of the semester & the little bit of friendship we had is now gone. We haven't talked since November 24 & it's now January 5. What should I do?

Anonymous (age 21)
 
* * *
 
Dear Anon,
 
I can tell from this letter that you’re pretty smart. You’ve figured out exactly what I would have said: this is classic overcompensation by your friend to disguise the fact that he’s gay. He’s distance himself from you by telling everyone you’re gay, and then jumped into a pool of wanton heterosexual sex to try and convince everyone how masculine he is (and how immature). Could you be wrong that he’s gay? Hmm, maybe, but it’s kinda true that guys like us have a “gaydar,” as they say. You can tell. Heck, even straight people can tell a lot of the time, as you seem to indicate in your letter by implying most people who know him on campus have figured it out, except a few dense and overly horny students he’s managed to sleep with.
​
Since you already understand what’s going on, this will be a very short reply on Papabear’s part. Go talk to him once more, and simply say, “Buddy, we both know who you really are inside. When you get over being afraid of that, give me a call. In the meantime, make sure you wear a condom when you’re having sex with all those girls and pretending to be straight.”

And walk away.

You’ve left the door open if he wants to talk to you (don’t shut it), but there’s no reason you should have to put up with his childish drama. Life is far too short to waste a lot of time on someone who might not even want to be fixed. If you’re searching for a boyfriend or more, start looking for someone who knows who he is and doesn’t play games. You’ll be much happier. Remember, you aren’t responsible for trying to help people who don’t want to be helped. You have to wait until they ask.

In this life, friends come and some of them go. Don’t worry. You’ll be fine.
 
Hugs,
Papabear
 

submitted by MisaCollett
[link] [15 comments]

Guest post submitted by Akhetnu.

Furry is a unique exploration and interpretation of the human experience, warts and all, through the lens of animals both real and fantastic.  Many of these creatures are unique to certain parts of the world, especially the imaginary ones that form part of the mythological archetypes of the cultures other than our own.  When it comes to looking at humanity, we also tend to investigate these various cultures as they existed and continue to exist throughout time. 

As a result, there are many fursuits, fursonas and furry art of beings such as dragons from East Asia adorned in silk kimono, wolves dressed as Navajo warriors, and raptors wearing uniforms of the imperial Prussian army (that was a shameless plug for myself, incidentally).  Still others may adopt a small piece of a cultural artifact such as a ying-yang symbol, Alpaca poncho, or a Chinese character tattoo.  Furries may even refer to their fursonas as ‘totems’, at least if that concept is in the popular consciousness of their society.   

Many of these furries are not themselves descendants of the cultures portrayed on their fursonas or suits.  This had led to concerns over cultural appropriation, which is believed by many to be problematic in that is dehumanizes the people of other cultures and robs them of their own identities, as and hence is thought to represent Western white oppression of minorities. 

An example in the real world was at Yale University where a letter was circulated urging students not to adopt Halloween costumes portraying other cultures, as it was allegedly harmful to others of those cultures.  An art exhibit wherein people could try on the kimono used in a painting by Monet was shut down after protests accusing the art gallery of cultural appropriation.  A Columbian student in Canada was told not to wear his own Columbian poncho and hat for Halloween, not because it was him culturally appropriating (can you appropriate from yourself?) but because other students may have mistaken it for such.

What, then, is the appropriate way to appropriate?  I would first offer the suggestion that cultural appropriation is not in itself problematic or objectively harmful.  Rather, it is a natural and historical outcome of the interaction between any two cultures, and is invariably two-way.   For example, American blue jeans or cowboy images are popular throughout the world, even as samurai literature fueled cowboy Western films, which were themselves produced in Italy.  Not only that, but specific cultural ideas and artifacts adopted from one culture by another will invariably be altered by the latter to suit their own needs. 

Voodoo came from West African slaves incorporating Christianity into their native religious practices.  Many Chinese in Shanghai would don a Western fedora and scarf with their own cheongsam, Japanese tempura was adopted from Portugese deep frying, Japanese Judo is practiced in Brazil, while Zen Buddhism came to the US in the 1950s and adopted a unique character all its own, even as Japanese Zen was different in some ways from the original Chinese Chan Buddhism.

Some may counter that the difference between such cultural exchanges and cultural appropriation is the latter involves one culture dominating another.  Yet, it is impossible for any culture to encounter each other on a purely level playing field, technologically, militarily, politically or economically.  In addition, the end results of the cultural exchanges between different power balances seem similar: each culture is influenced by the other regardless of who has more power.

Cultural appropriation may actually help keep fading cultures in the public consciousness. The Boy Scouts get accused of cultural appropriation of Native American symbolism in their Order of the Arrow group, but that many native tribes actually like what they do because it keeps their traditions alive.  In fact the Order of the Arrow is advised by representatives of Native American tribes.  Meanwhile, the Japanese love when others adopt elements of their cultures so much that they have a term for it, “cool Japan”. 

When you look at who is accusing other people of cultural appropriation, it often comes from those outside of the cultures they claim are being harmed. In fact, it tends to be people who were born and/or raised in the US.  Even Speedy Gonzalez is loved by many Mexicans; they recognize that as a comic character he will have humorous exaggerations, but his ultimate heroism and amusement is something they find enjoyable.  Polling consistently shows many native Americans do not mind mascots patterned on their people.  When an Arab character was shown in a recent Street Fighter video game, audiences in the middle east cheered while some Americans wrung their hands.  As with anything, opinions vary inside and outside the cultures portrayed in Western media.

Another issue brought up is appropriation being undesirable in the context of commerce: using other cultures for marketing or selling items inspired by said cultures. Again, I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing…trade is among the first interactions between cultures, after all. Settlers and native peoples would usually exchange ornamentation and fabrics they created.  In fact, cultural exchange is often enabled by trade.  That much of it took the form of bartering means it also took place outside of a purely ‘capitalist’ system.  All cultures have also bought and sold most of their artifacts among themselves, such as clothing, food and other items, to begin with.

While cultural appropriation is natural and largely beneficial, it does not seem unreasonable to take certain steps when adopting the trappings of another culture, if one is presenting themselves as authentic representations of that culture.  At that point, they are fulfilling the role of educator in a sense, or at least a reenactor, and hence it is useful to follow the rules reenactors adopt. 

Essentially, they should undertake research and attention to detail with all due diligence.  They should clarify, if needed, that they are not from that culture, not pretend to know what they do not know, and can point to a good source for more information.  That way they do not misrepresent what they are portraying, and faithfully represent it all they can within the limits of their budget and research.

At the same time, if someone is just using a symbol, cultural artifact or idea as part of their fursona, with a different interpretation or as part of an eclectic presentation, they need not have to fit any strictly traditional or historical pattern.  All they need is to be honest about that too, drawing a distinction between “portraying X” versus “being inspired by X”.  After all, being inspired by someone or something is to respect that aspect of them, because you feel it is worthy enough to incorporate into your own experience. 

In addition, it is courteous at the very least to not portray the other culture in a mean spirited manner that mocks it.  This is ultimately a judgment call, since some comic exaggeration is not uncommon in any furry portrayal.  As long as the intent of the suiter or fan is not to ridicule the other culture, it is reasonable to avoid reading a mocking intent into it without asking.  For example, in San Francisco Chinatown I have seen conical hats and even caps with fake queues for sale.  These can be considered ‘costumes’ but even the ethnic Chinese shopkeepers sell them voluntarily, and seem happy to make money off of what may be very silly looking tourists donning their wares.  Of course, all countries have their own ‘national costume’, so cultures ARE costumes.  Everything is a costume if it’s not what you normally wear. 

In furry we are all about costumes: we appropriate species by definition, and if you ask enough vegans, you’ll find out that some view humans as oppressing animals as well.

In spite of all this, there is one aspect to cultural appropriation that does seem more clear cut: adopting unearned honors.  Any society will use symbols to designate those members who have proven their merit in some aspect of the social hierarchy.  Military medals for valor, the Nobel Prize, and doctoral degrees come to mind.  To wear an item of such importance that is still being awarded by an existing culture, while not having done what is necessary to earn it, can be construed as misrepresenting one’s self and diluting the honor associated with the item.  Since those cultures still exist, their members expect those symbols to represent and communicate certain things about the wearer. 

In my own Prussian officer fursuit, I wear only two medals: the German Armed Forces Proficiency Badge (a real, modern German award I have actually earned in the Army), and the WWI version of the Iron Cross Second Class (a defunct award no longer given, with no living recipients).  I even wear military rank that corresponds to my current Army rank of captain.

So what if you are from a culture being portrayed in some way in fandom? 

If you see errors, it’s certainly appropriate to politely correct any misconceptions or simply give additional information for the benefit of the “appropriator” and the audience.  At the same time, one should also ask if the person is trying to be a full reenactor of their culture, or is just using part of it in a new way.  Asking that person’s view of the culture is perhaps the most revealing: if they enjoy or admire some aspects of it, whatever they are doing is unlikely to be with the intent of ridicule.  If they admit to disliking the culture and are portraying it in a manner that seems ridiculous, expressing one’s disapproval is equally valid.  Just because someone can do something legally does not mean it is illegal for someone to likewise explain why they find it offensive.

– Akhetnu

submitted by topaz-colite
[link] [68 comments]

Seeing that I’m a fox I wonder if I could uses touch screen devices with paws seeing that touch screens work with human skin. no headphones would fit me seeing that my ears would be on the top of my head Also a tail would be a pain to work with when I go to the loo even sit in chairs. I would have to eat a special diet I could not eat chocolate :( washing my self would be a pain I would go though a lot shampoo. the summers would be dangerous for me 40+C heat would be a nightmare.

submitted by mind-lux
[link] [66 comments]

submitted by NietoFox
[link] [51 comments]

submitted by Cyantler
[link] [1 comment]

submitted by dreamingwanderer
[link] [4 comments]

1. Tell us about your most recent project (written or published). What inspired it?

Let me get to that in a moment.  This’ll make sense when I get down to it, trust me.

Up to this point, just about every story I’ve written has been in one of two categories.  In one, I was writing for submission.  Just about every anthology has at least a broad theme, so just to start with I’m working under thematic limitations.  Even in situations where the theme either coincided with my own interests or was broad enough that I could do my own take with it, there were always word limitations, or content limitations–things I had to include, or things that I wasn’t allowed to include.  Not that I’m saying they’re restrictive, mind you.  If you’ve read a few of the anthologies out there, I think you’ll find that the stories included are usually quite diverse.  It’s just that while going in, I’ve always got this image in mind that’s pretty tightly boxed.  The story must be about this long, and it must contain these themes, and here are the lines in the dirt across which I must not put a toe.  Anthologies are great for keeping the writing juices flowing.  There are even a few stories I’ve written that wouldn’t exist if it hadn’t been for these themes.

In the other category, I’m writing just for my own enjoyment–quick pieces to post online, or longer challenges I came up with for myself to hopefully make myself a more adept writer.  These are usually don’t conform to any particular limits, and in the past I’ve explored some rather more extreme topics in them.  I’d like to think that these pieces are what I use to really grow as an author, but I’m not fooling myself.  They lack focus.  They wander through the plot.  When I read back through them, they’re little morsels of golden prose, linked by an otherwise mediocre framework.  It’s the type of work that any competent editor would take a big red pen to–and on the few occasions that one’s gone into print, that’s exactly what happened.

So back to your question.  Over the last year, I’ve spent a lot of time working on my first full-length novel.  Unlike the anthology submissions, it’s really unbound by any particular limit–except that it needed to be long enough to be a novel.  And unlike the ones I’ve written for my own enjoyment, I’ve taken the time to give it a good polish.  At the time of answering your question here, it’s done and sitting in a slush pile.

2. What’s your writing process like? Are you a “pantser,” an outliner, or something in between?

I think I’m about as far as you can get from being a pantser.  In fact, I’d like to state for the record that I “pants” as little as possible.  I prefer my stories with no pants at all!  Before I torture this metaphor too much further, I’m actually telling the truth.  My process for story writing is to think up the world, plot, and characters, and then tell myself their story over and over and over in my head until I feel it’s ready to come out.  The process of writing for me only really starts once the story is done.

That said, the process of writing is a bit of a battle for me.  It’s a combat between ‘the way it sounded in my head’ and ‘the way it reads best on paper’.  I know what needs to happen, so the hours I spend at the keyboard are primarily spent looking for the most clear, concise, and beautiful way to tell the story that’s running through my head.  If there’s any “pants” to be had in my process, it’s the struggle to fit the whole scene in my head into as few words as I can manage in print.

3. What’s your favorite kind of story to write?

Absolutely sci-fi.  I grew up with (and still love) fantasy, but I’ve slowly grown out of the world of magic and wizards.  I think at this point I’m too much of a desk chair scientist to be happy with an answer of “It works that way because it’s magic.”

4. Which character from your work do you most identify with, and why?

Oooh, are you tempting me to reveal my dirty secrets of self-insertion?

Well, I do have a few characters I’ve written that I can identify with.  As many of my friends were quick to point out, the fox in the story “On the Bright Beach” is quite clearly my own attempt at wish fulfillment (You can find that one on my SoFurry).  Okay, fine.  I admit it.  I wrote the story as if I were there personally.  But really, it was meant to be just a fun romp, and I didn’t see any harm in it.

But that doesn’t really answer the question well.  It’s a bit of a cop-out to answer ‘With whom do I most identify’ with ‘Myself.’  I think if I had to pick a character in another story that I tried to put the most ‘me’ into without settling for self insertion, that would be Taj from “Seducing the Sky.” (This one’s in Hot Dish from Sofawolf Press.)  I don’t think I really have the credentials to claim to be what he is–a trained symbiote-pilot from a super-advanced predatory alien species–but the personality I drew from experience.  I really like the concept of a warrior-philosopher.  Even though my analytical side calls it complete bunk, the idea of a soldier that follows the mantra of Sun Tzu’s Art of War intrigues me.

5. Which authors or books have most influenced your work?

I think there’s three authors who’ve most heavily influenced my writing.  First, I grew up reading books by Mercedes Lackey.  She has a way with characters that makes me care about them so passionately that I’ll get genuinely angry or sad or elated for them.  Even though I have some difficulty going back to those books now, I remember how they made me feel–and that’s exactly what I aim for when I’m writing my own characters.

Second is Terry Pratchett.  Besides being a thoroughly enjoyable read, his novels have taught me one thing: A character is made more vivid by their flaws than by their strengths.  Every one of his memorable characters are truly flawed people–and because those flaws are more than skin-deep they’re so much more lifelike to me than popular media’s endless crusade of grizzled marines.

Third, and I think most importantly, is an author named Paul Kidd.  I bought his book A Whisper of Wings way back when it first came out.  I saw an advertisement for it in something–I can’t remember what it was, maybe Yarf?  I was young enough that I had to have my mom cut a check and mail it off to get it.  Even though I can deconstruct it now and see a lot of the character archetypes for what they are, at the time it was an inspirational read.  Since then, I’ve collected a good amount of his novels and quite thoroughly devoured them.  I think that it was his book Fey that convinced me that not only could I write, but I should.

6. What’s the last book you read that you really loved?

I read Ready Player One on the plane flight over to the states for Rainfurrest this year.  I really should have tried to get some sleep.  By the time I arrived, I was absolutely shattered.  I blame the book entirely for this, because it was fantastic.  I didn’t want to stop reading.  By the time I arrived in Seattle, the book was done, I was tired and about ready to collapse, and I didn’t regret even a single minute of it.

7. Besides writing, how do you like to spend your free time?

Gaming!  I know that’s a pretty general answer, but I’m a pretty general gamer.  Sure, I like the bog-standard vidja games like any good child of the nineties, but I also love tabletop gaming, both board gaming and roleplaying games.  I’d say that a vast majority of my free time is spent playing games with friends–that’s the time I have to carve my writing time out of.

8. Advice for other writers?

Write.  I know, that’s a bit of a no-brainer, but I have to think that it’s less obvious than it seems.  I run panels at Eurofurence and Confuzzled in Europe, and even though attendance is great, I get lots of guilty looks when I ask people about what they’ve recently written.  Too often I hear people talking about this story they wrote this one time a while back, when what I really want to hear is about one of the many stories they’ve written recently.  Writing is a skill that degrades with time.  If you’re not writing, then at some point in the future, you will no longer be a writer.

9. Where can readers find your work?

Best bet is to check out kandrel.sofurry.com.  I do upload stories to a few other places, such as Weasyl and FA, but I maintain that SoFurry is currently the best platform for reading stories.  In addition, keep an eye on @Kandrel over at Twitter.  I’ll talk about recent projects and things I’ve been published in.  Hopefully, sometime in the near future I’ll get off my ass and mock up a site with my full book list.

10. What’s your favorite thing about the furry fandom?

No matter where I go, there are friends there.  I’ve had the opportunity to travel around the world, and it seems that no matter where I travel, just a few pokes online finds me locals to visit, and I know that going in we’ve already got something we share.

 

Check out Kandrel’s member bio here!

submitted by Ryuu_Girl
[link] [3 comments]

After becoming that much more well-known the world over (thanks to a certain hit live-action movie, we hear), both Rocket Raccoon and Groot (the talking tree) found time to star in their own full-color comic book series from Marvel. What fans wanted though, of course, was for them to team up again and bring more of their own special brand of mayhem to the galaxy. Wishes granted! Now Skottie Young (writer) and Filipe Andrade (illustrator) have returned with a brand new series called (what else?) Rocket Raccoon and Groot.  And this time, Rocket is… an interplanetary crime boss? Say it isn’t so! See what they DO say over at the Marvel Comics web site, where they interview Mr. Young for his perspective on this. [And with that, we’ll see you after Further Confusion!]

image c. 2016 Marvel Comics

submitted by electricfoxx
[link] [1 comment]

submitted by Cyantler
[link] [1 comment]

Legit, I've had really awesome, talented people who are way better at art than I am watch me just because I put ridiculous titles on my submissions.

People don't even commission me for my art at this point they just want to see my fucking titles, I swear.

submitted by starsyringe
[link] [7 comments]

submitted by GetToSreppin
[link] [5 comments]

submitted by The_Matkat
[link] [2 comments]

submitted by youfuckstookallnames
[link] [12 comments]

Furries in the documentary "Fursona" come to Utah to compete in the Slamdance Film Festival
Furries in the documentary "Fursona" come to Utah to compete in the Slamdance Film Festival
"FURSONA" DOCUMENTARY
“Fursona” is a documentary premiering at the Slamdance Film Festival in Park City on Jan. 22. It’s a first time effort for director Dominic Rodriguez that focuses on the world of furries, people who like to dress up like animals. “I think that part of what the journey of the movie was the struggle and making a good solid definition because there are so many people in it," said Rodriguez.

“I had called myself a furry but I never really understood it until I was about 17 years old. I went to work as a mascot for a Single A baseball team, surprisingly as a raccoon. And the first time I got in that suit and that mascot was just completely surreal. I mean, I could be as energetic, as happy, as crazy as I could be and people loved it." - Diezel
"Since it’s different to everyone that is in that community," Rodriguez said., "it’s hard to say something that is all inclusive.”

Rodriguez who is a furry himself, said he wanted to shed some light on the furry community. However, because of the negative media coverage in past years, it’s difficult to do.

“There’s a lot of fear in the furry community about it being misrepresented," he said.

You can see furries all around at amusement parks, mascots at football games, and sometimes even on Main Street promoting a company or event. For some furries, it’s a profession, while for others, it’s a lifestyle.

“So many of us are into creating art and street performance basically with our fur suits.”said Cameron Liddiard, a furry who lives in Utah.

“A lot of furry conventions have dance competitions because there is a big dance art community in the fandom. It’s different than any other fandom because like here, no one cares who wins, everyone supports everyone, and like it’s just a big family.” – Skye
Throughout the documentary the audience is exposed to conflicts within the community. Everything from how to be a furry, to politics within their society.

Uncle Kage is a researcher by profession and is also a chairman of Anthrocon, a furry convention. He wears a lab coat at his speaking engagements opposed to his furry costume.

“I’ve got a professional reputation that I have to maintain.” - Uncle Kage

Another fursona is Boomer. He’s the antithesis of Uncle Kage who made his own costume out of clothes and shredded paper. He sweeps parts of his hair on top of his head making puppy ears.

“I love furries so much I want to see all kinds of people have it and enjoy it if they’d like to. And I’d like them to see all sides of furry, you know good and bad, whatever it is. I don’t think there’s much bad to it. People try to discover themselves in different ways.” - Boomer
“I didn’t want to just turn it into, like this tight, neat, little story. I wanted to get to know the people so we spent years,” Rodriguez said. “Like when I first met Boomer, I was shocked by his lifestyle but then the more I got to know him the more insight he shared with me and I sort of realized what a good handle on all of this he has.”

Rodriguez realized throughout the making of the documentary that something complex can still be positive.

“It doesn’t necessarily need to be like a PR piece to still have an overall positive effect,” he said. “I think if furries are portrayed as humans, you know as like flawed human ... that isn't necessarily a negative thing.”

And when all is said and done, as Rodriguez said, he hopes people walk away with a better understanding of who they are.

“It seems so strange at first,” Rodriguez said. “I hope at the end of it it’s not about furry anymore for the audience and they've just gotten to know these people. But see them as people and I think that is so important to me.”

submitted by out_foxed9
[link] [12 comments]