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Not really anthropomorphic per ce, but certainly a fine specimen of animal art. Magnetic Press have released the latest edition of the European hardcover graphic novel series of wildlife adventures called Love. The latest, Love Volume 3, is about The Lion. (Following Volume 1: The Tiger and Volume 2: The Fox.) “The third volume in the lavishly illustrated series of wildlife graphic novels, each following a single central animal through an adventurous day in their natural environment. This exciting tale, written by Frederic Brremaud, is told without narration or dialogue, conveyed entirely through the beautiful illustrations of Federico Bertolucci. Both heartwarming and heartbreaking, this volume focuses on a solitary Lion as it wanders the plains of Africa, handling the daily hunt, and vicious rivalry, without a Pride of its own. The circle of Life takes center stage in a world where predator and prey trade places on a regular basis, and family is something worth fighting – and dying – for.” Ha! We see what you did there! Order it now at Comixology. [Off to San Diego! We’ll see you all next week.]

image c. 2016 Magnetic Press

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.  Fred writes: “A few reviews of furry books that I wrote in 2003 or 2004 have vanished from the Internet.  I wrote them for the first version of Watts Martin’s Claw & Quill site, which he has apparently taken down. Here they are back online.”

No Time Like Show Time: A Hermux Tantamoq Adventure, by Michael Hoeye.
NYC, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, September 2004, hardcover $14.99 (277 pages).

Hoeye’s Hermux Tantamoq novels are one of the major publishing-industry success stories of the decade. His first was rejected by all major publishers. So he self-published it and its sequel, sent free copies to dozens of libraries and reviewers, and got so many rave reviews that the big publishers quickly changed their minds. Time Stops for No Mouse (2000) and The Sands of Time (2001) were reprinted by Putnam in 2002.

Hermux Tantamoq is a young watchmaker in the mouse city of Pinchester who lives alone with his pet ladybug, Terfle. In the first novel, daring aviatrix-explorer Linka Perflinger brings her watch to his shop for repair. When she disappears and a shady rat tries to claim it, Hermux investigates and is drawn into an old-fashioned pulp-thriller adventure to save her. The Sands of Time is a similar adventure in which Hermux, Linka, and an old chipmunk explorer search a distant desert for the buried ruins of a forgotten cat civilization while being hunted by mouse-supremacist assassins who want to suppress the knowledge that there was ever a pre-mouse empire.

Hermux got into those adventures mostly by accident. He was happy to fade back into anonymity in his watch shop at their end. But he got enough publicity that when theatrical impresario Fluster Varmint starts receiving death threats, he misremembers Hermux as a famous detective and calls on him to investigate. Hermux is reluctant until he discovers that his least-favorite Pinchester celebrity, arrogant cosmetics tycoon Tucka Mertslin, is plotting to take over the city’s historic palace-theater, now the Folies-type Varmint Variety Theater, and turn it into a garish cosmetics office-showroom.

“[Hermux] rushed through the doors of the Varmint Variety Theater, barely pausing to appreciate the workmanship of their pumpkin-vine hinges and matching wrought-iron doorknobs. He was in such a hurry that he scooted right through the historic grove of artificial aspen trees with their hand-blown Spiffany glass leaves. Crossing the lobby to the box office, Hermux scarcely gave the exquisite floor a glance. […] The box office occupied a rustic hut that sat beside an authentic reproduction of a waterfall. […]” (pgs. 13-14)

Hermux will do anything to save the lovely building. But he is only one mouse, and Mertslin has the support of Pinchester’s Weekly Squeak (she is one of its leading advertisers). When Mertslin learns that Varmint’s ownership of the Theater is challengeable (he bought it long ago with a massive loan from the Theater’s then-leading star, who disappeared after a mysterious tragedy so Varmint has not been able to repay the loan), she hires lots of lawyers to try to get the missing Nurella Pinch declared the legal owner of the Theater, then legally dead with herself as the executrix of Pinch’s estate. Meanwhile, things are more dangerous than either suspect, because the hoodlum that Mertslin uses to scare Varmint decides that it is to his advantage to really start murdering people to gain a blackmail hold over Mertslin.

Most of the characters in Show Time are mice (Fluster Varmint is “a barrel-chested mouse with a big baritone”, while his daughter and manager Beulith is an attractive mouse with “two perfect front teeth — long, elegantly arched, and tinted a very pleasing pale yellow”), but there are also a flying-squirrel messenger boy, a hedgehog bookkeeper, such would-be actors as “A noisy group of prairie-dog impersonators wearing matching paisley boleros, toreador pants, and very high heels” and “A chipmunk dressed as a potato”, an otter fashion designer, a shrew ventriloquist, and other mostly-rodent-sized animals.

Hoeye has a fine eye for rodentine appearances:

“Fluster Varmint was a visionary. When he thought long tails were more elegant, showgirls grew longer tails. When he thought bushy tails were more provocative, they grew bushier tails. If Fluster thought hamsters made the funniest comedians, then suddenly everywhere hamsters were telling jokes and wearing peculiar hats.” (pg. 34)

When Hermux is calling on Linka, “he straightened his whiskers and fluffed out the fur in his ears.” (pg. 29)

Hermux’s third tale is a change of pace for him, being more of a Phantom of the Opera backstage mystery and courtroom drama than an Indiana Jones search for treasure in foreign jungles and deserts. Since it takes place in Pinchester, Hermux’s ladybug Terfle is able to emerge from her cage for the first time and accompany him in a faithful-dog role. No Time Like Show Time is clever old-fashioned detective comedy-suspense adventure that would not disappoint a fan of the 1930s Thin Man movies — with a furry cast.

– Fred Patten,

• Buy online

 

Furries, or so it seems to me, have a split in their views. When it comes to sex, we are all in favor for allowing two individuals to get up to whatever they want, so long as they both consent. However, when it comes to money, we suddenly become a lot more wary about letting others make their own decisions. Surveys done by [adjective][species] seem to agree with this; finding social liberalism much higher than economic liberalism. It would seem that attitudes are correct on the former, but these are contradicted by the latter. In this essay, I will attempt to show why capitalism, and a free-furry-market, are ultimately a huge boon for the fandom.

Before going on, I wish to address a criticism now – In this article, I will be talking about the “quality” of pieces that an artist can produce. It may be argued that the quality of art is purely subjective, and thus the quality of two pieces cannot be compared so objectively. To an extent, I would agree that taste comes into how much a person is willing to pay for artwork. When I use “quality” I am using it the sense of complexity – whether something is shaded, sketched, accurately represent what the artist wishes it to represent, etc… Whilst the artist style will obviously effect what a person is willing to pay, it is also clear that a fully coloured and shaded piece is of a higher quality than just a sketch.

A lot of furries wonder about the value of a piece of art, that is to say, how much an artist ought to be paid, and for what. One assumption I have seen is that there is a “true” value behind an artist time. Many furries will encourage artists to charge the “right amount” for their time, due to how valuable it is.
But this is missing out on what really determines the value of an artist time – how much people are willing to pay, and for what. A piece of work may take artist A hours upon hours to finish, and, at the end of the effort, that artist may have a decent quality piece. In the meantime, artist B, who is more experienced, produces two pieces, which are of equal standards to A’s. Artist C can also only produce a single piece in that time, but, unlike A and B, they have given it detailed backgrounds, shading, and other such things. If those three artist then sold their work, C would likely charge the highest, say, $90. A and B may then both sell their pieces for $40 each.

A – Decent quality – 1 piece, $40
B – Decent quality – 2 pieces, each $40
C – High quality – 1 piece, $90
1. Assuming all three artist sell their work for the prices they wished, C will make the most money, followed by B, and then A. Because B was able to create two pieces within the same time as A, and the market was willing to pay $40 for a decent quality work, they were able to make double what A made. C made more than either artist, but in the same time frame. The market does not care how long it took any of these artists; what matters is the quality of the work and the amount that each charge for that piece of work. The fact that A tried their hardest, yet still only made half of what B made just goes to show that markets do not care for the actual subjective effort required. An artist time is only worth as much as what they can produce, and what the market is willing to pay for.
To further prove this, let’s introduce artist D, who is still fairly new, but their work is of a marketable quality, though not nearly as good as A or B’s. If they then sold their work for $40, and it took them double the time to create that work, then they would make even less. If the market did not wish to pay $40, they would make nothing; and why should the market pay for lesser quality, when the same price will afford them A or B’s work? The truth of the matter is that, whilst D is a new artist, and of less skill, they may only be able to charge $5 to create a piece that would take the same time to create as A, B, or C.
Does that seem unfair? It may, since artist D tries extremely hard, but is only able to make a fraction of what C does, but consider the alternatives:

If nobody was allowed to charge for their work, then C would not be able to become rewarded for their time, and may lose what supports them financially. The inability to charge would also hurt D, as people would suddenly wonder why they should bother with them, when A, B, and C are all producing higher quality works. Before, D could gain attention by offering their work for cheaper, allowing them to earn something from their work whilst honing their skills. If they enjoy making art, then why should it matter that somebody else is making more? Is it fair to remove a small bonus to D’s artistic endeavors, simply because somebody more skilled is earning more? If D is happy just to be earning something, then what C is earning should not matter. As D gets better, demand for their art will increase, and, eventually, they will be able to charge more, but until that time, they have to start somewhere. Why try and tackle inequality by making everybody worse off?

Another suggestion might be to make all artist charge a minimum amount. This would mean that C can still charge $90, but it would also mean that D cannot be undercut for their time. If the minimum began at, say, $40 per piece, then it may seem at a first glance that D would be much better off. However, let us consider this more closely: If D charged $40 for a piece of their work, then they would suddenly be competing with both A and B. When D’s work is of a lesser quality than A or B’s, the market would simply decide to spend that $40 on the higher quality product. D would not be able to compete with that: the reason they were able to earn $5 a piece as they grew as an artist was because they were not competing with others, but instead occupying a slot in the market. Even though D may not be able to produce pieces of the same quality as A or B’s, people would still allow them to earn something purely by virtue of D being cheaper. Ultimately, if all artist were forced to charge a “minimum”, it would hurt newer artist the most. Sure, A and B would be protected from having to lower their prices to compete with another, but that problem can also be addressed.
If artist C improved in quality, and could produce three pieces of art of the same quality as A and B, but decided to sell each piece for $30, then that would seem to hurt both A and B, since the market would surely choose C instead of either of them. However, this is not necessarily so. Consider the perspective of C; they can see the market will pay $40 for their pieces, due to the success of A and B. If the market would willingly pay for this, then why would they suddenly decide to lower their prices? They could just as easily charge $40 per piece, and if A and B are successful, the market will pay that price. It would therefore not be in C’s interests to undercut A or B. If the market suddenly decided not to pay $40 for work of the quality of A, B, or C, then it would make sense for C to lower their prices, but it would also make sense for A and B to lower their prices as well, whether C existed or not. The “minimum” charge for a piece is not needed to protect A and B from being undercut, as it is not in anybody’s interest to undercut them for the same quality work as them.

An additional factor to consider with art commissions is that they are not mass produced. If an artist has a truly unique, or very unusual, style, then they can control almost all of the supply for the demand. Because what anyone is willing to pay for any style of art is so determinate upon the buyer, it is very difficult to place an “ought” on what the buyer should pay. It may be believed that there is an objective price for any given piece, but somebody may take a liking to a particular style, and be willing to pay more for it. If there is a particular group of people who share the same liking of that style, then the artist who produces it will have found themselves a market. When somebody commissions them, it should be trusted that both parties – the commissioner and artist – have accepted the price being placed on the artist time. The commissioner knows how much they are willing to pay, knowing they can walk away, yet freely choose to pay. Meanwhile, the artist has decided for themselves what their time is worth.

Why can’t furries treat business like sex? Why is it that, during intercourse, we seem content to let others do whatever they wish with one another, so long as all parties give consent, and not with art? When it comes to financial agreements over art, I believe the same should apply. Instead of telling artist what their work is worth, why not simply allow them to decide exactly how much their time is worth? If an artist prices are too high, you do not need to tell them, simply do not buy from them, and if the market agrees, the lack of sales will be the most obvious sign of “you’re charging too much” that can be given. On the other hand, that same artist may keep their prices consistent, or even raise them due to high demand. There is no reason to tell them their prices are too high; people are buying from them, and those people are willingly giving money over to that artist. When you say that an artist “charges too much”, you’re not just insulting their judgment, but the judgment of that artist customers – both of whom seem perfectly happy with the transaction. There is nothing wrong with going elsewhere because you do not want to pay the asking price for something, in fact, that’s good, as it’s showing awareness of your role as an active consumer. But, if an artist is finding customers for what they value their work at, then there is no reason for them to drop their prices for anyone.

It is an artist’s right to charge whatever they want for their work. If they charge too much, the market will reject it. Yet, if they decide to charge a low price, then it is their choice to do so. They know how much they believe their time is worth, and whether you think they should be charging more or less, a free-market will send a better message than any individual ever could.

Ultimately, a free-market is the best way for the furry market to function. As it stands, the community is almost completely laissez-faire with it’s approach to commissions – with many artists able to live off their work, as new artists develop their skill whilst earning something from it – while providing a rich choice to those wishing to spend money on commissions. Not only that, but I believe that it is important to respect the artist’s judgment, and the ability for others to know what they value.

Aaron Galvin is young man who has already spent years as an actor (The Dark Knight), script writer, and stand-up comedian. Now he has added “book writer” to his resume’ thanks to several series of dark fantasy novels for young adults.  The series of particular note for furry fans is the Salted series, concerning a society of selkies (Celted were-seals, if you need a refresher). In the first book, Salted, a group of selkies travel to the surface, charged with retrieving an escaped human slave. Unfortunately, they soon discover that their mission is much more complicated than their leaders let on. In book two, Taken With A Grain Of Salt, a pair of teenage human slaves plot their own escape… but soon they learn that there are darker forces in the deep than selkie slavers. Both books were published by Create Space, and they’re available as signed paperback editions at Aaron’s web site.

image c. 2016 Aaron Galvin

Due to our blue fox getting trapped in a cage at the last minute Saturday night, we had to rescheduled this episode for Sunday night. So, returning to the studio Sunday after the quick improv Q&A show we ended up with Saturday (episode 239x,) we somehow managed to pump out a pretty packed show. A good episode to finish off with before a two week hiatus. Enjoy!

Download MP3

Watch Video Link Roundup:

• Alltime10s YouTube channel does Top 10 Weirdest Sex Toys, mentions Bad Dragon
• The First Computer Porn
• Ylvis, artist behind “What Does The Fox Say?”confirms at Webbys that foxes actually say “yiff”

News:

• Vitamins Are Useless, But There’s One You Could Probably Use
• [Dogpatch Press] Furry Corporate Structures
• Notorious ‘Nipple Man’ Nabbed After 3 Years As A Public Transit Pervert
• Stand-up Comedians Are More Likely To Die Prematurely, With The Funniest Most Likely To Go First
• Man Allegedly Scans Penis At Supermarket Checkout
• This Pastor Has Convinced Us: Pokemon Are Actually Cyber-Demons
• ‘Pokemon Go’ Leads Players To Find Naked Woman Vandalizing Church

Emails:

• Gladwin – “{short question} About younger furs”
• Gannon – “Some random shit”
• Jaxson Amber – “Fayroe’s Blueness”
• Otter – “Looking to move into the area”
• Michael the Fox – “Bit harsh on the minecraft porn”

FC-240 XXX-Files - Due to our blue fox getting trapped in a cage Saturday night, we rescheduled this episode for Sunday night. Returning a day later after some quick improv Q&A which became episode 239x, we somehow managed to pump out a pretty packed show.

Due to our blue fox getting trapped in a cage at the last minute Saturday night, we had to rescheduled this episode for Sunday night. So, returning to the studio Sunday after the quick improv Q&A show we ended up with Saturday (episode 239x,) we somehow managed to pump out a pretty packed show. A good episode to finish off with before a two week hiatus. Enjoy!

Download MP3

Watch Video Link Roundup:

• Alltime10s YouTube channel does Top 10 Weirdest Sex Toys, mentions Bad Dragon
• The First Computer Porn
• Ylvis, artist behind “What Does The Fox Say?”confirms at Webbys that foxes actually say “yiff”

News:

• Vitamins Are Useless, But There’s One You Could Probably Use
• [Dogpatch Press] Furry Corporate Structures
• Notorious ‘Nipple Man’ Nabbed After 3 Years As A Public Transit Pervert
• Stand-up Comedians Are More Likely To Die Prematurely, With The Funniest Most Likely To Go First
• Man Allegedly Scans Penis At Supermarket Checkout
• This Pastor Has Convinced Us: Pokemon Are Actually Cyber-Demons
• ‘Pokemon Go’ Leads Players To Find Naked Woman Vandalizing Church

Emails:

• Gladwin – “{short question} About younger furs”
• Gannon – “Some random shit”
• Jaxson Amber – “Fayroe’s Blueness”
• Otter – “Looking to move into the area”
• Michael the Fox – “Bit harsh on the minecraft porn”

FC-240 XXX-Files - Due to our blue fox getting trapped in a cage Saturday night, we rescheduled this episode for Sunday night. Returning a day later after some quick improv Q&A which became episode 239x, we somehow managed to pump out a pretty packed show.

Due to our blue fox getting trapped in a cage at the last minute Saturday night, we had to rescheduled this episode for Sunday night. So, returning to the studio Sunday after the quick improv Q&A show we ended up with Saturday (episode 239x,) we somehow managed to pump out a pretty packed show. A good episode to finish off with before a two week hiatus. Enjoy!

Download MP3

Link Roundup:

• Alltime10s YouTube channel does Top 10 Weirdest Sex Toys, mentions Bad Dragon
• The First Computer Porn
• Ylvis, artist behind “What Does The Fox Say?”confirms at Webbys that foxes actually say “yiff”

News:

• Vitamins Are Useless, But There’s One You Could Probably Use
• [Dogpatch Press] Furry Corporate Structures
• Notorious ‘Nipple Man’ Nabbed After 3 Years As A Public Transit Pervert
• Stand-up Comedians Are More Likely To Die Prematurely, With The Funniest Most Likely To Go First
• Man Allegedly Scans Penis At Supermarket Checkout
• This Pastor Has Convinced Us: Pokemon Are Actually Cyber-Demons
• ‘Pokemon Go’ Leads Players To Find Naked Woman Vandalizing Church

Emails:

• Gladwin – “{short question} About younger furs”
• Gannon – “Some random shit”
• Jaxson Amber – “Fayroe’s Blueness”
• Otter – “Looking to move into the area”
• Michael the Fox – “Bit harsh on the minecraft porn”

[Live] XXX-Files

Roo, Tugs, and Koru get together to re-live the best moments of Season 5, as sent in by you and hand picked by them! Join us as we revisit each episode, plus play audio you haven't heard before! We bring you more ComicCon FanX audio, alternate ad cuts, and more! Tugs shares his thoughts on the new Ghostbusters. We also have Space News and Get Psyched!



Show Notes

Special Thanks

Alix Dialca
All our guests this season! You ROCK!
All of you for listening this season! YOU ALSO ROCK!

Music

Opening Theme: Husky In Denial – Cloud Fields (Century Mix). USA: Unpublished, 2015. ©2015 Fur What It’s Worth and Husky in Denial. Based on Fredrik Miller– Cloud Fields (Radio Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. ©2011 Fur What It’s Worth. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Game Round 1: Mystery Skulls – Ghost. USA: Warner Bros Records, 2011. Used with permission.
Some music was provided by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com. We used the following pieces: Phantom from Space, Leopard PRint Elevator, Secret of Tiki Island . Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.
Space News Music: Fredrik Miller – Orbit. USA: Bandcamp, 2013. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Closing Theme: Husky In Denial – Cloud Fields (Headnodic Mix). USA: Unpublished, 2015. ©2015 Fur What It’s Worth and Husky in Denial. Based on Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Chill Out Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. ©2011 Fur What It’s Worth. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!) S5 Episode 18 – The Final Episode - Roo, Tugs, and Koru get together to re-live the best moments of Season 5, as sent in by you and hand picked by them! Join us as we revisit each episode, plus play audio you haven't heard before! We bring you more ComicC

Reminder: We're on Patreon! If you could kick us a buck or two, we'd greatly appreciate it. https://www.patreon.com/thedraggetshow It's our first Dragget Show with a Patreon Guest Host! Bandrik joins us for our regular batch of nonsense. Don't forget to hang out in our telegram chat, now w/ over 100 members! telegram.me/draggetshow pe. 125 - Patreon Guest, Bandrik! - Reminder: We're on Patreon! If you could kick us …

Dragget Show EXTRA! This is just Xander and Draggor yapping about recent events in terrorism, guns, cops, Black Lives Matter, and the upcoming election. If you hate politics, then avoid, but this was requested after our last Deep Shit! discussion. Deep Shit! - Guns 'n Such - Dragget Show EXTRA! This is just Xander and Drag…

We prepped for a normal episode, but the blue never arrived! With lots of improv, items from what would have been this episode’s link roundup and some chatroom Q&A, a red wolf and a pink husky barked for an hour or two. We rescheduled the originally planned episode for Sunday night which became episode 240.

Download MP3

LINK ROUNDUP:

• Alltime10s YouTube channel does Top 10 Weirdest Sex Toys, mentions Bad Dragon
• The First Computer Porn
• Ylvis, artist behind “What Does The Fox Say?”confirms at Webbys that foxes actually say “yiff”

[Live] Missing Blue

We prepped for a normal episode, but the blue never arrived! With lots of improv, items from what would have been this episode’s link roundup and some chatroom Q&A, a red wolf and a pink husky barked for an hour or two. We rescheduled the originally planned episode for Sunday night which became episode 240.

Download MP3

LINK ROUNDUP:

• Alltime10s YouTube channel does Top 10 Weirdest Sex Toys, mentions Bad Dragon
• The First Computer Porn
• Ylvis, artist behind “What Does The Fox Say?”confirms at Webbys that foxes actually say “yiff”

FC-239X Missing Blue - We prepped for a normal episode, but the blue never arrived! With lots of improv, items from what would have been this episode's link roundup and some chatroom Q&A, a red wolf and a pink husky barked for an hour or two.

From the creator of Home is Where One Starts... comes The First Tree, a third-person exploration game centered around two parallel stories: a fox trying to find her missing family, and a young couple dealing with a tragedy in theirs. Players take control of the fox on a poignant and beautiful journey that crescendos at the source of life, and perhaps results in the understanding of death. Along the way, players uncover artifacts and stories from the young couple’s life as they too become intertwined in the fox’s journey towards The First Tree.

The game is currently in development and is set to release in early 2017 on PC and Linux, to start.

The sequel to the Wii U hit Freedom Planet is in development over at Galaxy Trail. Announced in December, the game has a planned beta release of mid-2017. We'll keep you updated on progress and when that beta becomes available. Join the heroes of Avalice as they face their greatest challenge yet! An ancient terror has emerged from the depths of the ocean. Merga, a water dragon from Avalice's oldest and deadliest war, has been freed from her crystal prison as a consequence of the Kingdom Stone's destruction. War is imminent once again, but this time, the heroes are split between sides. As friendships are tested, will the girls stand united when Bakunawa rises?

Scholastic Press (through their Graphix imprint) have published Dream Jumper Volume 1: Nightmare Escape. It’s the first full-color graphic novel written by actor Greg Grunberg (Heroes) and illustrated by Lucas Turnbloom — with an introduction by Grunberg’s childhood friend J.J. Abrams, who helped to bring the project about. “Ben has a problem. When he sleeps he dreams, and when he dreams, they’re all nightmares! But he can also jump into other people’s dreams. So when his friends start falling victim to an evil dream-monster that prevents them from waking, Ben knows he has to help them. Easier said than done when dreams can shift and the monster knows his way around the ever-changing landscape of the mind! With help from a talking rabbit-companion who has a mysterious past, Ben might just be able to defeat the monster and save his friends . . . if he can figure out how to use the power within him against his enemies.” Looks like there’s also a very large crow involved. Dream Jumper is available now in hardcover and softcover editions, and the Scholastic web site also has an interview with the creators.

image c. 2016 Graphix

This week on KnotCast, Savrin talks the hell out of Pokemon GO. Then Overwatch a bit. Fuzz doesn't die of bordom! Then emails! Being an adult, relationship warning bells, and a digression to talk about WRASSLIN a bit. All in good fun! KnotVale intro by @NotTooDeer, thanks dude! Want to support the show? We have a Patreon! www.patreon.com/knotcast Episode 322 - High Level Poliwhirl

Dear Papabear,

Hello, and thank you for reading my letter. I have a bit of a potential roommate problem that could either turn out to be nothing or get worse over time. It’s not so much the roommate behaving badly, but rather a confusing emotional situation that I just don’t know what to do or feel about. So, one of my roommates and cousin, Anna, and I have been living together for four years now, two of which were at my parents’ house after she needed a place to stay when she dropped out of college. We got along great and were pretty close, even though we came from two very different backgrounds. Two years ago, we decided to move out and live together in another state to go to college. It was challenging; Anna got very depressed during that time because she couldn’t get a job for about a year, and there were some tense times. But hey, that’s part of growing up and it would be dumb to expect that we would get along happy all the time, so it didn’t bother me. In the end we were still tight and grew as people. 

Then, about two months ago, Anna got a message from one of her friends at her old college whose name is Ray. He got a job in the area and wanted to room with us. Another thing: Anna is seriously in love with this guy; Ray knows she had a crush on him, but I don’t think he knows she flat out loves him (being aromantic, I didn’t really get it). I didn’t mind him living with us; Anna’s feelings for Ray didn’t affect me at the time, and a third roommate would lessen the financial burden, so I agreed. 

Ray and Anna come from similar backgrounds; they’re basically both wilderness people who grew up in small towns, while I’m a city person and a big city nerd. Even though there’s some overlap of interests between the three of us, it was clear Ray and Anna had more in common than either of them had with me. Again, I expected this and wasn’t really surprised when she started favoring his company over mine. She even said as much, but not in a hurtful “you’re not good enough” way. I like being by myself anyway, so it was okay. For a while. 

Here’s the thing with Anna: she’s kind of a control freak and gets irritated easily. She insists on doing everything herself because she feels she has to take care of people (I had to argue with her just to get litterbox duty, something I never thought I’d be vying for). She’s a very kind and good person, but sometimes she expects me to “read her mind” and doesn’t always understand why I would do things differently from her, and it irritates her very quickly. I, on the other hand, am very laid back and can tolerate an unusually high amount of bullcrap, but I do have trouble remembering certain things and interpret instructions weirdly sometimes. So, misunderstandings sometimes occur. Before, the argument would happen but we would talk about it later and everything would be good. Then after Ray moved in, something changed. 

As nice and chill as Ray is, I’ve found he can’t tolerate other people’s way of life very well. He frequently complains about how people move too slow and are too lazy, and he’s kind of a know-it-all. Anna has started to agree with him more and more. She’d be in worship mode, and even said that he is definitely smarter than both of us, which rubbed me the wrong way. He is very smart when it comes to wilderness stuff and utilities, but not so much at city culture or my field of study, which is art. So saying he’s smarter than both of us is pretty stupid, since me and him have completely different sets of knowledge. I’m pretty sure Anna’s doing this because she wants to impress Ray, but it’s having a bad effect on me since I am a slower paced person, so I can’t help but think some of these complaints are subconsciously directed at me. 

On top of that, Anna has been snapping at me more and more. Her job has been frustrating her lately, but she never snaps at Ray, only me. I also get the feeling she thinks I’m stupid because I don’t get certain things right away, and I recently caught her complaining about me to Ray after I had a frustration attack, which really hurt me. I confronted her about this, but she assured me that she was just venting, everything was okay, and that she doesn’t think I’m stupid. I want to believe her, I really do, but there’s been this growing feeling that it isn’t true. It doesn’t help that I was a bit sheltered growing up, and many of my relatives also thought I wasn’t smart enough to make it on my own, so I’m particularly sensitive to this and Anna knows it. I doubt she’s being intentionally malicious, but her personality and Ray’s influence are clashing with mine. And while I have friends who are more like me, I don’t see them very often because of school, while Anna sees Ray every day, so I’m starting to feel isolated as well. I knew adding a third person would change the dynamic, but I didn’t think Anna would be more hostile toward me. 

Anyway, I’m not sure I have a question but rather I just need general thoughts and I guess rant to someone. I don’t want to confront Anna because it has led to her either a) say everything’s okay and I’m right back to being paranoid, or b) she gets even more irritated with me. Or am I completely overreacting and should just wait to see how things turn out? 

Thanks again for reading, 
Thunderbird (age 24)
 
* * *
 
Hi, Thunderbird,
 
So, let me see if I understand this. The point of contention seems to be about chores and tasks around your home, who does them, and how? Is that a big part of it? Also, I am assuming that the three of you split rent and utilities equally, which means that the three of you should be treated equally. Another part of this seems to be that Ray and Anna are Type A personalities, while you're more of a Type B (more bear personality, as I like to think of it, while I would call them more squirrelly hehe). Am I correct those are the main points?
 
Hugs,
Papabear
 
* * *
Thanks for replying back!

It's more about our split in personalities than chores, though how we do chores differently does ruffle some feathers on occasion, but that part isn't a huge deal. More of a side effect. And yes, we do split bills equally. The only difference between me and them is I don't have a job right now and family has been helping me out. I've been looking, but all the jobs I've gotten offers for are either full time (because of school I can only do part time) or across the state, which is a good six hours away. Usually it's both. Jobs I've submitted for weren't interested. My previous job was a very specific position (automotive assistant quality manager) which a lot of people around my area don't need. I do think I have a chance with art commissions in the near future, so that's something. 
​
Tangent aside, our main issue is our personalities. We are very much like bears and squirrels, though in Ray's case, he seems like a bear on the outside but definitely a squirrel on the inside. Anyway, Anna kind of naturally molds her personality to whomever she's around at the time, but her default personality does lean towards Ray's. I have tried to mold my personality more towards Ray's to be more accommodating, but that just made me miserable and confused. The more I think about it, the more I think Anna is becoming exhausted from constantly having to switch between Ray’s and my personalities. I've been trying to tell her that she doesn't have to do that, but like I said, it does happen naturally with her and she doesn't realize it. I just wish she wouldn't snap at me all the time, or at least snap at Ray every once in a while to make it even. 
 
Thunderbird
 
* * *
 
Dear Thunderbird,

I think I get it now, yes. It sounds almost as if Anna is suffering from what psychologists call “mirroring” or “the chameleon effect,” a type of borderline personality disorder in which the person’s demeanor and attitudes change according to the people they are around and trying to please. This is usually the result of low self-confidence, which, in Anna’s case, might be influenced by her earlier bout with depression. Her anal side (being overly controlling about chores) is also her attempt to find order in a world that she finds chaotic. People without confidence in themselves find comfort if they can at least create some kind of order in their world to cling to. This must all, indeed, be very exhausting for her, which causes her to lash out at you. Too, as you observed, she is gravitating toward Ray as someone who could be more of an anchor in her life because he has a similar background and a job.
 
This doesn’t excuse her behavior toward you, of course. She probably isn’t overly conscious of what’s going on inside her head and is not intentionally doing anything to hurt you with remarks such as saying you’re not as smart as Ray. Judging by the letter you wrote me, you are not a stupid person. Indeed, you are insightful and articulate (e.g., correctly observing that different people have different areas about which they are knowledgeable). Another part of the problem is that you are an artistic type, while Ray and Anna sound more as if they are pragmatic types. It can often be hard for the pragmatic to understand the artistic.
 
Some suggestions:

• You and Ray need to get to know each other better. Sounds as if your relationship is only through Anna. Get a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other by spending some time together sans Anna (also see below).
• Anna needs to become more centered by reaffirming her self-worth as something separate from other people—that is, she needs to find out who she is without defining herself by how she interacts with other people and what others think of her. She also needs to learn to trust you more. A good way to start that would be to divvy up chores evenly between the three of you and for her to allow you to do chores your way without being anal about it. BUT! In addition to this, pick a chore or project that you all do together. When people work on a project together the synergy forms stronger bonds. Also, take some time to give Anna an ego boost: compliment her on things she does well and let her know you are on her side.
• You don’t mention whether or not you do this, but it would be a fantastic idea for the three of you to, once in a while, share in a fun activity together. You say Ray and Anna are kinda outdoorsy, so perhaps the three of you could go camping or fishing? On the reverse side of the album, perhaps you could do something more “inner city” with them (laser tag? Field trip to an art show?) Make sure it is fun and something you can do without worrying about work or school or chores in the process. Everyone needs a break from the “real world” once in a while.
• You need to all get on the same page and realize you’re on the same team together and you all want the same thing: to be able to live comfortably together as a cooperative effort without strife and argument. Once a month, all of you should sit down together for an “apartment meeting” to discuss bills, chores, and share what is going on in your lives.
• Try having at least one meal together once a week where you all sit at the dining table, eat, drink, talk and do not look at your &$*#( phones.

 
Papabear surmises that, although the three of you inhabit the same house, you are not actually living together, if you see what I mean. Living together in close quarters can build up a lot of tension and disagreements and bitterness if you just see one another as “that person I live with” rather than as friends and companions. You probably won’t all live together forever, but for now you are together, so to be happy you should act like a cooperative unit of three people rather than as three separate individuals who just happen to occupy the same residence.

Hope that helps,
Papabear

The WagzTail team discusses what to do and what not to do if you are having trouble and need help.

Metadata and Credits Furry Self-Help

Runtime: 34:35m

Cast: Braniff, KZorroFuego, Levi, Wolfin

Editor: Levi

Format: 128kbps AAC Copyright: © 2016 WagzTail.com. Some Rights Reserved. This podcast is released by WagzTail.com as CC BY-ND 3.0.

Furry Self-Help - The WagzTail team discusses what to do and what not to do if you are having trouble and need help.