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The Great White Ape
Feral Planet is a new publishing company started by Michael Friedlander, the former CEO of FPG Inc. (Guardians). Their first project was successfully fired up on Kickstarter: Goliath, a fully-painted story book written by Mr. Friedlander and illustrated by Mike Ploog (famous for his many designs for Hollywood movies). “The story follows the adventures of a small family of prehistoric people named the Ty clan. The Ty clan live in very difficult times and face incredible dangers every day. To survive, they must embark upon an epic journey to find a new world and the peace they have always dreamed of. They find great strength and determination in their belief in magnificent stories passed down through the generations that speak of giant white guardians that protect and watch over them. As the story unfolds, we will find out if these are just age-old tales the clan elders tell while sitting around the fire or if these great guardians prove to be so much more…” It’s available to order in hardcover over at Previews, and it’s expected to hit the shelves before the end of December.
Special Release - Roo and Tugs share some important recent events in light of one of our own attempting to take their own life. - NOW LISTEN!
NOW LISTEN! Special Release - Roo and Tugs share some important recent events in light of one of our own attempting to take their own life. - NOW LISTEN!
He Can Talk. Will You Listen?
World-famous author James Patterson (Zoo) has returned with a new novel for young readers: Word of Mouse, written with the help of Chris Grabenstein and illustrated by Joe Sutphin. It’s the story of a very special mouse. “What makes Isaiah so unique? First, his fur is as blue as the sky–which until recently was something he’d never seen, but had read all about. That’s right–Isaiah can read, and write. He can also talk to humans…if any of them are willing to listen! After a dramatic escape from a mysterious laboratory, Isaiah is separated from his ‘mischief’ (which is the word for a mouse family), and has to use his special skills to survive in the dangerous outdoors, and hopefully find his missing family. But in a world of cruel cats, hungry owls, and terrified people, it’s hard for a young, lone mouse to make it alone. When he meets an equally unusual and lonely human girl named Hailey, the two soon learn that true friendship can transcend all barriers.” Word of Mouse will be available in hardcover this December.
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FC-252 Suspicious Package - We're the NSA's favorite.
We’re the NSA’s favorite.
Watch Video Link Roundup:- Ironfur Makes A Special Blue Tag Made for Fayroe
- HolidayHole
- Wuff Hotel Promo
- Chicago Airport Workers Vote To Strike
- Best F’d T-Shirt
- RFC 6919
- Gif pronunciation solved
- More people convinced of TimTams
- Privacy Row as U.K. Government Plans Porn User Database
- Rare Allergy: Some Cannot Tolerate Water
- Law introduced to ban conversion therapy in Erie County
- ClickHole: How To Make A False Face To Fool Wolves In Less Than 30 Minutes
- 39 Percent of Americans Would Give Up Sex to Never Worry About Hacking
- Kit Kat Fills Student’s Car With 6,500 Bars After Chocolate Theft
- Man without arms denied housing loan due to inability to provide fingerprints
- ‘Suicide bomber’ squirrel hospitalizes Chicago politician who spoke out against squirrels
- Woman shares Thanksgiving with teen she accidentally invited
- Timber Wulffy – “The Gov. And why I can’t be a furry”
- Someone – “Legitimacy of Online Relationships”
FC-252 Suspicious Package - We're the NSA's favorite.
We’re the NSA’s favorite.
Watch Video Link Roundup:- Ironfur Makes A Special Blue Tag Made for Fayroe
- HolidayHole
- Wuff Hotel Promo
- Chicago Airport Workers Vote To Strike
- Best F’d T-Shirt
- RFC 6919
- Gif pronunciation solved
- More people convinced of TimTams
- Privacy Row as U.K. Government Plans Porn User Database
- Rare Allergy: Some Cannot Tolerate Water
- Law introduced to ban conversion therapy in Erie County
- ClickHole: How To Make A False Face To Fool Wolves In Less Than 30 Minutes
- 39 Percent of Americans Would Give Up Sex to Never Worry About Hacking
- Kit Kat Fills Student’s Car With 6,500 Bars After Chocolate Theft
- Man without arms denied housing loan due to inability to provide fingerprints
- ‘Suicide bomber’ squirrel hospitalizes Chicago politician who spoke out against squirrels
- Woman shares Thanksgiving with teen she accidentally invited
- Timber Wulffy – “The Gov. And why I can’t be a furry”
- Someone – “Legitimacy of Online Relationships”
[Live] Suspicious Package
We’re the NSA’s favorite.
Link Roundup:- Ironfur Makes A Special Blue Tag Made for Fayroe
- HolidayHole
- Wuff Hotel Promo
- Chicago Airport Workers Vote To Strike
- Best F’d T-Shirt
- RFC 6919
- Gif pronunciation solved
- More people convinced of TimTams
- Privacy Row as U.K. Government Plans Porn User Database
- Rare Allergy: Some Cannot Tolerate Water
- Law introduced to ban conversion therapy in Erie County
- ClickHole: How To Make A False Face To Fool Wolves In Less Than 30 Minutes
- 39 Percent of Americans Would Give Up Sex to Never Worry About Hacking
- Kit Kat Fills Student’s Car With 6,500 Bars After Chocolate Theft
- Man without arms denied housing loan due to inability to provide fingerprints
- ‘Suicide bomber’ squirrel hospitalizes Chicago politician who spoke out against squirrels
- Woman shares Thanksgiving with teen she accidentally invited
- Timber Wulffy – “The Gov. And why I can’t be a furry”
- Someone – “Legitimacy of Online Relationships”
Furry YouTube, and Previously on “Culturally F’d”.
Hey there! Arrkay here from Culturally F’d with a special guest post. I want to open right away with a new T-Shirt design poll, closing on Sunday Nov. 29:
Culturally F’d giving some Sh**ts away
SHIRTS that is! Sign up to our newsletter to enter into a draw for the winning design. Here’s what Rusty has to say about it:
Vote here: https://goo.gl/forms/9NJxjVg11GUq7lqy2
Subscribe to Culturally F’ds newsletter at www.culturallyfd.com to enter the draw to win. If the shirts end up in a tie, then both will end up going to print.
Previously on Culturally F’d
Over on my channel, we discuss how we define our community and how a fur might describe it themselves in: Hobby, Lifestyle, Fandom: Defining Furry.
Bandit from The Raccoon’s Den came onto F’d to discuss how he got started, what it takes to become a YouTuber and conquering social anxiety.
Still bummed out about the US Election? Maybe these 19 unlikely cartoon candidates will cheer you up:
A regular YouTube feature – call for submissions
Do you have a YouTube channel? Right here on Dogpatch Press, we’re looking to fill in a new monthly guest post. It will feature all the current and best YouTube videos that furries are producing. The primary goal is to expose more YouTube creators from our fandom to more furries. The secondary goal is to create a video creator network to encourage more collaboration between Furries on the video platform. Please message me (Arrkay at culturally.fd@gmail.com) if you have a channel you want us to include or at least investigate. We are looking for YouTube channels that are up to date and posting new content regularly.
Here are some fine channels that you should subscribe to in the mean time:
Betsy Lee – An animator with an ongoing fantasy series “No Evil”. A very impressive production for a small crew, the story reminds me very much of a dungeons and dragons role-play campaign. You may need to watch the back-log of episodes to figure out what’s going on with the cast of characters right now.
Blü – Blu The Dragon is an australian dancer/performer/choreographer, and does profanity infused vlogs about life and furries.
Culturally F’d – Hey that’s my channel! Every other week we discuss anthro animals in culture and mass media. Everything from cave paintings to what the furry fandom might look like tomorrow. The F’d stands for Furry. We also have regular “F’d Up Dates” with Rusty Shacklefur, a rabbit from the moon. I should also mention we have a Patreon and as of Dec 1 2016, a merch store!
EZ Wolf – Professional quality photography and videography. They are responsible for many music videos, dance videos and dramas starring fursuiters that have gone viral.
Furries in the Media – Aberguine carefully dissects instances where furries are represented in news reports or fiction, and grades them on Accuracy and Spirit.
Majira Strawberry – This fursuited vlogger is probably the most popular furry YouTuber with over 44,000 subscribers. Majira specializes in comedy skits, Q&A’s, and collaborating with other fursuiters in his area and at cons.
The Raccoon’s Den – The Docu-Dramadey of the fandom, Bandit and friends explore furry parties of California and dramatizes furry-life outside of the parties. They also have vlog style “Drakes Corner” videos and they produce a podcast “Pawesome”. Check out Patch’s article on them!
Furry.Today – Not a YouTuber, but a great resource for finding new fluffy videos from all sources.
Still There Are Cities To Stomp
Another giant monster comic — this time, a black & white classic returns. According to Previews: “The giant kaiju return to ravage the Earth in the first volume of cult genre legend Mike Wolfer’s War Monsters! Originally released in 1987-89, Wolfer’s Daikazu series was his first published work, and issues #1-5 of the giant monster rumble are collected here for the first time ever in one giant volume! On a remote Pacific island, a group of strangers accidentally stumble upon the secret, underground base of a mad geneticist responsible for the creation of two gigantic behemoths, and only the ancient ‘god’ Daikazu stands against them in an earth-shaking battle that climaxes in downtown Tokyo!” The first issue arrives with a Bang at the end of November.
Black Swan / Pt. 1 (Episode: 99)
After a hard drive failure causes a great setback for Bandit and his friends, various other losses bring the group together to overcome them. See more at: http://www.TheRaccoonsDen.com FACEBOOK:... From: The Raccoon's Den Views: 3956 39 ratings Time: 08:01 More in Entertainment
12-Year-Old Is a Victim of Gossip
My enemy heard that I am a furry and now he is going to tell my friends that I am a weirdo. My enemy hates and thinks furries are stupid because he says that they are sex addicts (but I know they're not). Please, can you help me out? I need it, please.
Kit the Wolf (age 12, U.K.)
* * *
Hi, Kit,
Okay, the issue here is gossip. Whether it is gossip about being a furry or anything else for that matter, you can deal with it in the same way. Usually. What is unique here is that this gossip—that you are a furry—is actually true. It's the details that are incorrect. Kind of like if people at the workplace outed you for being homosexual. Here are some things you can do....
- First off, do not be ashamed for being a furry. If you act ashamed, you will attract more criticism and shaming.
- Head the "enemy" off at the pass by telling your friends you are a furry first and what that really means to you. Better they hear it from you than a cruel gossip.
- Prepare your arguments: if someone approaches you and says something like, "I hear you are a pervert furry and like to yiff dogs." You respond calmly by hitting them with logic, such as, "I know you got that information from John Doe Butthead. He's been spreading things about me that aren't true because he doesn't like me, so you should consider the source first. Second, you guys don't even get what a furry is. Let me give you an example: Did you go to see Zootopia in the theater? Did you like it? That's furry! It's just about fictional characters who look like animals but act like humans, that's all. Is there sex stuff on the Internet about it? Sure, but there is porn all over the Internet and I'm not into that. Anyway, I'm 12. I'm not having sex and I don't watch porn. Do you?"
- Only worry about arguing your case if you are confronted by it. If no one is talking to you about it, ignore it, and ignore that gossip jerk as much as possible. Just stay away from him or her.
- If it gets bad and you get harassed, don't be afraid to tell a school teacher or administrator. Tell them you are being bullied. Schools have gotten very tough on bullying lately and do not tolerate it (in Britain, confer https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/the-law).
I hope that helps. Good luck! Write again if you need more help.
Hugs,
Papabear
Her Noble Steed Has Other Plans
Boom! Studios have a new full-color comic mini-series called Mega Princess — with an interesting sideways anthro-angle. “During Princess Maxine’s 10th birthday, her fairy godmother grants her the gifts of EVERY fairy tale princess, which…sounds a lot cooler than it actually is, in Max’s opinion. She doesn’t want to sing on key or feel a pea under 20 mattresses-she wants to be a detective! At least the power to talk to animals is cool, but her pony Justine is downright saucy. They don’t get along. When her little brother, Prince Robert VI (better known as Baby Bobs), goes missing, Max and Justine are on the case, and her new Mega Princess powers just might come in handy after all!” It’s written by Kelly Thompson (Jem and the Holograms) and illustrated by Disney artist Brianne Drouhard. The first issue is on the shelves now.
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Happy Thanksgiving 2016
While not all of you visiting this site are American (and therefore do not celebrate Thanksgiving), I would like to take a moment to thank all of you who have visited, posed questions, and perhaps took the time to offer a compliment or two.
Take a little time today to think of things you can be grateful for: friends, family, food on the table, clothes on your back, a bed to sleep in.
And do not envy those who may seem more prosperous and successful than you. There will always be others who have more money, better careers, better physical features than you. Envy just brings you down.
Instead, work on accepting yourself for who you are, and exercise kindness towards those around you at all times.
Take time to appreciate the beauty of nature, the love of a good dog or cat, the flavor of the ice cream melting on your tongue, a kiss on the cheek.
None of us knows why we are really here. Perhaps there is no reason at all. So, do your best to enjoy what you have in the here and now.
Hugs,
Papabear Grubbs
Yeah, So He’s Imaginary
How did we ever miss these? Katherine Applegate is a writer of books for young readers, who has some interesting anthropomorphic credentials. The One and Only Ivan is a Newberry Award-winning novel from 2013 about a very special gorilla. “Inspired by the true story of a captive gorilla known as Ivan, this illustrated novel is told from the point of view of Ivan himself. Having spent twenty-seven years behind the glass walls of his enclosure in a shopping mall, Ivan has grown accustomed to humans watching him. He hardly ever thinks about his life in the jungle. Instead, Ivan occupies himself with television, his friends Stella and Bob, and painting. But when he meets Ruby, a baby elephant taken from the wild, he is forced to see their home, and his art, through new eyes.” Take a look over at Amazon. Then more recently, and even more anthropomorphic perhaps, there’s Crenshaw from 2015. “Jackson and his family have fallen on hard times. There’s no more money for rent. And not much for food, either. His parents, his little sister, and their dog may have to live in their minivan. Again… Crenshaw is a cat. He’s large, he’s outspoken, and he’s imaginary. He has come back into Jackson’s life to help him. But is an imaginary friend enough to save this family from losing everything?” Guess we’ll find out soon enough. It’s also available at Amazon.
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FA 046 Monogamy - Should you make decisions when you're angry? What about if you're too happy? How can you be happy and monogamous? Should you be worried if your partner asks for a threesome? Should you tell your dom that you love them? All this, and more
Hello everyone!
We open this week with a discussion on how to have the best headspace for making important decisions in your life. All too often we make choices in our life when we're in an emotional state (breaking up when you're having an argument, agreeing to plans when you're in a good mood, etc...) that end up backfiring on us. We discuss some research on how to make the best, rational decisions for yourself and your life. Remember-- never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach!
Our main topic is on monogamy. While Feral Attraction exists primarily as a podcast to detain non-traditional and non-monogamous relationships and lifestyles, monogamy is still the relationship style of choice for much of the public. While the furry fandom might be uniquely enriched with individuals exploring alternatives to monogamy, we did want to dedicate an episode to monogamy as it does carry its own unique challenges and difficulties to prosper.
We discuss the benefits of monogamy and why many people choose (or never deviate from the cultural norm) to be monogamous. We also discuss some of the challenges and pitfalls that people who are monogamous might experience, both in their relationships in general and in the fandom at large.
We also have two questions this week, one on whether or not it's a good idea to invite a third into the bedroom, and another on what to do if you find yourself falling for your Master/Dom/Domme in a D/s relationship. Buckle in-- it's a long ride this week with Metriko and Viro!
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well!
FA 046 Monogamy - Should you make decisions when you're angry? What about if you're too happy? How can you be happy and monogamous? Should you be worried if your partner asks for a threesome? Should you tell your dom that you love them? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!Non-Fandom Friends (Pawsome! #23)
Jackie shares her first impression on the fandom as well as her views on the community with Bandit and Abbey. ***NEW EPISODES BIWEEKLY ON WEDNESDAYS*** THANKS FOR SUBSCRIBING!!! FACEBOOK:... From: The Raccoon's Den Views: 1719 24 ratings Time: 13:59 More in Entertainment
Out of Boneville… and Onto the Movie Screen
Thanks to Animation News Network we found out about an article over at the Hollywood Reporter. It seems that Mark Osborne (director of Kung Fu Panda and the recent film The Little Prince) has been tapped to finally adapt Jeff Smith’s award-winning comic Bone for the cinema — not just as one animated movie, but an entire trilogy to be produced by Warner Brothers. “The comic told of three Bone cousins — Fone Bone, Phoney Bone and Smiley Bone, all small, bald and human-like creatures with big noses — who are separated and lost in a vast uncharted desert after being run out of Boneville. One by one they find their way into a deep forested valley filled with wonderful and terrifying creatures. The comics were published from 1991 to 2004 and then rediscovered by a new and more mainstream generation when Scholastic began releasing them in graphic novel form.” Adam Kline is writing the script for the first film, along with Mr. Osborne, and Animal Logic (Happy Feet) are involved as well, so expect some top-notch CGI. We’ll let you know when we find out a release date.
The Right to Arm Bears, by Gordon R. Dickson – Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer
The Right to Arm Bears, by Gordon R. Dickson
Riverdale, NY, Baen Books, November 2016, trade paperback $16.00 (384 pages).
Several years ago I had a review published on Flayrah of The Right to Arm Bears, by Gordon R. Dickson. It wasn’t a new book then, being published by Baen Books in December 2000. It’s gone through several printings so it’s remained available (with a slightly modified cover), but I don’t know how many furry fans have sought it out.
Guess what! Baen Books has reprinted it again this November, as a large trade paperback with a new cover by Kurt Miller. My old review will become pertinent again. Here it is.
The Right to Arm Bears, by Gordon R. Dickson
Riverdale, NY, Baen Books, December 2000, paperback $6.99 (431 pages).
This “novel” collects Dickson’s three light space-opera adventures about humans, the bearlike Dilbians, and the jovial-but-sinister Hemnoids: Spatial Delivery, first published as a novel by Ace Books, November 1961, 123 pages; Spacepaw, first published as a novel by G. P. Putnam’s Sons, February 1969, 222 pages; and “The Law-Twister Shorty”, a novelette in The Many Worlds of Science Fiction, edited by Ben Bova (E. P. Dutton, November 1971, pages 51-105).
Back-cover blurb: “Planet Dilbia is in a crucial location for both humans and their adversaries, the Hemnoids. Therefore making friends with the Dilbians and establishing a human presence there is of the utmost importance, which may be a problem, since the bearlike Dilbians stand some nine feet tall, and have a high regard for physical prowess. They’re not impressed by human technology, either. A real man, er, bear doesn’t need machines to do his work for him. But Dilbians are impressed by sharp thinking, and some have expressed a grudging admiration for the logical (and usually sneaky) mental maneuvers that the human “shorties” have used to get themselves out of desperate jams. Just maybe that old human craftiness will win over the Dilbians to the human side. If not, we lose a nexus, and the Dilbians will learn just how unbearable Hemnoids can be….”
These three adventures betray their Cold War time-period. The Humans (Americans) and the totalitarian Hemnoids (Soviets) are both expanding through the galaxy, trying to win over the unaligned planets like Dilbia to their spheres of influence. “‘We must influence Dilbians like that chap or the Hemnoids are going to get the inside track on this planet. And the Dilbian system, as I’m sure your hypno training didn’t omit to inform you, is absolutely necessary as a supply and reequipment stage for further expansion on any large scale beyond the Belt Stars. If the Hemnoids beat us out here, they’ve got the thin end of a wedge started that could eventually chop our heads off.’” (pgs. 6-7) The problem is that the Dilbians resemble nine-foot-tall lanky Kodiak bears, and while they prefer to stay neutral in the rivalry between those whom they call the Shorties and the Fatties, they naturally feel more akin to the eight-foot-tall Hemnoids:
“… John saw, a sort of enormous robed, Buddha-like parody of a human being. The Hemnoid was a good eight feet in height, enormously boned, and while not as tall as the Dilbians themselves, fantastically padded with heavy-gravity muscles.” (p. 5) Compared to the Dilbians and the Hemnoids, the humans look like puny weaklings. Also, humans smell bad to Dilbians. The Dilbians’ attitude to the humans is one of friendly but condescending superiority.
The Dilbians also have a fondness for mildly insulting humorous names for themselves and for anyone else who comes to Dilbia, such as Daddy Shaking Knees, Two Answers, and Split Nose. The Hemnoid ambassador is dubbed the Beer-Guts Bouncer, a name of approval to the beer-loving Dilbians. Humans on Dilbia usually don’t like the names they are given.
In Spatial Delivery (expanded from “The Man in the Mailbag”, Galaxy, April 1959), young John Tardy, who expects to become an interstellar expert in biochemistry, is diverted to Dilbia instead. A human woman, Greasy Face (she wears a lot of makeup) has been kidnapped as a pawn in an affair of honor by the Streamside Terror, the leading brawler of the Dilbian hillbilly community of Clan Hollows. “‘You knows why they call him the Streamside Terror, don’t you, Half Pint? It’s because he likes to do his fighting alongside a stream, and pull the other man in the water and get him drowned.’” (p. 24) Tardy was an Olympic decathlon champion while he was in college, and Earth’s Alien Relations Office figures that he has the best chance of rescuing Greasy Face (Miss Ty Lamorc, a sociologist studying the Dilbians) if it comes down to a physical fight with the nine-foot bear.
To get Tardy to the remote community where she is held, the Human Embassy decides to mail him: to have the local Dilbian postman carry him in his mailsack. “‘Hill Bluffer, that’s my name and trade! Anything on two feet walk away from me? Not over solid ground or living rock! When I look at a hill, it knows it’s beat; and it lays out flat for my trampling feet!’” (p. 13) A special saddle-like harness is rigged for Tardy to ride on Hill Bluffer’s back, which neither of them like but is better than riding in a mailbag.
During their trek across the countryside through one small Dilbian hamlet after another, Tardy (dubbed the Half-Pint Posted) and Hill Bluffer become Odd-Fellow friends. Tardy, assigned to win the Dilbians’ support for the Humans, comes to respect their independence, their stiff sense of honor, and their casual contempt for formality and bureaucracy. He also gradually learns that there is more to the Streamside Terror’s kidnapping of Greasy Face than the official story. He has near-fatal accidents; he discovers that the Streamside Terror’s girl friend, Boy Is She Built, is following and trying to sabotage them to protect her lover; that a Hemnoid agent, Tark-ay, is helping her for his own reasons; and more. By the time he and Hill Bluffer catch up to the Streamside Terror, Tardy has iron-clad reasons both to fight and to avoid fighting, as well as the seemingly impossible dilemma of how a six-foot human can defeat a nine-foot clawed Dilbian experienced battler. Tardy takes advantage of the fact that Dilbians respect intelligence and cunning even over physical strength, and the Hemnoids are thwarted.
Bill Waltham, the protagonist of Spacepaw, is introduced similarly to John Tardy. He has studied to become a terraforming engineer – “He thought again of the great symphony of engineering and development that was a terraforming project – changing the surface and weather of a whole world to make it humanly habitable” (p. 142) – and he is disappointed to be drafted instead into the Agricultural Assistance Program’s Project Spacepaw as a sort of interstellar Peace Corps instructor to Dilbian farmers. “This is a spade. You hold it by this end. You stick the other end in the earth. Yes, deep in the earth. Then you tilt it, like this.” Etc. Waltham can imagine himself wasting the next two years among the giant bearlike peasants of the village of Muddy Nose.
But his life on Dilbia turns out to be much more of a whirlwind than that. He arrives in Muddy Nose to find it full of wild-whooping outlaws who plan to hold him for ransom. He is saved by the Hill Bluffer, who names him Pick-and-Shovel and expects him to duplicate the Half-Pint Posted’s feat by rescuing another Human female captive, Dirty Teeth (Anita Lyme, the Humans’ Agricultural Resident’s trainee assistant), from Outlaw Valley. Hill Bluffer is not alone. Dirty Teeth has been kidnapped by the outlaws because she is a rabble-rousing Women’s Libber who has been stirring up the women-folk of the Dilbians’ patriarchical society, and those women, led by the militant Sweet Thing, expect Pick-and-Shovel to liberate her from outlaw chief Bone Breaker immediately. “‘And none of that sissy lowland stuff with swords and shields,’ put in the Hill Bluffer. ‘Just honest, man to man, teeth, claws, and muscle.” (p. 398) Bone Breaker’s outlaws are being secretly manipulated by a Hemnoid agent, Mula-ay (Barrel Belly) …
Spacepaw is basically Spatial Delivery all over again and longer. But the details are considerably different (plus the added exasperation of Pick-and-Shovel’s having to live up to the exaggerated reputation of the Half-Pint Posted), and they are colorfully humorous enough that you will not mind reading the story twice.
“The Law-Twister Shorty” is Malcolm O’Keefe, a bewildered high-school student inexplicably drafted to quietly “rescue” three human tourists that an imperious young Dilbian, Gentle Maiden, has decided to “adopt” and, essentially, keep as pets in her community of Clan Water Gap. Both the Humans and Hemnoids have a strict noninterference treaty with the Dilbians at this time, except for rigidly-supervised exceptions such as this tourist party; and if the Hemnoids can prove the presence of humans in Water Gap after the tourist group has left, even as unwilling prisoners, they can gleefully accuse the Humans galactically as treaty-breakers. O’Keefe’s (or Law-Twister’s; he’s a school debating champion) assignment is complicated by the fact that Gentle Maiden’s boyfriend and protector is Iron Bender, Water Gap’s strongest young male, who is honor-bound to defend her actions. Neither Law-Twister nor Iron Bender are keen to be forced into a “let’s you and him fight” situation, so with the canny suggestions of Hill Bluffer and Water Gap’s elders who want to avoid a public incident, they find a way to defuse the crisis.
The book’s jokey title and Richard Martin’s cover are very amusing, but they totally misrepresent the Dilbians as to the amount of clothes they wear, and to their preference for “verbal fencing” which favors outwitting an adversary rather than fighting. See the “imitation Ed Emshwiller” (not by Emsh?) anonymous cover of Ace Books’ Spatial Delivery for a more accurate depiction. In fact, while I usually show only the first-edition covers in my reviews, here is a gallery of the previous editions of Spatial Delivery and Spacepaw. Note how the artist of the “imitation Ed Emshwiller” cover, Stephen Hickman, and Tom Kidd have tried to illustrate the Dilbians accurately (although usually still depicting them as giant bears rather than “bearlike”); while Leon Gregori and Paul Lehr have not bothered — Lehr(?) even depicting the Dilbians as gorillas! Wayne Barlowe, in his 1979 Barlowe’s Guide to Extraterrestrials, has done the best job of drawing them as they are supposed to look.
Giant Monsters Are On Their Way!
But enough about the recent election… Kronen’s Kaiju is a new full-color comic series written and illustrated by Chris Scalf (Werewolves vs. Dinosaurs). “Giant freaking city crushing monsters are real! Darren Kronen lives in a small town. His friends all think he’s an awkward nerd living in a fantasy world obsessed with make-believe creatures and monsters. He even writes a blog called ‘Kronen’s Kaiju Chronicles’ where he speculates about the creatures of legend he obsesses over. But after a series of unexplained earthquakes brings teams of scientists and authorities into town to investigate, Darrin’s obsession grabs the unwanted attention of high level officials when details on his blog match the strange phenomenon that is secretly being investigated!” They’re coming to comic stores this December, thanks to American Mythology. Find out more over at Previews.