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The Wizard and His Cat

In-Fur-Nation - Wed 11 Jan 2017 - 02:59

Speaking of Keenspot: Thomas Fischbach, creator of the Ursa Major Award winning on-line comic Twokinds, brings us into the creation of his realm with the release of The Art and Evolution of Twokinds — newly available in hardcover. “Deluxe full color hardcover artbook exploring the art and evolution of Twokinds, the wildly popular webcomic following the adventures of a lone mage with no memory of his past and the beautiful tiger girl that captures his heart.” Nearly 100 pages in full color. Be warned though: Keenspot says they’re going fast!

image c. 2016 Keenspot Entertainment

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Categories: News

Bernard Matthews Ads

Furry.Today - Tue 10 Jan 2017 - 17:50

Rather cute adverts for Bernard Matthews Turkey [1] in that grand tradition of cute animals advertising for their meat. These aired on Channel 4 in Britain. Yes, they are both cute and yummy. [1] http://www.bernardmatthews.com/
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Categories: Videos

Dogs of War book, edited by Fred Patten, is launching at Further Confusion.

Dogpatch Press - Tue 10 Jan 2017 - 10:00

Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.

patten09_smDogs of War, edited by Fred Patten, is launching at Further Confusion 2017 in San Jose, California over the January 12-16 five-day weekend. The book can be pre-ordered from FurPlanet Productions. It will be for sale on the FurPlanet online catalogue afterwards.

Dogs of War is an all-original anthology of 23 short stories and novelettes of anthropomorphic animals (not just dogs) in military scenarios, from battle action to boot camps, on land, at sea, and in space. This is designed to appeal to both s-f & fantasy fans, and fans of military s-f.

From a rabbit army’s training camp, to a human army turned into wolves, praying mantises in spacesuits, rattlesnake troops, prejudice against uplifted rat sailors, multi-tailed fox warrior priestesses, and more; these are stories for your imagination and enjoyment.

Contents:

  • Nosy and Wolf, by Ken McGregor
  • After Their Kind, by Taylor Harbin
  • Succession, by Devin Hallsworth
  • Two If By Sea, by Field T. Mouse
  • The Queens’ Confederate Space Marines, by Elizabeth McCoy
  • The Loving Children, by Bill McCormick
  • Strike, But Hear Me, by Jefferson P. Swycaffer
  • End of Ages, by BanWynn Oakshadow
  • Shells On The Beach, by Tom Mullins
  • Cross of Valor Reception for the Raccoon, Tanner Williams, Declassified Transcript, by John Kulp
  • Last Man Standing, by Frances Pauli
  • Hunter’s Fall, by Angela Oliver
  • Old Regimes, by Gullwolf
  • The Shrine War, by Alan Loewen
  • The Monster in the Mist, by Madison Keller
  • Wolves in Winter, by Searska GrayRaven
  • The Third Variety, by Rob Baird
  • The Best and Worst of Worlds, by Mary E. Lowd
  • Tooth, Claw and Fang, by Stephen Coughlan
  • Sacrifice, by J. N. Wolfe
  • War of Attrition, by Lisa Timpf
  • Fathers to Sons, by MikasiWolf
  • Hoodies and Horses, by Michael D. Winkle

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Price: $19.95. 455 pages. Wraparound cover by Teagan Gavet.  ISBN 978-1-61450-346-0.

Fred Patten

Categories: News

Wolf vs. Monsters. Bet on the Wolf.

In-Fur-Nation - Tue 10 Jan 2017 - 02:59

The on-line comic Hunters of Salamanstra spent years on Keenspot building up a following. Now Keenspot has seen fit to finally bring out a black & white comic book version. “In the Kingdom of Salamanstra, monsters are real, and hunting them is the world’s greatest thrill. One famous hunter, The White Wolf, is not afraid to risk her life for a cause she believes in. Adrien wants to help her fight, but he has a promise to keep. A promise that could ensure the survival of The White Wolf’s fight, should she fail.” Look for issue #0 of this manga-style comic by John Joseco to arrive soon, followed by regular issues starting up in June.

image c. 2016 Keenspot Entertainment

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Categories: News

TigerTails Radio Season 10 Episode 06

TigerTails Radio - Mon 9 Jan 2017 - 18:15
Categories: Podcasts

I See You

Furry.Today - Mon 9 Jan 2017 - 17:32

Ok, I just got soda up my nose. This was made by a Racoon named Ringer who seems to be a very silly person.
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Categories: Videos

The Beauty of Small Cons

[adjective][species] - Mon 9 Jan 2017 - 14:00

Guest post by Thurston Howl. Thurston is the editor-in-chief of Thurston Howl Publications. The author of several novels, short stories, and poems, he prides himself in the Ursa Major Award winning essay collection he edited, Furries Among Us. He received his BA in English at Vanderbilt University and his MA in English at Middle Tennessee State University. Aside from running a publishing house, he teaches English at a local college, plays piano, dances, and is actively training to be a coffee connoisseur.

Ed. note: I got so overwhelmed with other stuff that I forgot to post this! My apologies to Thurston and to his readers!

All year long, furries see it all over the social media: “3 days till AC!” “Can’t believe I’m on my way to MFF!” Or, my personal favorite, “Suffering post-con depression after that big con.” Yet, we never hear enough about the less famous small cons. Wikifur has published a list of conventions by attendee participation. It shows 55 furry cons, ranging from 58 participants to over 7,000. The arithmetic mean (average) of the participants for a con was 1,027. Yet, cons that average around that number are generally called “small cons.” I have been to more small cons than large ones. So, here I shall provide five reasons for why small cons are better—or at least, as good as—large cons.

  • More intimate social connections: The last small con I went to was FangCon in Alabama this past October. I participated heavily in the Writing Track as both a panelist and a panel-goer, and it was delightful to run into the same people over and over again. Rather than seeing a person once in the con and never seeing them again through the crowd, I ran into them over and over again throughout the con. Three writers went to each of the Writing Track panels, and that wasn’t unreasonable; I felt like we had a pack of writers going throughout the con. When I socialized outside the panels, I’d get to run into the same people multiple times over the three days I was there. I got to know people more intimately than just a chance introduction. I would worry that being at a large con, people could easily be overwhelmed and not really be able to add as many contacts, especially if they were particularly shy. Small cons give you five or six rooms people will be at, and you can move between them with ease, cycling through them multiple times, getting to know people gradually and allowing you to have multiple conversations with the same person more easily.
  • Less overwhelming personal schedules: At FangCon this year, at one time, there might be two things happening: maybe a panel in one room and a game in another. I think at one point, there were three panels happening at once, but that was after the Dealer’s Den closed too. When I planned out what I was going to do for the con, generally, it was a fairly quick and painless procedure. A or B? C or D? And it went on just like that. When I look at schedules for larger cons, my eyes are glazed over from staring at the tons of panels offered throughout the day and well into the night. A couple of years ago, I went to Mephit Fur Meet near Memphis, TN. I remember at that time, there being two panels I really wanted to participate in, but they happened at the same time. That frustration must be tripled for people who frequent the larger cons. Small cons completely eliminate that frustration.
  • Sleep: Spirits above, I get to sleep at small cons. All activity is pretty much dead by 11pm. There’s usually a dance after that, but in my experience, there’s usually ten people or less that go to that at small cons. And things don’t pick up until 10am the next day. I just get to chat with my roomies all night or just socialize. Still, this opportunity to not be sleep-deprived for the duration of the con enables really thought-provoking discussions at panels consistently, and it allows you to take advantage of the multi-hundred-dollar hotel room you’ve saved up for.
  • Local color: People don’t travel from New York to go to an Alabaman small con. It is just an incredibly rare occurrence. The people who frequent small cons are almost always locals. This means you can get a better glimpse of local culture when visiting small cons. You don’t know what that’s like until you see fursuiters with camoflage clothing, speaking in Southern accents, and having a barbecue at the con. In this way, small cons become so unique, from each other and definitely from the large cons.
  • Indie culture: Furries are already not considered mainstream. However, there are still “popufurs.” Going to a small con, you are guaranteed to meet artists you’ve never heard of; authors you’ve never read; and musicians you didn’t know existed. The Dealer’s Den is full of craftists and hobbyists, with board games, soaps, bracelets, and more, not just furry gear. You will find the most hipster of furries at small cons, and that creates such a warm, family environment, rather than “name-brand” furry.

Now, here is a list of a few small cons, where they are, and what they’re about.

  • Mephit Fur Meet: This is a con in Olive Branch, Mississippi, really close to Memphis, TN. This is a great Southern con to go to. They have great music and writing tracks, and their Furry Drama Show is always amazing with Calamity Cougar and Keefur involved. Always a great time to see the wonderful Phil Geusz, too. With the mascot of a skunk, the con has always been the largest contributor to the Knoxville charity, Tiger Haven.
  • Furry Siesta is an unusual small con in Addison, Texas. It is a two-day event that is really just a huge furry gathering. They don’t have panels or guest appearances or workshops. It’s like a humongous furmeet in the summer. It is the perfect environment for people who just want a big hangout without all the commercialism (not that it is necessarily a bad thing; just a better idea for more frugal furs, or furs who are only into the social aspects of the fandom).
  • FA: United is a small con on the east coast. Originally, it started as a con that was ran by FurAffinity, but now it is technically run by the person who owns FurAffinity. The con frequently is represented by FA admin Fender, and art is often a major focus for the con. It participates in usually vivid themes, with the 2016 one being “Masquerade of Beasts.” Their website proudly boasts that congoers consumed over 200 pieces of sushi at this year’s con.
  • Furlandia is a small con in Oregon, and its themes proudly boast of different periods from the Iron Age to 1929 (their 2017 con theme). Since the con’s being adopted by Rainfurrest, their con has grown to almost 800 members, and their guests of honor are “popufur” artists typically. Still, it is a wonderful con to visit if you are just looking for a well-designed con and interesting furs.

Note that while I defend small cons, I am not attacking large cons. Large cons are wonderful events, and I would never recommend someone not go to them. However, I definitely also support the underdogs of conventions for their intimate culture and decreased stress. I can’t ever recall even feeling post-con depression after a small con. I heavily recommend furries frequent their local small cons if you don’t already.

So furries, ever onward.

Guild news, January 2017

Furry Writers' Guild - Mon 9 Jan 2017 - 10:44
New members

Welcome to our newest members, Jaden Drackus and Sibir! If you’d like more information about joining, read our membership guidelines.

Member news

If you’d like to be listed here, please post your sales/publications to the Member News section of the FWG Forum! It’s the primary source for these news bits.

Jako Malan, Televassi, Frances Pauli, Alice Dryden, and Mary E. Lowd sold stories to Fred Patten’s anthology Symbol of a Nation.

Bill “Greyflank” Kieffer has sold a short story collection set in his “Aesop’s World” milieu to Jaffa Books.

Fred Patten’s book Furry Fandom Conventions, 1989–2015, will be available from McFarland Books later this month. It’s already available from Amazon for preorder.

Speaking of Fred, his latest FurPlanet anthology, Dogs of War, is premiering at Further Confusion this January with a boggling 23 stories, many of which are by FWG members (including a couple who are getting their membership via this publication).

And, speaking of FurPlanet and FC, Kyell Gold’s new Forester Universe novel, Love Match, and Watts Martin’s science fiction novel Kismet both debut there.

New markets
  • Arcana is a new anthology of furry fiction themed around the Tarot, edited by Madison “Makyo” Scott-Clary and published by Thurston Howl. The anthology will accept twenty-two submissions, one for each of the major arcana cards. Length: 2,000–5,000 words. Payment: 0.5¢/word. Deadline: March 31, 2017. Submission guidelines.
  • Furlandia, the furry con in Portland, is looking for stories of 1,000–3,000 word length, themed around “1929: Age of Prosperity.” No deadline or pay rate given, although most con books pay in copies only. Submission guidelines.

For ongoing markets previously covered but still open (and occasionally, open in the future), visit the FWG web site:

Remember to keep an eye on the Calls for Submissions thread on the forum, as well as other posts on the Publishing and Marketing forum.

Odds and ends

If you’ll be at Further Confusion in San Jose, come see the FWG at the Meet and Greet on Sunday, or attend any of the dozen other writing-related panels—most of the panelists are FWG members!

The Tuesday Coffeehouse Chats continue to take place on the FWG Slack channel, while the Thursday chats continue to take place on the shoutbox.

As usual, we’d like to keep recruiting you to the FWG Goodreads group: add things to our members’ bookshelf (see the instructions here on how to do that), start conversations, draw rabbit ears on other authors’ head shots, and so on.

Have a terrific month and start to the new year! Send news, suggestions, feedback, and coffee to furwritersguild@gmail.com, or leave a comment below.


Categories: News

The Furry House – a base for creativity and community.

Dogpatch Press - Mon 9 Jan 2017 - 10:26
Model furry house, the Prancing Skiltaire

The Prancing Skiltaire

Ever been to a furry house

They don’t smell like barns or zoos, with shedding all over the place. But they are full of nerdy games and comics, fursuit parts, and framed animation and fursona commission art on the walls. Sometimes there’s art that might cause awkwardness during a pizza delivery or surprise visit from mom. But it’s not for them. It’s by and for fellow furries when they get together for meets, parties, art jams, and movie screenings as a community.

A furry house is a special place. It’s more immersive than activity by yourself. If you live there, you’ll never get PCD. It’s a dimensional crossroads where the limits of reality dissolve and you can be furry 24/7.

Inside the P.S.

Inside the Prancing Skiltaire.

Bases for creativity.

Culture gains energy from physical bases. It’s hard to say what comes first – a gathering place, or an industry that produces what people want. I guess it can depend on categories of subculture.

Fandoms are one type that seem to form out of the air.  They’re made by media before they materialize in space.

Look at the beginning of modern fandom. I’ve heard academic “aca-fans” say that it started with Sherlock Holmes. Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional detective got popular in 1887 with the growing business of cheap printed mass media (which then gave birth to the modern art form of comics.) That history is for another time, but it’s useful for looking at how industry can lead culture.

(I remember seeing Miyazaki’s Sherlock Hound on my first visit to a furry house in the mid-1990’s.)

On the opposite level from such big happenings, there’s cottage industry. That’s part of the subculture of furries, who aren’t exactly tied to large permanent spaces or industry. This fandom isn’t like ones led from the top. It’s more grassroots – look at the rise of fursuiting from home-based creation.

Houses that gather for an interest or ideal are hotbeds of creativity. It’s baked into their foundations. You can find it in back in 1960’s counterculture communities, punk houses and squats, and industrial live-work art spaces. (Those are in the news now because of a national purge on them, after the Ghost Ship fire in Oakland CA. It got attention here from one subculture to another).

Furry houses are part of why furries are special and different from other fandoms. They make me curious, because they’re very under the radar. They don’t advertise and if you’re not a fur you probably have no idea that they exist.

Photo tour of Wild Life fursuit studio, by Tommy Bruce.

Photo tour of Wild Life studio, by Tommy Bruce.

Fursuit making with Tanidareal

TheKarelia Fursuits studio

TheKarelia Fursuits studio

The beginning of furry spaces.

Do you know of any other fandoms that have their own houses?

I barely do, but there were some for old-school science fiction fandom. They had ‘Slan Shacks’ (named after classic novel Slan, by A. E. van Vogt, about a race of superbeings.) And they had clubhouses. In the late 1970’s those helped furry fandom to form. One of the roots was anime fan meets at the Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society. (Fred Patten can tell you a lot about that.)

"Fred becomes editor of Rowrbrazzle at the LASFS Clubhouse in January 1989. Present are former editor Marc Schirmeister, and Bob Hill as a Bambioid."

“Fred becomes editor of Rowrbrazzle at the LASFS Clubhouse in January 1989. Present are former editor Marc Schirmeister, and Bob Hill as a Bambioid.”

Furry grew with the 1980’s indie publishing boom. Cons began to support furs to gather for short events. Then things exploded with the internet.  It enabled a niche to gather with freedom beyond small local areas and limited access to media. When they began share homes, many were in for keeps.

Those ones used to be looked down on as ‘lifestylers’. That seems like a fairly useless judgement now, after it’s grown to an international network of cons and members. Some can do fan stuff for a career. Others even partner up and make multiple generations together.

Furry houses now.

For some local groups, they’re like community centers. They’re all over the place, but the San Francisco Bay area (and the West Coast US) has more than I know of elsewhere. They can go from very informal roommate sharing, all the way to animal rescue sanctuaries, party venues, or even places with BDSM dungeons.

One is a platform for fursuiting that hosts monthly nights for DTD building. (You need at least 3 people to make a Duct Tape Dummy, and it helps if they are furs who know what that’s for.)

I can imagine one day having furs pitch in to support a 24/7 furry clubhouse – a place for a library, game nights, art jams, and projects like building parade floats. (I wonder where Australia’s Sydney furs built their LGBT Mardi Gras parade float? I’m told it took most of a year to plan and execute.)

World's biggest furry joke from the OzFurs at Sydney’s LGBT Mardi Gras.

World’s biggest furry joke from the OzFurs at Sydney’s LGBT Mardi Gras

How about a place to customize and keep a furry event truck (with art on the outside and a mobile fursuit lounge inside), with sound system included for the many street fairs and Burning Man events that Bay Area Furries love.

mutt

There is interest, and as fandom grows maybe there will be a critical mass to make it real.

So when does this post show you the inside stuff?  Sorry, I don’t have the wherewithall to go visit and document a furry house at this time.  (But check Tommy Bruce’s tour linked above.)  I have a feeling that it would be better to hear from people who live in them.

Got any stories for the comments?

Categories: News

Saturday Morning on the Printed Page

In-Fur-Nation - Mon 9 Jan 2017 - 00:42

Looks like we might have to wait a while for this one, but it might well be worth it. The Pink Panther Cartoon Hour Special is a one-shot full-color comic headed our way this June. Here’s what the publisher has to say: “Did you grow up watching The Pink Panther on Saturday morning cartoons?  We did!  This awesome new special brings back Pink and all his pals in brand new comics!  Welcome back the Texas Toads, Misterjaw & Catfish, The Ant and the Aardvark, and many more!  Now grab a bowl of cereal and rush to the comic shop to enjoy that nostalgic mix of hilarious hijinks again!” It’s brought to you by S.A. Check, Adrian Ropp, Bill Galvan, and the folks at American Mythology.

image c. 2017 American Mythology

Categories: News

S6 Episode 9 – Abusive Relationships & Enablers in the Fandom - It's a sad truth and something we've all seen - abuse exists in the Furry Fandom. So do the enablers who don't want to see their friend as an abuser. Nuka joins Roo and Tugs this episode to d

Fur What It's Worth - Sun 8 Jan 2017 - 13:52
It's a sad truth and something we've all seen - abuse exists in the Furry Fandom. So do the enablers who don't want to see their friend as an abuser. Nuka joins Roo and Tugs this episode to discuss what drives us to stay in these kinds of relationships and we we are so reluctant to admit we know a bad apple. We also answer your emails on the topic, have Space News, Fifty Sheds of Grey, and more.





NOW LISTEN!

Show Notes

Special Thanks

Vulture 01
Dronon
Dave Lenfair
Jason Vinsick
Mika the Glowing Bunnifox
Addi Fennet
Cody

Music

Opening Theme: Husky In Denial – Cloud Fields (Century Mix). USA: Unpublished, 2015. ©2015 Fur What It’s Worth and Husky in Denial. Based on Fredrik Miller– Cloud Fields (Radio Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. ©2011 Fur What It’s Worth. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Some music was provided by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. We used the following pieces:

Spy Glass


Space News Music: Fredrik Miller – Orbit. USA: Bandcamp, 2013. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Closing Theme: Husky In Denial – Cloud Fields (Headnodic Mix). USA: Unpublished, 2015. ©2015 Fur What It’s Worth and Husky in Denial. Based on Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Chill Out Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. ©2011 Fur What It’s Worth. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)

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The following people have decided this month’s Fur What It’s Worth is worth actual cash! THANK YOU!

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Want to be on this list? Donate on our Patreon page! THANK YOU to our supporters once again!

Next episode: What grinds your tail about the Furry Fandom? What just makes you hate something about it? Our next show, "What do you hate about the Furry Fandom" will be accepting responses via email until January 19, 2017. S6 Episode 9 – Abusive Relationships & Enablers in the Fandom - It's a sad truth and something we've all seen - abuse exists in the Furry Fandom. So do the enablers who don't want to see their friend as an abuser. Nuka joins Roo and Tugs this episode to d
Categories: Podcasts

Hound Dogs and Otters and Bears, Oh My!

In-Fur-Nation - Sun 8 Jan 2017 - 02:59

Hollie Hibbert was born to be an artist, she says at her web site. “Growing up in Idaho, crayons, colored pencils, and markers were her most loyal companions. However, the thought of becoming an artist never crossed her mind until college. She has a big soft spot for hound dogs, otters, and especially bears.” To that end she has created fine art prints, theater posters, and also fan art works. She has even illustrated several books for young readers, all of which have anthropomorphic interest: An Orphan No More (a story of adoption) by Jerry Windle and Jordan Windle, The Three Bears ABC (which uses the classic fairy tale to teach the alphabet) by Grace Maccarone, the Dolphin School series by Catherine Hapka, and Pupunzel (you can guess!) by Maribeth Boelts.

image c. 2017 by Hollie Hibbert

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Categories: News

FC-255 Printing Partners - Back after the holidays we boot up the studio an- We bought a house.

FurCast - Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 23:59

Back after the holidays we boot up the studio an- We bought a house.

Download MP3

Watch Video Link Roundup: News: Emails:
  • Qorrux – “A Cat Raised by Dogs?”
  • Ashdon – “0w0”
  • Commander Wolfe – “Bit of a problem”
  • Serf Raccoon – “Difficult understanding: Value of spending”
FC-255 Printing Partners - Back after the holidays we boot up the studio an- We bought a house.
Categories: Podcasts

FC-255 Printing Partners - Back after the holidays we boot up the studio an- We bought a house.

FurCast - Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 23:59

Back after the holidays we boot up the studio an- We bought a house.

Download MP3

Watch Video Link Roundup: News: Emails:
  • Qorrux – “A Cat Raised by Dogs?”
  • Ashdon – “0w0”
  • Commander Wolfe – “Bit of a problem”
  • Serf Raccoon – “Difficult understanding: Value of spending”
FC-255 Printing Partners - Back after the holidays we boot up the studio an- We bought a house.
Categories: Podcasts

[Live] Printing Partners

FurCast - Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 23:59

Back after the holidays we boot up the studio an- We bought a house.

Download MP3

Link Roundup: News: Emails:
  • Qorrux – “A Cat Raised by Dogs?”
  • Ashdon – “0w0”
  • Commander Wolfe – “Bit of a problem”
  • Serf Raccoon – “Difficult understanding: Value of spending”
[Live] Printing Partners
Categories: Podcasts

Penguin & Peep, Moose & Bear

In-Fur-Nation - Sat 7 Jan 2017 - 02:59

Monica Bruenjes specializes in animation, children’s book illustration, & comics. She is the founder of Subarashii, a creator-owned company designed for providing you with “Splendid artwork for a joyful life.” To that end she has created an on-line comic called Penguin & Peep. “Best friends and polar opposites, Penguin & Peep go on adventures in hopes of having the perfect day together. Penguin loves his home in the zoo, but Peep is always looking for something new.” Also on her web site you’ll find information about Moosebear, a TV series concept which Monica has been trying to pitch. “In the Alaskan woods behind her house, a relocated California girl determined to fit in becomes friends with a magical creature trying to help his no-nonsense neighbors.”

image c. 2017 by Monica Bruenjes

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Categories: News

Introducing… Aggretsuko!

Furry.Today - Fri 6 Jan 2017 - 18:40

Sanrio (Hello Kitty) has introduced a new character, a Red Panda. "Aggretsuko is a cute Red Panda, working as an office associate in the accounting department of a highly respected trading company. She works in one of the biggest metropolitan areas of Tokyo. It’s always been a dream of Aggretsuko to work as an accountant, especially in this part of the city. But in reality, her bosses are unsympathetic and give her harsh deadlines. She ultimately has become a pushover within the company. When she gets pushed to the limit, she goes out after work and takes out her frustration and stress with heavy metal Karaoke sessions!"
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Categories: Videos

Five Steps to Help You Find New Love

Ask Papabear - Fri 6 Jan 2017 - 15:52
Hi, Papabear.

It's been 3 years since I first wrote to you, and I am very happy to see you once again. Since I last contacted you, I've gotten past my nightly existential problems with your suggestions. What's more is over these last few years, I have made some huge steps forward in my life.

These days I've found myself in an actual successful career, in good health, and recently moved out of my folk's place and into a nest of my very own with a couple close friends as roommates. 

But with all this success and joy that I've worked to get to... I can't help but be the loneliest bird in the nest.

Within the past few years I've had a few relationships that went south. Abusive relationships, cold or toxic (in one case both) relationships. Even a horrid long distance relationship. Most recently one that physically abused me. That one ended ... well terribly. Since then I've been focused on my career too much to even start thinking about having another relationship. But now that things have leveled out and my schedule has given me a few days of freedom every now and then. I'm thinking about dating again. 

I've considered online dating, mainly because I've tried having my friends set me up with my last few relationships. I've been on the fence with actually pulling the trigger on filling out one of those online profiles and trying it. I'm just afraid that I will end up worse off than I was earlier this year. It's really hard to find an example of the questions that each individual sites ask and I'm afraid I will get invested in something and not be properly represented. Then either disappoint someone I meet through it or scare them away. Or just end up heart broken and constantly going onto the next person hoping that they might be 'the one.'

My question is, is online dating actually worth the trouble or should I just stick to the 'old fashioned way' of dating?

Either way, I hope someday soon I can find someone to fill the empty spot in my nest. 

From,
Dimitri (The Lonely Phoenix, age 26)
 
* * *
 
Dear Dimitri,
 
I’m glad my reply to your 2013 letter was helpful, and thank you for writing again. Life is about problems to be faced, challenges to overcome. Fix one issue, and the next will knock on your door after that. Let’s work on this one.
 
There is nothing wrong with meeting someone online (that is, actually, how I met my beloved, departed, Jim). You can look at online dating as another tool in your belt to be used. It really doesn’t matter how you meet someone; what matters is the chemistry between you.
 
Letting your friends play matchmaker is clearly not working for you. They probably don’t understand what you need. Many people, when playing this game, look only at the outside (“Oh, isn’t s/he cute?” “Oh, s/he has money and owns a cool car!”, that sort of thing).
 
You say you’ve been in some bad, even abusive relationships. I’ve seen this happen to lots of people before. It happens for a couple reasons: 1) as noted above, you’re using the wrong measuring stick; 2) you’re too desperate and lonely, so you grab onto the first person who shows even the mildest interest in you; or 3) you have low self-esteem issues and don’t believe you can do better (especially true in the case of partner-abuse situations).
 
First thing you need to do is recognize and believe you are a worthwhile person who deserves love. Once that happens, you won’t allow people treat you like the gum on the bottom of their shoe, which will delete a lot of reject material from your list of candidates. Remember, if you can’t be yourself around this person, then they are the wrong choice.
 
Second, work on being a better judge of character. Part of this is trusting your instincts. If you feel there is something “off” about someone, something that doesn’t feel right or is perhaps even disturbing, then listen to that voice in your head and back away from them. I had this experience not too long ago. A guy who was actually quite nice in many ways, as well as financially secure, but there were some things about him that, eventually, I realized made him not the guy for me.
 
Third, at the same time that you are being discriminating, you must also allow yourself to be open to possibilities. You might meet someone who, at first, makes you think, “Oh, I could never be with someone like that!” But then you find, if you get to know them more deeply, that they are actually terrific! Often, this is because the person is hiding behind a mask that society told them to wear. Lift off the mask, and you find an actual human being.
 
Fourth, do not rush, take it easy, don’t push. Allow things to evolve organically. When you meet someone who seems really great, don’t jump into bed with them. Get to know them first. Sex will come when you’re ready.
 
Finally, of course, be good to them in return.
 
And that’s how it’s done.
 
Good luck!
Papabear

A Wolf and Dog Trading Places

In-Fur-Nation - Fri 6 Jan 2017 - 02:59

“Lynn Chen is an illustrator / animator / 3D environment artist originally from Szechuan, China. She loves to travel and draw cute creatures. With an Animation major background and the professional experience in video game industry, she combined her illustration with animation to create interactive picture books that make kids laugh.” The first of those books in question would be Woolly and Shaggy, which is currently available as an app. According to the official web site, “Woolly Wolf lives in the forest and get tired of hunting; Shaggy Dog resides in the town and get bored from herding sheep. What would happen if they decide to exchange their lives?” The site includes an introductory animated short which Lynn put up on Vimeo. She also has her own personal web site to display many of her other animation projects and full-color illustrations.

image c. 2016 by Lynn Chen

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