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And You Think YOU’RE A Fanboy…
Something else that slipped below the radar, even though it appeared at the Sundance Film Festival. Brigsby Bear is a new surreal live-action comedy produced by the Lonely Island folks from Saturday Night Live. According to Wikipedia, the story goes like this: “James Pope was kidnapped from a hospital as a baby and since childhood all the way to adulthood has known nothing about the world except Brigsby Bear, a children’s show character fabricated by his kidnapper parents. One day, James is rescued and brought out into the real world where he learns that Brigsby Bear is not a real children’s show. Confused and baffled by these turn of events, James sets out to make a Brigsby Bear movie to show the world what he has learned.” Starring Kyle Mooney (Saturday Night Live) as James, the film is directed by Dave McCary. Other notable names in the cast include Greg Kinnear and Mark Hamill. Sony Pictures picked up Brigsby Bear and will release it to theaters at the end of July.
image c. 2017 Sony Pictures
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FC-269 Adorable Agony - The Fay was out, so CJ & Paradox run a short show with a sprinkle of news and an email followup.
The Fay was out, so CJ & Paradox run a short show with a sprinkle of news and an email followup.
Watch Video Link Roundup: News:- Gator Takes Memorial Day Dip In Backyard Pool
- Tourist attacked by Komodo dragon in Indonesia
- Two Burglars Sodomized For Five Days Straight After Breaking Into The House Of Notorious Gay Rapist
- Oanta – Life Update: Big Changes Have Arrived (Read and Reply a.s.a.p. either on the show or via email – Thanks!)
FC-269 Adorable Agony - The Fay was out, so CJ & Paradox run a short show with a sprinkle of news and an email followup.
The Fay was out, so CJ & Paradox run a short show with a sprinkle of news and an email followup.
Watch Video Link Roundup: News:- Gator Takes Memorial Day Dip In Backyard Pool
- Tourist attacked by Komodo dragon in Indonesia
- Two Burglars Sodomized For Five Days Straight After Breaking Into The House Of Notorious Gay Rapist
- Oanta – Life Update: Big Changes Have Arrived (Read and Reply a.s.a.p. either on the show or via email – Thanks!)
[Live] Adorable Agony
The Fay was out, so CJ & Paradox run a short show with a sprinkle of news and an email followup.
Link Roundup: News:- Gator Takes Memorial Day Dip In Backyard Pool
- Tourist attacked by Komodo dragon in Indonesia
- Two Burglars Sodomized For Five Days Straight After Breaking Into The House Of Notorious Gay Rapist
- Oanta – Life Update: Big Changes Have Arrived (Read and Reply a.s.a.p. either on the show or via email – Thanks!)
Monsters of War
Whoops! Another, more-recent one that passed us by — and once again it’s about werewolves. Namwolf is a new full-color comic series from Albatross Funnybooks. “When scrawny Marty Spencer is drafted into the Vietnam War, he finds himself smack dab in the middle of the heart of darkness. But Marty has a secret. A secret even from himself. And Vietnam is a hell of a place to find out you’re a werewolf.” It’s written by Fabian Rangel Jr., with art by Logan Faerber. Three issues are out so far, and Comixology has a preview of each.
image c. 2017 Albatross
S6 Special 1 – FWIW LIVE! at BLFC 2017 - At long last, Fur What It's Worth has made it to a convention to run a LIVE! show for everyone. Roo and Tugs are joined by Kyo and Harvey as they discuss their thoughts on our place in this "Biggest Little World" (
NOW LISTEN!
Show Notes
Special Thanks
Kyo, our guest
Harvey, our guest
Husky in Denial, for making awesome remixes for the show
Dr. Nuka
Our special snipe announcer for the preshow.
Everyone who attended FWIW LIVE! YOU MATTER TO US SO MUCH! THANK YOU FOR COMING!
Music
Opening Theme: Husky In Denial – Kaiju Fields. USA: Unpublished, 2015. ©2017 Fur What It’s Worth and Husky in Denial. Based on Fredrik Miller– Cloud Fields (Radio Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. ©2011 Fur What It’s Worth. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Some music was provided by Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. We used the following pieces:
Spy Glass
Space News Music: Fredrik Miller – Orbit. USA: Bandcamp, 2013. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Get Psyched Music: Husky In Denial - Universe (Untitled Remix). USA: Unpublished, 2017. ©2017 Fur What It's Worth and Husky in Denial. Based on Fredrik Miller - Universe). (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Closing Theme: Husky In Denial – Cloud Fields (1984 Closing Mix). USA: Unpublished, 2015. ©2015 Fur What It’s Worth and Husky in Denial. Based on Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Chill Out Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. ©2011 Fur What It’s Worth. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Patreon Love
The following people have decided this month’s Fur What It’s Worth is worth actual cash! THANK YOU!
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Premium Supporters – None :c
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Docos (Picture coming soon…when he has one! Any artists out there wanna hook him up? 🙂 )
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Want to be on this list? Donate on our Patreon page! THANK YOU to our supporters once again!
Giveaway
The giveaway for this show was a customized collar! We also had a bonus random giveaway of custom condoms which read "Save a Fox. Use a Condom. Listen to Fur What It's Worth."
Next episode: He's become a new legend - we're interviewing Boozy Badger and talking about Fandom Touristing! S6 Special 1 – FWIW LIVE! at BLFC 2017 - At long last, Fur What It's Worth has made it to a convention to run a LIVE! show for everyone. Roo and Tugs are joined by Kyo and Harvey as they discuss their thoughts on our place in this "Biggest Little World" (
Welcome to Duckberg!
Disney is starting to release more clips from the new Ducktales series. So here is 3 new shorts to help you get into the series. Of course time travel jokes now they have David Tennent. https://youtu.be/aAm8aw_7RXM https://youtu.be/97PgkLg_jFY
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Celebrity Dish, by M. R. Anglin – Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Celebrity Dish, by M. R. Anglin
Seattle, WA, CreateSpace, March 2017, trade paperback $4.99 (100 [+ 1] pages), Kindle $1.99.
M. R. Anglin has written five previous books in her Silver Foxes series. The foxes with metallic, silvery fur who controlled electricity had made themselves and their nation of Expermia the masters of the world of Clorth. 1,500 years ago the other nations of Clorth joined together in invading Expermia and killing all the silver foxes. They have been extinct until now. J. R. Dunsworth (wolf), a criminal with a soft heart, rescues two orphaned fox kits and raises them as his own children. When Xenatha (Xena), a gray fox, approaches puberty, her fur begins to turn silvery and she develops electrical powers that she can’t control. The first four Silver Foxes novels tells what happens to Xena; her younger sister Kathra; their foster father J. R.; Hunter, the boyfriend Xena finds; and the villains who plot to kill the others and control Xena’s powers for themselves.
Book 5 is the small 79-page Interlude, and it does seem like an interlude in the series. J.R. takes the others to hide on the Isle de Losierres, the most exclusive and richest vacation resort on Clorth. He hadn’t revealed that the wolf businesswoman who runs the Isle is his long-suffering sister Chloe. Xena and the others finally have a chance to relax and bond as a family. Xena’s adolescent foster cousin Mira (wolf) introduces her to her friends (Shandra, a tigress, Dori, a chameleon, and Katie, a raccoon), and Xena, still hiding her silver fox nature, begins to live as a normal teen. Xena’s enemies search for her, apparently in vain.
Celebrity Dish, the sixth Silver Foxes book, is a second interlude. Jessica, the hottest pop superstar on Clorth, comes to the Isle de Losierres for a vacation and to give a concert. Jessica is a bird, but what kind is a mystery and part of her mystique – she constantly appears in new costumes to keep everyone guessing.
“One was a tan mongoose [her manager] and the other a bird of … indeterminate species. She had the yellow feathers of a canary, but her tail had the shape of an ostrich’s. Those tail feathers filled the seat so that the mongoose sat tilted toward the door. The feathers on her head curled and swirled around her face, and a crest of three feathers extended beyond them. She had the curved beak of a red-tailed hawk. Her arms – wings, really – rested on her lap. She wore a red, asymmetrical dress that grazed her upper thigh. The dress was so short that Alex, the mongoose, feared that any movement would show of [sic.] her … “treasures” … so he insisted she wear black tights underneath.” (p. 14)
The real reason is that “Dan”, an obsessed fan, has been threatening to find out Jessica’s real species and reveal it. She hopes that the exclusiveness and security of the Isle will keep him away. Hunter, Xena’s boyfriend, is hired as part of her security, and he brings Xena along as Zed, his assistant. The job looks like an easy one, until anomalies about “Dan” begin appearing; and it looks like his real goal is not to reveal Jessica’s true species but to murder her.
A further complication is whether Hunter and Xena can find out who “Dan” is and save Jessica without revealing Xena’s own secret.
Celebrity Dish (cover by the author with Tazia Hall) is a complete story, but there is the brief reappearance of a ghostly German Shepherd from Interlude and a coda that, unknown to Xena and her friends, her enemies are closing in that promises more adventures in the future.
Celebrity Dish is an enjoyable story, but despite all of the anthropomorphic characters – the cat celebrity reporter, the pelican nightclub bouncer, the skunk assassin – and Xena’s electromagnetic silver fur, it’s really the same kind of all-human thriller that I’ve seen in countless 1930s B-movie murder mysteries, especially the Charlie Chan series. Anglin has been developing the Silver Foxes slowly – besides the six books, there are the short stories “On the Run from Isofell” in the anthology Gods With Fur (FurPlanet Productions), and “My Experiences With J. R. Dunsworth“, As Told By Mira”, a 29-page Kindle purchase – but I hope that she returns to full-scale novels soon.
To support writing by furries, for furries, please visit Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, and support all of the team’s news and reviews.
Werewolf To The Rescue
Somehow this missed us the first time around, but now it’s out in a new in a new full-color hardcover collection from Image Comics: All 25 issues of The Astounding Wolf-Man. “When Gary Hampton is mauled and left for dead, his life takes a drastic turn! When the moon is full, he transforms into a beast of the night—a werewolf! But this curse will not be used for evil. Witness the birth of the world’s most unlikely new superhero—The Astounding Wolf-Man!” It’s written by none other than Robert Kirkman (The Walking Dead) with art by Jason Howard. Look for it at the end of this month.
image c. 2017 Image Comics
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Patrick’s BLFC 2017 Video
Furry Nights movie review – a crowd pleaser for lovers of campy indie horror.
Do you love trash like I do? In the 1970’s, exploitation movies became a thing where trash and sleaze were loveable qualities. They had fun doing stuff the mainstream wouldn’t do. Along with the bad, came good access for audiences that Hollywood didn’t represent, like minorities and subcultures. Now “Fursploitation” is creeping into popular awareness. I characterize it that way if it portrays “furries” with off-the-rack, poorly fitting mascot costumes and orgy jokes. That stuff may not play well with furries, but it can. They’ll probably dislike it if it has low effort at research, or feels carelessly opportunistic or mean, but it helps to be indie and share inside references to laugh together. A success would be CollegeHumor’s “Furry Force”, which the fandom took with good humor.
Furry Nights is an indie horror movie directed by J. Zachary. It premiered in late 2016 with a theater show in Atlanta. I heard from several very happy furry watchers who attended. Then Zachary asked me to tell you about it.
Furry Nights is now available on iTunes. Here’s the synopsis from the official website:
“What begins as a carefree weekend amongst a group of camping teens soon takes a strange turn when the gang discovers they are not alone in the forest. FURRIES have rooted camp just across the nearby lake. Not worried about the “party animals,” the kids sleep soundly that night, only to be woken by a real life horror — A BEAR! One of the teens shoots and kills the grizzly monster, but quickly realizes the tragic truth — HE HAS SHOT A FURRY . . . Now, the maniacal furries will stop at nothing to make them pay . . .
CAN THE TEENS SURVIVE THE REVENGE OF THE FURRIES?!”
@KaiWulf said: “Indy film, very campy. We had a good laugh.” And here’s another happy watcher.
FURRY GUEST REVIEW: Lucas Hale shares his experience of the movie premiere in Atlanta.
(Lucas:) Once upon a time, in the magical realm of infinite shitposting that is known as “Furry Twitter”, there was an Internet dog. He was yellow and labradorable, because he associated himself in the fandom of weirdos that play dress-up as talking animals as a yellow labrador. He was slacking around at work as usual, struggling to retain interest in his mountain of boring projects, thumbing through his phone. It was me!
Some anonymous stranger with an avatar of one of “them animal people” had been retweeted onto my twitter timeline. In that tweet-that-changed-my-life was mention of a film playing at the oldest local historic independent theater in Atlanta, Georgia. Some film about killer furries was booked to play there. I’d never heard of such a film, but it immediately caught my interest. I quickly googled the title and didn’t discover much. I went to youtube and hit the keywords. “Furry Nights movie trailer”. There it was. This thing was real.
I first thought it was like a five or ten minute short film. (The Plaza shows them quite often) It was feature length! Breathing heavily and squealing with indescribable joy, I rallied the squad, blasting friends all over Twitter and Telegram, determined to find some brave souls eager enough to sit through me and another one of my shitty movie adventures. (I attend movies every week, no matter what the content. I’ll usually sit through it good or bad.) I quickly found at least five friends, willing to get to Atlanta, come hell or high water. Good or bad, whether it portrayed furries as horrible sexual deviants, this movie had to be witnessed. The fellowship was born.
We traveled across the land, searching far and wide for parking, of which there was very limited spaces. When we got inside, we shuffled our way nervously to the counter and planted our money on the concession counter, demanding tickets. We were flabbergasted when they told us that the entire theater had been rented out, and all seats were for grabs to anyone willing to watch it. I ain’t gonna complain, I got bills to pay and an insatiable appetite for impulsive purchases.
Shuffling into the back of the theater, trying to go unnoticed, we were greeted and thanked by a suspiciously friendly man, who we could only assume was involved with the picture. Praise was showered upon us, how wonderful it was we came out, what it meant to him that we were supporting it. Did he know who we were? Were we even supposed to be there? Was this some sort of private event we were quietly crashing? We had no idea, but we eventually began to toy with the twitter account for the theater, hinting that our presence had infiltrated one of their movie premieres.
As the movie neared showtime, the man who had greeted us took to the front of the room. He, the director, described the labor of love he had put into making this, how it was his dream to make a feature film and have it play out on a big screen. I admired that about him. He presented himself as a genuinely nice individual and he didn’t really care what anyone else thought. He hoped people would like it, but most of all, he made it for himself and he was proud of it.
We crashed the premiere of #FurryNights & got applauded when the director found out actual furries were in attendance. video:Cajuntagious pic.twitter.com/1aSfbcX4Tf
— Werewulf Dad (@KaiWulf) December 1, 2016I wasn’t quite sure what to expect going in to be honest. This was either going to be so bad and stupid and dumb that it was going to be a laugh riot, or it was just going to be really boring and offensive. Luckily it was the former. My furry fam and I all enjoyed it very much.
Plotwise, it’s fairly simple. Nothing complicated here. It’s your basic horror comedy movie setup for a creature feature. A small group of people adventure out into the woods, for some reason they choose not to leave, despite multiple opportunities. They find an unspeakable evil that hunts them down and whittles them down to smaller numbers.
The difference here being that this time, the creatures terrorizing the hot young cast are humans wearing animal costumes. The monsters in the movie are literally furries in fursuits. Kinda crummy cheap looking ones compared to what people in the fandom would spend to get one, but it adds to the idea I’m watching some sort of surreal episode of Scooby Doo. I don’t fault the movie for this at all – I can’t think of a single furry who would volunteer to ruin their $2,000 costume. I spent $1,450 just to get my own. Think of all the delicious big macs I had to sacrifice to be a banana dog at furry conventions.
The cheesy fursuits make the film perfect. The entire film pretty much honors and accepts that it’s a low budget B-horror movie production. It hits the ground running and never lets go. Hell, even the main characters in the movie are in the forest producing their own cheesy horror movie. From start to finish it knows it’s ridiculous. The dialogue is quippy and humorous, often bringing a smirky chuckle to your face. Other parts are outlandish and surreal and your eyes are glued to the screen. Did that just happen? Yes it did!
I’m the perfect audience for this film. I watch horror and sci-fi genre media like a nutcase. I pretty much consume cheesy Sy Fy and Asylum movies like nourishment for my soul. I have the added benefit of being able to call myself a furry. I have no idea what someone would think of this that’s not in the furry fandom, like myself, but I thought it was stupidly awesome. It was entrancing.
Furry Nights is an 80’s midnight movie rebranded for a modern audience. What’s not to love? The movie isn’t very original, or smart, or scary, but it’s highly amusing and entertaining and that’s all it is trying to do. It’s all it needs to do honestly. This film isn’t trying to break any new ground, it was clearly meant to be shared with friends late at night at a party with a bunch of alcohol.
It has many different classic horror movie tropes, right down to the fact it begins with a quick kill of an unimportant nameless bastard before the opening title card, who stumbles upon the maniac sex cult of furries. There’s a cabin in the woods like Evil Dead. There’s some great gross out gags here and there. Furry Nights (to my relief) was not trying to make people in the furry fandom look bad, it’s just poking fun at them and it feels good to laugh at yourself.
The whole movie knows how ridiculous it is. It never tries to pass itself off as anything serious, and that’s exactly why it works. I watched this movie to see killer furries, and goddamn did I get that! It delivered on every level! You don’t pay to ride a rollercoaster then complain when you get off! I saw murderous fursuiters terrorizing mostly innocent campers.
I’ve told so many people about this movie, how it needs to be shared, because socially, that’s where this movie is supposed to be viewed. You don’t watch this alone. To fully enjoy this movie to the maximum potential, you need to get your friends for a completely different viewing experience. Audience interaction builds upon the intensity of this odd little gem. It’s kind of like how on its own, Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Room, they’re just not the same animal. But if you’re laughing at it with your friends, it becomes the best thing ever made. I’m glad I watched it and invite you to do the same.
– Lucas
Furry Nights is now available on iTunes. Visit the official website for updates and more.
Thanks to Lucas for being the experimental volunteer to watch this. Personally, I would love to see more such fandom productions – but it’s such a niche that we have to grow and give it time. Until then, I definitely appreciate good natured “fursploitation”, and friendly fellow travelers on the indie side. I hope you do too. Try this for a furry movie party!
To support writing by furries, for furries, please visit Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, and support all of the team’s news and reviews.
Fursuit theft in San Francisco leads to a lion hunt.
Meet Clumzy Lion from Toronto. He was one of 5,138 furries who came to Biggest Little Fur Con in Reno on June 1-4, 2017. His trip included a night in San Francisco’s popular Fisherman’s Wharf area before flying home. That’s where he lost his head. Clumzy’s car was broken into, and they even took his passport so he couldn’t fly. Being robbed and stuck is much worse than just a sad feline.
Remember a similar fursuit theft that made local news by SFist and Broke-Ass Stuart? More about that below. They’re linked in case they can help.
(Update: thanks to @SFist for sharing the story!)
Clumzy’s plight spread through the grapevine of the SF Bay Area Furs. Zarafa, a purple giraffe and beloved member, took charge of helping. He told me the story hit him like PTSD, because he was a former victim too.
In January 2016, Zarafa’s giraffe suit disappeared out of his car after Frolic furry dance in SOMA. The next day, party organizer Neonbunny personally flyered the neighborhood. A homeless person saw the giraffe abandoned in an alley, and a flyer made the connection to get it home. Neonbunny’s fast, determined footwork saved the day. (Thanks also to SFist, Broke-Ass Stuart, and furries around the world for moral support. Zarafa says people still come up to him at cons to say they’re happy about it.)
The story brought hope for Clumzy. Meanwhile, the Canadian Consulate accommodated his other bags and helped him to start getting a new passport. Zarafa took him in as a house guest for the night. On Twitter, he was advised to come to the Berkeley Furmeet at Au Coquelet Cafe, where dozens of Bay Area Furries gather on every first Tuesday. There he was offered hugs, rides, and a flyer by Lilly, and I offered to spread the story.
The next day brought some good luck. The passport was found on the ground near Ghirardelli Square. It was a clue that connected the theft and the find to a small area. But searching and flyering was fruitless. Clumzy was free to fly home, but with a big loss.
The search continues. Please share, and if the fursuit turns up, we’ll get it home for another happy ending.
I couldn't find the suit head sadly. Rakota will be helping me hunt it down as I head to the airport.
— Clumzy (@ClumzyLion) June 8, 2017
Zarafa was upset to see history repeat. Keeping a Pelican case in a car appears to make special temptation – thieves think a big case means it’s full of gold, instead of a custom-tailored costume with priceless personal value. He compared the situation to New York City in the 1970’s, when people couldn’t leave their cars closed. They would leave the windows open and take the radios out.
From the NY Times:
Recent data from the F.B.I. show that San Francisco has the highest per-capita property crime rate of the nation’s top 50 cities. About half the cases here are thefts from vehicles, smash-and-grabs that scatter glittering broken glass onto the sidewalks.
It’s a hot discussion in groups for night life. Some venues like DNA Lounge give extra attention to have their security patrol the street. Cyclists are hard hit, and the SFPD has a twitter channel just to help with bike theft. People are even having their grandma’s ashes stolen. What’s the solution? Whatever it is, you can’t avoid problems all the time. For times like this, it’s good to have a community that steps up for one of their own.
(Update: Felix The Fox also lost luggage to look for.)
@Felix_the_Fox bag : looks like this pic.twitter.com/eXtmFbF0sG
— Spring Red Lynx (@Jinxthelynx) June 7, 2017Strap on the bag pic.twitter.com/sx7iyS1TWD
— Spring Red Lynx (@Jinxthelynx) June 7, 2017To support writing by furries, for furries, please visit Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, and support all of the team’s news and reviews.
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FA 074 All Questions Show Vol. 5 - Does social media boost self esteem? How many questions will Metriko read this week? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!
Hello Everyone!
This week we open with a discussion on Social Media and self-confidence. We look at recent studies from Princeton University and the University of South Wales that looks into whether or not tailoring your social media accounts and working to get likes and retweets actually acts as a self-confidence booster. Not to spoil you, but the answer is no, it does not.
Our main portion of the show is our fifth All-Questions Show! We take a trip through our backlog of questions, ranging from helping a younger fur in a conservative household with dating advice, to how to ensure your genuine self is being portrayed to potential partners online, to materials and resources for a couple wanting to slightly open up their relationship. Several of these questions are longer and, as always, we invite you to offer your feedback and offer your own take, especially if you think we missed the mark.
We close out the show with some feedback on our previous episode's question on how to remain optimistic when you feel like your life has been put on hold.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well!
FA 074 All Questions Show Vol. 5 - Does social media boost self esteem? How many questions will Metriko read this week? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!Troubled Teen Gets Little Sympathy from Mom
You may know me from a previous letter (I had asked you how to prepare for MFF) and I apologize for writing again so soon. The length of this letter is also kinda insane, but it takes a bit of explaining.
Right after said convention I was diagnosed with major depression (and what we believe to be chronic depression because my grandfather also has it, but that is to be proved later if this persists for over a year). I had a therapist who I didn't like, but my mother refused to change. Because this was during the school year, I wasn't sleeping well and I missed the bus a lot of days.
My therapist told me I was just being defiant and I was just being lazy. She told me I couldn't sleep because I wasn't trying hard enough. I asked my mother to change my therapist several times, but she didn't listen. My mother thought that I was just in denial of the truth.
This persisted onto January, to the point where I was suicidal and self-harming. Around Easter, I told my mom I needed more help, and she got me evaluated at a local mental hospital. They wanted to do inpatient therapy because I did have a plan, but we decided to do a partial day program instead because I had already missed too much school.
I was probably the happiest during the period where I was in this day program. I related to other kids who were also struggling. We all kinda came together to support each other without stressing each other out. I was doing better, but I was most definitely still depressed.
It was also around then I began questioning gender identity. I don't want to draw any conclusions (I'm only 13!), but I would just prefer to be called they/them while I figure things out. I told my mom this, and she said it was a teenage phase and I was just trying to be a special snowflake. She seemed to overlook the fact that I legitimately hated my body. Not because of weight, but because I'm too curvy and too feminine looking. I don't like long hair, I've always wanted a lower voice, and she/her pronouns irk me.
I know I shouldn't have been so hurt by it, but it wasn't like I was actively binding my chest. I just wanted to be called they/them pronouns while I tried to figure out what was going on.
Four weeks of being in the day program later, and I was discharged. I kept fighting to stay in and kept telling everyone that I wasn't ready yet, I hadn't learned enough of the coping skills, but my mom said I needed to hurry up and leave because she didn't want to drive me there anymore.
So here I am, starting therapy again (with a new therapist at the least) and trying to survive. It's been three weeks since I've left the program and it only seems like I've backslid more. I've stopped self-harming as much, but I still do occasionally, and most days I sit in bed and think of how better everyone else would be without me and other self-degrading things. I usually tell my mom I'm drawing and talking to friends on my phone, and she believes it.
This is where my problem comes in: My mom makes suicide jokes, makes fun of me for wanting to be called they/them pronouns, and instead of calling me depressed, likes to call me "crazy". I'll give an example for each.
Say the car is really hot, my sister says (jokingly) she's going to jump out of the window if my mom doesn't turn the air on. My mother says "wow you must REALLY hate yourself if you're gonna do that!!"
If my mom is talking about my therapy, she'll say she's tired of driving me everywhere and something along the lines of "If you didn't start acting all crazy I wouldn't have to take you."
And finally, just general comments like "how many people are you if you're a they??" "see, if you have boobs that means you're a girl."
She ignores how much I actually hate myself and how much I'm actually struggling and it makes me really uncomfortable every time she says stuff like this. I've told her several times to just use the word depressed and not crazy, but she hasn't listened.
If you have any advice on how to tell her how uncomfortable this makes me, or how to cope with it in the meantime, it would be much appreciated.
Thanks again,
Ioga (age 13)
* * *
Hi, Ioga,
Troubled letters such as yours always go to the top of the pile, so here we are.
Sounds like you're dealing with two things: 1) Gender dysphoria (the feeling that your body doesn't match who you are inside), and 2) Lack of a support system (either professional or personal). One or the other is bad enough, but combine the two and I can see how you would be in a lot of distress and pain (hugs to you).
Let's tackle #2 first. There are good and bad therapists. Clearly, the first one you had was abysmal. Then you had a bit of a halcyon period at the hospital. That sounds like it was a good environment, but your mother wouldn't let you stay. Your mom continues to insult you and act as if you are more of a burden than someone she loves unconditionally. I would guess (correct me if I am wrong) that she gave birth to you at a young age (perhaps as a teen) and that, in addition, her own mother (your grandmother) was not a great mom. Consequently, she herself never learned to be a good mother. Another possibility is that she was not socialized well as a baby (for example, if she was neglected by your grandparents, this can be very damaging to emotional health) and she consequently lacks empathy for her own child. A third possibility is that she has a substance abuse problem that makes her unpleasant.
Therefore, when you ask me for advice on how to approach your mother and tell her she makes you uncomfortable, I have to respond that there probably is no good way because your mom lacks empathy. Whether you tell her frankly or with more subtlety, she's not going to get it. In fact, confronting her could exacerbate the problem, making her feel like you are even more crazy (e.g., "There's nothing wrong with me, it's just that my daughter is nuts.") In other words, I would say your mother needs psychological help just as much as you do, perhaps more. I would suggest you talk about all this with your new therapist and ask for their advice on what to do with your unsupportive mother. One possibility is to have both of you attend a therapy session together. This can be an awesome way of airing out any bad feelings between the two of you. In asking your mother to come with you to a session (after arranging it with the therapist), don't say, "because you need help, too." Just say that your therapist would like your mom to sit in for one or two talks.
As for #1, perhaps we should hold off on that for a while until you get through puberty. You, wisely, note this yourself. Again, your identity issues are fodder for your therapist. This can be a process that lasts for years before you figure it all out.
In the meantime, you still need to find some personal support. Do you have friends you can talk to? Perhaps in the furry community? Or, do you have other relatives who might prove to be more sympathetic and willing to lend an ear? You need to find someone besides your mom and a paid therapist that you can talk to, even get some hugs.
I hope this is helpful. If you wish to talk more about this with me, that's what I'm here for.
Bear Hugs,
Papabear
The Bear Atrocities
We don’t even try to explain some of the things we come across here, folks… We just pass them along to you! Like a new 5-issue full-color miniseries from Image Comics called Shirtless Bear-Fighter! Here’s what they tell us: “After being betrayed by the bears that raised him, the legendary Shirtless Bear-Fighter wanders the forest he’s sworn to protect, fistfighting bears, eating flapjacks, and being the angriest man the world has ever known! When wild-eyed, super-strong bears attack the citizens of Major City, Shirtless ventures into the human world to do what he does best…Punch Those Bears In The Face! But all is not as it seems. Someone is manipulating Shirtless…and only by confronting the demons of his past can Shirtless hope to save his future! A heart-filled, hilarious, tall tale for the ages… you don’t want to miss Shirtless Bear-Fighter!” It’s written by Jody Leheup and Sebastian Girner, with art by Mike Spicer and Nil Vendrell, and it’s coming to comic book stores later this month.
image c. 2017 Image Comics
Mr Blue Footed Booby
Furry Complains about Same Ol' Furcon Guest Speakers
Why do conventions keep choosing the dame furs to be Guests of Honor just about every single weekend and/or year?
I've been in the fandom for quite some time now and love every minute of it. But there's one thing that concerns and that is the choosing of Guest of Honor.
It says on Wikifur that a special guest is someone who puts in a lot of hard work for many many years and who is very talented.
I've noticed that many cons follow or go by that rule anymore. Just look at the past Guests and you will see some really cool names. But now it seems the same names keep on popping up. Go to a convention website and you will see that they keep the same one's over and over again.
It got me thinking why do they keep doing this? How is it fair to the rest of us who have worked really hard for many years but have received no recognition, appreciation, and awards?
Some con staff has gone far as pick someone from over-seas, mostly Europe. Now that costs a lot of money. Thousands actually. So you're telling me there are people out there who are going to fund a stranger's trip to the con?
It seems like they only pick the people who are already rich and successful before they even got to the fandom. Why don't they choose people who are very talented and skilled but down on there luck?
Some people have barely been in the fandom for like a few months and already people are making them a special guest.
I know its all about the money and how much traffic they can bring to their con. It's just it would be nice to start seeing some real changes. Choosing those that have never ever picked before and starting giving them a chance. You never know 'cause they might just surprise you.
Has anyone else noticed this repeating trend? What are your thoughts?
Anonymous
* * *
Hi, Furiend,
Furry convention organizers select special guest speakers that they think will be of interest to attendees. These tend to be people who are, for example, published authors, filmmakers, or well-known artists. They don't pick lesser-known people because they won't attract an audience.
Let's illustrate it this way: say there is a Star Trek convention coming up in Las Vegas. Who would you rather see present a talk? Patrick Stuart or Mary Smith, who has written some successful fan fiction on her blog? Even if Smith is really good at what she does, I think the answer is pretty obvious.
As to why you repeatedly see the same people, there are likely two reasons: 1) same reason you see cast members from Star Trek TNG appearing over and over at conventions, and 2) con leaders often develop relationships with certain speakers and invite them to come back.
Should furcon leaders try to mix it up a bit? Perhaps more effort could be put into that, yes. Often, it can be a struggle to find new speakers, however, who are both willing and able to attend. Also, don't forget, the furry fandom is a very specialized fandom. There are not a lot of people of any prominence who are working in this subgenre of fantasy and science fiction, so choices are limited. Even writers and such who make stuff we consider furry can refuse an invitation because they don't see themselves as furry artists.
If you really wish to influence how this works, perhaps you should get involved with a furry convention and try to get on the committee that selects guest speakers. That's one option :-3
Hugs,
Papabear
Dyeing To Be With You, by Sisco Polaris – Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Dyeing To Be With You, by Sisco Polaris. Illustrated by Edesk.
North Charleston, SC, CreateSpace, December 2015, trade paperback $12.00 (193 pages), Kindle $4.00.
Dyeing To Be With You is a teenage m/m romance, full of adolescent angst. Lucas, just entering Calder High at 14 years old, was the only polar bear there. The other students, all black bears, bullied him viciously, particularly the sadistic Kalvin. Lucas was a bit of a crybaby, so he took it more emotionally than he should have. He was very happy when his father was transferred to Riker’s Bay and his family left Calder.
But now his father has been transferred back to Calder, and Lucas faces returning to Calder High and its bullies for his final year of high school. He’s grown a lot while he was away – he’s 17 and nearly seven feet tall now — but he’s still emotionally weak, too dependent on his older sister Anna.
“Anna’s baby brother – that’s who he had been all his life. Not that it was a bad thing to have a big sister looking out for him. She had always helped him when he needed it. Of course, she had gotten him into a lot of trouble, too. A baby brother was a fine scapegoat when you work together to steal cookies, or (more lately) when you are sneaking out to go on a date, and you need someone to cover for you with your parents.” (p. 13)
When Anna gets a trainee job at a beauty salon, Lucas gets the wild idea of dyeing his fur and passing as a black bear during his final high school year. Anna scoffs at first, then takes it as a challenge.
‘Yeah sure, a new seven foot tall black bear. Besides, you wouldn’t just need black.’ In spite of herself, the female bear’s mind was working it over. ‘They have light brown on their muzzles.’
‘Well, I’m sure you have light brown dye at the salon,’ the male bear replied, a sly smile coming to his face. It was a crazy, insane idea, and he knew it, but it could work. After all, it was just a year, and then he would be out. He could let the dye fade out naturally, or even take a dip in some dye removal solution.” (p. 13)
They are abetted by Anna’s lively superior, Mrs. Nesbitt, who helps dye Lucas’ fur.
“‘Oh my, what a big lad you are, and so polite, too!’ the black bear said with genuine cheer in her voice as she put the brush down and walked over. She touched his shoulders and gave him a close look. The young bear blushed deeply as he was inspected. ‘Ah, a fine strapping young man. Of course, size never stopped bullies; they don’t have to hurt you to hurt you. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will hurt your spirit.’” (p. 28)
Lucas needs to be dyed all over. He hadn’t realized what that meant.
“He yelped as his sister suddenly ran a comb down his sheath. Nobody had touched him there as long as he could remember. Despite his discomfort at his own sister’s touch, his teenage body tingled at the attention.” (p. 31)
After a tense confrontation with his reluctant parents, Lucas gets permission to go ahead with his plan. Lucas is so keyed up on his first day at Calder High that he almost sabotages himself, especially when he finds his locker is near that of a panda named Charlie who turns out to be a friend of Kalvin. And the upbeat Kalvin determines to welcome Lucas (or “Luke”) to the school. Even Kalvin’s most well-meaning efforts, such as his attempt to get Lucas onto the school baseball team, pose hazards.
“‘Great,’ Lucas muttered half-heartedly. His plan to lay low and sail smoothly through his last year had not factored in participation in any team sports. It wasn’t so much the playing that he was worried about, or even the rather poor attitude of the team’s captain. His mother would insist on coming to every game he played and try to drag the entire family with her. Explaining why there was a family of polar bears cheering him on, oh so very loudly, would be difficult.” (pgs. 89-90)
Lucas finds out that Kalvin had a reasonable justification to be cruel to him when they were younger, which he’s matured out of. During his own growth from 14 to 17, Lucas’ sexuality has also developed. He’s turned out to be gay, which he hasn’t come out to anybody about yet. And guess who he is attracted to?
“Halfway through the first movie, the cola finally took its revenge on Kalvin. The warmth was suddenly gone as the black bear stood up whispering urgently, ‘I gotta pee.’ Lucas leaned back in his chair so Kal could slide passed [sic.] him. For a wonderful moment, his friend’s pert rump became his entire world. The soft, tempting mounds mere inches from his face, a strong hint of his musk filling the bear’s nose. He could all but taste the beautiful posterior taunting him, and the urge to lean forward and grab the delicious black mountains with both paws and pull the black bear down onto his lap was so strong he felt his paws move.” (p. 114)
Also guess how Kalvin responds to this. The scenes where they get together – at least two whole chapters — are definitely NSFW.
The questions remaining to Lucas are how to tell his family that he’s gay, and how to tell Kalvin that he’s really that geeky polar bear wimp that he used to torment. Like I said, adolescent angst — pages of it. But at the end, a happier finale than Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
Dyeing To Be With You (cover by Edesk) is a funny-animal novel. There’s no reason why the characters couldn’t be humans instead of bears. Polaris handles the description of them as brown bears and polar bears (and Charlie as a panda – he’s Asiatic-American) nicely, but he undercuts this by too many real human references. There are real video games like Battlefield and Call of Duty; baseball teams like the Yankees; states like Alaska and Texas; movies like the Back to the Future trilogy; candy like Snickers and M&Ms. But if you don’t mind a shallow furriness, some poor proofreading amidst the generally good writing, lots of realistic teen male dialogue with four-letter words, and a lot of explicit teenage gay sex in the last half of the novel, you’ll enjoy Dyeing To Be With You.