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[Series Reboot]Live From the Hop Inn Episode 306
Author: Harvi We’re rebooting the podcast! Now you can take part in the Hop Inn from the beginning! When we catch up to the current episode we’ll update our iTunes Feed to point over here instead of the old, soon to be gone, site. We’ll be adding more information and links as this site progresses [...]
[Series Reboot]Live From the Hop Inn Episode 306
Categories: News
Responding to the "NJ FurBQ" Incident and Furry Paranoia about the Media
[Ed Note: I recently found out what actually happened at the event discussed here. It was truly an eye-opener. However, I have been sworn to silence on the matter. It's too bad, because the truth would dispel a lot of gossip. In the meantime, Papabear has responded as best he could given the facts he was able to obtain secondhand. However, if anyone reading this knows the people who ran the NJ FurBQ, I urge you to ask them to come out publicly with the truth. The most informative and balanced report I've seen online is here: http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2012/07/animal-themed_party_at_west_wi.html.]
The Furry Fandom Nightmare
Hi, I may not have a name for a Fursona and you may notice the words on top: "The Furry Fandom Nightmare" and yet this Question might not be meant to be public... But I may give it a shot. I am not very sure if this is a proper question, you do not have to post this or Answer, or both if you do not want to. Especially if this is a lot of misunderstanding info.. . .
Ever heard about the news about this furry meeting party (NJ FurBQ) that there was possibly a certain behavior going on there? When I saw "all" the fear and the report, I was like "What is the big deal? Even if its true, what’s with all the fear over it? People probably was not hurt." And a lot of people in the Furry Fandom acted all burned with there "Fandom is not like this" (The whole Fandom isn't but part of it might be.) "We need to ban all these people!" "They need to keep their mouths shut about there sexual lives!" "We need to remove all the stuff that could be "offensive"!" "Sick!" And all the evidence talk like if it was a bad crime. (It made it look like a crime scene!)
Its fear just because of fursuits I think. And all this crap I have seen for the past months going on. And I have to say: This is NOT how I picture a Open, Warming, Accepting Fandom. Ever sense the first time: I have never seen the fandom the same way for a long time.
I think I know, it’s mainly to avoid something about society, but I don't think its the answer and think society is the one that needs to be more open about sexuality so all this fighting going on will end in a more better way.
There was a lot of other crap I have seen, I don't want to explain all, its making this letter too long!
I don't even know if this is a proper question, but I am going to try to make it one and connect it with above:
The Question is, is the Furry Fandom ever going to be more TRULY open someday? Will people be able to be accepted Equal and not be forced to put expressions in private when yet, society gets to express thiers? Like I know people have a legal right, I think, but was wondering if in the future, all this fear and fighting wont come up after or something.
Whenever I see talks about stuff (Like that NJ FurBQ) and I see all this fear going on, I get scared so bad about the future. It might make a lot of others and maybe me to stay more in the closet while other Furries get to come out.
Maybe I miss understood something, but I kind of doubted it for this one.
Anonymous
* * *
Dear Anonymous Furry,
Your question provides Papabear with the opportunity to comment on the NJ FurBQ incident and everything to which it relates in the Fandom, so thank you.
A little background: the NJ FurBQ is held twice a year (Memorial Day and Labor Day) at the Twin “W” Rescue Squad (a charitable organization) facility in New Jersey. It’s somewhere between a large furmeet and a furcon, offering fursuiting facilities, games, a bar, live DJs, and outdoor grills for noms, of course.
Since Papabear was not at this FurBQ, I do not know what actually went on there (some furries claim it has been totally blown out of proportion, which I won’t deny as a possibility). For those of you who have been living under a rock and have not heard about it, supposedly what happened was that two fursuiters went off somewhere nearby and began yiffing (or, at least, passionately making out) in broad daylight. Some people, including park security, apparently, saw this and the shit hit the fan. The furry group involved has, rumors say, been banned from the facility (their website http://njfurbq.webs.com/ says nothing about it, so Papabear has no official word on the matter). There was a clip of the TV news story on YouTube, but it has been removed by the user for some reason.
The story, whether true or not, hit a raw nerve. Why? That, my furiends, is a long story. Here is how Papabear understands it from talking to a number of people over the years, starting with some history:
When the first big furcon, ConFurence 1990, was held in Costa Mesa, California, the organizers were concerned they would not get enough attendees, so they opened up the con to what were apparently some fairly sleazy people who were into some pretty kinky stuff (S&M, half-naked slaves on leashes, and such) and were not shy about showing off in public. The media got wind of this and the result was some negative publicity. Even though the next ConFurence considerably cleaned up its act, the damage had been done. Furries became increasingly shy and suspicious of the media after that. This was not helped by such things as the infamouse CSI episode “Fur and Loathing” http://www.csiseries.com/csi-season-4/csi-season-4-episode-5-fur-and-loathing/ which portrays furries only as people who like to have sex in fursuits. Here’s an interesting response to the video by a furry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRN7yPvUVhU.
The policy of many furcons has been to ban or restrict the media. Here is Uncle Kage, chief organizer of Anthrocon, at the 2011 Anthrocon talking about the subject of the media and furries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5HyMH7YXFM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_732134&v=OgVUzqw1LKc&src_vid=K5HyMH7YXFM&feature=iv. Kage asserts that furries are their own worst enemy, often embarassing themselves in front of the media, so it is best just not to talk to the media at all. He goes on to say we should refer to ourselves as people interested in cartoon animals (when talking to nonfurries) and to avoid describing ourselves by what we are not because that puts ideas in people’s heads (e.g. “We are not pedophiles” so people automatically have an image in their heads that we are pedophiles). Kage, as one can see from the video, is very suspicious of the media and feels that they will do anything to twist the story to make furries look like sex-obsessed deviants.
Kage’s idea that the media should be excluded from furry events as much as possible is a bit of overkill, although such views have moderated somewhat over the years (see http://www.anthrocon.org/rules-conduct#media). Papabear’s mate has worked in the media for nearly 40 years, and he advises that keeping furcon doors closed to the media just arouses suspicion that something nasty is going on. Papabear agrees with Kage that we should not describe ourselves by what we are not, but we should also not be ashamed of ourselves and try and hide.
Other cons also adopt policies that reveal how wary we are of the media. The FurtherConfusion official policy allows some restricted media access and also discourages con attendees from speaking to the media (http://www.furtherconfusion.org/2013/policies/press-policy); as another example, Midwest Furfest also requires media personnel to have a badge or they cannot conduct interviews or videotape anything (https://www.furfest.org/page/code). And Califur’s policy is even more restrictive: http://www.califur.com/2012/?page_id=127. To be fair, many conventions put restrictions on the media. Comic-con, for example, makes it very difficult to get a press pass. It is wide to not make a private convention into a free-for-all for the media, but an air of paranoia about TV and radio stations persists to this day.
While it is true that there is some negative stuff out there, here is evidence that the media is not “out to get us.” They might not get everything right, but the stories below are certainly not malicious:
Also, the story in New Jersey (sorry I don’t have a link) was not all that negative, really. There are more stories out there, but that’s a good sample for you. Some, like G4TV, touch a bit on the kink, but certainly don’t obsess about it. It was not, by the way, difficult to find these more positive videos. Papabear believes it is high time we stop fearing the media so much.
Okay, so that covers the media issue fairly well, I believe. Now, back to your question, which was why can’t the fandom be more “open.” Papabear takes this to mean “why can’t we be more open about the sexual nature of furry?”
The answer is we can be a bit more open about it, but the problem lies in how we do it and how we handle society’s reaction to it. Papabear believes that, within the furry community, we are very accepting of our sexuality. Furries open their arms to people of all sexual orientations and practices. More than any other group of people, I feel that we are the least discriminating. Everyone is welcome, no matter the race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, or whatever.
But we live in a much broader society, one that is not always accepting of people, especially those who do not conform to what is considered “normal,” which, in America anyway, means heterosexual, non-kinky sex practiced by married couples in hushed tones behind closed doors and only for the purposes of procreation (boring). Overt sexuality makes many Americans uncomfortable unless that overt sexuality is used to sell cars or beer or movie tickets or Carl’s Jr. jalapeno patty melts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UGoVioteJk; then it is okay. To this bear’s mind, such attitudes about sex are twisted and neurotic in themselves, but that is what is accepted in this country.
So, back to the New Jersey incident. You seem to think that people have the “legal right” to do what these furries are rumored to have done. In fact, you would be wrong about that. Public indecency laws are common throughout the country. It is not legal for you, for example, to go naked in a public park, and having sex in, say, a public toilet is also against the law. So, it is not your legal right to behave in such a way.
The police had a right, therefore, to detain the two furries performing sexual acts in public (again, I’m not saying this happened for sure, but if it did, they could be arrested for it). Banning all furries from the park, if true, was an overreaction.
The reaction to the FurBQ news, and calls for “banning” the accused furries who were involved in the supposed indecent behavior, is not a call to restrict furry sexuality but rather to do something to curtail such foolish behavior, or at least punish those who are seen as giving furries a black eye.
That the furry fandom is so loosely and informally organized is why this cannot happen. There is no official furry body that can “kick someone out” of the furry fandom because you don’t have to belong to an organization to be a furry. Therefore, nothing can be done about these two furries, if, indeed, they did something at all. All the yelling on the Internet is a result of people’s frustration about not being able to act upon this.
Papabear believes there are some things we could do to clean up our image, if we wanted. Here are some suggestions:
Whether or not something unseemly happened at the New Jersey FurBQ, it is clear to this bear that more can and should be done about furry image paranoia, both in how outsiders feel about us and how we ourselves behave in public in front of outsiders. It goes both ways.
So, Anonymous, I hope that what I have written so far explains a bit why this was treated, right or wrong, as such a big deal.
It sounds to Papabear like you feel you can’t be open and express yourself within the furry community. I think you are not really correct on that point. Among furries, you can be yourself, I truly believe that and encourage you to do that. I also believe that, with more time, we will gradually get over our fear of the media and such. It is already happening to a certain degree, but it will take time and patience.
Hugs,
Papabear
The Furry Fandom Nightmare
Hi, I may not have a name for a Fursona and you may notice the words on top: "The Furry Fandom Nightmare" and yet this Question might not be meant to be public... But I may give it a shot. I am not very sure if this is a proper question, you do not have to post this or Answer, or both if you do not want to. Especially if this is a lot of misunderstanding info.. . .
Ever heard about the news about this furry meeting party (NJ FurBQ) that there was possibly a certain behavior going on there? When I saw "all" the fear and the report, I was like "What is the big deal? Even if its true, what’s with all the fear over it? People probably was not hurt." And a lot of people in the Furry Fandom acted all burned with there "Fandom is not like this" (The whole Fandom isn't but part of it might be.) "We need to ban all these people!" "They need to keep their mouths shut about there sexual lives!" "We need to remove all the stuff that could be "offensive"!" "Sick!" And all the evidence talk like if it was a bad crime. (It made it look like a crime scene!)
Its fear just because of fursuits I think. And all this crap I have seen for the past months going on. And I have to say: This is NOT how I picture a Open, Warming, Accepting Fandom. Ever sense the first time: I have never seen the fandom the same way for a long time.
I think I know, it’s mainly to avoid something about society, but I don't think its the answer and think society is the one that needs to be more open about sexuality so all this fighting going on will end in a more better way.
There was a lot of other crap I have seen, I don't want to explain all, its making this letter too long!
I don't even know if this is a proper question, but I am going to try to make it one and connect it with above:
The Question is, is the Furry Fandom ever going to be more TRULY open someday? Will people be able to be accepted Equal and not be forced to put expressions in private when yet, society gets to express thiers? Like I know people have a legal right, I think, but was wondering if in the future, all this fear and fighting wont come up after or something.
Whenever I see talks about stuff (Like that NJ FurBQ) and I see all this fear going on, I get scared so bad about the future. It might make a lot of others and maybe me to stay more in the closet while other Furries get to come out.
Maybe I miss understood something, but I kind of doubted it for this one.
Anonymous
* * *
Dear Anonymous Furry,
Your question provides Papabear with the opportunity to comment on the NJ FurBQ incident and everything to which it relates in the Fandom, so thank you.
A little background: the NJ FurBQ is held twice a year (Memorial Day and Labor Day) at the Twin “W” Rescue Squad (a charitable organization) facility in New Jersey. It’s somewhere between a large furmeet and a furcon, offering fursuiting facilities, games, a bar, live DJs, and outdoor grills for noms, of course.
Since Papabear was not at this FurBQ, I do not know what actually went on there (some furries claim it has been totally blown out of proportion, which I won’t deny as a possibility). For those of you who have been living under a rock and have not heard about it, supposedly what happened was that two fursuiters went off somewhere nearby and began yiffing (or, at least, passionately making out) in broad daylight. Some people, including park security, apparently, saw this and the shit hit the fan. The furry group involved has, rumors say, been banned from the facility (their website http://njfurbq.webs.com/ says nothing about it, so Papabear has no official word on the matter). There was a clip of the TV news story on YouTube, but it has been removed by the user for some reason.
The story, whether true or not, hit a raw nerve. Why? That, my furiends, is a long story. Here is how Papabear understands it from talking to a number of people over the years, starting with some history:
When the first big furcon, ConFurence 1990, was held in Costa Mesa, California, the organizers were concerned they would not get enough attendees, so they opened up the con to what were apparently some fairly sleazy people who were into some pretty kinky stuff (S&M, half-naked slaves on leashes, and such) and were not shy about showing off in public. The media got wind of this and the result was some negative publicity. Even though the next ConFurence considerably cleaned up its act, the damage had been done. Furries became increasingly shy and suspicious of the media after that. This was not helped by such things as the infamouse CSI episode “Fur and Loathing” http://www.csiseries.com/csi-season-4/csi-season-4-episode-5-fur-and-loathing/ which portrays furries only as people who like to have sex in fursuits. Here’s an interesting response to the video by a furry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRN7yPvUVhU.
The policy of many furcons has been to ban or restrict the media. Here is Uncle Kage, chief organizer of Anthrocon, at the 2011 Anthrocon talking about the subject of the media and furries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5HyMH7YXFM and http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_732134&v=OgVUzqw1LKc&src_vid=K5HyMH7YXFM&feature=iv. Kage asserts that furries are their own worst enemy, often embarassing themselves in front of the media, so it is best just not to talk to the media at all. He goes on to say we should refer to ourselves as people interested in cartoon animals (when talking to nonfurries) and to avoid describing ourselves by what we are not because that puts ideas in people’s heads (e.g. “We are not pedophiles” so people automatically have an image in their heads that we are pedophiles). Kage, as one can see from the video, is very suspicious of the media and feels that they will do anything to twist the story to make furries look like sex-obsessed deviants.
Kage’s idea that the media should be excluded from furry events as much as possible is a bit of overkill, although such views have moderated somewhat over the years (see http://www.anthrocon.org/rules-conduct#media). Papabear’s mate has worked in the media for nearly 40 years, and he advises that keeping furcon doors closed to the media just arouses suspicion that something nasty is going on. Papabear agrees with Kage that we should not describe ourselves by what we are not, but we should also not be ashamed of ourselves and try and hide.
Other cons also adopt policies that reveal how wary we are of the media. The FurtherConfusion official policy allows some restricted media access and also discourages con attendees from speaking to the media (http://www.furtherconfusion.org/2013/policies/press-policy); as another example, Midwest Furfest also requires media personnel to have a badge or they cannot conduct interviews or videotape anything (https://www.furfest.org/page/code). And Califur’s policy is even more restrictive: http://www.califur.com/2012/?page_id=127. To be fair, many conventions put restrictions on the media. Comic-con, for example, makes it very difficult to get a press pass. It is wide to not make a private convention into a free-for-all for the media, but an air of paranoia about TV and radio stations persists to this day.
While it is true that there is some negative stuff out there, here is evidence that the media is not “out to get us.” They might not get everything right, but the stories below are certainly not malicious:
- A KARE News 11 story about ConFurence 9 from 1997: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h2IkMXMJXs
- WSVN story http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImpL4odba4Q
- CBS story of FurtherConfusion 2010: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqNQPJwQEgI
- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette story on AC 2011 featuring Uncle Kage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pnJrRzDL_4
- G4TV.com coverage of Furry Weekend Atlanta: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_DHtM8p6uY
Also, the story in New Jersey (sorry I don’t have a link) was not all that negative, really. There are more stories out there, but that’s a good sample for you. Some, like G4TV, touch a bit on the kink, but certainly don’t obsess about it. It was not, by the way, difficult to find these more positive videos. Papabear believes it is high time we stop fearing the media so much.
Okay, so that covers the media issue fairly well, I believe. Now, back to your question, which was why can’t the fandom be more “open.” Papabear takes this to mean “why can’t we be more open about the sexual nature of furry?”
The answer is we can be a bit more open about it, but the problem lies in how we do it and how we handle society’s reaction to it. Papabear believes that, within the furry community, we are very accepting of our sexuality. Furries open their arms to people of all sexual orientations and practices. More than any other group of people, I feel that we are the least discriminating. Everyone is welcome, no matter the race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, or whatever.
But we live in a much broader society, one that is not always accepting of people, especially those who do not conform to what is considered “normal,” which, in America anyway, means heterosexual, non-kinky sex practiced by married couples in hushed tones behind closed doors and only for the purposes of procreation (boring). Overt sexuality makes many Americans uncomfortable unless that overt sexuality is used to sell cars or beer or movie tickets or Carl’s Jr. jalapeno patty melts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UGoVioteJk; then it is okay. To this bear’s mind, such attitudes about sex are twisted and neurotic in themselves, but that is what is accepted in this country.
So, back to the New Jersey incident. You seem to think that people have the “legal right” to do what these furries are rumored to have done. In fact, you would be wrong about that. Public indecency laws are common throughout the country. It is not legal for you, for example, to go naked in a public park, and having sex in, say, a public toilet is also against the law. So, it is not your legal right to behave in such a way.
The police had a right, therefore, to detain the two furries performing sexual acts in public (again, I’m not saying this happened for sure, but if it did, they could be arrested for it). Banning all furries from the park, if true, was an overreaction.
The reaction to the FurBQ news, and calls for “banning” the accused furries who were involved in the supposed indecent behavior, is not a call to restrict furry sexuality but rather to do something to curtail such foolish behavior, or at least punish those who are seen as giving furries a black eye.
That the furry fandom is so loosely and informally organized is why this cannot happen. There is no official furry body that can “kick someone out” of the furry fandom because you don’t have to belong to an organization to be a furry. Therefore, nothing can be done about these two furries, if, indeed, they did something at all. All the yelling on the Internet is a result of people’s frustration about not being able to act upon this.
Papabear believes there are some things we could do to clean up our image, if we wanted. Here are some suggestions:
- A big part of the problem is furporn on the Internet. Imagine yourself as a mundane who has just heard about furries and is curious as to what and who we are. You type in “furries” on Google and get a long hit result. On top of that list is the Wikipedia entry, which contains an entire section on furry sexuality, the Urban Dictionary of furry, which is a pretty kind treatment of furries, but which contains quite a bit on yiff (nice succinct point the UD makes: “Furries get a lot of crap thrown at them on the internet in relation to the activities of the minority of their fanbase. They have a reputation to reacting to this in an over the top manner [such as comparing their treatment to the Holocaust], which realy doesn't do them many favours.”) and such sites as GodHatesFurries.com within the top 10 hits. It gets worse if you go to any of the furry art sites, though, all of which make it amazingly easy to find pornography. This, I believe, is highly damaging to our reputation but also incredibly easy to fix: simply put all the adult stuff in age-restricted sections of the sites; doesn’t mean the sites have to charge for it, but it does make it less likely that people not looking for porn will stumble upon it and form a quick opinion of us.
- In the art rooms of furcons, they already have age-restricted areas for art that can be considered pornographic. The same treatment should be made for the Dealer Dens. That is, there should be a separate room for the porn and a separate room for non-porn.
- Cons should also issue badges that are clearly marked for attendees who are under 18. These attendees would be much easier to restrict from the mature areas of a con.
- Establish a formal body of some sort that can represent the furry community and deal directly with the media to correct the media on any misperceptions and misconceptions they may have (such as all furries are fursuiters and fursuiters enjoy fursuit sex—the vast majority do not). Right now, all we have is Uncle Kage. He tries his best, but he’s only one person. The formal body would provide news releases and announcements geared to dispel misinformation about furries.
Whether or not something unseemly happened at the New Jersey FurBQ, it is clear to this bear that more can and should be done about furry image paranoia, both in how outsiders feel about us and how we ourselves behave in public in front of outsiders. It goes both ways.
So, Anonymous, I hope that what I have written so far explains a bit why this was treated, right or wrong, as such a big deal.
It sounds to Papabear like you feel you can’t be open and express yourself within the furry community. I think you are not really correct on that point. Among furries, you can be yourself, I truly believe that and encourage you to do that. I also believe that, with more time, we will gradually get over our fear of the media and such. It is already happening to a certain degree, but it will take time and patience.
Hugs,
Papabear
Short film: ‘D.A.D.: Digital Amusement Device’
Author: Fred Are self-aware robots anthropomorphic? Hey, I think that I’ve asked th… [Ed.: !] Cartoon Brew has posted D.A.D.: Digital Amusement Device by Mark Osberg, a brief CGI film. In this short tale a father tries to encourage his son to overcome his fears and shows that even in this digital age that the [...]
Categories: News
My series
Would anyone be interested in watching a series about a family of furs set in modern day USA that are part of the fight for equality with the humans.
submitted by haladur[link] [22 comments]
Categories: News
‘My Little Pony’ fan erotica magazine tops $1000 at auction
Author: GreenReaper A copy of My Little Pony-themed erotica magazine Hoof Beat created by “popular furry artists” has been bid up to four figures at auction, with one day to go. Two regular FurBuy users ran the price up to $ 826 over two days before new bidders joined in. Another copy was recently sold [...]
Categories: News
Thanks /furry :)
Hey everyone. I just wanted to say that my life seems better since I accepted that I was a furry. I didn't want to accept it just because of the way a lot of people view it. Then I realized that I don't care... I'm still the same person but I feel like my life is just more fun because of the people and community. I spend time worrying about things that don't make life any better. But a nice change to that is spending time thinking about, reading about the fandom, as well as trying to learn how to draw. And I really Can only thank the entire fandom as a whole. This subreddit is great and filled with very amazing people. So again thanks for in a way making my life better.. :) Tl;dr thank you r/furry
submitted by treyten[link] [16 comments]
Categories: News
How to find more furs?
I'm trying to find more furs in my city. As far as I know it's just my boyfriend and I. There aren't any furs even within a state or so of me, according to the furfinder, and I was wondering:
What do you do to find more furs and arrange furmeets? I'd love to make more friends in my area and spend time goofing off with them without having to throw my hobby into the closet.
Would advertising pay off? Like posting fliers? And if so, where do you think furs would be likely to see them? I'm considering posting fliers at the nearest few libraries and crafts stores, but I don't know where else I could find furs.
Any advice would be appreciated.
submitted by xxxCAT[link] [9 comments]
Categories: News
Anyone willing do to some drawing?
Is there anyone out there that would be willing to draw me a character? I'm not going to bother typing a lot of details until I know some is willing. So if someone wouldn't mind being a good-fellow and draw me a nice character PM me or comment here :3
submitted by Pootwoot[link] [5 comments]
Categories: News
Dolphins Could Lead the Way out of a Troubled Life for this Furry
Dear Papabear,
It's hard to say where the beginning really is with all of this, but I could use some direction. To summarize the past couple years, I made the mistake of not finishing my education, and went straight into a tech support job. It paid well, and I lived well for a couple of years, but the job fell through in a way in which I can't go back. I sought out a different direction and moved in with someone I'd fallen in love with, but that fell through rather painfully and abruptly as well. I ended up with no money, a single local friend, no job prospects, on the opposite end of the country from my family and support system, utterly heartbroken. This was a little under a decade ago, and I'm still picking up the pieces.
I've managed to financially survive almost entirely on the love of my parents, and the pity of my friends. I'd held a few jobs for a few months, and moved in with my best friend from high school who is in the Navy. Unfortunately, after doing so, I was unable to find a job for a little over two years. Understandably, this has killed whatever confidence and self-respect I'd had, which I've always had a problem with. I have since found some seasonal employment, and work as a waiter at the moment, but I can barely make ends meet, and my mountain of debt continues to grow as I can't put anything into it. It's felt like I've been little more than a leech for the past decade.
Another constant stress is the fact that I'm Christian, I'm bi, and the person I'd fallen in love with and moved in with was another man. Unfortunately everywhere I seem to turn I am condemned for my "choice". Condemned for being bi by my fellow Christians, condemned for my Christianity by my fellow furries and much of the lgbt community. It pains me to see people waving signs of hatred toward each other and realizing I'm a member of both groups.
When things fell apart with the man I'd loved, I sought guidance from the Christian preachers and counselors around me, and the response was almost always "This is God punishing you for being romantically involved with another man." with the occasional "I don't think that's what God wants in your life." I've nearly stopped going to church by now, and never bring up my sexuality anymore with anyone connected to the church, though I try to live by the tenets of compassion, generosity, and forgiveness that I've been taught. The main problem with this is that my roommate is a homophobe, so I do my best to keep him from recognizing my sexuality. I know he'd try to accept it, but I don't think he has it in him to do so. I'm constantly terrified that he'll find out, and be so uncomfortable with it that he'll tell me we can't be roommates anymore. I have no other real options for where to live right now. To top it all off, my father passed away recently, and my mother is preparing to move into a retirement home. The pain of losing him still brings me to tears from time to time, and I'm horrified to realize that it essentially means I can't even move back in with my mother as she can barely support herself right now. I'm stuck here, and I have to make it work.
If there is a silver lining in all of this, it's that the seasonal work I'd done was with Sea World, and it's awakened a passion within me for training dolphins. I'm just a scuba certification away from being qualified to be one, though I'm far from the ideal applicant. Still, being at the side of the pool, seeing my dolphin 'friends' pick me out of a crowd, come up to greet me and play with me, and sharing that experience with the people around me, has become my greatest source of sanity and comfort I've known. I know that I have a long and difficult road to becoming a trainer, and that the chances are slim that I'll be able to pull it off at all, but I know that every trainer there faced the same odds, the same problems (and sometimes worse) that I face, and didn't back down. That inspires me to continue down that path.
I guess to summarize again, I have a mountain of debt, no education, limited real world skills, am terrified that my sexuality will become public, and lack any confidence in my own ability to make any of it work. I'm not sure what I can contribute to this world, if I even can at all. I could just use some tools to help me muddle through all of this and try to make some sense of it, and some encouragement that following this dream of mine is worthwhile. I'd love the support of people who've gone through something similar to what I've been through, and I'm sure there are hundreds of similar stories among the fandom and lgbt community. Some connection with a religious group that doesn't condemn my sexuality would also be wonderful. I've started some volunteer work with a wildlife rehabilitation group, which not only will help me feel like I'm contributing to this world, but also hopefully help me make some connections in the animal care and training circles. Mostly I need hope, and someone who can tell me "You have it in you to do this, keep going." I'm tired of hearing the opposite echoing through my head all the damn time.
Thank you for your time,
Twilight
* * *
Dear Twilight,
I am sorry for your difficulties, but you, unlike many furries who write to me, have a beautiful possibility in your life.
Twilight—for the love of all that is good and right in the universe, Papabear encourages you to do EVERYTHING you can to finish your training so that you can work at Sea World as a dolphin trainer. What a wonderful thing that would be!!! I must confess, I’m a little jealous of you :-) You have an amazing opportunity here!
What you need to do now is focus on one thing at a time. When a person feels overwhelmed by a laundry list of troubles (money, love, family, job, school, friends etc. etc.) you become paralyzed. It is too much to handle all at once, so what people tend to do is freeze and do nothing, like a small animal trapped in a corner surrounded by predators.
You may find, though, that if you start fixing one part of your life, other parts will follow. Let us say that everything goes well at Sea World. You get your SCUBA certification and you get hired as a full-time dolphin trainer. As you work on this (and I would devote myself heart and soul to a job like that, if I were you, and I think you’d agree), then, eventually, you will find your money worries starting to ease. You would gain self-respect and confidence because you are doing such a positive thing in your life.
Once you start feeling better about yourself, you will begin to realize that people like those so-called Christians don’t know what the f--- they are talking about. They are just haters. Haters suck, especially those that don the holier-than-thou robes of the self-righteous. Ignore them. You have value, you have worth.
Same goes for those who try to make you feel bad or discriminate against you for your sexuality. If they can’t deal with who you are, too bad for them. They are missing out on the opportunity to know a good person in their lives. As Papabear always says, distance yourself for the haters and negative people in your life, and find people in your life who will love and support you. This is an ongoing process and takes time, but there are plenty of people out there who would be happy to know a cool dolphin trainer who happens to be bi. I know I would.
As for your sorrow losing your father, well, Papabear is sorry for that. We have all lost loved ones in our lives, and there is nothing much that can be said. You will have your time of mourning, but, again, you need to continue with your life and find new joys in the future. The pain will ease somewhat, but your life can remain rich having known the love of your father.
Bear Hugs,
Papabear
* * *
Dear Papabear,
I want to thank you for you kind words. I will admit to feeling uneasy as I read them, as I often do when I get compliments. Even now, facing this again, I find myself sitting slightly numb in front of the computer, wanting to switch windows or not type at all. But I know that you meant them from the heart, and so I will honor that by allowing them to sink in. It is indeed such a wonderful possibility before me, and in the light of that, the other parts don't quite seem so bad. This does not mean, of course, that I should be frivolous with my money or that it's the most appropriate time to 'come out'; my time on the other side of the country has taught me to be careful with my plans. It does mean, though, that I have something to look forward to. I'm not just trying to make myself feel better with escapist dreams of training dolphins, it is a goal that I will not give up on. It is a worthy goal.
I will focus on one thing at a time, yes. Scuba certification, and fill my time working on being a better swimmer. So, yeah, y'know, two things, but still... ;3 I actually had my first true volunteer shift working with animals yesterday, and got to feed some fledgling swallows, mockingbirds, and finches by hand. I caught myself feeling down earlier in the week, thinking that it was a silly dream that I wouldn't follow through with, until I started listing what I've done, and the path I'm on. I've never volunteered before, now I'm volunteering with animals. I'm taking a break from my weekly outings to save up for the certification. I'm studying the psychology and lingo of training in my spare time. Every action is a step closer. And, if you would like, I would be happy to share the milestones with you. You've certainly helped so far.
I will also admit that I find it hard to condemn people, even the ones who condemn me. I can't just dismiss them or ignore them; in fact, I feel bad for them. They're people who are making a mistake, and as hard-headed as they may be in stubbornly clinging to that mistake, there is the potential for them to see the errors of their ways, and for them to heal the pain that they cause. Maybe I just have a soft heart, or watched too many Hallmark Christmas specials, but when part of me thinks "These people cannot truly be saved, they don't even want to be," another part of me is saying "No, you're the one giving up on them. You can't do that. There are people who never give up on you." Ironically, I think its my own Christian upbringing that instills that in me, the desire to forgive the same Christians that condemn me for my sexuality. Maybe you can offer a bit of insight on this, as I seem to be a bit stuck at that part. I won't dismiss them, but I feel like I can't change it either, so I feel stuck just taking their anger, and I know that can't be healthy. It feels like there's some simple step here that I'm missing, some basic principle I can't quite reach because I'm stuck feeling sorry for myself, and I'd really like to reach that next step. I'm just not sure what it is.
In closing, I may splurge a bit, either once I've attained my certification or just before, and pick up something from Sea World. A small figurine, snow globe, or perhaps a necklace pendant. Something I can look at and say "I've found my bravery, my strength, and my resolve." Thank you, Papabear, for helping me to find it.
Sincerely,
Twilight
* * *
Dear Twilight,
I'm so glad to help. Again, don't worry about everything at once, but focus as much as possible on your work with dolphins. Also, talk to your bosses there and ask them for guidance. Tell them what your goals are and ask them how you can best achieve them.
As for the negative people in your life, Papabear may have been too dramatic. You don't necessarily have to cut them out of your life, and you don't have to stop loving them or having sympathy for them. What I was trying to say is that they are doing you psychological and spiritual harm, and your first priority at this time in your life needs to be protecting yourself and your sanity so that you can be a healthier person. Only then can you have the strength to then turn around and help others. It is like those safety drills they do on airplanes before a flight when they tell you that if the oxygen masks drop you FIRST put on your mask before assisting others. Same deal.
I wish you luck and love,
Papabear
It's hard to say where the beginning really is with all of this, but I could use some direction. To summarize the past couple years, I made the mistake of not finishing my education, and went straight into a tech support job. It paid well, and I lived well for a couple of years, but the job fell through in a way in which I can't go back. I sought out a different direction and moved in with someone I'd fallen in love with, but that fell through rather painfully and abruptly as well. I ended up with no money, a single local friend, no job prospects, on the opposite end of the country from my family and support system, utterly heartbroken. This was a little under a decade ago, and I'm still picking up the pieces.
I've managed to financially survive almost entirely on the love of my parents, and the pity of my friends. I'd held a few jobs for a few months, and moved in with my best friend from high school who is in the Navy. Unfortunately, after doing so, I was unable to find a job for a little over two years. Understandably, this has killed whatever confidence and self-respect I'd had, which I've always had a problem with. I have since found some seasonal employment, and work as a waiter at the moment, but I can barely make ends meet, and my mountain of debt continues to grow as I can't put anything into it. It's felt like I've been little more than a leech for the past decade.
Another constant stress is the fact that I'm Christian, I'm bi, and the person I'd fallen in love with and moved in with was another man. Unfortunately everywhere I seem to turn I am condemned for my "choice". Condemned for being bi by my fellow Christians, condemned for my Christianity by my fellow furries and much of the lgbt community. It pains me to see people waving signs of hatred toward each other and realizing I'm a member of both groups.
When things fell apart with the man I'd loved, I sought guidance from the Christian preachers and counselors around me, and the response was almost always "This is God punishing you for being romantically involved with another man." with the occasional "I don't think that's what God wants in your life." I've nearly stopped going to church by now, and never bring up my sexuality anymore with anyone connected to the church, though I try to live by the tenets of compassion, generosity, and forgiveness that I've been taught. The main problem with this is that my roommate is a homophobe, so I do my best to keep him from recognizing my sexuality. I know he'd try to accept it, but I don't think he has it in him to do so. I'm constantly terrified that he'll find out, and be so uncomfortable with it that he'll tell me we can't be roommates anymore. I have no other real options for where to live right now. To top it all off, my father passed away recently, and my mother is preparing to move into a retirement home. The pain of losing him still brings me to tears from time to time, and I'm horrified to realize that it essentially means I can't even move back in with my mother as she can barely support herself right now. I'm stuck here, and I have to make it work.
If there is a silver lining in all of this, it's that the seasonal work I'd done was with Sea World, and it's awakened a passion within me for training dolphins. I'm just a scuba certification away from being qualified to be one, though I'm far from the ideal applicant. Still, being at the side of the pool, seeing my dolphin 'friends' pick me out of a crowd, come up to greet me and play with me, and sharing that experience with the people around me, has become my greatest source of sanity and comfort I've known. I know that I have a long and difficult road to becoming a trainer, and that the chances are slim that I'll be able to pull it off at all, but I know that every trainer there faced the same odds, the same problems (and sometimes worse) that I face, and didn't back down. That inspires me to continue down that path.
I guess to summarize again, I have a mountain of debt, no education, limited real world skills, am terrified that my sexuality will become public, and lack any confidence in my own ability to make any of it work. I'm not sure what I can contribute to this world, if I even can at all. I could just use some tools to help me muddle through all of this and try to make some sense of it, and some encouragement that following this dream of mine is worthwhile. I'd love the support of people who've gone through something similar to what I've been through, and I'm sure there are hundreds of similar stories among the fandom and lgbt community. Some connection with a religious group that doesn't condemn my sexuality would also be wonderful. I've started some volunteer work with a wildlife rehabilitation group, which not only will help me feel like I'm contributing to this world, but also hopefully help me make some connections in the animal care and training circles. Mostly I need hope, and someone who can tell me "You have it in you to do this, keep going." I'm tired of hearing the opposite echoing through my head all the damn time.
Thank you for your time,
Twilight
* * *
Dear Twilight,
I am sorry for your difficulties, but you, unlike many furries who write to me, have a beautiful possibility in your life.
Twilight—for the love of all that is good and right in the universe, Papabear encourages you to do EVERYTHING you can to finish your training so that you can work at Sea World as a dolphin trainer. What a wonderful thing that would be!!! I must confess, I’m a little jealous of you :-) You have an amazing opportunity here!
What you need to do now is focus on one thing at a time. When a person feels overwhelmed by a laundry list of troubles (money, love, family, job, school, friends etc. etc.) you become paralyzed. It is too much to handle all at once, so what people tend to do is freeze and do nothing, like a small animal trapped in a corner surrounded by predators.
You may find, though, that if you start fixing one part of your life, other parts will follow. Let us say that everything goes well at Sea World. You get your SCUBA certification and you get hired as a full-time dolphin trainer. As you work on this (and I would devote myself heart and soul to a job like that, if I were you, and I think you’d agree), then, eventually, you will find your money worries starting to ease. You would gain self-respect and confidence because you are doing such a positive thing in your life.
Once you start feeling better about yourself, you will begin to realize that people like those so-called Christians don’t know what the f--- they are talking about. They are just haters. Haters suck, especially those that don the holier-than-thou robes of the self-righteous. Ignore them. You have value, you have worth.
Same goes for those who try to make you feel bad or discriminate against you for your sexuality. If they can’t deal with who you are, too bad for them. They are missing out on the opportunity to know a good person in their lives. As Papabear always says, distance yourself for the haters and negative people in your life, and find people in your life who will love and support you. This is an ongoing process and takes time, but there are plenty of people out there who would be happy to know a cool dolphin trainer who happens to be bi. I know I would.
As for your sorrow losing your father, well, Papabear is sorry for that. We have all lost loved ones in our lives, and there is nothing much that can be said. You will have your time of mourning, but, again, you need to continue with your life and find new joys in the future. The pain will ease somewhat, but your life can remain rich having known the love of your father.
Bear Hugs,
Papabear
* * *
Dear Papabear,
I want to thank you for you kind words. I will admit to feeling uneasy as I read them, as I often do when I get compliments. Even now, facing this again, I find myself sitting slightly numb in front of the computer, wanting to switch windows or not type at all. But I know that you meant them from the heart, and so I will honor that by allowing them to sink in. It is indeed such a wonderful possibility before me, and in the light of that, the other parts don't quite seem so bad. This does not mean, of course, that I should be frivolous with my money or that it's the most appropriate time to 'come out'; my time on the other side of the country has taught me to be careful with my plans. It does mean, though, that I have something to look forward to. I'm not just trying to make myself feel better with escapist dreams of training dolphins, it is a goal that I will not give up on. It is a worthy goal.
I will focus on one thing at a time, yes. Scuba certification, and fill my time working on being a better swimmer. So, yeah, y'know, two things, but still... ;3 I actually had my first true volunteer shift working with animals yesterday, and got to feed some fledgling swallows, mockingbirds, and finches by hand. I caught myself feeling down earlier in the week, thinking that it was a silly dream that I wouldn't follow through with, until I started listing what I've done, and the path I'm on. I've never volunteered before, now I'm volunteering with animals. I'm taking a break from my weekly outings to save up for the certification. I'm studying the psychology and lingo of training in my spare time. Every action is a step closer. And, if you would like, I would be happy to share the milestones with you. You've certainly helped so far.
I will also admit that I find it hard to condemn people, even the ones who condemn me. I can't just dismiss them or ignore them; in fact, I feel bad for them. They're people who are making a mistake, and as hard-headed as they may be in stubbornly clinging to that mistake, there is the potential for them to see the errors of their ways, and for them to heal the pain that they cause. Maybe I just have a soft heart, or watched too many Hallmark Christmas specials, but when part of me thinks "These people cannot truly be saved, they don't even want to be," another part of me is saying "No, you're the one giving up on them. You can't do that. There are people who never give up on you." Ironically, I think its my own Christian upbringing that instills that in me, the desire to forgive the same Christians that condemn me for my sexuality. Maybe you can offer a bit of insight on this, as I seem to be a bit stuck at that part. I won't dismiss them, but I feel like I can't change it either, so I feel stuck just taking their anger, and I know that can't be healthy. It feels like there's some simple step here that I'm missing, some basic principle I can't quite reach because I'm stuck feeling sorry for myself, and I'd really like to reach that next step. I'm just not sure what it is.
In closing, I may splurge a bit, either once I've attained my certification or just before, and pick up something from Sea World. A small figurine, snow globe, or perhaps a necklace pendant. Something I can look at and say "I've found my bravery, my strength, and my resolve." Thank you, Papabear, for helping me to find it.
Sincerely,
Twilight
* * *
Dear Twilight,
I'm so glad to help. Again, don't worry about everything at once, but focus as much as possible on your work with dolphins. Also, talk to your bosses there and ask them for guidance. Tell them what your goals are and ask them how you can best achieve them.
As for the negative people in your life, Papabear may have been too dramatic. You don't necessarily have to cut them out of your life, and you don't have to stop loving them or having sympathy for them. What I was trying to say is that they are doing you psychological and spiritual harm, and your first priority at this time in your life needs to be protecting yourself and your sanity so that you can be a healthier person. Only then can you have the strength to then turn around and help others. It is like those safety drills they do on airplanes before a flight when they tell you that if the oxygen masks drop you FIRST put on your mask before assisting others. Same deal.
I wish you luck and love,
Papabear
anyone want to help a fur out?
im piss broke, and cannot afford anyone to draw my and my mate. and i thought to myself why not ask reddit? and was wondering if anyfur would be awesome enough to draw my fursona, with my mate? im a 6ft male black fox with a blood red stomach and tail, my hair is white with black streaks in it, my paws glow green and i have a slipknot 9 pointed star on my right arm and the skrillex symbol on my left. and my mate is a female generic fox and is 5ft8in. thank you^
submitted by tyris_the_fox[link] [2 comments]
Categories: News
Promo video I did for a local Furcon I made. I'd love some feedback, I spent a lot of time on this~
![[link]](http://img.izismile.com/img/img5/20120702/640/manimals_tshirts_are_just_what_you_need_640_24.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/wWQw6.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/SDMom.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/yZhK3.jpg){kind=link}
Categories: News
He’s Here to Rock Your Pizza!
It’s an all-new rodent! CEC Entertainment Inc, owners of the Chuck E. Cheese line of pizza restaurant/arcades, have announced a total make-over for the company’s mascot. Gone is the portly circus ringleader (and gone, at least in TV commercials, is Chuck E’s voice of 20 years, Duncan Brannan). In his place is a new slimmed-down Chuck E. in a t-shirt and jeans, sporting a Gibson Les Paul Guitar! The new Chuck E is voiced in ads by Jaret Reddick, lead singer for the pop-punk band Bowling for Soup (well-known for their song “1985″). ScreenMag.com has the first ad from the new campaign up on their web site. Trivia bit for you: Did you know that Chuck E. Cheese’s pizza restaurant chain was founded by Nolan Bushnell — who also founded Atari?
image c. 2012 CEC Entertainment
Categories: News
What Exactly Are “Plushies” And “Furries”?
http://eroticadsnews.com/2012/06/what-exactly-are-plushies-and-furries/
With the new movie Ted coming out, both Plushie and Furrie communities has a new hero, but what exactly are Plushies and Furries? Keep reading and get the inside scoop on the stuffed animal adoring groups of kinky people.
The difference between “Plushies” And “Furries”
There is a big difference between Plushies and Furries. A Plushie fetish is someone who likes to…well, have sex with a plush stuffed animal. Men will often buy specially made stuffed animals that come with vagina and anus like holes (strategically placed holes) sewn into the plush play thing.
Women may use plush toys sexually by humping them or by attaching strap on dildos to the toys and riding them. Men or women sometimes also enjoy having sex with other people dressed up in mascot outfits that make them look like giant plush toys.
Although people not belonging to the Furrie community may feel a bit grossed out by Plushies, really it’s a fairly benign fetish. It’s simply masturbation with a different form of sex toy, or role playing with larger outfits.
“Furries” are different from “Plushies”.
Furries differ from Plushes in multiple ways. The biggest being that they are very animal focussed. They aren’t interested in having sex with plush toys, rather they want to be, or be “romantic” with erotic animal human hybrids.
No judgment from me, but there is a bit of a gross out factor because of the animal eroticizing that goes along with this fetish. There’s a whole style of cartoon art which depicts animals with human sexual features (breasts, hips, sex organs) that is a bit disconcerting for those of us who don’t share the fetish. There’s also talk that some Furries engage in beastiality (sex with animals). This is just rumor, but unfortunately that makes this fetish just a bit more high risk.
A word on those with a fetish.
Nobody wakes up one day and decides that they want to have a Plushie fetish or a breast feeding fetish. It’s something that simply gets wired into a person’s brain during their sexual development. As long as a person’s kink doesn’t involve illegal activities, they should be free to do what they want. After all, that’s the benefit of being an adult.
Categories: News