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submitted by Redalert337
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submitted by Redalert337
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submitted by Krail
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submitted by Zhivagooo
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Dear Papa Bear,

I've been seeing this guy, we haven't met in real life yet, but I've been with him online for a year now and he plans to come visit next summer. He is about 19 years older than me, and I'm pretty sure he isn't lying about his age. We've talked on the phone a few times, and sent pictures to each other of ourselves. He keeps trying to change himself for me, and it made me think, "What if he's a predator that just wants sex?"

He has all the qualities of a predator, Lonely for a while, changes themselves for you, sends gifts, wants to meet you, etc. If he is a predator, do you think he'd tell me if I asked, and if he isn’t/doesn't tell me, should I stay with him anyway?

Sincerely,
Gilatto 

P.S. my fur-name is Gilatto for comedic purposes, has nothing to do with real life stuff.

* * *

Dear Gilatto,

“Um, excuse me, mister, but are you a sexual predator?”

“Why, yes. Yes I am, young man, and I am here to rape you.”

Are you kidding me? I’m sorry for the snarkiness, Gilatto, but if you think about it, wasn’t that a rather silly question you posed? Of course he is not going to tell you if he is a sexual predator. And, on the other hand, if he isn’t and is genuinely interested in you as a person, asking him such a question would be a real mood killer.

Papabear has a lot of faith in instinct and has come across a question or two similar to this in the past in which someone had a feeling there was something wrong with the person interested in them. To this I say, “Trust your gut.”

The value of instinct is undervalued in our modern culture, but, despite the fact that humans have tried to distance themselves from their animal qualities, we still have some of that instinct and right now it is telling you to stay away from this guy.

It’s not so much the factor that he is almost two decades older than you (though that isn’t so hot), but rather what you say about his buying you gifts and “changing himself” to be more appealing to you. Papabear thinks you are right that those are red flags that something is up.

Other signs that he could be a predator include always agreeing with what you say, being extremely interested in sex talk (duh, but I know a lot of furries do online yiff and might think nothing of this), he has asked for naked pictures of you, he seems eager to please you, he is very interested in finding out where you live and wants to meet you alone.

This could be a very dangerous situation, Gilatto. A guy like this might be after more than just sex—he could be lethal. Stay away from him, please. And, if you are still unsure, talk to your parents about it.

Be safe,

Papabear 

submitted by triscut900
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submitted by N4N4KI
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submitted by BruiserFox
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Minecraft enthusiasts will be happy to know that Skin Pack 2 is upon us! The second skin-filled package comes with 45 skins from various other Microsoft games and Indie titles. There are even a few furry highlights and surprises! You can play as a sheep or pig, or as Horstachio, Fizzlybear, or Pretztail from Viva Pinata. For the full list, check out the full article and list below:

 

submitted by mlpcontext
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submitted by DanielTaylor
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Believe it or not, Roo and Tugs convinced three women to come to our recording studios and answer questions. How do they feel as women in the fandom? Are women really the minority? Do desperate men cling to them? In gender as big a deal today as it was in the past? Our burning questions are answered here and are officially on the record for everyone to see. Don't miss our RMFC shoutouts at the end of the episode!



NOW LISTEN!

SHOW NOTES

Special Thanks

YOU! Thank you for listening to our little show. We really mean it every single time we say it! Thank you!
Our show guests: Happy, Gina, and Mystic.
Our emailer: Shyloh!
Gina, Lazer, SK, and Kadj for RMFC shoutouts! (If you recorded one and it isn't here, don't worry! It's being saved for a special future episode.)

 

Music & Breaks

Opening theme: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Radio Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission.  (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Interview Opening: Shania Twain - Man! I Feel Like a Woman!. Nashville, TN and New York City, NY: Mercury Nashville, 1997. Licensed by ASCAP.
Furst and First World Problems Theme: Kenny G - Heart and Soul. USA: Concord Records, 2010. Licensed by ASCAP.
Interview Bumper 2: Breathe Carolina - Blackout. USA: Columbia/Fearless, 2011. Licensed by ASCAP.
Break 2: Kevin MacLeod - Heartwarming. Licensed under Creative Commons Share Alike.
Closing segment music: Incubus – Aqueous Transmission. Malibu, CA: EMI April Music Inc, 2001. Licensed by ASCAP.
Con Shout Outs: Junkie XL - Love Park. USA: Electronic Arts Music Publishing/Nettwerk, 2007. Licensed by ASCAP.
Closing: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Chill Out Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)


Creative Commons Attributions

News Theme 1 by Ithaca Audio Ltd is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
News Theme 3 by Ithaca Audio Ltd is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.

 

Next episode:

Our next episode is the oft-requested Video Games and Furries 1! Send us your comments about who your favorite furry game character is, special memories, and more. Cast@furwhatitsworth.com. S2 Episode 11 – WTF?! There’s Women in the Fandom? - Believe it or not, Roo and Tugs convinced three women to come to our recording studios and answer questions. How do they feel as women in the fandom? Are women really the minority? Do desperate men clin

submitted by allthefoxes
[link] [17 comments]

If anyone is interested I am open for commissions again. Prices are listed in the description of the link, shipping included. Badges come laminated and punched. The example here is of my character. Hope you enjoy c: Hey, apparently the link isn't working? http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8728074/ Boop!

submitted by wild-lion
[link] [3 comments]

submitted by Navakira
[link] [1 comment]

submitted by Ziaki
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submitted by Panthargon
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submitted by jorticus
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I've been keeping a bit of a "visual" journal. It's in comic form, and this is one of the panels I'm most proud of. My handwriting isn't the best, and I'm definitely still a novice when it comes to the whole "art" thing. Though, I figure, with practice I can't get much worse.

submitted by aMuffin
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Dear Papabear,

I honestly don’t even know where to begin with this and I’ve never written to any kind of advice column before, but the advice you seem to give is sound and good so I thought I would get your take on this situation.

I’m very angry and this scares me. Wait let me back up, I’m angry with my father and I really don’t know what to do about it. He left me and my mother recently and in the divorce process I found out some things about him and the relationship I thought we had that really just churn my stomach into bile. He was a pretty decent dad until I was about nine years old and then he just kind of became an absent presence in my life. I never saw him, he never came to my functions, and he would actively avoid conversation. He even abandoned me during our family vacation to meet up with some kind of booty call at a hotel, leaving me alone at a baseball stadium for hours after the game was over. I was 10 at the time (At the time my mom almost divorced him but...silver tongue apologies go a long way I guess. He claimed he was called to work and his brother was supposed to be picking me up so she ended up never calling the lawyer).

I’ve found out that this is all because he was living with a separate family for years (my father was not married to the other woman, just living with her for about 10 years). He had been lying and telling people that he was divorced from my mom when they were still together and spending all his time with a second daughter that I knew nothing about. Now I know and I see him doing all these things with her that he never did with me. Every time he calls or I see him with his family I am filled with such a scary black hate that I can’t even see straight. 

If that wasn't enough his second family is often actively out to hurt me. The daughter has already tried to run me off the road in her car once and the mother sends death threats to me and my mother and called me…well…the c-word which I don’t feel comfortable repeating. I brought this up to my father and he called me a lying dyke.

I’m worried that he left my mom because I came out of the closet and that just makes me feel even angrier. I've tried so hard to be a good daughter my whole life, got the best grades and awards in school, graduated from college with a 3.5 average, and it all goes out the window because I like girls. I’ve tried to talk to my friends but they usually just say something along the lines of “You’re 20 are you really going to act like a 5 year old about your mommy and daddy getting a divorce?”

What this all boils down to is this. How do I get rid of this anger so that I can move on with my life?

Hoping for advice,
Nikki Paranoia

* * *

Hi, Nikki,

First thing’s first: do not blame yourself for your parents’ divorce.  Your notion that it is your fault because you are homosexual is a misguided attempt to rationalize what has happened—an idea probably stemming from your struggle to understand why he treats you so poorly. Papabear would bet $1,000 bucks right now that he treated your mother and you badly because, not to put too fine a point on it, he’s a giant ass. He lied to your mother, you, his new woman and her daughter, criminally abandoned a child, and called you a c---. This man is unfit for the noble title of “father.”

Secondly, friends who blow you off as acting like a five year old because you are upset by your father’s actions and how he has destroyed your family are unsympathetic and incredibly shallow. Real friends would give you a shoulder to cry on and listen to your story. Everyone needs friends in their life for emotional suport, and you deserve that, too.

Next, if this other woman is sending death threats to your mother and her daughter is literally trying to kill you, you need to record and gather evidence of this and present it to a lawyer and possibly the police. (Do you live in such proximity that you see each other a lot? You should try and avoid them, if possible). When either the other woman or her daughter try to do you harm, inform them that you are keeping records of their actions and talking to an attorney about it. Keep recording devices handy, as well as a notepad. In this respect, Papabear would wager your father is feeding them lies about how evil you and your mom are so that they will hate you. Did any of this stuff come out in the divorce? I certainly hope your mother got a good divorce settlement in her favor after all this nonsense from your father.

Okay, now on to the anger. Nikki, you have every right to feel angry about what has happened to you and your mom. Only a crazy person would NOT be angry. Papabear has felt this sort of anger himself to the point of literally seeing red. The good thing is that both you and I have bones in our heads that prevent us from taking it to the next, violent level. Papabear is extremely proud of you for, instead, reaching out to people to talk about the situation and your feelings. Also proud of you for doing well in school and maintaining your grip on priorities.

So, to reiterate a bit: to get over your anger you need to not blame yourself for what has happened. It has nothing to do with your being a lesbian and everything to do with your dad being a jerk. My guess, if I had a chance to talk with you some more about it, would be that your father became sexually less satisfied with your mother (bored or saw crow’s feet or whatever) and moved on to a younger woman was willing to spread her legs more, but I’m just speculating.

Hating your father is natural, but that hatred is not going to change him from being who he is and will only end up hurting you by consuming you with destructive emotions, including the jealousy you feel for the daughter of the woman he left your mom for.

The cause of your misery is twofold: frustration that what you want your life to be and what it really is do not match up, and misdirected guilt about being a lesbian. You need to come to terms with being a lesbian. That is something you simply are and is nothing to be ashamed of. And you need to learn to accept that your father is not a person who is worth your time and effort. As Papabear has said before, you sometimes need to cut people out of your life to protect your own sanity, and your father is one of those. The energy you save from not troubling yourself with your father can be redirected toward supporting and loving your mother and focusing on your own future.

Doing the above is not easy, and you will likely feel anger for many more years, but you can work on lessening that anger month by month and year by year. Forgive yourself for the anger, put the blame where it belongs (your father), and then you will be able to look toward the future. Once you focus on the road ahead, you will become less preoccupied with the past and it will hurt less.

Bear Hugs,

Papabear