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Furry Reddit - Fri 19 Oct 2012 - 13:28
Categories: News

Long-Distance "Relationship" Is a Role-playing Mismatch

Ask Papabear - Fri 19 Oct 2012 - 10:53
Hey Papabear,

I've been having a bit of an issue with a long distance relationship that I'm in with my mate... and while I've tried to piece out whether I'm really just being paranoid or if there really is a problem, the responses I've gotten from my friends and family have been very variable and inconsistent with each other.... so... in an attempt at yet another position, I think an outside source might be the right answer.

I've been in the LDR for quite a few months now, and only fairly recently, my mate lost his job... and from my perspective, that's when all the problems started. Now, he spends most of his time role playing in an MMO, and upon bringing up that I'd like to be acknowledged a little bit more and be able to spend more time with him, small tiffs have come about between me and him. I play the same MMO as him, and we have spent a good deal of time in it, but due to a statement I made at the beginning of our relationship about how I don't prefer RPing myself, he now feels uncomfortable to RP with me, feeling he's forcing me.

He's made a good friend through his RPing, whom he spends almost all the time RPing with when he's not doing a dungeon with him. I've brought up my concern regarding him spending so much time with the other guy, but he's come back saying I don't trust him..... which I do.... dearly.

I've tried bringing it up directly with him, and each time an argument comes about and it feels like my voice and opinion isn't being taken to heart.... but I care about him too much to leave him or to do anything that might result in him not feeling comfortable and leaving himself.

I thought, after one of my friends told me I should just stop caring that he's spending a far more significant time with this stranger than with me, his mate (since the plan is for him to move in with me... hopefully soon), that I would, in an attempt of good will, introduce myself to his friend as his mate and that I appreciated him making my mate happy, because I do. But the next day, I received a message from my mate that this friend felt awkward by the message I sent and no longer wanted to RP with him... which caused him to get pretty angry at me (and I did attempt to mend the damage by sending a new message to his friend clarifying where the message came from... which has been resolved)... but I'm finding it really hard to cope with my mate roleplaying with others, because a side of me feels like the people he is RPing with, could be hitting on or flirting with him.... and in the past, I've lost a mate because he found someone else a better match through an RP (so I wouldn't blame me for these feelings).

I guess my question would be.... am I being overly paranoid and untrusting? He says the roleplaying he does is harmless playful fun... but one of the times I watched from a distance to see what was actually happening, I had a deep feeling the friend (as mentioned earlier) was kind of hitting on my mate.... and the problem is that he doesn't really bring up that he's mated.... which makes me think people may try to get with him......or that he wants to "explore other options". :\ 

He tells me I'm not trusting him.... friends tell me he's acting very shady (since he's not told even his closest friends he's with me).... other friends tell me to stop worrying and ride it out.... family has their own feelings about it.... I just don't know what to do anymore, and this whole thing is emotionally thrashing, which has been causes other issues with people who come in contact with me (family, work, friends)

Truth be told.... he's shown a lot of love in many places ... 2 commissions so far, used to talk on the phone a lot.... but its very inconsistent... like... he does these things.... then days go by where I'm being neglected..... and the neglect has only increased significantly more since the loss of his job.

Thanks for whatever advice you can give to this unfortunately Paranoid Puppy. :)

* * *

Dear Paranoid,

I’ve said it before and will do so again: a long-distance relationship in which there is no actual physical contact of any sort is not a relationship. Your virtual relationship, as I will call it, is therefore, on an equal par with the RPing your “boyfriend” is doing with the other guys online.

He is clearly spending more time with the other guy than he is with you, neglecting you for long periods by not calling you, getting defensive about your “not trusting him,” and not even telling other people that he has a “relationship” of any kind with you.

Are you paranoid? No. You would have to have a brain tumor eating out the left side of your brain not to suspect that this guy is no longer really serious about you.

You believe that doing a couple of commissions for you is love? Oh, hon, you make this bear cry. It makes me sad that you feel so in need of a boyfriend that you have apparently lost sight of your self-respect.

Papabear would be flabbergasted if this guy actually kept his promise and moved in with you. Waiting for that to happen is going to be like waiting for Godot.

Please wake up and find yourself a real boyfriend. Someone you can actually hug in person, and someone who won’t treat you like an afterthought.

I wish you love,

Papabear

"Flowers"

Furry Reddit - Fri 19 Oct 2012 - 00:57

It doesn't really focus too much on the furry, but heck, I'll put it here.

http://i.imgur.com/Wcv4o.jpg

Alternate titles include "Giant Mechanical Drilling Thing that kinda looks like a flower."...

submitted by The_Herrenvolk
[link] [2 comments]
Categories: News

Review: ‘Windrusher and the Trail of Fire’, by Victor DiGenti

Furry News Network - Fri 19 Oct 2012 - 00:24
Author: Fred When I reviewed Windrusher and Windrusher and the Cave of Tho-Hoth for Anthro #9, January-February 2007, I did not realize that they were the first two novels of a trilogy. Windrusher and the Trail of Fire was published a year and a half later, but I only found out about it recently. Better late [...]
Categories: News

L.E.F. (Loud Electric Furry)

Furry Reddit - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 23:17
Categories: News

Special II – Synthestesia – The Six Podcasts!

Furry News Network - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 22:32
Author: admin *steals the keys from Istanbul and sneaks in* Howdy bois!(and ladies!) It’s the fox and I once again have stolen the keys from the bunny to bring you another Special episode of Fuzzy Logic! This special is the “live” show that was recorded at Rainfurrest 2012 between six different podcasts! Here is a [...] Special II – Synthestesia – The Six Podcasts!
Categories: News

Furry authors’ picks: the 2012 Cóyotl Award winners

Furry News Network - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 22:25
Author: GreenReaper If you read Flayrah, you’ve heard plenty about the Ursa Majors. You might have missed our coverage of the Cóyotl Awards, though. A few months ago, they published their first annual list of nominees, and the winners were announced at this month’s RainFurrest. Only members of the Furry Writer’s Guild can participate, so the [...]
Categories: News

*Nap nap nap

Furry Reddit - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 21:36
Categories: News

Jake on DVD. With Hat!

In-Fur-Nation - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 18:44

In the spirit of all-around marketing, Cartoon Network has just released the new Adventure Time: Jake vs. Me-Mow DVD… which includes your very own Finn Hat, which has become such a popular fashion accessory for ATFJ fans. The DVD (let’s not forget about that) features 16 episodes from all 4 seasons of Adventure Time with Finn and Jake, this time featuring Jake the magical dog taking on Me-Mow the dastardly cat. There’s a commercial for the package on YouTube… which, frankly, is about as strange as the show itself.

image c. 2012 Cartoon Network

Categories: News

‘Heat 9? interview: contributors Camron and Vantid

Furry News Network - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 18:24
Author: Isiah Jacobs Isiah had the chance to interview most of the contributors to the annual adult anthology, Heat 9, published by Sofawolf; some could not be reached for interview. Related interviews: Kandrel and Scappo – Alopex Isiah Jacobs: Good evening, Camron! Vantid! Thank you both so much for coming on the show! Vantid: Good [...]
Categories: News

Wet koalas are not as cute as dry ones

alt.fan.furry - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 16:45
Categories: News

Review: ‘Lagrange’, by Phil Geusz

Furry News Network - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 14:24
Author: Fred Lagrange is one of Phil Geusz’s slighter pieces. The novella appeared in the Sofawolf Press magazine Anthrolations #8, November 2006, and was reprinted in the online Furry magazine Anthro #25, September-October 2009. Now here it is as a separate booklet from Legion Publishing in hardcover, trade paperback, or Kindle editions, your choice. It [...]
Categories: News

Furry Gangnam Style!

DailyFurBlog - Thu 18 Oct 2012 - 11:59
Well I knew this would happen sooner-or-later, but here is the video Furry Gangnam Style by EZwolf. This video was really well done and , of course the production was great. But, here comes my criticism. If you did SO much work to make it look really nice looking, why did the furries not dance in rhythm? I mean I don’t say someone should take a dance class, but maybe a little more unison (there were only two parts they were dancing together)? Also, what would have been really cool is if they got someone to remake the song to more “furry styling”. “hey sexy furry…whoop whoop… show that tail there…” I have some great lines that could go over top of this and make it funny. Okay so I pointed only two things out, though this video still AWESOME I like the style and the video work so not haten’ I’m just sayn’ .
Categories: News