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Furry Struggles with His Fursona Dark Side
To get straight to the point, how does one find inner balance?
Sorry, I like to get to the point of things but I'll give you some background to better understand the question.
Yes, I am a fur, in case you were wondering. I'm also a homosexual, a Christian, and part of the military as well. What I want to know is how can I find the Equilibrium I'm searching for. My 'fursona' in reality is not one, but two. Eruantien, the German Shepherd Hyena mix that is a sweet heart, everything my adoptive parents taught me to be, and a good deal of the better Christian part of me. The second fursona is Thel, the kangaroo dragon mix, whom is all the military has taught me to be, all that life has shaped, and the colder half of my heart.
This obviously isn't something that happens over a night of sleep, this happened over months and next thing I knew, my closest friends tell me after time of not being together that I'm the same as always, I haven't changed, but there's times when they see my 'Dark side' and are astonished I could be that way.
When I look at them as simple projections of myself, I see Thel as the shell, rough and tough, cold, calculating, practical, blunt and insensitive self protecting my heart, soft, emotional and usually too sweet for his own good, Eru.
My only issue is the switch between both, at times I'm too good that I'm a doormat, at others I'm told to be very cold and hostile that people fear me and don't want to know me. Honest to God, I really don't mind. I tend to be on the anti-social side and if I talk to you and let you in, it's rare and a moment the heavens opened to say Hallelujah.
Moving along, I'm trying to find a balance, but with the few labels I gave away and how people are very prejudiced and almost instantly label, stereotype, and assume things about you and your life, it's not all that hard to believe why I choose not to open up and share, why I love simply being cold and indifferent...
Sadly, this has been brought up to my attention by those that care about me. Just today I was given a little intervention by three of my closest loved ones, my adoptive parents and my high school chem teacher whom I keep in touch with after all these years. They feel that my apathy and reluctance to admit I'm gay, which I hate the word, I'm a damned homosexual, get it right, geez, the hostile attitude, the cold way I look at people and that it comes off as a superiority complex, which I don't have because I swear I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I just don't really socialize unless I HAVE to, and so on and so forth and lets add some blah blah blah to it there as stuffing.
Sorry, let me take a moment to actually chuckle, (snorts and laughs), I guess now what I'm trying to do is be aware of what they say, but I can't seem to find the in-between of my two halves?
Don't tell me I have MPD, I don't think I should add that to my list of labels.
Much love and appreciation,
happy new year's while I'm at it!
-Eru Thel Tecuani
* * *
Hi, Eru Thel Tecuani, and Happy New Year to you, too!
No, I will not tell you that you have Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). I’m no expert, but based on what you said, I would not label you as such.
Furries having multiple fursonas is not at all uncommon. We adopt our fursonas for many reasons. One reason is that it allows us to express a side of our personality that we don’t really show in public. Or, it can serve as a way to enhance the qualities in ourselves that people do know about but don’t see very often.
As for your “dark side,” everyone has one. People are often startled to find that I have one as well. If you ever saw a pic of my human face, I look like kind of a geeky, pleasant, white bread guy, but I do have aspects about me that are not readily apparent. Similarly, like you, I have a very antisocial side. There are many times I would just like to be left alone and not have anyone disturb me, not even my mate. But I am not like that all the time. Two very important things in my life help me to achieve social balance: the furry community and my mate. They compel me to meet new people and become more open to others.
Your two fursonas are a way for you to deal with the two aspects of your personality. The only problem I’m seeing—and you see it, too—is that the colder, less sociable side of you is dominating over the sweet, gentler side. Part of this might be because of your military training and experience, and part could be about a lack of trust you have developed for other human beings. You don’t mention anything about your childhood or other experiences, but I would infer that some things may have happened to you in your life that have caused you to raise your shields and become defensive and protective of your emotions.
The only way you will achieve balance, then, is to regain some of that trust for other people that you have evidently lost in your life. That is something that can take a lot of time and a lot of work. It involves your reconnecting to those you love, such as your stepparents.
In a way, you have become addicted to being cold and distant. You have found that it works for you in that it prevents you from being hurt. The side effect of this strategy, though, is what you are feeling now: this lack of balance. You are, in fact, sacrificing that part of you that you know is loving and caring and that wants more out of life than what you are providing by building this tough exterior.
But there is another side of this, too. You mention that when you open up your gentler side you end up being a doormat. Hoo, boy! Have I been there, too! Your bad experiences with that probably also contribute to your tougher side’s domination of your personality in a kind of snowballing effect toward the “dark side” (i.e., I’m guessing you are Thel more often than you are Eru). I suspect that the doormat effect comes about because you do not have enough experience in opening up to people, and so you need practice in being a better judge of character. More practice will help you figure out who is more likely to take advantage of your kinder side and who won’t do that to you.
So, now you have a choice: you can continue what you are doing or you can try and change it. I feel you have a desire to change it, which is good. You will need to chip away at that outer shell and learn to let people in again. You don’t have to rush into that. Proceed slowly. Spend more time with people you like and trust and do things together with them. Start having more conversations with those you love, like family members, about what you are feeling inside.
Also, if you are not aware of them already, there are a number of Christian Furry and Military Furry groups out there on Facebook, Furry4Life, and other sites. You could probably get a lot of help by joining such groups and talking about the complexities of being gay, being a soldier, being a Christian, and being a furry all at the same time. Support from people who share your experiences is a great way to gain trust in others and friendships that can last a lifetime.
Back to your fursonas. Since fursonas are a good way to protect yourself while interacting with society, I would like to suggest you spend more and more time being Eru and less time being Thel. You might not realize this but Eru, being an alter ego to your human side, can be just as effective a protector as Thel. As a fursona, he is a buffer between you and human interaction, even when his outer shell is one of love and friendship rather than strength and stoicism.
I hope that makes sense. Write again if I wasn’t being clear enough and we can talk further.
I wish you luck and happiness and love,
Papabear
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NOVEMBER 28 (PM = POST MINSTRAL)
that facebook is really just a fucking joke. After all, why would anyone
post all this personal info. Like anyone really gives a fiddler's fuck,
right.
So, I therefore say to those who might wish to complain, "Go fuck
I LOVE TO FINGER FUCK
So what?
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I Think Quite A Few Of Us SL Furs Can Relate.
Season 7 Episode 07 is Live!
AngelDarkSong (aka Alex) is back for the second week in a row filling in for the adsent Xavier while he attends to matters of the family. This leaves the remaining cast members of TK and Felis to help guide AngelDarkSong through the whole pair of hours in which this show runs.
Click the Listen page to get audio links for your favourite media players, or scroll to the bottom of the page to find the YouTube link to watch the livestream of the show.
Then remember to come back shortly after the show has finished to watch our NEW YEAR SPECIAL where we see in 2013 live on air! We'll post here when we're live again!
Weasyl invites!
I saw that thread that popped up before.
I've got some invites to spare if anyone wants one.
Hit me up with your email, I've only got a few so it's first come first served.
Edit 1: http://i.imgur.com/p2Vas.png
Sent a few invites out.
Edit 2: http://i.imgur.com/o19u4.png
All out c:
submitted by I_RAPE_FURSUITERS[link] [32 comments]
Carroll Ballard’s Fly Away Home
Fly Away Home (1996) is the third of director Carroll Ballard’s four great animal films. I’ve discussed The Black Stallion (1979) in a previous article; Never Cry Wolf (1983) and Duma (2005) will come later.
Fly Away Home is the story of a tween girl who becomes the de facto mother to a gaggle of young geese. Like Ballard’s other three films, it’s entertaining, great fun, and—in partnership with cinematographer Caleb Deschanel—a spectacular exploration of the beauty of his animal stars. It’s a grown-up movie that can be enjoyed by children.
But is it a furry film? And what makes a film ‘furry’ anyway?
A quick peek at the Ursa Majors and the regular ‘Furry Movie Award Watch’ features on Flayrah indicates a strong preference for animated children’s films in the vein of Kung Fu Panda. That’s fair enough: anthropomorphic characters have always featured in children’s entertainment, including many of the reference points for the early furry fandom (Robin Hood, The Lion King). Anthro characters are rare in films intended for adults.
The [adjective][species] chronicler of the international spread of the furry community, Zik, asked for furry movie recommendations recently on Fur Affinity (link). He guessed, correctly, that people would recommend Robin Hood and Fantastic Mr Fox, and little else. So where are the rest of the furry films? Many furries, of course, enjoy those movies that are designed for children, but—as a community—we don’t seem to have a go-to oeuvre of grown-up furry movies in the way we do books or TV.
I’d argue that any film with non-human protagonists might be considered furry. Aside from the Carroll Ballard films I’m writing about here, you could include Avatar or even the Alien films in that group. Certainly, both those films will appeal to some furries on a deeper level. Fly Away Home does too: even though our geese are not anthropomorphic in any way, they are presented in a way that invokes the close personal bond that some people have with their pets.
The movie starts, as Ballard’s films often do, with death. The 13-year-old main character, Amy, is riding in a car with her mother. The only sound is music, a new version of the old folk standard, 10,000 Miles. As it turns out, 10,000 miles is the approximate distance between Amy’s parents. She is with her mother just outside of Auckland, her father (and the rest of the film) is in rural Ontario.
Fly Away Home starts in New Zealand because Amy is played by Anna Paquin. Paquin is best known nowadays as Rogue from the X-Men films: in 1995 she was 13 and had just won an Academy Award for her debut film role in The Piano.
Good child actors must be hard to find. Casting Paquin meant that the film needed to be rewritten to explain (excuse?) her New Zealand accent. The choice of 10,000 Miles to accompany the prologue presumably also came after Paquin was cast.
Amy’s mother dies in the crash, and Amy flies to join her father in the Canadian countryside. She then discovers some goose eggs abandoned due to land clearing near her new home, and we have ourselves a coming-of-age story, as Amy plays Mother Goose to a gaggle of ludicrously cute goslings.
This all happens in the first few minutes. As a viewer, it’s already obvious that this is a film with no filler. Ballard doesn’t like to advance his plot through conversation: in interviews he has dismissively referred to spoken exposition as ‘yak scenes’.
The film also stands out for having a female lead character. It shouldn’t be rare to see a coming-of-age story starring a girl, but sadly it is. This was noted by one of our commenters on my Fantastic Mr Fox article, who noted “It is harder to appreciate some of the truly spectacular stories that explore masculinity because at this point it’s largely the only option.” (Thanks Ju.)
Amy’s father is a thoroughly irresponsible parent. On Amy’s arrival, his first act is to take a dangerous ride on a hang-glider of his own invention, leading to the first of the movie’s many crash-landings. He is the one who allows—and facilitates—the idea that Amy should fly from Ontario to North Carolina to lead her geese in their first winter migration. It’s obvious that this is a terrible idea, but he encourages Amy to risk her physical safety and frames the journey in a way that risks her emotional safety as well.
Fortunately her journey, and various antics leading up to it, are hilarious and beautiful. Like all of Ballard’s films, his animal stars and the countryside are spectacular. He is also smart enough to avoid the worst of the potentially treacly story, keeping Amy’s adventures engaging and light.
Fly Away Home is an apolitical film, but it presents a fascinating moral take on the world. Consider these two lists:
Good guys in Fly Away Home: academics, the American military, hippies, TV stations.
Bad guys in Fly Away Home: capitalists, park rangers, hunters, the Queen.
In the film’s morality, these two groups are delineated in a simple way: you’re good if you go about your business without negatively affecting others; you’re bad if you assert your own desires as more important than someone else’s. It’s a kind of libertarian philosophy, but one where monolithic government-provided service providers—local TV news; scientists; the military—are considered to be essential to the social fabric. Those who blindly apply rules (aka ‘laws’) are not looked upon kindly.
It’s refreshing to see a film where the United States is morally superior to Canada, to say nothing of the moral superiority of the US military over the Queen (!).
Having said that, the film is too black-or-white at times. Storytelling efficiency is clearly a higher priority than believable minor characters, some of whom are drawn in broad shorthand: the moustache-twirling evil property developer at the end leaps to mind.
The physical comedy in the film is often too broad as well. There are a couple of slapstick scenes backed by slightly Bennyhillian music, that feel as if they have been accidentally edited in from a bad children’s film. It’s a pity, because Ballard creates some hilarious moments: not wacky misunderstandings in various states of undress, rather a baby goose falling into a toilet.
If you can forgive these small mis-steps, you have a brilliant film. Ballard’s scenes showing tiny goslings running around in Amy’s footsteps are some of the best he’s ever shot. And the scenes of the adult geese flying alongside Amy’s ultralight aircraft are stunning.
Fly Away Home is easy to enjoy and packs an awful lot into 103 minutes. It’s cheap too: I bought my DVD from Amazon, delivery included, for less than £1.50. You’d be crazy not to.
This is the second of four articles on the films of Carroll Ballard. All four movies are great. Choose your species and join us:
- The Black Stallion (horse)
- Never Cry Wolf (wolf): coming as soon as I find my DVD following a recent move
- Fly Away Home (goose)
- Duma (cheetah): coming eventually
Episode 70 – Take It Easy
Happy New Year from Australia!
Daily Show: December 31, 2012 - What foods have you tried this past year? Were they really great? Horrible? We talk about some of our culinary experiences. - Let us know what new foods you've tried. - Hosts: Ice Fire, Levi, Wolfin, CrimsonX Picture By: Le
What foods have you tried this past year? Were they really great? Horrible? We talk about some of our culinary experiences.
Let us know what new foods you’ve tried.
Hosts: Ice Fire, Levi, Wolfin, CrimsonX
Picture By: Levi Wolstrom
Hey /r/Furry I need some help finding a Gift
Hello!
My friend is very largely into the Fandom, and he's very emotionally attached to his look.
He recently had a tail that he wore everywhere, but it broke, and he was devastated.
To the Request, I need a tail, custom made or to request, to help him feel better about himself, the tail needs to be 2 feet long, has 3 colors, then under side of the Tail (being that part that would touch his legs when wearing it) is white, then a black stripe separating the top portion from the bottom. The Top portion being orange.
I will be willing to spend quite a bit for his tail, if anyone could help me with getting this tail made.
So if anyone could help my friend out, it will be greatly appreciated, hand made or store would be amazing.
Thank you very, very much for reading this! Hopefully we can get something to figured out!
Here is a picture of his Fursona, the tail needs to look something like that in the picture.
submitted by Djdragon44[link] [4 comments]
Please post the most dramatic Furry Art you have ever seen.
I mean Furry art that conjours up the epic music in your head or makes you slam down your tablet and open up your Sketchbook! Just the most mind blowing Furry art you have seen. The kind that conjours up feelings other than "oh that's cute..."
submitted by Hemms3[link] [6 comments]
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/bfO1H.png){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/pkhYG.jpg){kind=link}