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[Feature] Features Pilot
To kick off a pilot of our new feature interview podcast, Jesse and Paradox sit down with Hino, chairman of Megaplex, to discuss the con’s history, unique stories & future plans.
Megaplex is coming up August 3rd – 5th 2018 at the DoubleTree by Hilton Orlando at SeaWorld in Orlando, Florida.
This episode is an exciting pilot of our upcoming yet-to-be-named series. Look out for a dedicated site, social media & RSS feeds coming soon!
[Feature] Features PilotClip: Sky Pirates In The Sky
Bonus clip! Don Karnage is back! *Swoon* Ok, No Jim Cummings and his ears are not in the clip ... dammit! Still, I expect he will remove his hat and the dramatic reveal of his most amazing ears. There are so many questions about a Tailspin reboot at this point. [1] [1] https://furry.today/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/ducktales-don-karnage.jpg
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Chris P. Duck
Liberation Game, by Kris Schnee – Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Liberation Game, by Kris Schnee.
Seattle, WA, CreateSpace, May 2018, trade paperback, $8.99 (307 pages). Kindle $3.99.
This is both a sequel to Thousand Tales: How We Won the Game, 2040: Reconnection, The Digital Coyote, Thousand Tales: Learning to Fly, and all the other stories in this series, and an independent summation of all of them. It covers the years 2036 to 2040, from when the Artificial Intelligence Ludo was just starting to set up the Thousand Tales/Talespace gameworld, to when it – maybe – becomes a legally recognized independent country. It features new characters, although some previous characters appear in it. (Nocturne, identified in the first novel as a black-feathered griffin-girl, is described more fully; she’s not an eagle-lioness combination but a raven-lioness.)
Liberation Game features three main characters: Ludo, in “her” beautiful human woman form; Robin MacAdam, a young American, a member of the Latter Day Saints/Mormons helping to build a community in the Central American nation of Cibola; and Lumina, a centauroid deer robot (very shiny but metallic; not very “furry”).
As Liberation Game begins in 2036, Ludo has just begun her mission to help humans “have fun”. Lumina is one of the first independent AIs that Ludo has created. She was intended to become the android companion of a German doctor who Ludo hoped to encourage to become a supporter of Thousand Tales and one of its first uploaded residents, but he is killed almost immediately, leaving Lumina at loose ends. She drifts over to Robin’s project.
Robin, the assistant of Edward Apery, are the two Mormons/Americans helping the local natives of Cibola to construct a modern village, Golden Goose. The name is intended as both a symbol of what they hope to accomplish, and as a subtle hint to Cibola’s corrupt government that it can get more over the long run by letting the experimental village succeed than by taking all its assets as “taxes” immediately.
“The village of Golden Goose existed by a strange partnership. The Latter-Day Saints (or Mormons) had pumped money into Cibola in the hopes of winning over some of the local Catholics. The government had eagerly deeded them some land to start economic reconstruction. Robin himself had initially cared more about travel and adventure and damn good local coffee.
The village’s other partner wasn’t human: Ludo the gamemaster AI.” (p. 5)
At this point, Ludo is mostly a silent partner, helping to subsidize Golden Goose’s development for the long-range goal of building one of her centers of Thousand Tales and uploading human minds into Talespace. Edward/administrator and Robin/engineer are the tutors of the local natives, and their representatives to Governor Leopold, their Cibolan government official.
When “General Mosquito”, a warlord fighting the government’s incompetent army and killing everyone his army encounters, decides to conquer Golden Goose and loot all its assets, Edward flees, leaving Robin in charge. Ludo supports him in planning a defense – and more:
“‘I don’t run Golden Goose. I’m just the engineer. Edward will come back once the threat is gone.’
‘Unlikely. Will you look to the long term with me, and be ready to defend this area even against Leopold as the nominally lawful ruler?’
Robin backed away from the racks of computers. ‘Did you just ask me to start a revolution?’
‘The rule of law is a rare thing, and there’s little of it here. I predict that if your people do well, you can be recognized as a mostly autonomous zone that pays taxes and bribes but is mostly left alone to do big things.’
‘Things for you, you mean. What is this immortality miracle, really?’
‘Digital recreation of human minds. Brain uploading. That’s not the important thing here. It’s going to be controversial and I need places where people have the freedom to sign up for it.’” (p. 74)
Robin’s victory over Mosquito, and his fighting alongside the villagers of Golden Goose after Edward fled, wins him the villagers’ support. He continues to build the village, and Ludo begins to develop her center beneath it. One of her first “assistants” is Lumina. Robin is dismissive of the flashy metallic deer-centauroid android at first, but they grow on each other.
Lumina is the only major “furry” character at first, if you consider a metallic android to be furry, but there are many supporting characters such as Delphine, a dolphin-woman:
“The turret detected portals opening in the blazing desert. Lumina disabled it and unlocked the outer door to let the guests trickle in. First was a dwarf, then a living suit of armor and Nocturne the griffin. There was a humanoid otter with a cutlass [Typhoon’s Eye; he becomes important later on], several unicorns and pegasi, and more. There were one hundred and nine people in total.
Nocturne said, ‘Welcome to TalesCon ’36!’, greeting one of the last guests, a French-accented centaur lady with a vest full of cooking tools.” (p. 48)
“‘Thank y’all!’ said a rabbit in shining armor, grinning widely. He turned to the avatars of a kindly Texan woman and her wheelchair-bound friend, who were doing voice acting for some of the characters. The bunny added, ‘Miss Abby, when are you free next? Been wantin’ to show you my mansion.’” (p. 188)
The story gradually becomes more furry, but it doesn’t become really furry until about page 200. It’s an easy read until then because all of Schnee’s Thousand Tales novels are excellent s-f stories, both thought-provoking and dramatic:
“‘This is a dangerous game, Ludo. Last time you encouraged md to fight, it was to protect my people against an incoming threat of violence. You said you wouldn’t suggest it unless there were going to be a fight anyway.’ Robin paced, then looked back at her. ‘Is that what you’re telling me again?’
She nodded. ‘We know that someone is using violence as a provocation already. You should begin to game out several ways that the next few rounds of this dance could go horribly wrong and what you’ll do.’” (p. 280)
Liberation Game (cover by NextMars) is another winner in Schnee’s Thousand Tales series. Don’t miss it.
Like the article? It takes a lot of effort to share these. Please consider supporting Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, or get Con*Tact Caffeine Soap as a reward. They’re a popular furry business seen in dealer dens. Be an extra-perky patron – or just order direct from Con*Tact.
Monstie Shots: The Courtship
Bearly Fiction, Volume One, by Frances Pauli – Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Bearly Fiction, Volume One, by Frances Pauli.
Moses Lake, WA, Gastropod Press, May 2018, trade paperback, $5.99 ([2 +] 114 [+ 1] pages), Kindle $0.99.
The subtitle says “a collection of anthropomorphic stories by Frances Pauli”. The back-cover blurb begins, “Eleven animal stories from author Frances Pauli. From dogs to dinosaurs, from the courtroom to the coral reef, follow these critter characters through a wild variety of adventures across genres.”
In her Introduction, Pauli says that these are all reprints, so you may have read some of these before, in several anthologies of furry fiction. They’re still good, and it’s nice to have them all together. Also, this is a thin but tall book, 7.5” x 9.2” – that’s almost as large as a standard sheet of paper. Considering the low price, you certainly get your money’s worth.
Bad Dog – Hellhounds are born at the witching hour exactly. Hatach is born thirty-five seconds after the witching hour. How will this affect his being a hellhound?
Rats – “A rat walked into a bar.” But he says that he isn’t a rat. Or he wasn’t, anyway. The bartender tries to help him figure out why he turned into an anthro rat.
A Temper for Order – “Piper’s beak tipped the bottle with expert care. The liquid oozed through the narrow spout. Not a drop spilled. One of her feet clutched a smaller, hand-blown phial. She needed twenty drops more to get the mix just right. Twenty drops exactly. Balanced on one long leg, the little hen slicked her feathers closer to her body and counted while she poured,” (p. 14) Piper mixes herbal medicines in an avian beachfront community. Her friend Trudy, a weaver, is determined to play matchmaker for her. But Piper is obsessed with neatness, and the cock that Trudy seems determined to match her with is Dash, a seemingly-staggeringly-drunken stork. Is there more to Dash than is apparent?
El Emperador – Jessie is looking to buy a fast horse. The one the horse trader calls El Emperador looks like a broken-down fleabag. But Jessie is desperate, so she buys him and renames him Harry. How can she get the Emperor/Harry to run?
The Scent of Lantana – “Nando wiped a speck of blood from his nose and stepped over his unconscious opponent. He lifted his arms high, raised twin ruby red boxing gloves into the air, and turned to one side and then the other while lights flashed and a thousand female voices shouted, ‘Toro, Toro! Te Quiero.’” (p. 32) Nando, El Toro, is the top bull in Spain. But he’s a boxing champion, not a bullfighting bull. Can he keep winning? Does he want to? Jose, his rooster manager, tries to keep him trained to perfection. But Antonio, a burro sports reporter, knows what he really wants.
Live Cargo – “The spaceport lighting made a kiln of her radiation resistant suit. She flattened triangle Corgi ears against her skull and pulled the quilted fabric away from her neck, not that it helped in the least. The stoat manning the cargo counter blinked beady, unconcerned eyes back through the window at her.” (p. 50) Cici, a Corgi tramp space freighter captain, has one rule: no live cargo. But the only cargo on “the ugliest lump of gravel she’d ever made port on” is live. Poultry. Scrawny chickens infested with fleas. Cici and Barc, her bot, find the chickens both a curse and a blessing (though they can do without the fleas).
The Lion Sleeps – “Stanley flexed tawny knuckles and let the tips of his claws prick pinpoint holes in the leather-wrapped steering wheel. A horn blared somewhere inside the crowd of vehicles wedged together on the freeway. […] He stuffed a furred finger into his shirt collar and tugged the fabric away from his throat. Freed from the constriction of his work shirt, a yawn worked its way into his jaw, stretched his mouth wide. Stanley’s pink tongue curled around it. His eyelids drooped.” (p. 58) But falling asleep on the freeway is not recommended. Is his job worth it?
Domestic Violence – Anni and George are unhappily-married velociraptors. Don’t let the children watch.
Lessons on Chains – Stella is a cinnamon bear who crochets. On a rooftop. With a raccoon. She teaches him to crochet while they discuss their respective abusive relationships.
Seed of a Doubt – “‘Raise your right fin.’ The bailiff fluttered silver gills and rolled one eyeball the size of Ray’s head in the direction of the judge. ‘And state your name.’” (p. 79) Ray Blythe is a little, timid remora testifying in deep-sea court against the large, very toothy gray shark gangster who he was attached to at the time of the crime.
Last Man Standing – “The eggheads always said we’d never do it, but they never once said it wasn’t possible. Sitting on my knapsack in a mud-filled trench, this seems like a ridiculous thing to ponder, but the thought lodges in my brain as soon as our Captain gives the word the monsters are restless. They’d never said we couldn’t do it. They’d only trusted us not to be stupid.” (p. 103) Mack is one of the last Pinkies, the pure humans, left in a transgenic world where everyone is getting themselves turned into animal-men. Wolf-man. Lion-man. Horse-man. Aardvark-man. (Or –woman.) Then Mack is the Last Man Standing, and he’s captured and forced to choose what animal to get combined with. But then the animal-men get augmented further. Predator-men have to get a prey-animal augmentation, and vice versa. A wolf-man gets a ground squirrel augmentation. Where will it stop? What will Mack end up looking like?
Bearly Fiction, Volume One presents a wide variety of anthro-animal stories in a wide variety of settings; all well-written and enjoyable reading. The “Volume One” promises that when Pauli has written enough more stories for the furry-fiction anthologies and magazines, there will be a Volume Two. And, hopefully, more to come.
Like the article? It takes a lot of effort to share these. Please consider supporting Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, or get Con*Tact Caffeine Soap as a reward. They’re a popular furry business seen in dealer dens. Be an extra-perky patron – or just order direct from Con*Tact.
The Little Creatures Don’t Know They’re Ugly
Looks like the popularity of the Uglydolls plush toy line continues to grow. After a graphic novel series several years ago, now there’s a new TV series in production for the Hulu network. According to an article at Deadline, STX will be producing the TV series and also has exclusive rights to the feature film which is also in production (and has been for some time). “Created as a plush toy line by David Horvath and Sun-Min Kim, the Uglydoll brand quickly gained a cult following around the world and was named Toy of the Year by the Toy Industry Association in 2006. Uglydoll characters are distinct for their endearing ‘ugliness’, in a wonderful ‘uglyverse’ where differences are celebrated and embraced.” Look for both the feature and the series in 2019.
image c. 2018 STX
Fall Out Boy: Bishops Knife Trick
Riders of the Realm. 1, Across the Dark Water, by Jennifer Lynn Alvarez – Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Riders of the Realm. 1, Across the Dark Water, by Jennifer Lynn Alvarez. Illustrations, maps by David McClellan
NYC, HarperCollinsPublishers/Harper, May 2018, hardcover, $16.99 ([xix +] 417 [+4] pages), Kindle $9.99.
Alvarez’s Riders of the Realm trilogy is a followup to her The Guardian Herd tetralogy. The four Young Adult Guardian Herd novels (Starfire, Stormbound, Landfall, and Windborn, published from September 2014 to September 2016) featured the intelligent, talking pegasi (flying horses, despite the FAQ that “being called a ‘horse’ is an insult to a pegasus”) to the west of the giant continent Anok. More exactly, it featured the five herds there of those pegasi (the Sun Herd, Mountain Herd, Snow Herd, Jungle Herd, and Desert Herd), and the two all-powerful black stallion pegasi, Starfire and Nightwing, fighting to the death for their fate.
Riders of the Realm is about the 140 pegasi from those five herds, led by the mare Echofrost and the stallion Hazelwind, who flee Anok altogether for the unknown southern continent across the Dark Water ocean, and what they find there. They declare themselves a new Herd; Storm Herd. Or rather, since their story takes second place, it’s about the civilization there of the two-legged Landwalkers (humans), their enemies like Gorlan giants, spit-dragons, giant ants, burners (miniature flying, fire-breathing dragons), and other creatures – notably, the pegasi that they have already domesticated – and how they are affected by the arrival of the 140 flying-horse refugees from Anok.
Across the Dark Water is two stories: that of 12-year-old human Rahkki, small for his age, the younger brother of Brauk Stormrunner, one of the officers of the Fifth Clan’s Sky Guard; and of Echofrost, a “sleek silver mare with a mix of dark- and light-purple feathers, white mane and tail, one white sock” (p. x). But it’s mostly about Rahkki and the politics of the Sandwen’s Fifth Clan – about the humans.
The first chapter introduces Rahkki, his adult (21 years old) brother Brauk, and Brauk’s Khilari flyer, Kol:
“Overhead, glittering feathers, shining hides, and polished armor blocked out the sun – it was his brother’s squad of Riders, flying back from patrol. Eighty winged horses, each ridden by a Sandwen warrior, glided in formation, their hooves striking the clouds. There were a total of three squads in the Fifth Clan’s Sky Guard, and Brauk Stormrunner was the Headwind of his. The flying steeds were called Khilari, which meant ‘Children of the Wind,’ and they were sacred in the Sandwen Realm.” (pgs. 2-3)
Across the Dark Water is complex; about the political structure and politics of the Sandwen’s Fifth Clan (of seven clans); about the Sandwen’s relationship with the other species of this southern continent; and about these other species. Riders of the Realm is admirably different from the four novels of The Guardian Herd in that it is about flying horses and humans and how they interact, rather than just about flying horses as was the previous tetralogy, but of less interest to furry fans in that there is so much about humans and not the anthro animals.
Also, while Alvarez tells a good story that will hold your interest to the end – and beyond; this first novel of the trilogy ends on a dramatic cliffhanger – there are some aspects that are not really convincing. The humans who talk and the flying horses who whinny and nicker can’t speak or understand each other’s languages; they’re too different. Okay, this is clever. But we’re asked to believe that the humans have domesticated pegasi for 400 years, and haven’t realized that the tamed pegasi’s constant whinnying and nickering to each other, and reacting with intelligence, is a language rather than just dumb animal noises? We’re asked to believe that the Gorlan giants (nine- to twelve-foot tall humans) are considered dangerous dumb brutes, when they have domesticated and ride elephants and have trained the burners? The story is gripping enough that you’ll accept these rough spots, but you will notice them.
Still, there are enough scenes and chapters with the pegasi to make this worthwhile reading for the furry fan:
“She was about to trot off when a shape leaped at her. Echofrost reared back, and it just missed her throat. Growling filled her ears. She kicked off and hovered near the treetops. A black panther snarled up at her. He jumped again, trying to snatch her feathers in his claws.” (p. 74)
“Echofrost flattened her ears. This stallion let Landwalkers ride on his back; who was he to judge her and Shysong?
‘Where did you come from?’ he continued.
Echofrost said nothing. She was thinking.
‘Answer me!’ he brayed.
‘Are you the over-stallion of this herd?’
He paused. ‘Herd? We’re not horses, wildling.’
The surrounding Kihlari nickered, amused.
Echofrost felt her ears grow hot. Didn’t all pegasi live in herds? She felt confused, unsure; but she was the stranger here, not them. She’d have to study their ways. ‘Tell me what you are and I’ll tell you where I came from,’ she bargained.” (p. 93)
“Echofrost glanced down. The Kihlari roof was beginning to open, and the Sky Guard would be on them in moments, but if they didn’t keep flying, she doubted they’d ever get another opportunity to escape.
‘Head to the heights,’ she whinnied, forgetting all about Rahkki, who weighed next to nothing.
Surging higher, Echofrost and Shysong darted into clouds that were huge and billowing, offering them cover. Far below, the Landwalkers scurried like mice. Inside the barn, Riders quickly buckled saddles onto their mounts. ‘Higher,’ Echofrost neighed.
‘But the princess can’t breathe,’ whinnied Shysong, pausing to hover.” (p. 375)
Riders of the Realm. 1, Across the Dark Water (cover by Vivienne To) is illustrated, but as in The Guardian Herd, David McClellan’s illustrations are tiny and almost-generic chapter-heading drawings. The middle volume of the trilogy, Through the Untamed Sky, will be published on March 26, 2019.
Like the article? It takes a lot of effort to share these. Please consider supporting Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, or get Con*Tact Caffeine Soap as a reward. They’re a popular furry business seen in dealer dens. Be an extra-perky patron – or just order direct from Con*Tact.
This Bunny is a Blast
The things you find at Comic Con… be on the lookout for Black Hops U.S.A. G.I., new from Antarctic Press. He’s a cute little bunny — and he kills for America. Here’s more from Previews: “North Korea has a nuclear warhead aimed at Hawaii, and every last American commando unit sent in to disarm it has gone missing. With the clock ticking, the fate of the Aloha State rests in the paws of U.S.A.-G.I. This dauntless, highly trained special missions leporid must now cross the 38th parallel and take on the Nork forces, both man and animal, to save the world from a nuclear war!” You heard ’em. It’s written by Mark Pellegrini, with full-color art by Timonthy Lim and Brian Denham and a cover by Dave Dorman. And it’s on the stands now. Duck!
image c. 2018 Antarctic Press
TigerTails Radio Season 11 Episode 13
Fursuit photography from the urban jungle: Goku’s Furban Exploration.
Among the many hybrid species of furry subculture, one of its secret weapons is multi-talented artists – bright and devoted fans with a buffet of skills like making art, writing, and performing all at once. Even average fans bring many hobbies to such a wide-open interest. If you make a venn diagram for this, it’s plaid.
Start with photography and fursuiting. If you love it, after a little while, cute suits start blending together in the standard con-hotel backdrop. Each individual furry is a work of art, but the bigger the herd grows, the more it looks like a bewhiskered blob of technicolor barf. That just naturally comes with so much individualism.
Photos that are extra candid, specially staged, or use exciting locations stand out. It’s another reason why Street Fursuiting is my favorite thing. It made me ask: can suiting join the mix for those into street art or exploring abandoned places?
I have considered it but a lot of places are too dirty/unsafe (either for a suit or in general), or else you want to be able to depart quickly if necessary, but I've definitely considered it! pic.twitter.com/LGxfXLTWzS
— 'Dile For Hire (@microdile) June 23, 2018A crocodile could definitely have reservations. There are many sensible reasons for why others wouldn’t even consider it. Maybe some monkeys, climby raccoons, possums or squirrels would.
A great reply came from a Goku. He’s a Fox, Wild Dog, & Sewer Rat from Pittsburgh. He’s bold and beautiful in his own creepycrawly way. Look at him emerged from the underground and boldly rocking out on the street. Then read the story he sent in to share with everyone. I hope you get inspired and think of exciting adventures to plan for yourself!
Holy shit, I got on the live feed on Canadian TV during @furrykerfluffle! This was such an amazing first #TorontoPride! pic.twitter.com/wdc8EjYaYD
—
Goku! 
(@KasigFuchsGoku) June 24, 2018
From Goku:
Good Afternoon Patch,
I want to thank you for your time for discussing fursuit photos and urban exploration, I am very glad to help garner some interest in the subject.
I am not the average fursuiter- I’m not the cute one, the most photogenic, and I’m not apt on the trends that our contemporaries are fond of. I like to be different, but like many others, I want to be noticed. While there are some merit to the droves of photos we all see of seductive poses, the common areas of many cons, etc., I aim to be idiosyncratic. I don’t damn anyone for those photos, but there are only so many ways you can be innovative on a queen size bed. I pair this with my love for the urban environment- I love the city, whether a buzzing metropolis, or a shell of glory from a previous generation. I have been getting slowly more daring with my endeavors, and in due time, I’m getting more creative.
I started with simple photo ops- dank alleyways, depressed suburbs, and areas where the walls and pavement are the canvas of artists of any walk of life. These small steps helped me get to know the basics of how to be as a fursuiter posing for photos and what pitfalls to be aware of when out in public. It gave me confidence, taught me simple limits of what to test, and in the end, was usually a creative product compared to what you see at your average furcon.
I have been coordinating with other furries (some in my area within Pittsburgh, some within the region), and learning more about urban exploration, and considering taking it to the next step. The reactions seemed to be mixed- on one hand, many are enthused to hear about the crossover since its untapped potential. With a lot of these venues (after they’re scoped out), it leads itself to some unique photos that are really hard to stage by conventional means. On the other hand, there are some dangers which I do weigh considerably, but I think I’d take a risk with (hazardous materials, drug paraphernalia, potential damage to a suit, possibility of misdemeanor charges for trespassing). You only live once, and while I’m typically measured and somewhat conservative with my mannerisms and upholding the law, I give zero fucks when I have the chance to do something as awesome as this.
I will be planning my first trip later this year to Detroit to the Heidelberg Project, and the abandoned Packard Motors plant. If you would like more information or photos on these, I’d be happy to do another write up and coordinate with the photographers.
Here’s some photos to give you an idea of what I’ve done since 2015.
Peace,
– Goku!
The Furban Exploration story from @KasigFuchsGoku had a pic that grabbed my imagination. https://t.co/Rq8oBNCbh7
Reminded me of rust belt places I came from so I searched the location. Found this: https://t.co/IYkiBHt32s@tombroadbent @atty_boy @lenscraft @WorldAbandoned #urbex pic.twitter.com/7EMQbTjyen
Of course! In addition to Seiko, @Antnommer, @mimosamoth & @WildAcai
— Goku! (@KasigFuchsGoku) July 25, 2018
Like the article? It takes a lot of effort to share these. Please consider supporting Dogpatch Press on Patreon. You can access exclusive stuff for just $1, or get Con*Tact Caffeine Soap as a reward. They’re a popular furry business seen in dealer dens. Be an extra-perky patron – or just order direct from Con*Tact.
Cult Fantastic: Animal
Cult Fantastic [1], a band seems to be consisting of a robots, emoji and werewolves.... I really love it when people bump into furry from some weird outside angle. Also I firmly believe we need more werewolves in bands. [2] "Musically, Cult Fantastic blends the dark edge of Primus with George Clinton’s funky freakiness, painting a carnival of vocal personality onto a canvas of piercing guitars, crunchy drum breaks, and alien synth effects. Visually inspired by classic science fiction and surrealism, Cult’s videos serve up a dish of thought-provoking statements that bite back harder the more you chew on them." [1] https://www.cultfantastic.com/ [2] https://furry.today/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/maxresdefault.jpg
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All the Sweet Little Monsters
Back from San Diego Comic Con, and of course there’s a lot to talk about. We came across Hazy Dell Press, the home of Kyle and Derek Sullivan and their illustrated children’s books all about famous monsters — featuring titles like Get Dressed, Sasquatch!, Good Night Krampus, and their latest, Don’t Eat Me, Chupacabra! Their colorful and whimsical monster designs are also available on greeting cards, t-shirts, and various other goodies. Find it all at their web site.
image c. 2018 Hazy Dell Press
FC-301 Steakback Outhouse - A fuzzy mess... the good kind. We can not possibly thank our fans enough for continued support over the last 8 years. In celebration of the "big 301" we threw a party, drank, retold fun stories, laughed & had a great interview
A fuzzy mess… the good kind. We can not possibly thank our fans enough for continued support over the last 8 years. In celebration of the “big 301” we threw a party, drank, retold fun stories, laughed & had a great interview with friends. Here’s to another 8 years and another 301 episodes!
Watch Video Interview:AvWuff & Gnaw from Kerfluffle join us in studio to discuss the history, planning process and involvement in their semi-frequent furry party based in Toronto, Ontario. Interview B-roll courtesy of Arctic Sky Wolf’s YouTube channel.
Link Roundup: News:- Dogs Hold Grudges While Wolves Kiss And Make Up
- Woman Comes Home To Find ‘Pole-Dancing’ Koala
- Accident-Prone Koala Rescued For Third Time After Getting Stuck In Fence
- New Study Finds Creative People Are More Likely To Murder Others In Their Dreams
- Phillie Phanatic Shoots Baseball Fan In the Eye With Hot Dog
[Live] Steakback Outhouse
A fuzzy mess… the good kind. We can not possibly thank our fans enough for continued support over the last 8 years. In celebration of the “big 301” we threw a party, drank, retold fun stories, laughed & had a great interview with friends. Here’s to another 8 years and another 301 episodes!
Interview:AvWuff & Gnaw from Kerfluffle join us in studio to discuss the history, planning process and involvement in their semi-frequent furry party based in Toronto, Ontario. Interview B-roll courtesy of Arctic Sky Wolf’s YouTube channel.
Link Roundup: News:- Dogs Hold Grudges While Wolves Kiss And Make Up
- Woman Comes Home To Find ‘Pole-Dancing’ Koala
- Accident-Prone Koala Rescued For Third Time After Getting Stuck In Fence
- New Study Finds Creative People Are More Likely To Murder Others In Their Dreams
- Phillie Phanatic Shoots Baseball Fan In the Eye With Hot Dog
Should Being a Smoker Disqualify Someone as Boyfriend Material?
The other day, I had a rare day out into the capital with one of my friends and I managed to meet up with a few of hers. One of them took me by surprise as he was an older guy, mid-40’s as a guess, with a nice round tummy. And, I do certainly have a thing for older, round-tummied men.
Once the day out had ended and I was back home, I wrote him a message asking if, because he was single, if he’d ever consider having a male companion. He told me he was cool with me being gay and liked me as a friend, but was only really interested in women. It’s a bit of a blow to discover this is a straight-crush, but that’s besides the point. Even if it never goes romantic, he still seems like he’ll be a great friend to me.
The point is that he’s a smoker. He told me he only does about 3 a day, so it could be a lot worse. But, regardless, smoke is still smoke. I’ve had a highly adverse attitude to smoking for as long as I can remember, partially because of how it’s a key sign of falling for peer pressure, partially because of all the health-risks it imposes (I do actually wander if I have some milder form of asthma, given how easily I get out of breath when I attempt to run or jog, but I’ve never been diagnosed or anything. I also can’t help but think that it can’t taste all that good to kiss someone who smokes. Perhaps that’s something that could be resolved with a good tooth-brushing, but if it tastes as bad as it smells, I’m not all too sure.
All that being said, I did still fancy this guy, despite knowing he smoked. He was friendly and charming and, in my eyes at least, a very good looking fellow. So, I do question if smoking should be something I put to one side when looking for guys. Therefore, I ask, what should I do if I come across another man I fancy and they also turn out to be a smoker? Do I favour my metaphorical heart, or the one that pumps blood around my body? Or, maybe something in-between?
I guess this is the curse of being attracted to rounder guys. They might be better for rubbing and snuggling up against, but they’re rarely the result of a healthy lifestyle.
Hugs,
Anonymous
* * *
Dear Furiend,
Since this fellow is straight then there is no issue about kissing, and since he only smokes three fags a day, I'm sure you can hang out once in a while and avoid the smoke. Put that one aside.
Yes, smoking is a bad habit and I, too, avoid smokers. My parents were horrible smokers. I would come home from school and there would be fog banks of smoke in the house and the walls turned yellow with tar. I am convinced, too, that this was the source of all the earaches and infections I got as a child, which eventually led to a burst abscess in my ear and partial deafness. I despise smoking, especially cigarettes. I do admit, though, that I love the smell of a good pipe. It's weird that I find pipes sexy and attractive, but cigarettes make me retch. And it's not just the mouth of the smoker that is affected. Most smokers' clothes also smell of smoke, as do their homes. So, yeah, blech.
I wouldn't necessarily call smoking a moral failure, however. My mother started smoking after she gave birth to my sister and gained weight. This was back in 1962, and her doctor recommended she take up smoking to lose weight. There are still people today who smoke as a way to keep from eating too much. Also, cigarette companies fill the tobacco with nicotine to deliberately get people addicted, so there's that. As for older guys with tummies being unhealthy.... Hehe, well, when you get a bit older and your metabolism slows down it becomes more and more difficult to keep yourself thin. Back when I was in my twenties I could eat about anything and my weight was 140 lbs (63 kg). Today, I give a sideways glance at a brownie and gain three pounds. It is even harder for women than men to lose weight because of their physiology being designed to maintain fat to sustain producing children. Another thing, too, can be medications. My fiance is overweight because the medications he takes for various problems stemming from his military service cause him to gain and maintain pounds. There are a number of drugs out there that do this, and you can't do much about it if you have to take the medicine to survive. So lets' not be too judgmental, shall we?
As for falling in love with a chubby smoker.... Fall in love with the person, not the appearance, when it comes to weight. Habits are a different matter. Sometimes, if you fall in love with someone who, say, smokes, you can convince them to stop and help them to do so. (BTW, furs, vaping is bad for you, too; don't be fooled.)
Same with more difficult things such as alcohol and illicit drugs. It can be a tough row to hoe, though, and you really have to love them deeply to commit to that kind of stress. If you are just meeting someone like that for the first time it might be best to say, "Thanks, but no thanks."
Take it on a case-by-case basis. There is no catch-all answer that applies to everyone.
Hugs,
Papabear
Original Sin 2 – Squirrel Knight
Struggling with an LDR
Hello! My name is Coffee, and I am in my first relationship. I don't really know if it is a very official relationship. It was a bit sudden. It started when in a discord vc we got married as a joke and it was all fun and stuff. The day after he asked me if I would like to go on a date and date him. I had never really dated anyone before, I mean you could count kindergarten dates but I don't, and so I was pretty stunned that this would happen. He's a nice guy and he cares about me, but I don't know. I'm not sure if I like him as much or in the same way he likes me. The guy, let's call him Jake, I think likes me quite a bit. The problem is we live quite far apart. We have 13 hours between us, and so it can be a bit difficult keeping up with each other. This is not to say we haven't tried like working it out I guess, we had our date (we went on a movie night) and are planning to go on another one. However I don't whether this is fair for him, or I guess myself. He deserves being with someone that cares about him as much as he cares about them, and I guess I do too, which I think is a bit selfish. I'm not sure what to do. I kind of want to break up with him because I'm not as into the relationship as I would want to be, but I really don't know how to go about it. Do I vc him? Text him? I feel like it would be best to do it over vc but I don't know if I'm up to it. If I was given more time with him to really get to know him maybe I'd like him more but IDK. I apologize for this brain dump, I realize it might be all over the place but that's just how my mind is working through this problem right now.
Coffee (age 17)
...
Dear Papabear,
I submitted a question about my relationship situation around a week ago and I wanted to remind you of it. I also wanted to tell you of some recent developments! I got some advice from a friend of mine that the next time my boyfriend (?) (I forgot what I called him in the last letter so I'll call him Wolfie) and I had a date that I should see how I feel after the date and break it to him. I'm grateful for her advice, and I trusted that she had my best intentions in mind. We have been friends for a couple of years now and we've helped each other through some hard times. Well, Wolfie and I were having a doodling date that night, so I made myself some coffee and put a little liquid courage in it before heading up and getting on VC. 40 minutes into the date he started kinda asking questions, and I told him how I felt. It might have been the extra ingredient in my coffee or my guilt but what I had struggled to tell him in previous conversations just spilled out. He understood where I was coming from and, albeit close to tears, told me that it was alright and that he would be willing to wait for as long as I needed. I thought, and still think, that Wolfie has a heart of gold and everything and that he loves me, but I guess this is the same problem as the one you discussed in your latest "He Wants to Hear I Love You Back" letter, but in the opposite person's view. I haven't felt a spark and we haven't spent much time together, and so I'm really not sure how to go about this. I've only ever had 2 crushes in my life, both of which were because the guy was extremely cute/handsome and neither of which were romantic. I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I explained to Wolfie that I felt guilty in keeping him from finding someone who loved him like he loves me, but he insisted that he could be patient.
I hadn't really thought about it, but this new development has kinda made me question my romantic orientation. Am I demi? Am I aro? I've tried to read up on the romantic spectrum, and a lot of the aromantic stuff says that aromantics don't have an instinctual want for a romantic relationship, so I don't think I'm aro because I still feel the need to be held and still have some want for a relationship maybe way down the line. But at the same time, I'm not sure if I'm demi simply because my thoughts around relationships always were centered around the question of sexuality, and not so much romanticism.
I hope that this information will maybe help you keep a clearer picture of my situation.
Yours Truly,
Coffee
* * *
Dear Coffee,
You're overthinking this with regard to your sexual/romantic orientation. The reason you're having a hard time connecting romantically to Wolfie/Jake is simple: distance. You are 13 hours apart, right? Your relationship is mostly via the phone and the computer. This is a fairly new development in human relationships, so there is still much debate on social media and among sociologists and psychologists as to how feasible and practical LDRs really are. If you want Papabear's opinion, a relationship with little or no physical contact is lacking an essential ingredient that will leave both parties wanting. They simply are not satisfying.
Is it possible that, in the future, the two of you will be living in close proximity? If not, my opinion is that you are better off just being friends and that, in addition, this has no relevance to your romantic orientation. That is something you can only figure out when you've had a couple relationships of a physical nature (not meaning sex necessarily, but human beings need touch, hugs, kisses). If you do plan on living near each other or even with each other at some point, then have patience until that comes along and perhaps don't break it off just yet. Young people are always in such a hurry to make decisions about their lives that really should not be rushed into. You have time.
Hope this helps.
Hugs,
Papabear
Tomori’s Legacy, by Beryll and Osiris Brackhaus – Book Review by Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Tomori’s Legacy, by Beryll and Osiris Brackhaus.
Seattle, WA, CreateSpace, May 2018, trade paperback, $15.99 (165 pages), Kindle $4.99.
Tomori’s Legacy is the Brackhaus’ Packmasters #3. I reviewed #1, The Relics of Thiala, and #2, Raid on Sullin, favorably. This #3 is the shortest, but it’s no less rip-roaring, space-opera fun. The cover, again by Darbaras (Dávid László Tóth), features Cat, the series’ narrator.
The Packmasters series is set in a far-future interstellar community. Cat (the narrator), Ferret, Bear, and Wolf are four bestiae, bioengineered anthro-animen in hiding, led by Ana, a young human with semi-suppressed Packmaster powers. The bestiae are considered beneath contempt by most humans, and were enslaved by an arrogant cult called the Packmasters who used them to try to conquer the galaxy. The Packmasters were apparently all killed by the rest of humanity in a bloody civil war a generation ago, and the bestiae were all slaughtered except for a few that powerful humans kept as pets. Ana, a mistreated adopted orphan now in her early twenties, escapes with the help of Cat. They gather three other bestiae and discover that Ana has Packmaster powers; but instead of her using them to dominate the others, they form a pack of friends with a telempathetic bond under Ana’s leadership, Cat’s guidance, Bear’s piloting, and Wolf’s muscle (plus the mostly-childlike Ferret). They steal a luxury space yacht, the Lollipop, belonging to a corrupt human Senator, Viscount Tomori, and flee to Vandal, a distant space station towards the Fringe of the galaxy that is (what else?) “a wretched hive of scum and villainy”. But Tomori comes after them. The Relics of Thiala ends with Tomori and Bear dead. In Raid on Sullin, the remaining four form a tighter family, Bear is replaced as pilot by Ferret, and they are joined by Ten, a battle-hardened gazelle who is no less deadly for being a herbivore.
To quote the beginning of the blurb for Tomori’s Legacy, “Viscount Tomori is long dead, but his affairs just don’t want to rest in peace.
[…] Now Ana and her pack are part of the power struggle among the crime lords of the Rim, and have to return to Darkside before things get out of hand.”
The climax of The Relics of Thiala is the bestiae and Ana stealing Viscount Tomori’s space yacht and fleeing to Vandal, a criminally-owned space station; Tomori’s coming after them; and the fight in which he and Bear are killed. Raid on Sullin begins with the authorities of Vandal ruling that they acted in legitimate self-defense, and “to the victor belongs the spoils”. Ana, Cat, Ferret, and Wolf are the new owners of the Lollipop. They are immediately sidetracked into the adventure of Raid on Sullin.
Tomori’s Legacy begins with their return (with Ten, the gazelle) to Vandal, where they are stunned to learn that they weren’t given only the Lollipop. They are the new owners of all Tomori’s property. Since he had run his clan as his personal possession, they now own his criminal businesses, including a shitload of thugs and schemers who each want to take over and become the new boss of Clan Tomori.
Yuki Tomori, the Viscount’s niece, spells it out for them:
“‘Maybe you are not aware of the extent of the Syndicate’s aggravation with us. They have cut off all our business connections and frozen our accounts. Our products are stacking up with no way for us to sell. We simply can’t afford to have you killed. If this continues just a few more weeks, Clan Tomori will cease to exist. And you will walk away empty-handed.’
[…]
‘I see,’ Ana said slowly. Judging from the way I sensed her thoughts racing, she was scrambling to understand what was going on as well. ‘And what do you propose?’
‘Come back to Darkside. Assume control of Clan businesses. The Syndicate has made it clear that they will accept nothing less as proof that you have indeed claimed your due. Only then will they stop blocking us.’” (p. 18)
“Unaware of the fact that we were just now catching up to what she was talking about, Miss Tomori continued. ‘I will be honest with you: Comtessa Tomori, the late Viscount’s wife, has ordered me to agree tp anything you might demand and promise you everything to lure you back to Darkside, but she will be plotting against you the moment you step off your ship. The idea of losing control of the Clan to an outsider infuriates her to no end. She hated the Viscount as much as everyone else did, but she obviously wants to lead the Clan herself now and one day pass it on to her son, Kato. You have been to Darkside. You know what a cesspit of human refuse it is.’ She smiled slyly. ‘I, however, have only to gain under your leadership. The Viscount had my mother and father, who was his brother, killed when I was very young. He only kept me around as a curiosity and even now I am used as the expendable sacrifice by being sent to talk to you. I know that the Comtessa fully expected you to have me killed as her first messenger. So I pledge to you my loyalty and swear to serve you.’
What a dangerous viper. If I had needed any more convincing that this woman could not be trusted, this would have been it.
‘Can I have the hot chocolate with ice cream?’ Ferret interrupted Miss Tomori’s scheming.” (p. 19)
Ana and the bestiae, despite their misgivings, go to Darkside, a deadly desert world. They plan to stay only long enough to free the bestiae there under criminal gangs’ control, although they can certainly use the profits from Clan Tomori’s businesses. They have some advantages that the Clan doesn’t know about, such as their telempathetic bond, Ferret’s apparent naïve childishness (now mostly an act), and Cat’s pretending to be a barely-controlled predator:
“At least I looked the part of [a] dangerous criminal. The various scrapes I had been in during our recent adventures had taught me that I needed better protection, so I had spent some of our hard-earned money buying some pieces of armour. Granted, I had picked them more for how cool they made me look than how good they actually were. The armguards were useful for storing additional knives and the new jacket had a deep hood that hid my ears and with a little squinting made me look like some sort of sinister assassin. Being an all-black cat would have helped a lot, but my pink nose and the cheerful colour of my fur were things I’d just have to live with.” (p. 36)
What will Ana and the others encounter on Darkside? Can Yuki Tomori be trusted, or will she betray them – and how? What unexpected surprises will Cat and the other bestiae get? Tomori’s Legacy ends on a cheerful note, but with the reader looking forward to Packmasters #4.
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