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My 3 attempts at digital art from old to new
Categories: News
A Difficult Past Has Made Him Defensive; Now He Needs to Learn to Trust Again
Hello, it's me again,
First a little follow up of my last letter, I forgave Apple for the robbery, he has slowed on his drug use as well as bought himself a quad which keeps him busy and off drugs :D
Since my last letter, a lot has happened, I left my home town, I traveled for awhile, I lived in a few places, I've met so many people, I saw lot of things, made a few new friends, even attended my first furry con, which really made me happy. Right now, I'm in college training to be a forestry firefighter; in two more weeks I'll be certified. I'll be protecting the forest and adding support in any disaster, Canadian or American.
But in travels, I've realized something: in my last letter, I mentioned that me and Apple were in a "Bad Environment" living there. I, without knowing it, put my personality in a shell. I can't freely express myself; my voice is deeper than normal; I stand tall rather then my normal relaxed stance; people who judge me based on my physical look often think I am angry or unhappy, when I could be just bored or shy. I also have trouble carrying a conversation. Since at home I didn't really talk, if I do talk it's usually short, quick replies straight to the point. I do this out of reflex. I wanted to know if you knew a way I could break this shell, express my personality, and speak more freely.
I'm interested in finding a mate, but if I can't express myself or learn to carry a conversation, I imagine that I'm not going to even have a relationship D:
Hale
* * *
Dear Hale,
I am glad you and Apple have reconciled, and it’s good that he is using fewer drugs, but it really won’t be “mission accomplished” until he is off them completely. I hope he gets there.
I’m also very proud of you for pursuing an awesome career in fighting forest fires. That’s a difficult and brave and generous thing to do!
As you’ve surmised, your behavior around people has been heavily influenced by the environment in which you grew up. Your penchant for being terse with your language and even your body posture are all defense mechanisms, shields used to defend yourself from being hurt. You are probably correct that your speech and mannerisms might be off-putting to potential mates.
You can take two approaches to changing how you behave. In the behavior-therapy approach, you focus on consciously changing your behavior, forcing yourself to stand in a more relaxed position and to answer questions with longer, more detailed responses. If you practice this enough, eventually these adjusted behaviors will become second nature to you, just as, say, forcing yourself to do a backflip will eventually make backflips quite easy to perform. How you improve in this area is to work on it incrementally. Each day, consciously think of relaxing your posture, especially when around others; also, when someone talks to you, instead of, say, replying with a simple “yes” or “no,” Pause and think for a second and add a sentence or two to your reply. If you can’t think of something relevant to the question, then, after answering the question, ask the other person something about him or herself. In other words, consciously become engaged in the other person; be curious about his or her life. Example:
Acquaintance: “Hi, there! How are you today?”
You: “Fine. Same old thing.... Um, hey, you’re John’s friend, right? Do you guys work together? etc. etc.”
Try to initiate a dialogue instead of just replying and offering the minimally required response. You might benefit from reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Much of the material in the book seems like common sense, but common sense is not so common anymore, apparently.
The other approach is to address what is going on inside you and, by doing so, your outward behavior should change organically. To do so, you will need to explore and understand why you have all these mistrust issues to begin with (you might wish to consult a professional on this one). Second, you need to find people whom you can trust as friends and establish healthy relationships with them. Remembering that trust is a two-way street, start by doing small, kind things for others and see who will reciprocate, when the time is appropriate. Other things you can do to gain someone’s trust are: 1) be respectful of other people’s time (i.e., e.g., don’t show up late when you agree to meet someone); 2) make eye contact when talking to people; 3) similarly, don’t be afraid of touching others, including handshakes, a touch on the shoulder, or even a hug, if appropriate; 4) if someone tells you something in confidence, respect that absolutely; 5) be reliable; and 6) always be kind and considerate. It takes a long time to establish a new, trusting relationship (and this approach is much slower than the behavior modification method), but doing so will help you get out of your shell.
By becoming a more trusting, sociable person, you will be able to alter your behavior so that you become a more open, welcoming personality. And when your personality is more inviting, you will find that others will be more attracted to you, making finding a mate much more likely.
Hugs,
Papabear
First a little follow up of my last letter, I forgave Apple for the robbery, he has slowed on his drug use as well as bought himself a quad which keeps him busy and off drugs :D
Since my last letter, a lot has happened, I left my home town, I traveled for awhile, I lived in a few places, I've met so many people, I saw lot of things, made a few new friends, even attended my first furry con, which really made me happy. Right now, I'm in college training to be a forestry firefighter; in two more weeks I'll be certified. I'll be protecting the forest and adding support in any disaster, Canadian or American.
But in travels, I've realized something: in my last letter, I mentioned that me and Apple were in a "Bad Environment" living there. I, without knowing it, put my personality in a shell. I can't freely express myself; my voice is deeper than normal; I stand tall rather then my normal relaxed stance; people who judge me based on my physical look often think I am angry or unhappy, when I could be just bored or shy. I also have trouble carrying a conversation. Since at home I didn't really talk, if I do talk it's usually short, quick replies straight to the point. I do this out of reflex. I wanted to know if you knew a way I could break this shell, express my personality, and speak more freely.
I'm interested in finding a mate, but if I can't express myself or learn to carry a conversation, I imagine that I'm not going to even have a relationship D:
Hale
* * *
Dear Hale,
I am glad you and Apple have reconciled, and it’s good that he is using fewer drugs, but it really won’t be “mission accomplished” until he is off them completely. I hope he gets there.
I’m also very proud of you for pursuing an awesome career in fighting forest fires. That’s a difficult and brave and generous thing to do!
As you’ve surmised, your behavior around people has been heavily influenced by the environment in which you grew up. Your penchant for being terse with your language and even your body posture are all defense mechanisms, shields used to defend yourself from being hurt. You are probably correct that your speech and mannerisms might be off-putting to potential mates.
You can take two approaches to changing how you behave. In the behavior-therapy approach, you focus on consciously changing your behavior, forcing yourself to stand in a more relaxed position and to answer questions with longer, more detailed responses. If you practice this enough, eventually these adjusted behaviors will become second nature to you, just as, say, forcing yourself to do a backflip will eventually make backflips quite easy to perform. How you improve in this area is to work on it incrementally. Each day, consciously think of relaxing your posture, especially when around others; also, when someone talks to you, instead of, say, replying with a simple “yes” or “no,” Pause and think for a second and add a sentence or two to your reply. If you can’t think of something relevant to the question, then, after answering the question, ask the other person something about him or herself. In other words, consciously become engaged in the other person; be curious about his or her life. Example:
Acquaintance: “Hi, there! How are you today?”
You: “Fine. Same old thing.... Um, hey, you’re John’s friend, right? Do you guys work together? etc. etc.”
Try to initiate a dialogue instead of just replying and offering the minimally required response. You might benefit from reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Much of the material in the book seems like common sense, but common sense is not so common anymore, apparently.
The other approach is to address what is going on inside you and, by doing so, your outward behavior should change organically. To do so, you will need to explore and understand why you have all these mistrust issues to begin with (you might wish to consult a professional on this one). Second, you need to find people whom you can trust as friends and establish healthy relationships with them. Remembering that trust is a two-way street, start by doing small, kind things for others and see who will reciprocate, when the time is appropriate. Other things you can do to gain someone’s trust are: 1) be respectful of other people’s time (i.e., e.g., don’t show up late when you agree to meet someone); 2) make eye contact when talking to people; 3) similarly, don’t be afraid of touching others, including handshakes, a touch on the shoulder, or even a hug, if appropriate; 4) if someone tells you something in confidence, respect that absolutely; 5) be reliable; and 6) always be kind and considerate. It takes a long time to establish a new, trusting relationship (and this approach is much slower than the behavior modification method), but doing so will help you get out of your shell.
By becoming a more trusting, sociable person, you will be able to alter your behavior so that you become a more open, welcoming personality. And when your personality is more inviting, you will find that others will be more attracted to you, making finding a mate much more likely.
Hugs,
Papabear
A Difficult Past Has Made Him Defensive; Now He Needs to Learn to Trust Again
Hello, it's me again,
First a little follow up of my last letter, I forgave Apple for the robbery, he has slowed on his drug use as well as bought himself a quad which keeps him busy and off drugs :D
Since my last letter, a lot has happened, I left my home town, I traveled for awhile, I lived in a few places, I've met so many people, I saw lot of things, made a few new friends, even attended my first furry con, which really made me happy. Right now, I'm in college training to be a forestry firefighter; in two more weeks I'll be certified. I'll be protecting the forest and adding support in any disaster, Canadian or American.
But in travels, I've realized something: in my last letter, I mentioned that me and Apple were in a "Bad Environment" living there. I, without knowing it, put my personality in a shell. I can't freely express myself; my voice is deeper than normal; I stand tall rather then my normal relaxed stance; people who judge me based on my physical look often think I am angry or unhappy, when I could be just bored or shy. I also have trouble carrying a conversation. Since at home I didn't really talk, if I do talk it's usually short, quick replies straight to the point. I do this out of reflex. I wanted to know if you knew a way I could break this shell, express my personality, and speak more freely.
I'm interested in finding a mate, but if I can't express myself or learn to carry a conversation, I imagine that I'm not going to even have a relationship D:
Hale
* * *
Dear Hale,
I am glad you and Apple have reconciled, and it’s good that he is using fewer drugs, but it really won’t be “mission accomplished” until he is off them completely. I hope he gets there.
I’m also very proud of you for pursuing an awesome career in fighting forest fires. That’s a difficult and brave and generous thing to do!
As you’ve surmised, your behavior around people has been heavily influenced by the environment in which you grew up. Your penchant for being terse with your language and even your body posture are all defense mechanisms, shields used to defend yourself from being hurt. You are probably correct that your speech and mannerisms might be off-putting to potential mates.
You can take two approaches to changing how you behave. In the behavior-therapy approach, you focus on consciously changing your behavior, forcing yourself to stand in a more relaxed position and to answer questions with longer, more detailed responses. If you practice this enough, eventually these adjusted behaviors will become second nature to you, just as, say, forcing yourself to do a backflip will eventually make backflips quite easy to perform. How you improve in this area is to work on it incrementally. Each day, consciously think of relaxing your posture, especially when around others; also, when someone talks to you, instead of, say, replying with a simple “yes” or “no,” Pause and think for a second and add a sentence or two to your reply. If you can’t think of something relevant to the question, then, after answering the question, ask the other person something about him or herself. In other words, consciously become engaged in the other person; be curious about his or her life. Example:
Acquaintance: “Hi, there! How are you today?”
You: “Fine. Same old thing.... Um, hey, you’re John’s friend, right? Do you guys work together? etc. etc.”
Try to initiate a dialogue instead of just replying and offering the minimally required response. You might benefit from reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Much of the material in the book seems like common sense, but common sense is not so common anymore, apparently.
The other approach is to address what is going on inside you and, by doing so, your outward behavior should change organically. To do so, you will need to explore and understand why you have all these mistrust issues to begin with (you might wish to consult a professional on this one). Second, you need to find people whom you can trust as friends and establish healthy relationships with them. Remembering that trust is a two-way street, start by doing small, kind things for others and see who will reciprocate, when the time is appropriate. Other things you can do to gain someone’s trust are: 1) be respectful of other people’s time (i.e., e.g., don’t show up late when you agree to meet someone); 2) make eye contact when talking to people; 3) similarly, don’t be afraid of touching others, including handshakes, a touch on the shoulder, or even a hug, if appropriate; 4) if someone tells you something in confidence, respect that absolutely; 5) be reliable; and 6) always be kind and considerate. It takes a long time to establish a new, trusting relationship (and this approach is much slower than the behavior modification method), but doing so will help you get out of your shell.
By becoming a more trusting, sociable person, you will be able to alter your behavior so that you become a more open, welcoming personality. And when your personality is more inviting, you will find that others will be more attracted to you, making finding a mate much more likely.
Hugs,
Papabear
First a little follow up of my last letter, I forgave Apple for the robbery, he has slowed on his drug use as well as bought himself a quad which keeps him busy and off drugs :D
Since my last letter, a lot has happened, I left my home town, I traveled for awhile, I lived in a few places, I've met so many people, I saw lot of things, made a few new friends, even attended my first furry con, which really made me happy. Right now, I'm in college training to be a forestry firefighter; in two more weeks I'll be certified. I'll be protecting the forest and adding support in any disaster, Canadian or American.
But in travels, I've realized something: in my last letter, I mentioned that me and Apple were in a "Bad Environment" living there. I, without knowing it, put my personality in a shell. I can't freely express myself; my voice is deeper than normal; I stand tall rather then my normal relaxed stance; people who judge me based on my physical look often think I am angry or unhappy, when I could be just bored or shy. I also have trouble carrying a conversation. Since at home I didn't really talk, if I do talk it's usually short, quick replies straight to the point. I do this out of reflex. I wanted to know if you knew a way I could break this shell, express my personality, and speak more freely.
I'm interested in finding a mate, but if I can't express myself or learn to carry a conversation, I imagine that I'm not going to even have a relationship D:
Hale
* * *
Dear Hale,
I am glad you and Apple have reconciled, and it’s good that he is using fewer drugs, but it really won’t be “mission accomplished” until he is off them completely. I hope he gets there.
I’m also very proud of you for pursuing an awesome career in fighting forest fires. That’s a difficult and brave and generous thing to do!
As you’ve surmised, your behavior around people has been heavily influenced by the environment in which you grew up. Your penchant for being terse with your language and even your body posture are all defense mechanisms, shields used to defend yourself from being hurt. You are probably correct that your speech and mannerisms might be off-putting to potential mates.
You can take two approaches to changing how you behave. In the behavior-therapy approach, you focus on consciously changing your behavior, forcing yourself to stand in a more relaxed position and to answer questions with longer, more detailed responses. If you practice this enough, eventually these adjusted behaviors will become second nature to you, just as, say, forcing yourself to do a backflip will eventually make backflips quite easy to perform. How you improve in this area is to work on it incrementally. Each day, consciously think of relaxing your posture, especially when around others; also, when someone talks to you, instead of, say, replying with a simple “yes” or “no,” Pause and think for a second and add a sentence or two to your reply. If you can’t think of something relevant to the question, then, after answering the question, ask the other person something about him or herself. In other words, consciously become engaged in the other person; be curious about his or her life. Example:
Acquaintance: “Hi, there! How are you today?”
You: “Fine. Same old thing.... Um, hey, you’re John’s friend, right? Do you guys work together? etc. etc.”
Try to initiate a dialogue instead of just replying and offering the minimally required response. You might benefit from reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. Much of the material in the book seems like common sense, but common sense is not so common anymore, apparently.
The other approach is to address what is going on inside you and, by doing so, your outward behavior should change organically. To do so, you will need to explore and understand why you have all these mistrust issues to begin with (you might wish to consult a professional on this one). Second, you need to find people whom you can trust as friends and establish healthy relationships with them. Remembering that trust is a two-way street, start by doing small, kind things for others and see who will reciprocate, when the time is appropriate. Other things you can do to gain someone’s trust are: 1) be respectful of other people’s time (i.e., e.g., don’t show up late when you agree to meet someone); 2) make eye contact when talking to people; 3) similarly, don’t be afraid of touching others, including handshakes, a touch on the shoulder, or even a hug, if appropriate; 4) if someone tells you something in confidence, respect that absolutely; 5) be reliable; and 6) always be kind and considerate. It takes a long time to establish a new, trusting relationship (and this approach is much slower than the behavior modification method), but doing so will help you get out of your shell.
By becoming a more trusting, sociable person, you will be able to alter your behavior so that you become a more open, welcoming personality. And when your personality is more inviting, you will find that others will be more attracted to you, making finding a mate much more likely.
Hugs,
Papabear
Scritt Streaming a Sergal Sketch
Dat alliteration.
Anyway, I should be live here when this post is 2 minutes old: https://furstre.am/stream/Scritt
When the stream is over, I will delete this thread and post the results instead :3
submitted by PowerRaptor[link] [comment]
Categories: News
His Friend Asked Him Not to Tell His Family about Being Furry
Author: Hi Papabear. I just started getting into the fandom as my New Year’s resolution after being inspired and shown by a fur on Twitter, as if a whole new world opened up before me, something that I came to realize over the years that I jokingly sorta refused in a way XD LOL. Anyways, […]
Categories: News
Rat Assassins, Bear Warcasters, Wolf Warriors and Rabbit Seekers, only a day left of the Armello board style videogame kickstarter campaign!
Categories: News
Ripped off by zeta paws. What can I do?
Sorry if this post is 'inappropriate' for this subreddit. There is nowhere else to ask.
Almost a year ago I placed an order for over 300 dollars worth of stuff. It wasn't stated anywhere on their website that items are made to order and will take a ridiculous amount of time to arrive. If you go through the FAQ and look at any of the product pages there is nothing. It is implied that your order is ready to ship already. This is unacceptable and deceptive to customers.
I have since lodged 4 tickets, requesting a refund. ALL of them have been ignored. And there is nothing legally I can do because I live in Australia. What can I do?
submitted by FurriesRuinEverythin[link] [22 comments]
Categories: News
Do you like furry art? (NSFW OR SFW)
I'm new to this site but thought i'd try to get my name out there a bit. If you like cheap furry art try checking out my gallery on Furaffinity.
I do YCH, pinups, refsheets, and even icons! i'll draw anything! :3
check out my commissions tab here! http://www.furaffinity.net/user/frozenover/
submitted by FenniWolf[link] [1 comment]
Categories: News
Super Suits!
Imagine if your fur-suit was not just a costume, but was actually a super-powered alien that molds itself around your body, giving you super powers too! Of course, it complicates matters when the leader of your super-hero team is also “frenemies” with the super-villain! That, in a nutshell, is the idea behind Zoodorables, a line of clothing, toys, and artwork created by Han L. Lee. The Zoodorables web site features the current products, as well as updates on a possible Zoodorables game and some animation in the works.
image c. 2014 by Han L. Lee
Categories: News
KnotCast: Episode 251 – Be Glad You’re A Furry
Author: KnotCast@foxstuffers.com This week on Knotcast, Savrin has returned from his adventures in California. He tells tales of adventure, food, and as you’d expect, some crazy bullcrap pony drama that would never fly in the furry community.. seriously. Use our coupon code ‘knot’ at AdamEve.com for a great deal! Episode 251 – Be Glad You’re […]
KnotCast: Episode 251 – Be Glad You’re A Furry
Categories: News
/r/topgear is invading /r/hamsters. Can anyone pull up a quick sketch of Richard Hammond as a hamster snoo?
This is the most adorable invasion I've ever seen. Someone help me make it even more adorable!
Reference: https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4948362496/hD2B6C874/
submitted by InfintySquared[link] [1 comment]
Categories: News
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/hg9AmhL.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/FYgvfTg.png){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/CqwikGh.jpg?1){kind=link}
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/NyZg2go.png){kind=link}
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