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Dear Papabear, 

I am in a relationship with a codependent, and I am miserable. I'm a rather conflict-avoidant type person, and so when I have tried to do it in the past, I have been emotionally manipulated to stay in the relationship. Crying and anger are the two things I have the least ability to deal with.... I even moved to a different city in the hope that the distance would make him loose interest and move on.... That has not worked. I have been reading a lot of articles about breaking up with a codependent, and some of them say that doing it by letter or email might be the only effective way to do it for a conflict avoidant person.... I guess I just needed advice ... and maybe someone to assure me that I’m going the right direction.

Jack the Rabbit (age 24)

* * *

Dear Jack,

Codependent people, as you have experienced, are extremely clingy and emotionally manipulative. If moving to a different city didn’t work, trying to break things off with a letter or email is unlikely to work, too.

There are two people making this relationship continue as it is. You are just as guilty of continuing the suffering as he is, and you acknowledge this by writing that you can’t deal with his crying and being angry at you. Therefore, the first person you have to work on is you. You have to develop, well, a stronger backbone. Realizing that his hissy fits are actually not genuine but are his weapons for getting what he wants will help you a lot. 

Have you seen The Matrix? In that film, objects were not real and could therefore be avoided or moved mentally by those who realized they were just shadows generated by a sophisticated computer. A bullet is not a bullet and, therefore, can be plucked out of the air with your fingers or made to drop harmlessly on the ground. It’s the same with your codependent’s tears and yelling. They are not real. Yes, his extreme desire to cling to you like a leech is real, but he uses these other things as tools only. Treat them as the shadows they are, and they will cease to have power over you.

Next, you need to tell him, in person, that you no longer wish to be his mate. Do this without blaming anyone, but do it firmly, without equivocation, without hesitation. Be kind, but be clear that you are breaking up.

Finally, you need to follow through by never ever backing out of what you said. My sense is that you’ve backed down before, and this always encourages the codependent because they decide that your announcements that the relationship is off hold no weight. So! Once you tell him it’s over, you need to mean it and not let him get his foot back in the door, capisce?

Codependent relationships are unhealthy, so you are making the right decision to break it off. But you need to do so from a position of strength or else it won’t work.

Good luck!

Papabear

For anyone that would like to play with other people in the community.

Post your Nintendo ID(Maybe Steam too.), what characters you play, how you feel about your skill, when you are usually available to play, and anything else you want to mention. :)

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I am proud to announce I've launched InkedFur on Friday, where you can buy general and adult prints at a variety sizes from 19 artists! Artists include Tsai Wolf, Jijix, Morticus, Rezzy, Masahikoko, Ulos12, and Zhivago (just to name a few).

Currently for Monday, if you buy four prints, you get one for free! Make sure to check us out and let us know what you think.

Visit us at https://inkedfur.com.

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Hi i was wondering what the best furry themed stuff is that you can get on Amazon.ca for around 5 and 10 dollars. Thanks.

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Author: studio@xanacreations.com (..::XANA::.. Creations) http://furcast.fm/logos/furcast-2013.png With just Paradox and Fayroe in the studio we churn through some interesting and also hilarious news, finish off a great round of emails and somehow end up nearly drunk at the end of the episode despite not drinking anything. Well then. See you all at MFF! Download MP3 (Right-click, […] FC-185 Naked Knight

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Hey! :3

I'm still working on my sona and I'd like some ideas. I don't really wanna write out a short story for him quite yet...but I would like to do a "FAQ" type thing. Does that make sense? If so, what sort of questions should I use?

I'm open to going into detail further via PM or Skype. (kidinabearsuit@outlook.com)

Thanks, furs <3

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This week’s illustration is from surreal Italian graphic novel/novel “La Storia dell Orso” on Indiegogo. 

Is this possibly a side effect of the recent deregulation of Kickstarter as an “anything goes” medium, or a result of their strange funding/voting model and price structure? I can’t tell. But it looks like Offbeatr, the crowdfunding site devoted exclusively to adult content, is in a state of deep fail. As of this moment, there is only one project funding on Offbeatr, and it’s only at $40 of its $1200 goal. A pretty weak showing, and that funder will have to pay something like $100 for their effort.

Hard to say exactly what this means. A more educated public really doesn’t NEED Offbeatr–its 30% fees are harsh, and a well-framed Indiegogo page can do as much to advertise your project. And fortunately or unfortunately, most of the traffic to a given project is driven by the poster, not the hosting site.

More on adult crowdfunding in the near future, promise.

Reviews this week: The latest in gryfon novels, “A Shard of Sun.”

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For a “complete” list of furry/fur-friendly crowdfunding projects, check out the Project Page and Patreon Page! New Projects Books/Print

Kingdom of Fur (Ends: 1/16/2015)
A 45+page art anthology book with over 15 artists.
Interestingly, all art is from DeviantArt artists? Hmm. Not sure why. Very weak response for a fairly nice product, I think the artists aren’t promoting it.

My Last Week As a Dog (Ends: 1/18/2015)
This one’s not taking off, but I like it. A book about the love and loss of an animal, through both its owners’ eyes and the dog’s eyes.
Unfortuantely no support as of 11/30.

Kyell Gold on Patreon (Patreon Ongoing Funding)
Furry novelist Kyell Gold working on his his next novel

Children’s Products

Wikiduca (Ends: 1/18/2015)
I THINK this is a Spanish educational card game with some strong Pokemon influences. It’s cute, anyway. And in Spanish.

Comics/Graphic Novels

The Questorverse Crossover (Ends: 12/24/2014)
Anthro raccoon webcomic char 11111 comes to a graphic novel with LOTS of walk-on parts.
Hmm, nearly at goal as of 11/30. Is creating a crossover between your OWN characters really a thing?

Film/Animation/Theater

Characterz (Ends: 12/22/2014)
A dysfunctional bunch of mascots at an amusement park with a broken spirit. There may very well be a montage of learning to wear the costume.

Toys

Handmade Creature Creations (Ends: 12/24/2014)
Handsome kitten-griffs made of faux fur, one of a kind pieces of art-toy.
I was really surprised to see how high quality the faux fur was here, I was sure it was real!

Animal Assasins (Ends: 12/26/2014)
Armor-wearing, killer koala designer toy.

Tentacle Kitty (Ends: 12/30/2014)
Adorbs squid-kitty, and it changes color from rediculous purple to twee pink!

Video Games

Viktor: A Steampunk Adventure (Ends: 12/19/2014)
Viktor’s point-and-click quest to become the emperor of Austria-Hungary. Cute stuff, very PBS Kids.

Adult

Unpopular Tales: Little Red Riding Hood (Ends: 12/23/2014)
An adult, eroticized retelling of the (already kind of smutty) Little Red. Not exactly furry, but there IS a wolf, no telling how that’s going to turn out.
Not terribly furry and maybe a little exploitation-y, but high quality art.

…Also by furries

Strange Worlds (Ends: 12/31/2014): A webcomic by UndeadChickenNugget. Sci-fi space comic with some nice art, pretty high quality at least prelaunch.

…Causes

No Laughing Matter: Hyena Conservatory (Ends: 12/24/2014): A study of brown and striped hyenas in Zimbabwe. Got $5000? Want to stay a week at a hyena reserve? Act now!

…Just for fun

Light Art Photography (Ends: 1/28/2015): Funding for an ongoing light art project, pretty if not original, but no support so far and perks aren’t very compelling.

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