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I went in to donate blood today. I made sure I had all the paperwork they needed. I got in the chair, all hooked up for giving blood, and I had to stop. Not even five minutes in and my blood clotted. Good news is that I feel fine seeing my blood now, and no longer afraid of giving my blood.

I made a furry version of the Navy SEAL copypasta. How can I make it better?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I reached the top of the page on FurAffinity, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret conventions worldwide, and I have over 300 confirmed yiffs. I am trained in gorilla fursuiting and I’m the top suiter in the entire US furry fandom. You are nothing to me but just another weeaboo. I will yiff the fuck out of you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of artists across all of FA and your name is being added to Artist Beware right now so you better prepare for the storm, weeb. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your customer base. You’re fucking done, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can yiff you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare paws. Not only am I extensively trained in unprotected sex, but I have access to the entire collection of the cub porn you've drawn and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of FA, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit furries all over you and you will drown in them. You’re fucking done, kiddo.