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[Papabear note: Over the course of the last week, I have received mail protesting a nominee for the Good Furry Awards. Below is my response.]

[From a person who describes themself as a "greymuzzle investigator"]:

I would like to speak as a person who has observed the behavior of Sotalo. With evidence from Dogpatch Press (Screenshots of Sotalo's penchant for drama), I've also personally experienced him. He's a hostile person who tries to destabilize anyone who disagrees with him or exposes his behaviors. He's childish and attacks people quickly. I discovered him through my own connections, a furry I've been tracking for years who is a well-known pedophile. By proxy, said furry (Tuskyn) had come in contact with people that Sotalo has been in contact with, and features in his museum if I recall (I have not personally visited it). Sotalo has gone on record multiple times saying he wishes the age of consent was lower than 18.

Furthermore, I have to ask... Why do you allow people to nominate themselves in such a way for such rewards? This just reeks of self ego inflating. That should disqualify, these awards should be nominations by their communities, by those they've touched, not themselves. I saw where his draft of his self nomination was.

His museum is not unique. It also does not cover 'the fandom', but people -he- personally finds interesting or 'worthy of being historical'. This includes many people who have a foot fetish who perk his interest, as well as those who are associated with the Furry Raiders or other pedophile furries.

In recent drama, Sotalo was part of a PR representation of a convention that wasn't even in his own state, and he frequently got verbally violent with anyone who questioned him. The PR was brought because the convention welcomed the Furry Raiders, well known Nazi furs (complete with red armbands) who allow pedophiles into their groups (This is part of ANOTHER Tuskyn connection, since he is part of the raiders now as well.) He claimed Dogpatch Press was spreading misinformation by linking literal screenshots of Sotalo's own messages in an open group. He claimed that the convention failed because of him, and not the fact that they welcomed the Furry Raiders, a group that the fandom has long sense rejected for their hate, as well as one of them that brought Fox News into the convention the year prior against con-goers' consent being welcomed back. He was forced to defend the convention's image, and defend literal nazis by doing so. I do not use the term 'nazi' as an insult or lightly.

This man still attacks dogpatch, as well as anyone who dares speak up against him or offer a means of him to act more mature. He also attacks anyone who questions his comments on wanting to marry/have sex with teenagers under 18.

You will have a lot of people losing faith in your awards you select this man.

And I will say once more... Why do you allow people to nominate themselves? It feels like it is done in bad faith.

* * *

Dear X:

​First of all, Sotalo did not nominate himself. I personally know the furry who nominated them. Sotalo did not know he was nominated until I told him. (Also, I never "allow" people to nominate themselves; it specifically says in the rules you cannot do that.)

Another accusation I got from someone else was that the nomination was written by AI. It was not. If the grammar looks too good, it is because I clean up the text. I'm a professional editor.

Thirdly, I have investigated the claims I have heard. I have also spoken with people I respect (including Rod O'Riley) who have defended Sotalo. I also know that the late great Mark Merlino believed that the museum was well done and just needed some additions.

I have also spoken with Sotalo at length. I am satisfied by our long discussions that he in no way supports the FR or Nazis. How do I know? Because if you support the FR, you don't say, "Why would anyone support Nazis?"

By the way, it is highly interesting to me that you yourself say you have not visited the VR Furry Museum, yet you are disparaging the contents of a museum you haven't even seen. Also, you assign guilt to Sotalo for apparently coming into contact with people who have come into contact with Tuskyn. By such logic, I'm guilty too, because I probably know someone in the fandom who knows someone who knows someone who knows Tuskyn.

Also, you might not be aware, but the age of consent in 15 states in the USA is under 18. Many people feel it should be 16. So, if it is indeed Sotalo's position that the age of consent should be, say, 16, he is not alone and that doesn't make him a pedophile.
​​
What we have here in Sotalo is someone who is not adept at social situations. As Rod explained to me, Sotalo can has been known to behave in inappropriate and even aggressive ways that turn people off. But he is not a Nazi lover. I believe he is on the spectrum. People on the spectrum can have outbursts and be difficult to deal with (I have a grandson who is, so I know from personal experience.) People on the spectrum can also react frightfully bad to OTHER people on the spectrum for perceived bad behavior.

For the last several years, I have also observed furries having knee-jerk reactions to what they believe to be a person associating with bad actors (either fascist or communist) and then proceeding to try and trash their reputations out of some ill-conceived, egotistical belief that it is their job to gatekeep the fandom. It is not. This is the same attitude that has made our society malignant with the likes of the Tea Baggers, MAGAts, and TERFs.

You and others who have threatened to trash the reputation of the Good Furry Awards are behaving like gatekeepers. (Yes, you did. It was an implied threat.) The nominees are chosen by people in the fandom, not me. If you don't like the museum or have a personal beef with Sotalo, then don't vote for him. If nobody but one or two furries likes Sotalo, then that certainly means he will not win an award.

I sincerely doubt you actually care about the reputation of the GFAs (or the fandom in general). I believe you and others are trying to weaponise the awards to alienate and disenfranchise people you personally do not like.

I fully suspect that leaving Sotalo's nomination up will result in his haters launching a campaign against the GFAs. That's okay. I've dealt with behavior like this before in the fandom, and I am sure I will again. I've seen other people who are my friends get trashed too. Oh, and someone threatened to dox me once! LOL that is not a threat. Literally everyone knows I am a sexually open gay furry bear. They know my address, phone number, email etc. etc., too.

It might profit you to spend a little less time hating others and a little more time trying to find the good in your fellow furries.

Blessed Be,
Grubbs Grizzly, Admin, the GFAs

P.S. Just for the record: Of course, if someone has a criminal record or other documented illegal activity, they will not be given a space in these awards. 

TigerTails Radio Season 16 Episode 23 Join the Discord Chat: https://discord.gg/SQ5QuRf Join the Telegram Chat: https://t.me/+yold2C77m0I1MmM0 Visit the website at http://www.tigertailsradio.co.uk. See website for full breakdown of any song credits, which is usually updated shortly after the show. Credits: Opening music: Magic by Hedge Haiden (Double Hedge Studios) Character art: Fitzroy Fox - https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lunara-toons / https://bsky.app/profile/fitzroyfox.bsky.social Background art: Charleston Rat - https://www.furaffinity.net/user/charlestonrat / https://bsky.app/profile/charlestonrat.bsky.social If you like what we do and wish to throw some pennies our way to support us, please consider sending a little tip our way. https://streamlabs.com/tigertailsradio/tip * Please note, tips are made to support TigerTails Radio and are assumed as made with good faith, so are therefore non-refundable. Thank you for your support and understanding.

TigerTails Radio Season 16 Episode 24 Join the Discord Chat: https://discord.gg/SQ5QuRf Join the Telegram Chat: https://t.me/+yold2C77m0I1MmM0 Visit the website at http://www.tigertailsradio.co.uk. See website for full breakdown of any song credits, which is usually updated shortly after the show. Credits: Opening music: Magic by Hedge Haiden (Double Hedge Studios) Character art: Fitzroy Fox - https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lunara-toons / https://bsky.app/profile/fitzroyfox.bsky.social Background art: Charleston Rat - https://www.furaffinity.net/user/charlestonrat / https://bsky.app/profile/charlestonrat.bsky.social If you like what we do and wish to throw some pennies our way to support us, please consider sending a little tip our way. https://streamlabs.com/tigertailsradio/tip * Please note, tips are made to support TigerTails Radio and are assumed as made with good faith, so are therefore non-refundable. Thank you for your support and understanding.

Twenty years ago writer Grant Morrison and artist Frank Quitely knocked it outta the park (again) with a limited comic book series called WE3: “Deep inside a top-secret U.S. Air Force research facility, a revolution in cybernetics is taking shape. Using ordinary domestic animals for their test subjects, the scientists of Project AWE have created a new class of cyborgs — flesh-and-metal creatures designed to rule the battlefields of tomorrow. The project’s crowning achievement is a trio of prototypes code-named WE3 — each one custom-built and trained to work as specialists within a team. With their nervous systems enhanced and supplemented by cutting-edge military hardware, WE3 are the ultimate smart weapons — programmable yet autonomous, loyal yet utterly ruthless. But successful as they are, WE3 are still only prototypes, to be dismantled when their testing is complete. Inside their fearsome mechanical shells, however, are three lost pets whose amplified traits include the will to survive— an instinct which proves to be even stronger than their makers knew. Faced with destruction, WE3 runs —out into a frightening and confusing world, where they are now as much of a threat as those who hunt them. Relentlessly pursued, WE3 fights with the combined firepower of a battalion — and a faint, warm memory of somewhere called Home.” Now, two decades later, DC Comics brings us WE3: The 20th Anniversary Deluxe Edition, including the original graphic novel compilation plus some extensive behind-the-scenes material. It also features a new forward by director James Gunn — who has admitted that aspects of Batch 89 from Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 were directly inspired by this comic.

image c. 2025 DC Comics

Ready for a kooky one? Ruffy and the Riverside is one of the quirkiest games I’ve played in quite a while, and though it took me a bit to warm up to it, once I started to get comfortable in the world, I found myself really appreciating the vision the developers set out to bring to life. Ruffy is an adventurous open world puzzle extravaganza with a kaleidoscope of retro and hand drawn graphical treats to enjoy whilst figuring out its wealth of brain teasing tests sprinkled judiciously around the town of Riverside and its many outlying regions. It’s weird, it’s wildly inventive, and it’s worthy of your time!

Before this gets away from us! Two comic book power-houses, Disney and Marvel, combined last year for a very special one-shot: Uncle Scrooge and the Infinity Dime, written by Jason Aaron and featuring some of the most talented artists in Italy. “One of the greatest characters in the history of comics leaps into his most epic adventure yet, in the manner only Marvel can deliver! When Uncle Scrooge’s fabled money bin gets stolen by a shocking culprit, the world’s toughest duck must undertake a quest unlike any other, alongside a surprising array of allies: Other versions of himself!” Hurry! It’s still available at comic book stores.

image c. 2025 Marvel Comics

Roguelikes are meant to be tough. The best ones are designed in a way that the gameplay loop encourages you to learn as you fail. That is, until your learning becomes so good that you succeed. Then maybe they’ll add on an additional challenge, or another stepping stone. Some even reward you as you progress, making it easier to succeed, eventually. Not all of them do though, and that’s not inherently a fault. Sometimes it’s rewarding to try, try, and try again…as long as things feel fair in the end. Unfortunately, as much as I loved the preview demo I played of Shuffle Tactics, the full experience of the newly released game ratchets up the difficulty with unforgiving randomness when it comes to succeeding in this roguelike genre it firmly sits within.

Kiseff has made an amazing adventure with fast action, impactful class fantasy, relentless enemies, a strong emphasis on defense and positioning, a healthy amount of customization options, and the ability to host a small server of friends! Atlyss races come in 5 forms, mischievous imps, rabbit/fox like poons, the cheng rodents, corvid like byrdles, the scaley goobers the kobolds. You can play with face characteristics, tails, species-defining characteristics like ears or beaks, body size (we all know about this), color, and body patterns. It’s satisfying playing with these tools, making your character. You’re a reincarnated creature, summoned by the Guardian, Angela, to prevent the world from succumbing to corrupt energies. You get acquainted with the hub, accept your starting quest, and begin a deceptively simple task of killing slimes. 

TigerTails Radio Season 16 Episode 22 Join the Discord Chat: https://discord.gg/SQ5QuRf Join the Telegram Chat: https://t.me/+yold2C77m0I1MmM0 Visit the website at http://www.tigertailsradio.co.uk. See website for full breakdown of any song credits, which is usually updated shortly after the show. Credits: Opening music: Magic by Hedge Haiden (Double Hedge Studios) Character art: Fitzroy Fox - https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lunara-toons / https://bsky.app/profile/fitzroyfox.bsky.social Background art: Charleston Rat - https://www.furaffinity.net/user/charlestonrat / https://bsky.app/profile/charlestonrat.bsky.social If you like what we do and wish to throw some pennies our way to support us, please consider sending a little tip our way. https://streamlabs.com/tigertailsradio/tip * Please note, tips are made to support TigerTails Radio and are assumed as made with good faith, so are therefore non-refundable. Thank you for your support and understanding.

Check this out before it goes away! Based on  a popular video game, DC Comics’ Multiversus: Collision Detected is a new series that combines famous superheroes with famous cartoon stars in a multi-universal mash-up. “Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince, and Clark Kent each wake in a cold sweat, troubled by strange dreams they’ve had about ‘the rabbit’, ‘the star child’, and ‘the witch’. Their investigation into these enigmatic visions brings them to unexpected locales and unusual characters, but none more unusual than the mysterious ‘rabbit’ from their dreams as they find themselves face-to-face with the one and only Bugs Bunny. What the heck is going on here? And who in the name of the Multiverse are ‘the star child’ and ‘the witch’?” The cover might just give you a clue. Issues are on the shelves right now, written by Bryan Q. Miller and illustrated by Jon Sommariva.

image c. 2025 DC Comics

After they gave us Marvel Meow, the folks at Marvel Comics decided to even the score with Marvel Mutts, a new limited series. “Join the Marvel Mutts in their very first comic book adventure! Collecting issues #1-12 of the Friday Funnies series, these heartwarming tales – and wagging tails – are sure to elicit a round of a-paws. Featuring Lockjaw, Lucky, Cosmo, Bats and Ms. Marvel’s dearest doggie, Mittens, this pack is packing the cute.” Hmm, we should find out more about the Friday Funnies. Anyway, this new comic is written by Mackenzie Cadenhead and illustrated by Takeshi Miyazawa. Check it out for yourself.

image c. 2025 Marvel Comics

Get ready to have a monkey of a time because Donkey Kong is slamming on to the scene next month! Nintendo just released a direct looking at the upcoming Donkey Kong Bananza and it certainly looks like a Bananza! Donkey Kong has gone to Ingot Isle in search of legendary golden bananas. There he ends up getting blasted underground where he encounters a strange rock that soon reveals itself to be the talented young singer Pauline! DK must help protect her and get her home, while also searching for bananas and navigating the underground. 

Hey, Papabear,

​I just rediscovered your website when I did a Google search for "furry therapists" (with most results just being for service dogs, go figure) and someone mentioned you in a Reddit post as an alternative. The few actual therapists in the fandom are only in other states and can't take out-of-state patients, so after reading through a few pages of letters you replied to, I figured I'd reach out.

While I do have a regular therapist, and she knows I'm a furry, I haven't gotten around to discussing my issues in the fandom with her, and her knowledge is very limited on furry stuff so I don't think she'd really get it. I just discuss my other life issues with her.

Anyway, my issue is: the entire fandom hates me, and it's destroying my life, my mental well-being, my physical well-being, and I truly wish I never existed because it seems nothing good has come from my existence and nobody wants anything to do with me.

Well, maybe that's an exaggeration, but it sure feels true. My history in the fandom is a long one, with a few happy moments, but ultimately, now it has ended and has left a huge hole in my heart that cannot be repaired or mended.

I'll start by saying, other furries were always very wary of me. They always hated me, avoided me, etc. I knew I was a fur for like 5 years before I finally reached out and began socializing with furs in 2010, at age 18. I got the rudest welcome and almost kicked out right then and there because I've always been different from stereotypical furs. I don't have casual sex (or any at all), I don't do substance use (no drinking, weed, drugs, etc.) or hard partying. I'm not a smart techie bro who works I.T.- I'm awful with computers. The list goes on but I just felt like I wasn't what the fandom wanted, and even though it's more accepting nowadays, it still has a long way to go and I'm not part of that, apparently.

Anyway, my initial stint in the fandom lasted 2010-2014 roughly, with like a 18-month gap in there even because of arguments with local and online furs. Despite being only 18, they all got mad that I wasn't the alcohol-loving hard-partying Chad they wished I was. And awareness for neurodivergence wasn't so much a thing at the time (I was undiagnosed back then). I had heard the fandom was accepting; instead, they treated me like an unwanted loser until they finally kicked me out of the local group, because I made an angry reply to being bullied.

Fast forward years later, I had moved nearly 1,000 miles away (I'm not originally from SC), struggled for like 8 years to find furs. Then I thought I found my diamonds in the rough when in 2022 I finally had a local furry group to hang out with, and they seemed to like me and were really cool with how I was. In late 2023 I attended my first fur con and loved it so much, I attended a bunch more after if I could.

Sadly, I'm writing you because this didn't last too long. I still had a lot of issues with many furs hating me, ignoring me, trying to shove me away, and it pisses me off how unfriendly this fandom is as a whole when I was trying to socialize. In 2024 I got into an argument with someone on Telegram, and I called him a slur and said I wished he died (I have bad anger issues).

Well people keep spreading this screenshot around in furry groups around the southeast U.S. and other stuff about me. They keep acting like I'm a violent monster of some sort. I'm not banned from any cons, but am banned from the dance competition events at cons I used to try and compete in. I enjoyed these so much and it leaves me so heartbroken I can't explain. Moreover, I noticed the past 2 cons I went to, many furs I used to be cool with are now ignoring me and refusing to talk to me. I also got banned from my local fur groups because NCAS made my local friends ban me. Now, the nearest fur willing to talk to me lives hours away, and I can maybe seem him a few times a year if that.

I have no non-fur friends sadly; tried making them for years, there are none where I live (retirement area mostly full of conservative boomers). Ever since I discovered this fandom, all I wanted was to fit in; to feel like I belonged. And the brief time I did, it felt great and were some of the best moments of my life. But having it all so harshly taken away has left me in a state of wreck I can only begin to describe.

I keep getting really bad/violent thoughts randomly. Horrible mood swings. I can't work much at all so I'll have to leave my job before I'm a danger to myself or anyone else. I keep thinking I'll need to "un-alive" myself. All I wanna do is lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and sleep way too much. I keep binge-eating to the point of gaining weight. I no longer have things I enjoy. I feel unable to enjoy video games, music, creative endeavors, etc. The fandom was so important to my life and it feels like the worst heartbreak ever. And I'm sick of being forced into a world that doesn't fucking want me.

I tried apologizing to many people multiple times, but nobody nowadays accepts apologies. They all want nothing to do with me. They want me gone. I'm a pathetic loser and always was, according to them. Now this is the second time I got disowned by the fandom, but it's so much more painful this time around. I don't have the energy or resources to move far away, make a new fursona and re-emerge. I think my life is just over at this point.

I've been on psychiactric medications in the past, but I don't believe in them anymore because they never did anything for me, and only gave me bad side effects. Plus I have too many money issues to be able to afford them. My current therapist is the only one I can get; she's nice but not the most helpful with certain things. And I'm afraid to call the Suicide Hotline because they'll involuntarily commit me and send me a huge bill I can't afford. It feels like there's no solution to this problem. I can't force the fandom to like or accept me, and it's on my mind 24/7 and it's making me go crazy.

Idk what I'm even asking at this point. I've only just touched the surface of my issue and I already wrote so much. I guess my question is: what can I do about this? It's ruining my life. I want to be in this fandom and be liked and have friends more than anything else in the entire world, and not being able to is making me wanna kill myself or even worse.

Gunther Spierman (age 32)

* * *

​Dear Gunther,

Thank you for your letter. I'm proud of you for reaching out. I bet that wasn't easy. As you know, I am not a professional therapist, so please keep that in mind as I write the following to you....

Important stuff first. The Suicide Hotline at 988 is a FREE service. You do not have to pay for it. It is staffed by a mix of professional therapists and some volunteers who are not pros but who have been trained to talk to people in crisis. So, if you get to a serious point where you really feel at risk of self-harm, please dial the hotline. And I will tell you a little thing about myself on this topic. I wish 988 had been there when I was 18, which is the year I almost died through a suicide attempt. Thankfully, I was not successful. But my attempt hurt many of my loved ones, especially my mother, and I regret that very much. Think about your loved ones and how your actions affect them. Also, know that when you are in the mindset of contemplating suicide, you are not really in your right state of mind. You are not thinking clearly. That's why you need someone like the good people on the hotline to snap you out of it and bring your perspective back to where it should be. An example of perspective? You said it yourself: Not everyone in the fandom hates you. Most furries don't even know you (wink wink). I don't hate you. So, bear that in mind.

Good news that you have a therapist. Kudos. And you really should open up to her about your furry issues. She might not know about the fandom in particular, but she does understand group dynamics and can likely offer you insights.

Many furries experience what you have experienced, which is that they are told what I call "The Furry Fandom Fairy Tale" that we are all warm, loving, accepting people. Nonsense. There is no such thing as any huge group of people who are all accepting and loving. It's kind of like what Nick Wilde told Judy Hopps in Zootopia about how hayseed animals from the Sticks come to the city thinking the animals all get along and sing Kumbaya around campfires. Bullshit. THAT said, there is some truth about the fandom being accepting in that anyone can be a furry. Also, since the demographics tend to have a lot of people from segments of the population that are often alienated by the mainstream (i.e., e.g., LGBTQIA people, people on the autism spectrum, nerdy and shy people, geeky techy folk, and so on), then it is much more likely you will find people like that when you start getting active in the fandom and they will be cool with you because, hey, they are like you in a lot of ways.

It is also true, demographically speaking, that many furries skew to the younger age groups (teens and twenties). At that time in people's lives, hormones are raging and sex is on the brain. I confess as a younger furry I did quite a bit of adult RP stuff online. The joke used to be "If you see a drawing of an anthro and you get aroused, you're likely a furry." The good part about this is that the fandom provides an environment unhindered by sexual conventions, so it allows people to experiment and get in touch with their true sexuality without being constrained by, say, their parents' religious beliefs or peer group pressures. The bad news is that this can also lead to some unwanted sexual advances, and many young furs think they can get away with anything. A story I like to tell involves my days back in Michigan when I was with Jim (who sadly passed 10 years ago). Anyway, I convinced Jim (who wasn't a furry but was fur friendly) to come with me with some other furs to see Where the Wild Things Are. Before the movie, we all went to a diner for lunch. Jim and I sat with a table of four other furries. One was a chubby young woman who sat next to Jim (Jim was a big ol' handsome bear). So, anyway, even though it was pretty obvious that Jim and I were a couple, she nudges up to him and whispers, "You know, the cool thing about the fandom is you can sleep with anyone." Jim looked at her and was like, "Um, you know my boyfriend is sitting right here and no, no you can't." After that, she stayed away from us. I'm sure she trashed us to the others in her group because I didn't hear from them again after that.

So, yeah, that kind of crap happens, but not all furries are like that--not by any stretch of the imagination. It is a diverse group of people. When it comes to sex, you have everything from total furverts to 100% asexuals and everything in between--everything imaginable, really. The lesson here is that you really need to get to know people before making friends. A good way to do that is online in special interest groups (SIGs), where you can hopefully meet furries who share your interests, make friends with them, and then meet them in person. Many people do what you do in going to local meets where they don't know anyone and then they can have some awkward encounters. That's why I don't go to furmeets (e.g. the Prancing Skiltaire) unless I know someone there beforehand. Going in blind and hoping you'll have a great time merely because the people there are also furries increases the likelihood of a bad day.

A suggestion for you: Now that you are 32 years old, you are eligible to join my Greymuzzle Facebook group ((12) Greymuzzles (30 and older furs only) | Facebook), which is full of good furries. How do I know? I and other carefully selected admins screen the 5,000+ members very carefully. Only 1 in 6 applicants gets in. And we constantly stay on the lookout for naughty furries. So, I invite you to join us there. If you're not on Facebook, there are other greymuzzle groups on platforms like Telegram and Bluesky you can check into. They are not run by me, but they should have more mature members there, and they tend to be more chill than your typical furry groups. (After I wrote this paragraph, I saw you applied! Welcome to the group!)

Next, let's address your reputation issues. It's hard for me to gauge this for you exactly, not knowing the circumstances and only knowing that you got angry and yelled about something, which doesn't seem like much or a reason to be banned from a group. Also, NCAS (that's the North Carolina Anthro Society, right?) telling your local meet to ban you is pretty shitty. But if you have "anger issues" that medications don't ease, that might be exacerbating the problem. 

That brings me to how to deal with anger problems. Hey! Another thing I personally know about! I too have experienced anger issues. What are anger issues? Well, this is the inability to control upwellings of strong negative emotions that can cause you to lash out verbally or even physically at others. I think we can all agree that this is a big turnoff for many people, and they tend to not want to deal with people who have anger issues. There are some ways to manage them, though, even without drugs (a solution people too often turn to, but that is not to say there are cases when medicine can help, especially when your issues ). Some things you can do:

• Exercise: Indulging in physical exercise is a great way to burn off excess energy that would otherwise manifest in angry outbursts. In other words, it can calm you down.
• Meditation (and "mindfulness"): There's a lot to this that I don't have the time to go into, and you can find lots of videos on "meditation for beginners," but to summarize, meditation is just taking a few minutes to yourself to turn off the TV, your phone, and other distractions, sit in a quiet place, be present in the moment, and allow your mind to rest. Don't force yourself to think, and don't try to "clear your mind of thoughts" as some advocate. Just let yourself be, your mind wander, reconnecting to yourself.
• Be kind to yourself: People forget to do this, but you should try and do something nice for yourself daily. It doesn't have to be big. Indeed, small things are the best. Just something nice. Like, enjoy a nice walk in a park. Listen to a favorite song and dance around in your living room. Give someone you like a hug. Take a long bath. That sort of thing. Give yourself a break.

As to the gist of your email, it can be encapsulated in these two statements: "I truly wish I never existed because it seems nothing good has come from my existence and nobody wants anything to do with me" and "I want to be in this fandom and be liked and have friends more than anything else in the entire world, and not being able to is making me wanna kill myself or even worse."

What you're suffering from here is very commonplace these days: the idea that you need to be noticed and validated in order to be a worthwhile person. When you claim nothing good has come from your existence, that's your depression talking. I'm sure that in your life something good has resulted from you being in this world, even a little thing. And how should we define "good" anyway? To me, having a good effect on this world would be doing anything--even a tiny thing--that has helped other people, animals, or the world in general. You don't have to invent a cure for cancer or end world hunger to be a worthwhile person. Indeed, if you want to know what your purpose in life is, ask me sometime because that's a whole nuther column. I'll tell you one thing, the purpose of your life has nothing to do with being liked by other people or being a part of this fandom. Indeed, if you find that you don't fit into this fandom, you haven't looked hard enough. Like I said, we're diverse. You can find young and old, rich and poor, smart and not so smart, white and black, gay and straight and trans, religious and spiritual and completely materialistic, sex maniacs and virgins, sci-fi fanatics and readers of classic literature, train and car aficionados and people who cross stitch and knitting, athletes and chubbies, and on and on. We are not all alike, so it is highly doubtful that we would all feel the same way about you.

And even if not a single furry accepted you, that's not important. You need to accept yourself. Indeed, accepting yourself and being comfortable in your own skin is a highly attractive trait. You will find that 9 out of 10 people in this life prefer making friends with people who like themselves than people who don't like themselves.

So, Gunther. Why don't you like yourself? And what things about yourself do you like? These are the things you need to explore, and once you figure it out, you'll have made a huge leap toward eliminating your fears and anxieties that are holding you back.

What do you think? Write again and let me know.

In the meantime, welcome to my Greymuzzle group :)

Bear Hugs,
Papabear

Just when you think you’re out…they pull you right back in! Eugene McQuacklin is back to quackin’ a case in Duck Detective: The Ghost of Glamping. This time around, he’s got a partner in crime helping him, as the veritably enthusiastic fan-turned-Watson wannabe Freddy Frederson joins you throughout your sleuthing search. I thoroughly enjoyed the first entry in this series, “The Secret Salami”, so I was very excited to see what kind of changes, if any, would be made in the second game. I wouldn’t consider it a “sequel” as it doesn’t attach too much story to the first game, and you can safely play either in whichever order you’d like. I’m happy to report that the same charm that made the first game such a memorable and fun little experience is overflowing in The Ghost of Glamping, and I actually preferred this story and the way it was told even more. Right after I cracked the case, I immediately hopped on the web to see if we’d get more time with the amazing characters and world of Duck Detective. It’s that good.