Feed aggregator

submitted by VixNDwnq
[link] [8 comments]

submitted by Ryuu_Girl
[link] [1 comment]

submitted by Asurium
[link] [13 comments]

submitted by DaSkunk
[link] [5 comments]

Thanks for help from Poppa Bookworm, and tips from Arrkay (Culturally F’ed) and Fuzzwolf (FurPlanet.)  The newly established PAWcon is coming up on October 30 – in the same place as Further Confusion.  It made me raise a topic:  In the 90’s, ConFurence was THE convention for all furries worldwide.  26 years after ConFurence 0 broke ground, the subculture has […]

submitted by Crescent504
[link] [25 comments]

submitted by ShirokuTheHusky
[link] [comment]

submitted by TinyPotatoAttack
[link] [86 comments]

submitted by TwerkOnThatShark
[link] [34 comments]

submitted by Grammatick
[link] [6 comments]

This is a small public service announcement despite the fact I don't work for any major or minor company. This is directed to furries with depresstion/anxiety. If you do not have those two, feel free to move on or read this. It's your choice.

We all know depression's not easy. It makes you tired. It makes not want to do anything. You literally feel nothing. For those of you who feel so, or are becoming so, I pray to you, do something. It can be anything, as long as it's harmless. Do something. Ride a bike, read a book, do those dishes who've increasing exponentially until you decided to start using paper plates and silverware.

Just do something. When you're depressed, you've lost track of who you are. Your emotions are in turmoil. You don't know what to do so you just do nothing. Doing nothing actually makes it worse. Even if its torture, just do an activity so your brain stays alive and exercising. If you keep doing it, you'll get better.

Another thing is talking. Even if you feel others won't appreciate your thoughts, don't be afraid to speak up and talk. There are plenty of hotlines for depression and suicidal thoughts. If you feel that no one listens to you, you can talk on r/furry.

r/furry began as a subreddit to show furry stuff. And it's grown. It's also become this vast online community where everyone tries to help another, doesn't judge (or at least say so), and people like you can get help.

Never be afraid to get help on r/furry. Plenty of people on here care about you, I swear upon every religious book. I'm not lying when I say that. Point is, you always have someone to talk to on r/furry.

As for those trying to help you with happy thoughts you don't really like, bear with them. This is their way of cooperating and they're not feeling what you're feeling. They're just trying to help.

TL;DR: You can always talk about stuff that's depressing you or your depression on r/furry. We can try to help or make you feel better.

Update: If you don't want to talk on r/furry, r/depression is also another subreddit that can help.

submitted by topaz_colite
[link] [33 comments]

submitted by Stariteone
[link] [5 comments]

submitted by ThePiachu
[link] [1 comment]

submitted by Verok_the_Dragon
[link] [16 comments]

submitted by Akeru
[link] [2 comments]

submitted by Chachoregard
[link] [11 comments]

Hello Papa Bear,
 
I am a fan that wrote to you a while back and it seems like I need help again...

Lately I've noticed a pretty toxic looking pattern in my behaviour. I'm not sure why but small things I don't understand tend to set me off and I need to rant to not be overwhelmed. On top of that I think I subconsciously seek conflict even though I hate it. I've never thought it was a huge problem because I could control it, until recently.

As you might or might not know, Daniel from the YouTube group Cyndago recently passed away due to suicide. I looked up information because I had been out of the loop, and found Cyndago has quit YouTube which confused me and kind of angered me because I saw no logic in the decision. I decided to post my opinion that they had no reason to quit on a website to hopefully get some clarification as to the reasoning behind it.

That ended up being a huge mistake.

Almost immediately I got a ton of backlash from fans for apparently being insensitive to death and mourning and one person called me (warning for harsh language) "either a [redacted] angsty teenager or disrespectful trash of a [redacted] human being" before telling me pretty angrily to "have some [redacted] human decency." 

What made it worse was that an account that was allegedly Ryan's (another Cyndago member) found my post and responded saying I thought it was all about me, which I never said but I still feel awful about that. I have Asperger’s which makes me have trouble empathizing and seeing social cues sometimes, so needless to say I was very upset and did not understand what I said wrong. It's just an opinion, right? I never said they had to stay, just that I didn’t think they should quit. (Though my post was poorly worded and sounded mad because I was tired.)

I have already issued an apology and explanation, though it seems people either ignored it, didn't see it, or hated me more for trying to apologize because I've gotten some more hate since. I feel like I've irreparably screwed up and would like some advice to keep this from happening again because I kind of hate myself now.

Sincerely,
Apparently A Bad Person
 
* * *
 
Dear Apparently,
 
You are not a bad person. For one thing, your Asperger’s could very likely have made it difficult for you to write a post that evoked the amount of sympathy that many people might expect. For another, who hasn’t written an email or post while angry or sad or under duress and then hit “send” or “post” before they should have? I know I’ve done this a couple times.
​
We all make fools of ourselves now and then. And you took the right steps to apologize for it, and if not everyone accepts that apology, then they just need to get over it.

In the future, my advice would be that whenever you feel like posting something that has a strong opinion in it, you first write it, then set it aside for a while (save it in Word or save the message as a draft). Go back to it a few hours (or even a day or two) later and reread it. Now that you have calmed down or thought about it, ask yourself, “Is this what I would write now? Is it well-reasoned? Is it polite?” If it is, go ahead and send it; if not, either rewrite it or don’t send it at all.

Don’t hate yourself. We all goof up sometimes. Learn from the goofs and move on.

Hugs,
Papabear

Dear Papa Bear,

One of my dreams is to be fearless. I want to understand the difference between rational and irrational fears, and the extent to which I should fear them.

Let me explain.

I want to rid myself of any irrational fear, and learn to not overreact to rational fears. Over time, I've discovered that my number one biggest fear is losing my friends. I don't know if it's co-dependence, or just obsession, but I love my friends more than life itself. I've told them before that I'd give it all if I had to, to make sure they are safe. Now, one of my friends, 2 Gryphon, has told me that I AM obsessing too much, and that a friend is simply someone I get along with and can share common interests, and someone I enjoy being around. In fact, he made the comment that what I'm looking for is actually a mate. This is not true because I'm asexual, and just not interested. But it got me thinking.

Am I putting so much devotion into my friends, that the relationship I have is more of a marriage than a friendship? Am I placing my friends so high on my list, that they may feel uncomfortable sometimes?
And that question, on top of the original fear, is what led me here.

All of my friends are used to how I act around them, and they know all my little quirks. If I just change that, and become a more casual and simple guy, will they still like me? That sounds stupid to ask, and I know if they don't, then they weren't good friends and all that, but they are. The person I call a friend is always someone I can put my faith in, otherwise I wouldn't be willing to give it all. So I know my friends wouldn't abandon me, but then why do I fear the change? Am I just too used to how things are already? I want to be a better friend, and I think 2 has the right idea, because he's never told me anything that turned out wrong in the past. 

The thing is, I fear losing my friends, but I also fear losing who I am. I am a person who makes friends out of people he can truly invest it, and I spend all my time seeing how they're doing, or if they want to hang out, or what I can do to help out in this, that, or the other. If I slow down, just talk to them about common interests, and every now and then, ask how their day's going, how do I maintain that deep connection? If I can't, then how do I know who to befriend in the future?

I fear losing my friends more than hell itself, and I fear losing who I am in trying to be a better friend the way 2 explained it. I don't know what to do, or even if this is comprehensible to the human mind...excuse me, bear mind.

Sincerely,
Soren

* * *

Hi, Soren,

It's really impossible for me to generalize how all of your friends will react because each one of them is an individual and will react to things that you do or say on an individual basis.

First, when it comes to mates: it's not always about sex (even though that is usually an important component). You can have a mate and, if you're both asexual, for example, be perfectly happy together without sex. This can happen in other cases, as well, such as when people are quite old and really not that interested in sex, or when one or both is ill and incapable of sex. The point is, they can have a close and loving relationship without it.

Friendships, too, come in degrees. I've had friendships with people with whom I've been pretty casual and noncommittal all the way up to Friends with Benefits. Even then, just because I've had sex with them, doesn't mean I want a partnered relationship.

Treat each relationship as unique and special. Some friendships will grow and blossom, others will whither with time over the years, you'll lose friends, but also make new ones. But the friendships you make will be much more genuine if you present yourself as who you really are (hmmm, that sounds like a reference to something recent...) rather than what you think others want you to be.

Make sense?

Hugs,
Papabear

submitted by StupidSexyConnor
[link] [40 comments]

submitted by Deestraction
[link] [14 comments]