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Typewriter Emergencies, Edited By Weasel – Book Review By Fred Patten
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Typewriter Emergencies, 2015 Edition [edited by Weasel]
Manvel, TX, Weasel Press, October 2015, trade paperback $16.95 (179 pages), Kindle $3.99.
The blurb says, “Welcome to the first release of Typewriter Emergencies, a collection of psychologically damaging and hard hitting furry literature.” The implication is that this is the first of an ongoing series of furry stories that the blurb goes on to describe as “gut-wrenching”. “Weasel Press is proud to have our first furry collection on the books and we hope you will enjoy every moment this intense anthology has to offer.”
The 13 stories, with a cover by Kala “Miryhis” Quinn, are a quality mixed-bag of tales by furry veteran authors, non-furry writers who are nonetheless experienced authors, and at least one new writer. Several are examples of experimental writing.
“The Dying Game” by Amethyst Mare shows this in its second line. “Great Britain crawled into December like a raindrop tricking down glass.” (p. 9) Heather Rees, a “young, two-legged palomino equine”, seems determined to be miserable. “The bridge was crusty with moss and lichen, the green and yellow reminding her of disease ridden flesh, something that ate away at the outside of a fur while the inside lost the will to live.” The writing emphasizes a “gut-wrenching” vocabulary. “Cars on the road to her right snarled past, lifting her straightened mane up from her neck and into her face in a rush of angry air.” (p. 10) Heather is on her way to see Mikey, a young cat lover who has been horribly maimed by a passing train. “Michael had done no wrong. He had only been spraying graffiti. Where was the harm in that?” Well … “Michael had to be all right for her. He could live without an arm or a leg. He had to.” Notice that Michael has to be all right for her. The story is a blend of poetic wordplay (“Outside, the sky dipped its paintbrush into the grey-blue that was twilight, drawing a fresh scene across its daily canvas.”) and “psychologically damaging” descriptions, such as Michael’s hospital bed’s “sickly green curtain”, his husky nurse’s “clinical smile permanently fixed on her face [that] never reached her eyes”, and Heather’s mare mother screaming at her (ignoring the hospital’s rule for quiet) for wasting her time at Michael’s bedside instead of earning money at her job.
“The Dying Game” is a funny-animal story; the characters could all just as easily be humans. “Rogue” by Phil Geusz is genuinely anthropomorphic. Pootra is an adolescent zebra in her herd on the African savannah. She is surrounded by other zebras in a tight mass for protection against lions, hyenas, and other predators who would quickly single out a lone zebra:
“‘Pootra!’ Aunt Prudin declared as the filly came trotting obediently back, just when she’d thought she might finally be getting away for a moment or two of peace and solitude. Prudin was the herd’s alpha-female, second only to Ch’lee the stallion in authority. ‘Child, what are we do do with you? Stay close!’ The she reinforced her message with a savage nip, one that ached and burned for days, it ran so deep.” (pgs. 24-25)
Pootra wants to be able to be alone when she wants to be, instead of being so surrounded by other zebras that she never has any privacy, even when she has to relieve herself.
“The young zebra-filly took one last sniff, then reluctantly turned back to her herd. If she didn’t, she knew, she’s be nipped again. Though not, she whispered to herself as she cantered back to her mother’s worried side, if I had jaws like those that had so rent and torn the antelope. Not if my scent struck fear into the hearts of these silly old mares.
Not if I were a killer, too.” (p. 28)
So Pootra becomes a killer. And learns that it’s not what she expects.
“A Friend in Need” by G. Miki Hayden is narrated by Slobber, an English bulldog, one of several dogs that play poker at Rinny’s Saloon. There’s Merc, a Boston terrier; Crackers, a great Dane; Mustard, a yellow Lab; and Sid.
“Sid, the boxer, coughed over his two in the hole and a three-dollar cigar. Though one of the regulars at out weekly game, Sid is my nemesis. Everything that dog does just gets on my nerves. I don’t like boxers. I don’t like cigar smoke. And I don’t like Sid.” (p. 39)
“A Friend in Need” is about why Slobber doesn’t like Sid, what he does about it, and what happens.
“Among the Drunken Lab Mice” by Con Chapman, only three pages, is about three cynical professional lab mice looking for their next job, and trying to avoid cancer research.
“Home Is Where The Rat Is” by W. B. Cushman is about the tough life of a wild rat:
“You’re hungry, you find something and you eat. There’s pressure inside, liquid or solid, you shoot it out. […] When it gets cold, and it does, especially at night, you find family or some buddies, even strangers will do since you’ve got the same need, and you squeeze in all together. Share the wealth. That’s pretty much it.
Of course, none of that matters if you’re not paying attention to rule number one. Which is this – never let your guard down.” (p. 48)
Hector the black rat escapes from a human lab and goes to live among the wild rats. He doesn’t like it there. Another rat, William, offers to help him escape if he’ll take William along, and William’s friend with them. Who is a cat.
“Best of Breed” by Renee Carter Hall is narrated by Silver Willow, a.k.a. Mina, an Angoran Mau show cat in a world where all show cats are sentient. At first she is proud of winning awards, for herself and for Shawn, her human handler. She gradually changes her mind. This story is a reprint, from Allasso volume 1; and was the winner of the Cóyotl Award for Best Mature Short Story of 2012. It’s excellent. If you haven’t read it before, read it now.
“Finding a Cat” by Timothy Wiseman is narrated by Aeneas, a human vampire hunter. He discovers that the vampires he is hunting have a nekessian, a cat-woman slave. Felysia, the humanoid cat-woman, wants to become a vampire hunter, too.
“It’s a Long Road to Redemption” by Jerod Underwood Park is horribly, clunkily written but uniquely imaginative; full of it’s (“It’s firm grasp”, “extending it’s liquid like arms”); watery hands, watery beings, watery forms, and watery blobs; of sentient, clothes-wearing Foxen transformed into unintelligent four-legged foxes; of TriCylians and TriZüülians. If you can get through partial sentences like “Had a wooded planet that could be seen through it.”, you might like this.
“Faces of Emotion” by Junior Gordon also has wonky punctuation and confusing vocabulary. “A voice came from the chair to my left, there sat a grey wolf drenched in a black trenchcoat that covered his topless body and ripped jeans.” (p. 124) Ein, a wolf with multiple personalities, is being psychoanalyzed by Dr. Hendriks, a sheep. Anger. Fear. Happiness. And what else?
“Daddy’s Little Dolly” by Mark Plummer is a Demonic Sweet Child story. But is little Molly or her baby brother the Demonic Sweet Child? Molly’s scientist father experiments on mice, but there’s nothing really furry about this.
“The Vulture’s Ghost” by Gareth Barsby takes place in a world of anthropomorphized birds. Parrots. Peacocks. Doves. Ducks. Mostly pretty, colorful birds. And one ugly one, the narrator; a vulture, bald from birth. But his girlfriend is also a vulture. Happy ending? Don’t You Believe It!
“And the Last Shall Be …” by Neil S. Reddy is a four-pager narrated by a mouse who lives through a nuclear explosion – for awhile.
“Splinters” by Dwale is narrated by Cammy:
“And who am I? My name is Cammy (not really) and I am a cabbolf. That’s a cat/rabbit/wolf/human genetic hybrid, which we call a chimera even though the terminology is wrong. Why don’t I call myself a ‘cabbolfuman’ or something? I don’t know, why don’t you call yourselves ‘humanzees’? You’ve got 99% genetic similarity to a chimp. It’s your DNA you need to be worried about, not mine.” (p. 160)
Cammy is also neither male nor female, but that doesn’t matter much because a new disease is making everyone sterile and the human race is about to become extinct. If mutant kudzu doesn’t smother everything first. And then it gets depressing.
Well. 13 stories, mostly narrated by characters with severe emotional problems. The blurb’s promise that this is “a collection of psychologically damaging and hard hitting furry literature” should warn you that there are few happy endings here. I liked “Rogue” by Phil Geusz and “Splinters” by Dwale the best of the new stories, and it’s always a pleasure to read “Best of Breed” by Renee Carter Hall again. I respect “The Dying Game” by Amethyst Mare because, as depressing as it is, it seems to have been written exactly to what Weasel called for. Will you enjoy Typewriter Emergencies? “Enjoy” may not be the right word, and you may not like every story, but on the whole you won’t be sorry that you got this.
Found a really nice drawing tablet in my closet. First digital drawing & first fursona!
Anyone know a good artist who can do semi-realistic anthros that does ref sheets?
I've scoured the artist's list and there's no one I can find that fits what I'm looking for.
I'm looking to get at least one ref sheet done of one of my characters aside from my fursona, and I'm having a really hard time finding an artist that has a style that I think can convey them well. A few of their most important features to distinguish them are also one used to identify the animal in question, but ones many people seem to omit when drawing the species.
I know every artist is going to draw each character differently, but I think him being conveyed properly in the ref sheet may help him be better translated into different styles.
It'd be best if they do NSFW sheets but it isn't necessary. I'd also like someone who's currently open because I'd like to get it done as soon as I can for an artist who's opening in January but I'll take any names of anyone who fits the bill since I'm not having luck finding anyone on my own.
Thanks in advance.
submitted by MidwayCJ[link] [comment]
Vector portrait, probable new flair.
Hey just introducing myself.
Hey guys! I've been hanging around the subreddit for the last couple months, and have posted a few comments but I thought it was time for me to introduce myself and sona.
I usually go by WolfHoodlum1789 or TheTon1789 on most websites. My sona Wolf Hoodlum is a wolf living in an alternate version of Earth where animals instead of humans rule and have set up societies not unlike the ones we have. He lives in East LA in a poorer area, and despite having a normal life on the outside and keeping a lot of friend connections, he is a mercenary and does a lot of jobs for both government and criminal organizations.
submitted by WolfHoodlum1789[link] [17 comments]
Are You a Good Wish, or a Bad Wish?
Over at Cartoon Brew there’s an article about Wish Police, the next big film project to come out of Reel FX (home of Free Birds and The Book of Life). “Based on a novella of the same name by Daniel Nayer, Wish Police takes place in a world where children’s bad wishes come to life as mayhem-making villains, and a secret organization called The Wish Police must work full-time to apprehend the evildoers. The Wish Police are led by Saul, an ex-genie determined to atone for centuries of granting his masters’ evil wishes, and Kong, a wise-cracking monkey and royal pain in the leg. In the film, Saul and Kong must break their personal rules and team up with a 12-year-old boy named Randy who has made a particularly bad wish and unleashed the most powerful wish villain ever seen.” The film is to be directed by three young filmmakers from Spain, Adrian Garcia, Alfredo Torres, and Victor Maldonado, “who are collectively known as Headless”. The CGI film is being produced by Kirk Bodyfelt (Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs 2) and written by some folks who worked on Kung Fu Panda. The film is scheduled for release in late 2017.
image c. 2015 Reel FX
Blargcast - TinyDragon (Eyrirch) - This is a Dragget Show inbetweenasode! Alkali ha…
This is a Dragget Show inbetweenasode! Alkali has been busy, so here's a conversation/interview Xander had with friend of the show, Eyrich/Tiny Dragon! The recording cut out a bit before we finished our conversation, but hopefully you can enjoy what we had recorded! Blargcast - TinyDragon (Eyrirch) - This is a Dragget Show inbetweenasode! Alkali ha…
The Inkblots! A Writing Group for the Writers of r/furry!
Salutations! I'm Mr. Turnip coming in tonight to make an offer for the ambitious and up-coming writers of this fair subreddit.
I've noticed time and time again how r/furry has a population of ambitious writers who want to advance in their skills, but have had no one to go to. And so myself and /u/advancedazrielangel have created a Discord server for all of us to come together throughout the week and share our writings!
We needed a name, and so I thought I'd base our name off of the legendary Inklings, whose ranks included C. S. Lewis (Chronicles of Narnia) and J. R. R. Tolkien (Lord of the Rings.) You may call us The Inkblots! And when you join our group, you become an Inkblot, too.
The Inkblots are devoted to reading and writing, so as to further their skills and become more frequent producers. When you join this group you'll pair yourself up with a friend, and the two of you will be devoted to each other for critiquing and complimenting each other's works. We'll have a weekly group discussion where we all come together and discuss what literary feats we've accomplished this week.
In addition to becoming frequent writers we shall also become frequent readers! Most people can't afford tutors to look over their shoulders and teach them the tricks of the trade, and so united as a group we will read great literary works ranging from the classics to the contemporary, from the obscure to the popular! By reading every day we'll have the great writers of history to observe and learn new tricks from!
If you would like to join our group, feel free to PM me or /u/advancedazrielangel about it. Once we can get to you we'll send you a link to our Discord chat where you'll be entered in and assigned as a member.
All writers of all ranks are invited!
Remember, we are a writers group, and so our rules are to make better writers out of us. Our rules of conduct go as such: anything you wouldn't do on here you can't do in the Discord chat. Think common sense!
Thanks for reading everybody! Hope to see you soon!
submitted by IWishIWasATurnip[link] [12 comments]
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/6qmQZxa.png){kind=link}
Ezra the Scolipede (Commission by SpikeShi)
![[link]](http://i.imgur.com/oFlUmUl.jpg){kind=link}
Help me price my faun legs?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17960572/ (wip)
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18349593/ (finished)
so I made these legs back a while ago for a convention. They were my first ever pair, were 100% hand sewn and received a lot of positive attention at the convention. I'm looking to sell this pair (and to make a few more pairs, eventually taking commissions) but I'm a bit hazy on a price point. I'm also open for designs, if anyone has a good color scheme for another set, I'm all ears!
submitted by birdtheliger[link] [comment]