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The Art and Evolution of TwoKinds, Volume 1, by Thomas Fischbach – review by Fred Patten.
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
The Art and Evolution of TwoKinds, Volume 1, by Thomas Fischbach
Apple Valley, CA, Keenspot Entertainment, December 2016, hardcover $29.99 (89 [+ 1] pages)
This is a large (8.5 x 10 inches) deluxe color artbook featuring Fischbach’s TwoKinds online comic strip cast. Every page is printed in full color on slick, glossy paper. It is a visual feast for fans of TwoKinds, and of all fans of mild cheesecake featuring anthropomorphic characters.
Despite the title, there is nothing here from the comic strip itself. You will not see how TwoKinds has evolved artistically over the dozen years that it has been running (since October 22, 2003). Instead this is a collection of Fischbach’s recent paintings of his main characters. Most of them have appeared on his DeviantArt gallery with the dates painted, and they are all from late 2014 to 2016. This is disappointing in terms of not really seeing how TwoKinds has evolved artistically over twelve years. But, frankly, Fischbach’s art was pretty crude when he began. Every painting in this artbook is in his current, much higher-quality style. It’s what most purchasers will prefer.
The format is to present a finished painting with from one to seven preliminary sketches to show how that painting evolved. Fischbach’s very brief text descriptions of how the plot of TwoKinds has evolved are scattered throughout the book. “Throughout the comic series, Natani is intentionally drawn slightly differently, either more masculine or feminine, depending on the situation.” (p. 43) “Very early on, Trace and Keith were planned to be rivals for Flora’s affection. However, as the story and characters developed, this potential love triangle was quickly abandoned.” (p. 87)
Mihari and Flora Chill by Twokinds
The main characters focused upon are Trace Legacy, the human protagonist; Flora, the tiger Keidran who is his love; Keith Keiser, his wolflike Basitin best friend; Kathrin Vaughn, a mixed-breed Keidran who looks like a clouded leopard; and Natani, a wolf Keidran assassin who has become their friend. Minor characters like Maddie, Raine, Mike and Evals, and Lady Nora the white dragon, are only shown a couple times each.
Bar Buddies by Twokinds
The title aside, this artbook is a collection of full-color high-quality closeup portraits of the main characters, most of whom are anthropomorphic animals. If you’re not familiar with TwoKinds and Fischbach’s art (he draws excellent fluffy fur), check it out for free online at http://twokinds.keenspot.com/
And the Aardvark Shall Lead Them
Thanks to a recent YouTube post about upcoming animated films, we learned of a new feature in production called The Ark and the Aardvark. Here’s the ad blurb: “The story follows an outcast aardvark by the name of Gilbert [voiced by Miles Teller], who becomes the reluctant leader of a ragtag group of misfit animals that need to be led to the mighty ark before the impending flood. Along their journey, they band together to conquer unforeseen obstacles, and ultimately, Gilbert discovers within himself the inner strength and ingenuity to prove that in a world of ‘twos’, he was truly destined to be The One.” Currently in production at Unified Pictures, the film is being directed by John Stevenson — co-director of the original Kung Fu Panda. No word yet on a precise release date (or who is going to distribute it), but it’s supposed to come out this year.
image c. 2017 Unified Pictures
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NSFW: Top 20 Bug Porn Sex Acts
FA 060 Sexual Roleplay - What do queer singles want in relationships and is it any different from everyone else? How can you roleplay online and in real life without being called a LARPer? How sustainable are long distance relationships where you aren't a
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on a survey that tries to answer the question of what queer singles are looking for. We look into some data to show just how queer singles find dates, how open they are about their sexuality and preferences, and what their views on long term relationship commitments are.
Our main topic is on roleplay. As one of our most commonly received questions we wanted to dedicate a show to roleplay etiquette. How do you find an online roleplay partner? What if you're looking for a roleplay partner in meatspace? What are some things to look out for? How do you roleplay responsibly? We go over these, as well as the general dos and do-nots of role play to make you a more well rounded play partner.
We close out the show with a question on how to know if you’re losing interest in a mate. In long distance relationships how sustainable is New Relationship Energy, and how can you cultivate intimacy digitally?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well!
FA 060 Sexual Roleplay - What do queer singles want in relationships and is it any different from everyone else? How can you roleplay online and in real life without being called a LARPer? How sustainable are long distance relationships where you aren't attracted anymore? All this, and more, on this week's Feral Attraction!HERO DAD finds sexy art in furry kid’s room, hangs it on wall to appreciate it.
There’s a frequent topic in furry discussions. Advice-giving furries tell each other: You Don’t Have To Come Out As Furry. It’s cringeworthy to do that, right? You don’t come out as a Star Trek fan, do you? Why would anyone act like appreciating cartoon animals is an identity that’s somehow comparable to being gay? Isn’t that insulting to people who face REAL struggles? What’s the worst that could happen?
Here’s a cautionary tale for you. A story of struggle, acceptance, and Wolf Bulge. A reason for a “Best Dad In Fandom” award.
SO I JUST GOT HOME FROM FURSQUARED AND MY PARENTS DECIDED TO CLEAN MY ROOM AND THEY FOUND ALL OF MY LEWD FURRY SHIT
— slurp dog (@CazCoyote) February 27, 2017my parents are cool about this but jesus christ i'm fucking dying and my boyfriend can't stop laughing
— slurp dog (@CazCoyote) February 27, 2017Dad: "I found some art in your room and decided to hang it up on your wall while you were gone. What do you think?"
Me: "uhh it looks great" pic.twitter.com/eZJZEhWA42
my mom just told me how excited my dad was to hang up all the artwork they found in my room
— slurp dog (@CazCoyote) February 28, 2017Just realized I never posted a new pic of my room layout now. Includes more art my dad hung up :P pic.twitter.com/yKfGGj2O36
— slurp dog (@CazCoyote) February 28, 2017@CazCoyote Your dad has achieved peak dad-trolling by embarrassing you supportively. :D
— Chiaroscuro (@ChefMongoose) February 28, 2017What could be more perfect than this? OK, just one thing – if they hung it on the refrigerator.
Sadly not everyone has the Hero Dad they deserve. Let’s be serious for a minute. Some dads kick their kids out for being gay. And there are actual verified survey numbers showing that, more likely than not, being in this fandom does overlap with being LGBT. So it’s a half-truth to mock people for “coming out” as furry. Think of being into disco and show tunes, pink fluffy sweaters, or things considered stereotypical for queer expression even if they aren’t your “identity”. Wouldn’t you worry about people assuming? People shouldn’t have to hide their hobby, but if they do, it may involve vulnerability about other private things being attached. That’s no more easy to deal with than the deeper issue. So don’t be mean and mock people for “coming out” as furry, because you don’t know what else is at stake.
@CazCoyote if my parents saw anything remotely lewd/furry, I'd get the "sodomy is unacceptable" speech and then sent to see my pastor!
— Waffle Wolf (@thehumblewolf) February 28, 2017@CazCoyote I'd be thrilled if me dad would approve haha. My room is so full of smut I just lock the door when family visits or cover it up
— Dasos the Folfsky (@dasos) February 28, 2017me to my parents: im gay
them: wtf
me: wait till u hear this; i pretend to be a dog online and i plan to spend thousands on a dog costume
If you have to consider it, then take Kyell Gold’s advice:
if you act like it’s something to be ashamed of, people will pick up on that. If you act like it’s a cool thing, fun, and a positive part of your life, which I think for most of us it is, then that’s how your friends and family will view it.
Hey Caz – show this to your dad, and tell him thanks for helping to make a cool story about his cute, fluffy son.
UPDATE:
Here's a picture of my parents reading the @DogpatchPress article about them. They both were laughing a ton during the reading x3 pic.twitter.com/ondds9fOwG
— slurp dog (@CazCoyote) March 2, 2017Artist ID’d – it’s Tsaiwolf.
@Tsaiwolf now you can say your prints are parent approved! :p
— slurp dog (@CazCoyote) March 1, 2017Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Trailer #2
Trailer: Spark, A Space Tail
A new furry space film from Gulfstream Pictures, the guys that brought us the Nut Job. This is yet another finished film that's been languishing around for a year before it actually hits the theater.
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La Saga d’Atlas & Axis, t.4, by Pau – French comic review by Fred Patten.
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
La Saga d’Atlas & Axis, t.4, by Pau.
Roubaix, France, Ankama Éditions, September 2016, hardcover €12.90 (60 + [3] pages).
Lex Nakashima & I again present our conspiracy to get you to read French animalière bandes dessinées; in volume 4 ET DERNIER of the Saga of Atlas & Axis!
If you’ve been following Jean-Marc Pau’s adventures of the two talking dogs since t.1 was published in August 2011, here is the conclusion.
Frankly, this isn’t at all what I was expecting – so much so that I’m tempted to ignore this ending and leave the series hanging. For two reasons. Firstly, it’s much more somber and melancholy than I’d expected. I don’t demand a happy ending, but this is depressing. Secondly, the whole purpose of Nakashima’s and my conspiracy is to present French-language anthro-animal comics that aren’t likely to be published in English; and the publication of this whole series in English has just been announced! More on this below.
For three albums now, Atlas (Afghan hound) and Axis (terrier mutt) have wandered the world of Pangea, searching for the Magic Bone of Khimera (whatever that is) that would prove whether wolves and dogs were created independently, or whether dogs evolved from wolves. It was easy to see Pangea as a funny-animal 10th-century Europe, with Viking raiders and the “where did dogs come from” controversy standing for the religious debates within Christianity of that time. The only thing that didn’t fit were the exploding sheep, and that could be dismissed as Pau being humorous.
In this final volume, the world of Pangea turns out to be A LOT earlier! Atlas & Axis have anticlimactic adventures with the Mutton Sect (sheep aren’t goats!), and a sentient Tyrannosaur. They finally find that Khimera is a place. Its entrance takes them far underground.
There they meet Doctor Fuz, an unknown animal (a cat), whose advanced civilization on the other side of Pangea, unknown to the dogs, is about to destroy the world. The two rival nations of the cats have each launched a giant moon, Luna and Ragnarok. Ragnarok’s orbit is unstable, and it’s just about to crash to Pangea. The crash, which is analogous to the meteor strike that caused the dinosaurs’ extinction around 65 million years ago, kills all life on Pangea! Only Atlas & Axis (and Doctor Fuz, and a few mice), far below the earth, escape it.
So life as we know it today, dominated by humans and with unintelligent dogs & cats (and nonexploding sheep, and without Tyrannosaurs), has evolved all over again. Will we be any smarter than the cats, and not destroy our Earth? Incidentally, Atlas & Axis died eons ago of old age.
Well. Finally, don’t miss the interview (in English) with Pau on FurryFandom.es, where he says that the whole series will be published in English by Titan Books in London in May 2017. He doesn’t say whether this translation will be four separate albums or a single 240-page novel. And despite his hints, I sure don’t see how there can be a sequel to this.
Mews and Clues
This May, IDW will release a brand new card game for young mystery fans called Purrrlock Holmes — Furriarty’s Trail (created by Stephen Sauer and illustrated by Jacqui Davis). Here’s what they say: “Furriarty is terrorizing London and he must be stopped before he completes his plans and escapes! As a newly inducted Inspector at Scotland Pound, it’s up to you to bust members of Furriarty’s gang in order to get closer to the bewhiskered baddie that’s been bullying all of Baker Street. Get ready detective, this case is officially afoot (or a paw, if you will).” What they’re not saying is: What’s the connection (if any) between this and the Purrlock Holmes series of young-reader mystery novels by Betty Sleep? You’ll know when we do! Here’s more about the game from TGN.
image c. 2017 IDW Publishing
TigerTails Radio Season 10 Episode 13
Old Fangs
Here's an older artsy film about a young wolf confronting his father after many years. Sometimes family is never an easy thing. (I think I'm just in an artsy and pretensions mood today ... it may be the rain.)
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Get freaky at Dante’s InFURno – the Burning Man theme camp for sex-positive furries.
Burning Man in photos. (Reuters/Jim Urquhart)
Burning Man is the annual, radical art festival in Nevada. It draws creative people of all stripes to a temporary city in the desert for anything-goes social experimenting. It’s been there since 1990 (the year of ConFurence 1 – maybe we can call them subcultures of a shared zeitgeist.) It fertilizes the roots of some of Furry’s most exciting activity. It’s one of those Furry Illuminati connections that casual members may not know. (There’s no Wikifur page for Burning Man).
Furries at Burning Man 16: Dante's Infurno, Relay hawks Camp Fur snowcones, awesome Furryburner art created in camp. pic.twitter.com/YeZeYjuCvx
— Vox Fox (@minstrelbill) September 7, 2016Find the Burner/Furry connection in my interview with Neonbunny. He founded the festival’s Camp Fur. Those carroty roots grew into his series of dance parties in the San Francisco Bay Area, which led him to found Frolic party in 2010. That spawned a mini-movement of furry dances across North America.
See Camp Fur and what it’s for at Furryburners.com:
If you thought I was joking about conspiracy – this goes all the way up to the president. Burner luminary Lindz was invited to the White House to show his anthropomorphic robot, Russell the Electric Giraffe. The national news didn’t tell it, but that was a furry shaking hands with President Obama.
I’m happy to introduce their fellow rock star, a dragon from Vancouver. Thanks to Asunyra for talking with Dogpatch Press!
For Asunyra, the roots grew in a slightly different shape. He’s a tech entrepreneur by occupation. For passion, he leads his own Burning Man camp, and promotes sex-positivity in furry. Get a taste of it when he throws “Trippy Cuddle Parties” at cons.
Cons bring furries together, but things can only go so far at hotels. Watch how far things go when furries have unlimited freedom in the desert. (Have you ever seen a vibrating dragon-dildo chandelier?) – Patch
Asunyra talks about his ambitious theme camp, “Dante’s Infurno.”
(Asunyra:) Here’s a bunch of photos of the camp from various events and the whole build process. These two are probably the best photos of the structure. (Photos by Luke.Me.Up). I’ll tell you the general story of how it came to be.
Our background
My partner Lummox and I have been each active with Burning Man for 10 or 15 years, and in the furry community about as long. We’ve done a lot of big builds for Burning Man in the form of art cars (like venusravertrap.com), local fundraiser parties, theme camps etc – and on the furry side, we’ve hosted our trippy cuddle parties at maybe a dozen or more cons over the years.
Halfway home from #fc2016. Thanks to everyone that came by or helped with the Trippy Furry Cuddle Party room! pic.twitter.com/ATXcBufhB8
— Asunyra (@asunyra) January 20, 2016For the past few years, we’ve also hosted sex-positive house parties for the local furry and burner communities, with anywhere from 70 to 200 people in attendance. We’ve carefully maintained a good safe environment, emphasizing enthusiastic consent, proper communication of boundaries and have put a lot of effort into making sure the guests are all people that we can trust and vouch for.
Here’s what one of the spaces looks like:
(Read more – The Furry House – a base for creativity and community. – Patch)
For work, Lummox is an industrial millwright and public sculpture artist, and I’m a tech entrepreneur in the telecommunications industry.
Why Dante’s was created
In 2015, Lummox was taking the year off from Burning Man and I wanted to bring our furry party experience there, so we spent a month or so building a custom insulated 280 sq ft air-conditioned structure (the “cuddle yurt”) that inside was all cushions and trippy decorations. This would serve just like our room parties as a sex positive space for fursuiters, furries and fur-curious folks of playa to cuddle and play.
As I was going solo, my intention was to join an existing camp rather than start a new one. But after a lot of discussion online, I discovered that established furry theme camps were very against sex being publicly associated with furries, out of concern for the image of the fandom. Uncle Kage’s principles were referenced as an excuse to hide and shame the sexual side of the fandom, and it was made clear that my space was not welcome. At the last minute, I found a small furry camp out in the suburbs that would accommodate me and decided to go for it anyways.
It took two days of driving from Vancouver, and four days of work onsite to put the structure together by myself, but I had a great time doing it and met a lot of very supportive folks in the process (like Amenophis, Duke, Zarafa, and Ashke). I also brought our Venus Raver Trap remote controlled armchair drone, and controlled it from inside the cuddle yurt. (Photo):
Back home safely from Burning Man. Hardest working year yet for me but super rewarding. Met so many awesome people! pic.twitter.com/08ucZt7nGI
— Asunyra (@asunyra) September 9, 2015Being out in the suburbs meant that few people could find it, but all in, it was one of my best years at Burning Man and it gave me a ton of enthusiasm to come back bigger and better.
The build process
In February 2016, Lummox and I decided that Burning Man could really use a standalone sex-positive furry camp, and we were up for the challenge of doing it. Lummox always wanted to build an homage to the strip club from Beetlejuice and we figured why not use this as an excuse, so Dante’s InFURno was born. A raunchy over-the-top strip club would be a fun way to showcase the sexual side of furry to the folks of Burning Man.
We started by digging out some fibreglass I-beams that he had, built the floor layout, support posts, upper and lower walls, and giant signs. The whole thing had to come apart to fit on a 16′ tandem axle trailer (ikea flat pack style), so we made all the major structure bolt together and the non structural panels click in with door hinges and hitch pins. Lummox did all the structural layout and design, the two of us spent almost all of our spring and summer weekends on construction, and some of our local friends helped with painting. One of our local furry artist friends generously designed the big dragon head for us and helped us find a way to get it printed and cut from plywood.
I think this photo kinda captures our build style best – we just kept holding up a screenshot from the movie and kinda winging it.
There’s horror themed bars, and clown themed bars, but no Furry bars in the world that I know of yet – thanks to Asunyra for dreaming one. – Patch
Last year’s events
Our very first public build of Dante’s was at the Seattle regional burn, Critical Northwest in 2016. Rummy and Yotice joined us with their Coyote Garden art piece, and the four of us put everything together over two 12 hour build days. The space was a huge hit, busy all night every night. Rummy donated an old CRT television with built-in VCR that we hung from the ceiling of the dome and used to play 8-hour tapes of furry porn, and Lummox would stand on the top floor balcony and remote control the Raver Trap armchair in front of camp for hours every night. Despite getting rained out the night before teardown, we had no major snags and everyone had a great time.
Two weeks later we brought Dante’s to our local Vancouver BC Burning Man regional, Burn in the Forest. We were placed in the “red light district” in the spot that had previously been the main orgy space, so the vibe there was definitely a lot more open sex. We also had a bigger sound system and great DJ performances, so it was kept very busy. At one point one of our campmates – exhausted from set up – had fallen asleep in the middle of the cuddle pit, only to get woken up and bolt upright to find several couples enthusiastically having sex all around him.
At both of these events, Dante’s was really appreciated – but it wasn’t really that furry, as the few of us running the camp were pretty much the only furs there. It was at Burning Man that the place really came into its own as a furry theme camp. There, we teamed up with Varka (co-founder of Bad Dragon)- who made a vibrating dragon dick chandelier, and Dave the Dinosaur, a dirty insult-spewing dinosaur-shaped vending machine that dispensed free tiny dicks all week.
Thanks to help from FUR, we were placed right near their camp, on a prominent busy street corner right near the centre of Black Rock City. Lots of people would come back and bring their friends to show them the space, the dick chandelier, or to get accosted by Dave.
We had the cuddle yurt in full operation all week, and it worked great. Daytime it was used mostly by the general public to hide in the air conditioning from the heat, and at night it was usually full of cuddly furries and curious non-furries. At one point some of us were interviewed in Dante’s for a podcast. (In this one I’m Saffron, the name of the fursuit I was in.)
“I have been waiting for this moment for years. I finally sat down with the wonderful people from the Fur community and got to learn all about their wonderful intricate and complex world that is like a Russian doll when you start to peel back the fur.
Dante’s Inferno is a camp for Furries (which was one of 5 Fur camps) built by two super MacGyvers from Vancouver that featured a giant chandelier in the center of the room lit up by 10 fantasy dildos representing every kind of dragon, unicorn, and tentacle dick a furry heart could desire. (Dragon dicks have SCALES!)” (-Zoe Nightingale)
I’ll take the cutie on the right. – Patch
This year
We’ve already started planning this year’s events, and our telegram group is busy with tons of exciting project ideas. We’ll be bringing Dante’s to Burn in the Forest again, and also to Burning Man. Because of how popular it was last year, we’ll be going from 4-6 campmates to almost 20 at each event – which means more volunteer hands for setup, teardown and shifts running the space, so it should be a much bigger and smoother operation.
Lummox and I have bought an old 30’ city bus, and are converting it to be our new towing rig for the Dante’s trailer. We’re covering it in almost 3000 watts of solar panels so that we can run most of our camp without generator power this year. We’re also building a “ghetto” streetscape to extend off the Dante’s frontage with a boarded up pet shop, cash for gold pawn shop, maybe a passed out furry hobo mannequin. Plans are to have a new bar, new sound equipment, and bigger DJ lineup.
I’m pretty passionate about this project (and about promoting sex-positivity in furry in general), so I’m really excited to share!
Steal Snacks and Look Good Doing It
That’s the official slogan of Trash Panda. They’re a new clothing company started by a pair of fans from Southern California. They state their philosophy like this: “Whether it’s rolling that critical hit, landing that hit on someone’s face, or simply eating that last slice of pizza, or sitting down for a long session of talking and video games you should enjoy what you look like. Live on the outside.” That’s fannish. To that end they have a growing line of nerdy-themed t-shirts, several of which feature anthropomorphic designs. Visit their shop on-line to see what they have so far. And of course they’ll be adding more.
image c. 2017 Trash Panda
Episode 341 - 101010101
Milow – Howling At The Moon
A Glimpse of Anthropomorphic Literature, ed. AnthroAquatic – book review by Fred Patten.
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
A Glimpse of Anthropomorphic Literature, AnthroAquatic, ed.
Plainfield, CT, Goal Publications, November 2016, trade paperback $10.00 (153 pages).
A Glimpse of Anthropomorphic Literature was originally a three-issue online magazine of 45 to 50 pages each, published in January, March, and August 2016. This small (5 x 0.3 x 8 inches), slim volume collects all three issues into one handy paper edition, minus the advertisements.
The contents are published as they appeared in the magazine issues; mostly a mixture of short stories and reviews. The book’s most serious lack is a combined table of contents. There are 14 short stories and 11 reviews (also an interview with S. Andrew Swann, and an analysis of Felix Salten’s 1923 novel Bambi: A Life in the Woods as an example for the furry writer; both by Donald Jacob Uitvlugt). The reader is forced to hunt through the whole book to find anything.
The short stories are all under ten pages each. Most are whimsical fantasies. Two, “The Mouse Who Was Born a Bear” and “Sheeperfly’s Lullaby”, both by Mary E. Lowd, are on the ALAA’s 2016 Recommended List of furry short fiction of the year worth reading. Notable others include “Catching the Thief” by Amy Fontaine, “Sheets and Covers” by Ocean Tigrox, “The Charitable Pact of a Soft-hearted Fool” by Slip-Wolf, “Beast” by Frances Pauli, and “Promises to Keep” by Renee Carter Hall.
The brevity and whimsicality of the fiction, plus its interruption by so many book reviews, makes A Glimpse of Anthropomorphic Fiction (cover by Aisha Robinson) an intellectual trifle, the literary equivalent of a box of chocolates. Is it worth reading? Very much so, but you will want to read it in short bursts, two or three stories and a review or two at a time, rather than all at once.
This has been a short review of a short book of short stories.
Full disclosure: I am the writer of three of the reviews in it.
-Fred Patten
Thrust! Parry! Crochet!
The artist Cielo Pinawin is crafter who chrochets fuzzy character dolls, and she sells them on line as CrochetGiftsbyCielo. She specializes in Pokemon characters, but lately she’s branched out into other anime critters and even the Ninja Turtles. All of her creations are hand-made and customized when you order them. Visit her Etsy Store to see what she’s done so far.
image c. 2017 by Cielo Pinawin
Trailer: Night In The Woods
New stylish furry video game hit this week from from Infinite Fall. This one is on Steam as I type this. "NIGHT IN THE WOODS is an adventure game focused on exploration, story, and character, featuring dozens of characters to meet and lots to do across a lush, vibrant world."
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Last Dance of the Phoenix, by James R. Lane – book review by Fred Patten.
Submitted by Fred Patten, Furry’s favorite historian and reviewer.
Last Dance of the Phoenix, by James R. Lane
Raleigh, NC, Lulu Press, August 2016, trade paperback $14.99 (254 pages), Kindle $2.51.
This s-f novel is set in the near future. Thomas Barnes has an Artificial Intelligence in his home, but he also wears a dark blue NRA ball cap, eats at a McDonald’s, drives on Florida’s Highway I-95, drinks Gatorade, and is familiar with the TV program Final Jeopardy.
Two years previously, Earth was discovered by aliens (in flying saucers) and welcomed into the galactic community. The four spacegoing species of aliens that humans meet just happen to look like anthropomorphic foxes, cheetahs, otters, and rabbits.
Convenient? Maybe too convenient? Barnes thinks so.
“No bug-eyed monsters, no giant slugs, spiders, dragons, demons, birds – nothing else. Aliens that didn’t seem so alien after all, apparently guaranteed not to terribly upset ape-based humanity’s rabid xenophobia. To me and a lot of others it just seemed too damned pat. Somebody – or something – had to have engineered all this. Cute.” (p. 10)
Barnes has just returned to Jacksonville, Florida from traveling to the Yularian (fox) home world after having been rejuvenated. This was an experiment. The (expensive) Yularian rejuvenation process is well-known to them, but nobody was sure whether it would work on humans, so they selected Barnes to be their guinea pig. They chose him because he was famous (a very popular science-fiction author whose stories included friendly aliens) and now about to die of old age. He went to their planet in one of their FTL ships, and was returned to Jacksonville’s new spaceport when it seems to be a success.
Barnes is supposed to have the Yularian elderly doctor who supervised his rejuvenation come to Earth with him, to spend three months making sure his rejuvenation remains successful. Instead he is met by L’raan, a pretty (if you like foxes) young vixen who is one of Dr. N’looma’s graduate students. A last-minute family emergency has prevented Dr. N’looma from coming to Earth, and L’raan has been chosen to replace her. Barnes quickly figures out that all the other Yularians on the project refused to come to Earth, and L’raan, the juniormost, was stuck with it. She also seems to be horribly sick. The two are assured by the Yularian embassy that it’s the affects of FTL travel and that she’ll recover in a couple of days. Barnes suspects that she’s been poisoned – and that whoever is trying to kill her will also kill him to make it look like the rejuvenation process went wrong.
What follows is a James Bond scenario with Barnes as the invincible agent and L’raan as the beautiful (but furry) girl whom he protects.
“‘The first thing is, what information you know about me isn’t all that wrong,’ I stated, ‘but there are a few key elements missing.’
‘Like me,’ Art said, smiling. ‘Tom’s novels are quite popular with a lot of scientists and government officials, and over the years he made a number of, shall we say, ‘influential’ friends and contacts in some fairly important agencies, including those agencies that don’t have publicly-known names. After your people contacted humanity and eventually made us the rejuvenation offer, some of us in a few of those agencies feared that something unpleasant might be in the plans before all of this was over.’” (pgs. 71-72)
Barnes has been a secret agent for the U.S. government all along. It’s also how he could recognize that L’raan had been poisoned instead of just being sick. He deduces that her poisoners are other foxes in the nearby Yularian embassy, so he’s prepared when his home is attacked at night by alien assassin drones. L’raan, who feels betrayed by her own people, confirms that they are Yularian military technology. Barnes calls in Art Goldman and his military research team; they report what’s happening to the U.S. government; and Barnes and L’raan are invited to help the government investigate what’s going on.
A comic inconvenience is that the Yularian scientists enhanced and altered Barnes’ sense of smell when they rejuvenated him. L’raan happens to be going through one of her periods of heat. Normally this wouldn’t be noticed by humans except as a slightly increased vulpine muskiness. But to Barnes, L’raan may look sexy (if you’re into foxes) but she stinks to high heaven!
Are the assassins who are after Barnes and L’raan from the Yularian government, or from a faction within it that their government is innocent of? Or have some of the local Yularians sold out to either the Dralorians (otters), the Eelon (cheetahs), or the Ar’kaa (rabbits)? Is it an anti-human secret society that is against just Barnes and the Yularians who work with him, or do the villains have a larger and more ominous goal?
“‘Ambassador D’naad,’ I began, ‘my friends here and I, along with certain high-ranking governmental and military officials here on Earth, are convinced that this…campaign…against us is not the work of one person, or even a small group of people. What we first thought to be a possible political ploy or power struggle is now, we feel, something more akin to a move toward genocide, of who and by whom we don’t yet know. […] But I can tell you with certainty that we need your help. Hopefully we still have time to defuse the situation, but that time is no doubt growing short, and we’re certain it will eventually run out.’” (p. 133)
As matters grow more dramatic, Tom and representatives of all four aliens are invited as guests to the Paws’N’Claws furry convention, and are publicly attacked there by the mysterious enemy who doesn’t care how many fursuiters are collateral victims.
Who is the enemy of the humans? The foxes? The cheetahs? The otters? The rabbits? Or – something else?
Last Dance of the Phoenix (cover by Eugene Arenhaus) is a blend of current military technology (Art calls an Army AH-64A Apache battle helicopter to land on Tom’s lawn) and futuristic alien science (the spaceships, the FTL drive, the rejuvenation process, the Yularian interstellar videophone). It feels like there’s a bit of Mary Sue here – “James R. Lane is a retired Florida photojournalist” and obviously a s-f writer, who is probably ripe for rejuvenation – but on the whole, this is a (slightly wordy) clever near-future espionage-action thriller featuring a young-again hero that furry fans will really identify with, and villains whose identities you are almost guaranteed to not guess in advance.