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That British 'yote's back again. In other words, hello.

I'm stuck in a bit of a tricky situation regarding my education and its driving me mad.

I train as a mechanic for a good part of my school time and if I was to assess how good I was at it, I would say I was mediocre, not too shabby, but nothing to write home about. Thing is, my mother believes that I am superb at it and that I can do it better than anyone else. Which I can't.

I went to do some work experience, I do it once a fortnight and apparently they think I'm very good as well.

I am a sort of glass-half-empty kinda guy when it comes to myself and my traits and abilities, so perhaps my opinion is twisted, but I generally am not that good at it. Most of the other kids in my class can tear breaks down and rebuild them about 4x faster and more efficiently than I can. But I am very good at the theory stuff, which isn't the most use in the real world. My only other strength over the others is that they’re all nasty bulling arsehole's and I like to think I'm not :P.

Should I stop thinking I'm bad at it and accept that people think I'm good and then run the risk of getting a job off other people’s merits and being rubbish, or just tell my mum I'm useless, even though I might just think I'm rubbish, but not be?

Thanks for any help.

Fred E Coyote (age 15)

* * *

Welcome back, Fred,

In a world where people seem very eager and quick to tell others that they suck, when you hear the opposite then you should take that as a good indication that you do not suck. Now, if it was just your mother praising you, then I could see why you might have some doubt, since mother’s always think highly of their children (well, most do). But you said that the place where you went to get some work experience also had people who felt you were good at your job, so I would run with that opinion.

You are being too self-critical. You know it, too, which is why you call yourself a glass-half-empty person.

So some of your peers can do things faster, so what? Faster doesn’t always mean better. I can get a McDonald’s burger pretty quickly, but it tastes like crap. I would rather wait 20 minutes to get a delicious burger from my favorite restaurant in Palm Springs than a mealy piece of meat injected with chemicals from New Jersey so it vaguely tastes like beef between overly processed buns.

You’re good at theory? Well, perhaps you could become a teacher yourself someday, and that definitely has value. Or, perhaps you should continue your interest in things mechanical and consider studying engineering of some type, or maybe become a CAD/CAM designer. Don’t sell the powers of analytical ability short. This ability of yours might mean you are a little slower repairing a car’s breaks, but could lead to something greater than working in a service shop.

And you’re not a “bullying arsehole”? Well, bravo! There are far too many of those in the world and it’s good to find a person who is genuinely not an arse. That has value, as well.

To summarize: 1) people think you’re good at what you do, 2) you excel at theory, which is a skill that can be applied to more advanced types of work, and 3) you’re not an arsehole.

For God’s sake, don’t tell you’re mom you’re useless rubbish. You’re not. You’ve got a lot going for you. All that is holding you back is your bad self-esteem. Don't get in the way of your own success.

Papabear

submitted by ronoverdrive
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In our last mini-episode before MIDWEST FURFEST, Kenson continues to get more vorey, Dragonien roars and gets ranty, and Kwandry lets loose and gets tipsy. It's... well, it's worth a listen, at least. Episode 11.5 (2013-11-18)

Author: Hey PAPA BEAR, I’ve been having a lot of issues lately with myself and the stability of my own mental and physical well-being but my question here is something I am sure I am not alone in. The question would be, “How can someone deal with a love triangle scenario?” To kind of explain […]

submitted by tanithjackal
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My inner art-whore instincts have really been taking over lately, and I want to expand my interests in the artists I've been missing out on. I watch quite a few people already, but I know that there are many more people out there with exceptional skills. Who do you think deserves recognition for their potential or ability?

Please share and discuss. -^

No smutt peddlers, please, unless it's artistic and tasteful. This isn't r/yiff. Lol XD

submitted by Chaos_Kitten
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Lol some are so ridiculous. my page has 300 views and yet some green fox chick had all her cronies spam my page to have an icon removed >.> free time is strong with that one.

submitted by Mattmenzo
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submitted by robert32907
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Hi there! We have a small community chatroom used for roleplaying (both sexual and nonsexual), chatting, hanging out, and just having fun! We are looking for new members! the link for the chat can be found after our brief list of rules, please read them! :) the rules are as follows:

• Members must be 18 years or older.
• Be respectful of your fellow housemates
• You may only have one character in the chat at a time.
• No drama-queens/drama whoring.
• Obviously; no spamming or trolling
• We always have one or more moderator(s) on to enforce these rules if needs be.

Thanks for taking the time to read our rules :) here is the link to the chatroom (if on a mobile device: use this link)

We are hoping to find members who want to make friends and have fun without starting drama. We are looking for members of all fur/scale types, genders, and orientations. Our population is, as yet, fairly small. We consist of 30-35 regular visitors however our visiting hours are staggered so that there's generally only a small handful of people online at the same time during "off peak" hours. The fandom being what it is, we have many gamers in our ranks as well as a few musicians, writers and graphic artists. Our room is available to all users, although with the content being sexual in nature we request that only users ages 18 and over join up. We have a small team of moderators who enforce our sparing list of rules.

As an aside- If you are engaging in yiff or a discussion/argument that is disruptive to the group as a whole you may be asked to enter a separate room. Asking you to move to another room is not meant as a sign of disrespect or personal issue, just a measure to keep the room as a fun place for everyone. So please stop by and give us a visit sometime! Thanks for reading

(post shamelessly stolen from our admin /u/_Soledad_ with edits from yours truly)

~Toby, a moderator at the FurHouse.

submitted by teh_bakedpotato
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Hey I hope I'm posting this in the right place, if not I apologize. There will be a special edition of the Rocky Horror Picture Show especially for furrys on Saturday the 23rd at midnught in Webster. All are welcome to come. It will be super fun. If this gets enough responses then I'll edit in the location. Comment if interested

submitted by molnijabasser
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Does anyone know of any scholars writing about furries? I'm trying to write an essay. It's for a comparative religious ritual course at my university, and though I don't have a thesis yet, I feel a strong argument could be made in regards to ritual and furry conventions, but I need credible sources. Even just an account of what happens at furry conventions, or perhaps statistics? Thanks for the help!

Here's what I found so far if anyone is interested:

http://www2.asanet.org/sectionanimals/articles/GerbasilFurries.pdf

https://www.academia.edu/2903078/Furries_and_limits_of_species_identity_disorder

https://sites.google.com/site/anthropomorphicresearch/home

submitted by MarkDrees
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As the post says, this is an introduction of sorts. Kinda using this as a way to get myself out there as a writer. been stuck in the backstreets of FA for a while, and being inactive for some time, not a lot of people know about me.

After drifting though several FA accounts, and struggling to find my furry identity for a few years, i finally got everything in order and have all sorts of plans. Time to come out of the closet! [ literally, and figuratively ;) ]

Firstly, My main Fursona, Saleuthe: Snow leopard (Plain white/black combo thing).

Secondly, my other Fursona, Dex: Mouse/Shrew mix (White/Black as well)

They're kind of plain, but whatever. Color dosen't really matter to me that much.

Anyways, I'm not an artist, so you won't see too many pics of my fursona, or other characters.

HOWEVER: I am a writer, and i'll be posting that stuff whenever i finish them; to FA and here. i'm sort of looking for requests on stuff to write, not that i can't come up with my own ideas; i just like writing things for people. Also, seeing as i have little to nothing posted, this will help my collective works grow.

So yeah, you can leave a message on either of the FA's or here. As long as it's not to complicated, i'll consider writing it. My acc. for Saleuthe has nothing posted yet, so be patient. please note that one acc. is STRICTLY for NSFW works. use your filters pl0x.

So here are the links:

Anomynide-Dex [AEDX](18+): http://www.furaffinity.net/user/anomynide/

Saleuthe: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/saleuthe

Anyways, looking forward to the furture and writing for all you lovely furs.

~~Saleuthe-AEDX

submitted by Saleuthe
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submitted by evilsibe
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Hey PAPA BEAR,

I've been having a lot of issues lately with myself and the stability of my own mental and physical well-being but my question here is something I am sure I am not alone in.

The question would be, “How can someone deal with a love triangle scenario?” To kind of explain what I mean I'd have to give a bit of information on what's going on from my perspective at least.

I have had a past love interest with someone before named Mik (pseudonym). My issue with that is at one point I had a very fond attraction for him and it was nearly mutual till events that both of us are in fault for took place and we lost contact with each other for nearly a year and a half. I had a major downfall during those times of major depression and spells of extreme anger which would bring me to tears from how painful the emotions got. As time went on I slowly started to push my mind and feelings away from the first person I ever fell in love for.

I began dating and when I dated Ane (pseudonym) things turned out a bit well for me since the relationship felt healthy in the most part. It wasn't till Ane came back into contact with Mik that I started to go south in both my mental stability and my emotional progress. For many reasons my feelings for Ane became mixed up as my anger for Mik grew stronger and stronger for leaving me behind for my mistakes. I broke things off with Ane and bellowed my way to being alone.

I had a promiscuous time while I was cooling off and made some regretful decisions however as soon as Mik became more involved with Ane a swell of jealousy started to overwhelm me. I started with a goal of wanting to patch up a friendship between me and Mik and still hold on to what I had left of Ane but what ended up happening was unexpected. I began to fall back into those same feelings I once had for Mik. When I found out Mik and Ane had sexual interactions with one another I lost a part of myself.

The situation I am in right now is that Ane still has great feelings for me yet my feelings are not direct as his are. I have extreme feelings for Mik yet I do not know his true feelings since he only teases me and gives me false hopes that he still holds interests in me as well. Mik now has strong feelings for Ane. Both me and Ane have talked things out constantly and we both know that at one point one of us is going to give up and the triangle we have built ourselves into will exist no more and one of us will be left alone. So far Ane and I have confirmed that these have brought in new hardships and I have resorted to causing personal harm to myself to coup with some of my emotions.

So my question again is ... how or in what way can I or we approach this love triangle that has come into our lives and is causing us hardships?

Linus Lavardo (age 20)

* * *

Dear Linus,

Let me see if I can summarize this letter into three bullet points:

1. Linus loves Mik
2. Mik loves Ane
3. Ane loves Linus

This is oversimplifying it, but it helps my old brain keep things straight, if you don’t mind.

The weak part of this triangle here—the part I’m not so sure on—is #3: Ane loves Linus. You, Linus, broke it off with Ane and then Ane and Mik had sexual intercourse, so Ane’s love for you seems tenuous at best.

Now, I don’t know what your “mistakes” were that led to the breakup between you and Mik, but it seems Mik had some reason to leave that relationship. But then Mik did something not so cool by taking up a relationship with Ane (if I have this correct) while you and Ane were seeing each other? (I'm a little confused by your statement that "Ane came back into contact with Mik"—as in they new each other before?)

The chronology of what happened here is not very clear from your letter. Were Ane and Mik just friends when you, in a fit of jealousy, broke it off with Ane and THEN Ane and Mik had sex? OR, did Ane and Mik have sex and then you became jealous and broke it off with Ane? OR, were Ane and Mik at least being very amorous, even though they didn’t have sex, thus inspiring your jealousy?

If Ane and Mik were just friends and you broke it off with Ane, then you really have no right to your moral outrage if they later had sex. However, if they had sex first or at least became romantically involved, then you are at least somewhat justified in being angry. In that case, though, why would you want either one as a partner? The triangle is really broken at this point and you should not be under the delusion that there still is one.

If the former is the case, and they only had sex after your broke it off with Ane, then you have no ground to stand on, and if I were Mik or Ane I would wonder why you are so angry when neither one was your boyfriend at the time.

As you can see, love triangles (as opposed to polygamous relationships) are inherently dysfunctional. They are about as stable as an Egyptian pyramid that has been flipped upside down. Let’s look at the possible future scenarios:

1. Mik convinces Ane that they should be a couple and you are left in the dust.
2. You convince Mik that you really do love him and Ane is left to cry alone.
3. You, Mik, and Ane decide that you will try and continue this triangle, but, based on your past history, as summarized in your letter, your tendency toward jealousy will quickly destroy this arrangement.
4. There is no 4, since you being with Ane is not an option because you don’t really love him.

Linus, even polyamorous relationships rarely work out because they are simply too complicated and there is too much of a tendency for feelings to get hurt. Love triangles are even worse: they are minefields waiting to explode. Best thing for you and all those involved is to break down this geometric nightmare and try something much more linear.

Good luck,

Papabear

submitted by vxd2k7
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submitted by TobiasAmaranth
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Do you keep two identities on the internet? Does it matter if someone searches for you online and finds out you're a furry? Where do you draw the line? Mark joins Roo and Tugs as they read you emails and converse about this very sensitive topic.  What are the pros to having unified identities? The cons to having two identities? How have YOU handled the blurring of the lines? We read your emails on the air and share some very interesting stories.



NOW LISTEN!

 

Show Notes

Special Thanks

Mark, our guest
Trent
Calebfox
Kira the Fox
Smokescale Aquatos, for the ident
Troj
Robert
Keyni
Hazard
Binky Bunny
ALL OF YOU! For being such an awesome audience!

Music and Breaks

Opening theme: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Radio Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission.  (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)
Listener mail segment: Eskadet – Back To Kyoto ;  from the album “Solitudes” (Lemongrassmusic, 2010) - www.lemongrassmusic.de - Used under license.
Closing: Fredrik Miller – Cloud Fields (Chill Out Mix). USA: Bandcamp, 2011. Used with permission. (Buy a copy here – support your fellow furs!)

Next episode: Friendship and the Fandom. Has the fandom given you friendships? How strong are they? What kinds of friends have you found unexpectedly? How as the fandom influenced your social circles? Send your responses in by November 21, 2013! S3 Episode 11 – Online Identities vs the Workplace - Do you keep two identities on the internet? Does it matter if someone searches for you online and finds out you're a furry? Where do you draw the line? Mark joins Roo and Tugs as they read you emails an

submitted by HarmonyHeartstrings
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submitted by awesomeme99
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Closing these for a little bit, I'll be back tonight!~

submitted by HarmonyHeartstrings
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