Feed aggregator

submitted by sploggs
[link] [16 comments]

Papabear,

Let me paraphrase this by saying I'm "quite young" as people want to say; just turned 21. But this is a question I've been thinking about for awhile and it's been bugging me.

I've been in a few relationships since I turned 14, and each has turned bad. The first one was toxic from start to finish and was a nightmare in every sense of the word. The second was with my first girlfriend, and it was the best relationship that I had. We were loving and honestly thought we might have a future together beyond high school. We hit college and by the second semester she left because she wanted to "have fun outside of a relationship" and would go on to study abroad.

My third relationship was exceptionally short-term; we broke up within a month after we decided we just didn't fit. The fourth turned sour after I left to study abroad myself and we just couldn't make it work. And all of this has made me wonder if I'm really fit for relationships.

I won't say I'm not an overprotective type; I'm a huge worry wart. I get it from my mother; both of us think the worst out of every situation and always freak when we don't hear from loved ones exactly when we're supposed to. Admittedly, this behavior's driven me to try and have my partners not go out and party or have fun because I'm worried something will happen to them (mugging, assault, rape etc.) and when I don't hear from them for long periods of time I suffer incredible anxiety attacks.

I'm just wondering if I should abandon relationships because of this. It might seem like a mountain out of a molehill situation, but to me it feels like something I can't change. I've tried to relax in relationships and be OK with everything, but I'm just always afraid I'll lose them, and it makes me a toxic person to be around when I can't handle the idea that they're possibly hurt or worse when they could just stay home and be safe. I know they should go out, enjoy life and so on, but I'm so afraid of that accident happening that whenever they do and I'm not around I just can't help but get mad at them for endangering themselves, even if I know the environment is generally safe!

I just can't really figure out what to do, and feel that giving up relationships would benefit people who WOULD want to date me in the future; save them the trouble of putting up with a paranoid ass who'd rather they wither away at home than take chances and go out and have fun.

La V

* * *

Dear La V,

You are suffering from what psychologists call Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Instead of giving up any hope for a relationship, what you should do is find treatment for your GAD so that you can then go on to lead a more normal life that includes finding a loving partner.

There are a number of treatments for GAD, ranging from seeking a psychotherapist to prescriptions for Xanax and other medications. You don’t mention seeking treatment in your letter, so I am assuming you have not done so and probably should. There could be a subconscious or unconscious source for your anxiety that is best addressed by a trained therapist.

On top of such treatment, you should do whatever you can to reduce stress in your life. If you have an overly hectic schedule, review it and see what things you can cut out of the schedule to allow yourself some downtime. Also, make sure that you get 7-8 full hours of restful sleep a night. During the day, adopt an exercise routine. Exercise is an amazingly effective way to reduce stress. I recommend activities such as brisk walks, swimming, yoga, or tai chi.

Before doing this, you might also pay a visit to your family doctor. Are you, for instance, taking any medications? Medicines containing amphetamines, hormones, blood pressure meds, and asthma medications all have the potential for causing anxiety as a side effect. A general physical can also tell your doctor if you have any issues that might need addressing (high blood pressure, for instance, or diabetes, or you might have food allergies that can affect your mood).

Furthermore, there are things you can do about your diet to ease anxiety. Foods/nutrients that help ease anxiety include: food rich in B1 and B12 vitamins (beans, leafy greens, beef, pork, chicken, nuts, eggs, and fruits); carb-rich foods (beans, whole grain breads) have serotonin and lift your mood; omega-3 foods, such as fish, which have the added benefit of lowering your risk of heart disease; yogurt, soy, lentils, meats with high protein content. Foods to avoid include anything with aspartame (diet drinks and many other “diet” foods with this artificial sweetener) because aspartame is simply poison that can damage your nervous system, including your brain; caffeinated drinks are also a no-no; anything with a high sugar content (whether regular sugar or high fructose corn syrup; if you need to sweeten something, use honey, especially raw honey, or Stevia [Truvia®]); booze, tobacco, and illicit drugs should be avoided; artificial food coloring, too; processed foods of any kind, including stuff that is boxed, canned, or comes from a fast food place. Basically, the American diet is garbage and is making a lot of people physically, mentally, and emotionally ill.

There is a lot you can do for your GAD, so don’t throw up your hands in despair and believe you are stuck with it. Once you have that under control, you will be better able to enjoy a healthy relationship.

Good Luck!

Papabear

submitted by Nintyboi
[link] [5 comments]

I would love to get art but I don't have any money so I was wondering if any artists were doing requests?

submitted by SillyMLGDoge
[link] [4 comments]

hey im stuck between to type style of color for reggie could im going post up 4 different picture could you guys help me out

submitted by xxaztechxx
[link] [11 comments]

submitted by Rolo_Swag
[link] [41 comments]

Headlines, links and little stories to make your tail wag.  Tips are always welcome.  ____________________________ Fandom News _____________________________ Furries donate thousands to help Draces beat cancer – He faces $90,000 in medical bills. The donor page shows many furries pitching $100 or more each. The current total is around half of a $10,000 goal. On FurAffinity, Draces posted: I want […]

submitted by DustyTheLion
[link] [7 comments]

submitted by AuraWolfFurry
[link] [1 comment]

submitted by TTypoTheFabulous
[link] [19 comments]

submitted by Ryuu_Girl
[link] [11 comments]

Hey fuzzbutts! My desktop is dangerously lacking furry shtuff and it'd be super amazing if I could get some help c:

Also, free hugs for all! snuggle

submitted by pawstreet
[link] [1 comment]

Wild Things 2:  at San Francisco’s Citadel club – April 12, 2015 Artists and dealers are invited to show and sell your wares. Info: (Ask me – patch.ofurr at gmail.) Spring brings the birds and bees… and a surprise almost too hot to bear!  The uncaged, unleashed Wild Things party is back.  A special group of furries are partnered with a […]

submitted by DeadMaul
[link] [4 comments]

I grew up as a boyscout, and still am one! They taught me all sorts of things about knots! I learned the square knot, thief's knot, Two Half hitches, the rescue knot and much more! Very interesting knots are. Especially long knots. Oh like the knots you make for tying your shoes of course! Hmmm y'know I bet knots are useful in the furry world, don't you? Infact what are some great uses of knots you know?

Pshhh this post is in no way sexual what are you talking about? We're just discussing knots.

Edit: we've said knot so much it's staring to sound like a really strange word. Which always happens when you say the same thing alot. You question it's existence.

submitted by Foxes281
[link] [32 comments]

submitted by TerrorBite
[link] [10 comments]

submitted by Metalmanage
[link] [11 comments]

submitted by kinilkyway
[link] [comment]

submitted by linty-lint
[link] [1 comment]

Richie Wu is an artist who spent six years working in the gaming industry, as well as teaching illustration on the side. He’s worked on feature films like Toy Story 3 from Disney/Pixar, and TV series like Ben 10 Alienforce from Cartoon Network. Now he’s aiming his artistic talents at a new outlet: A line of illustrated t-shirts based on his original canine comic creations. Dogs like Garlic the chihuahua, Booze the bulldog, and Mocha the German shepherd, among several others. Visit his web site, Bad to the Bone, to see the latest in his growing set of designs. Currently residing in Las Vegas, Nevada, Mr. Wu also has a permanent display selling his t-shirts at the Galleria at Sunset Mall in nearby Henderson.

image c. 2015 by Richie Wu