Review: ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ Royal Pony Wedding DVD (with bonus kitty)

“Educated horses. Don’t you want to ride it?”
- Rob Zombie, “Foxy Foxy”

During a fairly routine to a local Wal-Mart, I stopped by the “Entertainment” section because, due to geographic isolation, Wal-Mart is the only source for new books and movies I have. You see what I have to work with here?

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find a copy of Mr. Zombie’s latest remix album, Mondo Sex Head in the new CDs display and a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic “Royal Pony Wedding” DVD in the television section. As these two unlikely cart-mates made their way to the checkout lane, I wondered what in my personal history could have led to this moment. I cannot remember any specific inciting incident, and do not have the scars necessary for amnesia due to massive head trauma, so I must have repressed it.

But perhaps there is some weird connection; after all, Mondo Sex Head features a kitten on the album cover, I have trouble remembering if “Black Sunshine” is a White Zombie song or a background pony, and that Queen Chrysalis is fairly scary, considering. Mondo Sex Head is good in its way, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is good in its own. However, despite song titles such as “Foxy Foxy” and “Superbeast”, and lyrics like “tender is the fur,” only one is furry enough to be reviewed on Flayrah.

The Episodes

Shout! Factory has put together five episodes for this DVD, which is disappointing, to say the least. None of the episodes is the worst in the series, mostly because they already put “Over a Barrel” in their last DVD collection. But none are close to my five favorite, either (for the record, from five to one, “Green Isn’t Your Color,” “The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000,” “Party of One,” “Luna Eclipsed” and “A Bird in the Hoof”).

In any case, they include:

A Canterlot Wedding: Part 1

Twilight Sparkle and the gang are invited to the wedding between Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. Everyone is excited except Twilight, who is not happy with Shining Armor because he’s her brother, and he never told her about marrying anyone, and then not happy because Princess Cadance is kind of a … word we do not say in reviews of My Little Pony, anyway. Basically just a set up for:

A Canterlot Wedding: Part 2

The episode begins with a title card reading “Previously, on My Little Pony,” a phrase that is awesome in the face of everything logical. A villain is revealed, and did I say she was just “fairly scary, considering” earlier? She’s a better tribute to the titular monster in Ridley Scott’s Alien than any monster appearing in Scott’s own Prometheus. That movie stank. One of those episodes where the show forgets it is a glorified pony doll commercial and goes into full on superhero mode, despite being an episode that is specifically aimed at introducing new pony dolls into the toyline.

Heart and Hooves Day

The pick of the litter, this episode features the Cutie Mark Crusaders trying to hook up Apple Bloom’s big brother with their Cheerilee for pony Valentine’s day. Kind of a practice run for the wedding two-parter, actually; a little sister trying to stop an older brother rushing into a marriage while under the influence of harmful magic. A great example of the show sounding girly as all get out in the one line description, but still managing to appeal to a broader audience. The Cutie Mark Crusaders manage to be adorable little girls, realistically written characters and silly funny animal cartoons, all at the same time. Sweetie Belle is my favorite Cutie Mark Crusader. That is not a sentence I ever expected to write.

Sweet and Elite

The weakest episode of the five featured. I once compared the main cast of this show to The Avengers, but in day to day episodes, a better comparison might be to the cast of Friends. The show is often a sitcom, albeit with talking, magical ponies, and in this episode Rarity/Ross does funny Rarity/Ross things in Canterlot/New York. It is a completely average episode. We laugh while it’s on, then forget about it when it’s not.

The Best Night Ever

The only first season episode, and between this and “A Canterlot Wedding: Part 2,” this collection contains both season finales. The cast heads to the Grand Galloping Gala, where they expect great things to happen. They do not. The lesson of the story may have been aimed at fans of the show who were expecting the episode to blow the roof off, as it was the season one finale. Fans expecting the return of superheroics were probably disappointed, but as a “sitcom” episode, it is one of the better.

DVD Extras

On that note, do not go in expecting a lot of extras. Fans will just have to keep waiting for the audio commentary explaining Lauren Faust’s feelings about Derpy Hooves, who is best pony or just how “anthropomorphic” the show is. Instead, we get two songs with lyrics and a printable coloring book page. Also, just in case you forgot this show was not a giant advertisement for pony dolls, there is a coupon for five dollars off a toy.

There’s the main problem with the DVD; if you are not going to give us much more than five episodes that Hasbro allows everyone and their dog to post online anyway, what’s the point? At the very least, pick a better song than “Love is in Bloom” to feature, which comes third out of three of songs from the two wedding episodes. “This Day Aria” is much pretty darn good, but the best is definitely the surprisingly bittersweet yet catchy “Big Brother Best Friend Forever.”

Seriously, I have had that song and Rob Zombie’s “Foxy Foxy” stuck in my head for days, which is a combination that would drive a lesser man to madness.