Review: 'Science Friction', by Kyell Gold

Science Friction is a work of anthropomorphic fiction for adult readers only. (publisher’s advisory)

Whew! Is it possible to write a plot synopsis of this X-rated farce that’s not X-rated itself? Well, let’s try.

FurPlanet Productions, September 2011, trade paperback $9.95 (vii + 82 pages; at Amazon). Illustrations by Cirrus Kitfox.

Dr. Laurence Forrest, an older fox research scientist at Hoffridge University (“Hot Fudge U”), is secretly (he imagines) gay, and is carrying on a steamy affair with Vacqui “Vaxy” Donovan (the narrator), his pine marten (not a weasel!) lab assistant. Janine Forrest, Larry’s wife, has long since figured out that he is gay and has a homosexual partner, but she doesn’t know who it is. She tries to find out if it is Vaxy, but fortunately for him, he’s bisexual; so he is able to demonstrate to her that he’s not uninterested in females. (Although all his dorm pals, Mike the rabbit, Wally the armadillo, and “Grace” the fennec, know that he’s at least gay -- they are, too.)

But Mrs. Forrest does convince Vaxy that her husband has a gay lover in addition to him. Since Vaxy wants to protect his own secret, as well as discover Dr. Forrest’s other gay lover, he pretends that he will help Mrs. Forrest to unmask Larry’s paramour. Vaxy doesn’t have much trouble learning who it is, but in the process he makes Mrs. Forrest suspicious that he’s bi. As she keeps phoning him to check at the most inconvenient times, Vaxy’s impromptu excuses get wilder and harder to manufacture proof for.

Vaxy doesn’t have any secrets from his dorm-mates, who offer raunchy quips and suggestions:

Mike’s big long ears twitch. Wally brays with laughter. ‘Who stays home and studies at Hot Fudge U? I tell ya, when I get to my second year, I ain’t gonna get boring like you losers. Tell you where I’m gonna be tomorrow night.’
‘Under that cute rat,’ Mike says.
‘Naked,’ I add. (p. 9)

‘She thinks I went to a fake conference with him on the islands last month.’
‘Did you?’
‘No! He went with …’ I pause, trying to remember whose secret I’m supposed to keep and which ones don’t matter. […]
Mike chews thoughtfully. ‘Y’know, Vaxy, if you’re gonna borrow drama from movies, you should watch good ones. I’ll loan you All About Eve.’ (p. 25)

‘I talked to Tom about him.’
His eyebrows lower and then skyrocket. ‘Tom the lemur? Tom was his grad student, too?’ I nod. ‘Tom as in ‘five guys in one night’ Tom?’
‘Tom recommended me to him.’
Grace takes another bite and chews slowly. ‘So what was your ‘interview’ like?’ (p. 38)

Vaxy is also enjoying himself with Mike and Grace. With Grace it’s just casual sex, but Mike wants a more serious relationship. Vaxy must decide what his real feelings are between the young rabbit and the more mature fox.

Science Friction, which is FurPlanet’s Cupcake #3, contains a second, short backup story, “Armadillo Peccadillo”, featuring Grace the fennec and Wally the armadillo.

If you like old-fashioned movie romantic comedies, updated to modern college campus gay in-your-face hardcore sex, don’t miss Science Friction.