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But it Was Better Than Alien vs Predator: Requiem, Right?
Predators
Directed by Nimrod Antal
Written by Michael Finch and Alex Litvak
Starring Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace, Danny Trejo
Actually, it was.
Though Predators still felt like a “mixed bag” movie to me. It did some things right, a lot of things just okay, but thankfully, it never really went in the wrong direction at any point in time. And this is coming from a guy who was an Aliens and Predator fanatic when he was younger.
If anything, I should’ve been heavily critical after the debacle that was Alien vs Predator: Requiem. Now I’ll admit, I didn’t have my hopes up walking into the theater Saturday night, but I was still pleasantly surprised and left feeling satisfied after I watched this movie.
First off, thank you, Robert Rodriguez, for finally putting some solid, decent actors on screen when it comes to one of these movies. It isn’t the ’80s or the ’90s anymore, people. The Predators (Aliens, it doesn’t really matter at this point) can not carry these movies by themselves. They need a convincing human factor, which Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, and even that one dude from the upcoming Machete movie provide (come on, if Rodriquez produced it, you shouldn’t be surprised that one of his go to guys ends up being cast for a supporting role). This definitely helped the movie along, which means we weren’t sitting around for twenty minutes saying, “I wish the Predators would hurry up and get on screen already.”
Another thing that impressed me was the cinematography.
Wait—what?
Yes, cinematography. Bear with me on this one, because the movie was actually quite beautiful. The director did a fantastic job choosing the locations, and he was able to make our world look convincingly alien without much effort. I found myself many times just admiring the scenery while the plot developed and the human characters interacted. Now insert a nice “jump straight to the action” opening, some cool, fresh ideas that added to the Predator mythology (alien hunting dogs for the win), and a Predator versus Predator fight sequence all helped to make for a pleasant movie experience when I was expecting another train wreck.
But then there’s the plot. It didn’t add anything new, and most of the time, it felt like the first Predator movie just set on an alien planet. In fact, the whole movie sort of came across like a homage to the original film. There was a guy toting a mini gun, some obvious dialogue references, and even the “watch as each human gets picked off one by one” scenario which played out during the entire movie. Then there’s Topher Grace, who just did not work for this film. He was the odd ball of the group, and he never fit in convincingly with the rest of the cast. Add in the ho hum, set up for a possible sequel ending, and you have a movie that just never quite clicked on all cylinders.
Was I happy I saw it? Yes. Was it a great movie? No.
Predators was average, but it’s still something a fan of both the Aliens and the Predator movies should definitely go see. It was entertaining, and at least Twentieth Century Fox took the time (and the money) to finally get one of these storied franchises headed back in the right direction.
AD 021 - I Guard the Gate - Tonight's story mixes fantasy themes with Greek and Egyptian mythology. The world goes on while the Sphinx sleeps, but who will have survived to answer her riddle when she awakens? "I Guard the Gate" by Carmen K. Welsh Read b
Tonight's story mixes fantasy themes with Greek and Egyptian mythology. The world goes on while the Sphinx sleeps, but who will have survived to answer her riddle when she awakens?
"I Guard the Gate" by Carmen K. Welsh
Read by Chris Hvidsten of the Outcast novel podcast
Music cues by Infinity Squared
AD 021 - I Guard the Gate - Tonight's story mixes fantasy themes with Greek and Egyptian mythology. The world goes on while the Sphinx sleeps, but who will have survived to answer her riddle when she awakens? "I Guard the Gate" by Carmen K. Welsh Read by of the Music...
Artwork preservation FAQ
Snap E Tiger on local morning show
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Unsheathed #46 - Simile, metaphor, and the secret of great books.
FC-2 The Furry Sack Of Death - Another furry sack avoiding, e-mail reading, listener growing, still under-produced, furry hosted FurCast episode. As we cool down from last night's FNT craze, we read and relaxed to the flowing furry textured e-mail receivi
Another furry sack avoiding, e-mail reading, listener growing, still under-produced, furry hosted FurCast episode. As we cool down from last night’s FNT craze, we read and relaxed to the flowing furry textured e-mail receiving protocols that our viewers seemed to keep busy. After lists of deep furry induced discussions on topics that seemed to get more off of themselves than they did on, we decided to call it another successful night.
[See post to watch Flash video]
FC-2 The Furry Sack Of Death - Another furry sack avoiding, e-mail reading, listener growing, still under-produced, furry hosted FurCast episode. As we cool down from last night's FNT craze, we read and relaxed to the flowing furry textured e-mail receivi
Another furry sack avoiding, e-mail reading, listener growing, still under-produced, furry hosted FurCast episode. As we cool down from last night’s FNT craze, we read and relaxed to the flowing furry textured e-mail receiving protocols that our viewers seemed to keep busy. After lists of deep furry induced discussions on topics that seemed to get more off of themselves than they did on, we decided to call it another successful night.
[See post to watch Flash video]
FC-2 The Furry Sack Of Death - Another furry sack avoiding, e-mail reading, listener growing, still under-produced, furry hosted FurCast episode. As we cool down from last night's FNT craze, we read and relaxed to the flowing furry textured e-mail receivi
Another furry sack avoiding, e-mail reading, listener growing, still under-produced, furry hosted FurCast episode. As we cool down from last night’s FNT craze, we read and relaxed to the flowing furry textured e-mail receiving protocols that our viewers seemed to keep busy. After lists of deep furry induced discussions on topics that seemed to get more off of themselves than they did on, we decided to call it another successful night.
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[See post to watch Flash video]
Johnny Depp is Getting Weird Again
You might have come across the teaser trailer for the upcoming CGI film Rango, which features a giant wind-up fish floating serenely through the air across a desert landscape. Well now there’s a possibly even more weird trailer that at least tells us a little more about the film. For one thing it stars Johnny Depp as the voice of a nerdy chameleon named Rango who aspires to be a swashbuckling hero. When he finds himself stranded in a run-down desert village beset by bandits, he might just have to play the role to save the day. Interestingly, this is the first animated feature film produced by Industrial Light and Magic (of Lucasfilms fame), and it’s directed by none other than Gore Verbinksi, who directed Mr. Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean. This very odd (check out the trailer, trust us!) little film from Nickelodeon Movies and Paramount Pictures is set for release in March of 2011.
More Dragons and Hot Girls for Jay Baruchel
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Directed by: John Turtletaub
Written by: Lawrence Konner & Mark Rosenthal
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Teresa Palmer
Lovejoy
I’m really starting to like Jay Baruchel. He’s quickly becoming the new Michael Cera, and I think we can all agree that we need some more adorable geeks to dilute the overpowering force of George-Michael Bluth. And it’s Baruchel’s awkward charm that makes films like The Sorcerer’s Apprentice more enjoyable.
The film is a by the books adventure film that doesn’t break new ground on any front. Of course it’s also a mid-Summer, PG-rated Disney film starring Nicolas Cage, so expecting it to progress cinema is silly. It’s certainly more style than substance, but it’s fun, romantic, and exciting.
I’m not saying the film is great, because it isn’t, but as a casual Summer flick it’s pretty good. Baruchel as the Apprentice to Cage’s Sorcerer is funny and endearing. Alfred Molina is creepy. There are a ton of fun special effect sequences and fight scenes (even a dragon transformation for you weirdos).
I think for most people it could stand to be a rental, or a cable movie, but for something to watch while decompressing and escaping the Summer heat, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice isn’t bad.
Corvi
I’ll go on the record and say that The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is a better film than Predators, but honestly not by much. And that’s the whole problem. This should be a much better film that isn’t just a predictable string of pretty special effects and one-liners.
There is way too much shit going on in the movie. Too many villains, too many fight scenes, too many unnecessary scenes. The homage to the original Fantasia piece is jammed in there awkwardly, and it grinds the story to a halt.
Maybe montages are considered passe in this day and age, but there’s a time to use them, and trying to convince an audience that Jay Baruchel is learning enough magic to defeat and evil 1000-year-old sorcerer is that time.
If the film had been trimmed down (take out the witch girl and the car chase) there would have been more time to develop the romance so that it wouldn’t come off so lame. By the way, this is the second film this year where Baruchel has scored a girl that is way out of his league.
If you’re like me and find it hard to regress your mind to that of a child so you can enjoy Summer Disney films, then you’ll likely be bored by The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
Woyros Warren episode 104---Poolside with Woyro
PASSWORDS TO
WEBCAM SEX
Twilight Saga isn’t Creepy-Awesome Yet, Still Just Dumb
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
Directed by: David Slade
Written by: Melissa Rosenberg
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
It’s hard to believe that a movie about a teenage girl trying to bone half the cast of Universal Studios’ Monsters could be pretentious, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t try! From the first lines of Bella reading Robert Frost’s “Fire and Ice” to the numerous statements on morality, Eclipse manages to be preachy about a subject that is not an issue for 100% of the universe: fucking vampires.
The biggest problem with Eclipse as a film is, ironically, it’s faithfulness to the source material. Normally this would be a plus for a movie, but the fact is that Stephenie Meyer is an abysmal writer. Nobody in the town of Forks has cellphones since apparently both vampires and werewolves are telepathic, and that’s about half the population anyway.
Everything about this film is quite literally cocktease. There’s actually a “wait we can’t have sex yet” scene. And when all is said and done we’re at the exact same point as when the last movie ended. Bella chooses Edward, The Volturi are evil, and nobody actually seems happy about anything.
In the process of not doing much of anything, Bella gets to chatting with the other members of the Cullen family, and we get some backstories on the characters that were really just brooding scenery. Then we find out that Jackson Rathbone is a horrible actor and his character was so much better when he just stood around looking pained.
Can we all agree that Bella is a good for nothing bitch? What bothers me about these films more than anything else is how a dozen super beings go out of their way, risking their lives and going against their nature, to protect/win over some rabbit-toothed stutterer that has no personality whatsoever. I get that Edward was attracted to the fact that he couldn’t read her mind, but why didn’t he break it off when he found out that there is actually just nothing going on in that brain? And sure, Edward and Jacob want to marry her, but the families jump on board too? It’s a high school romance, and they already broke up once! Somebody sit these boys down and explain that infatuation is not love (or do vampires and werewolves not get infatuated? They just imprint on people, right?).
Now people are saying that Eclipse is the best of the Twilight films, and that is technically true. But to say it’s my favorite of the three is like getting to pick which medieval torture device will be used on me (it’s the iron maiden, for the record).
And honestly, the only reason this film stood out to me more than the others is because there are significantly more wolves in it. It’s a superficial and rather queer reason, but there it is.
Sonic Colors pre-order GameStop bonus is this Sonic hat
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Mikey at the Furry Convention PICS
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