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Dear Papabear,

My boyfriend and I get along very well, despite me being a furry and him not so. I want him to relate more to the furry fandom so we can feel closer (since we're a long distance relationship), but he doesn't want anything to do with furry social networks or art sites. I wanted him to join me on a good number of them, but he just wouldn't. Same goes for IMVU. I just can't get him to do anything like that with me. I don't know what to do about it without sounding like a baby.

-Michelle

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Dear Michelle,

First of all, consider yourself lucky that you have a nonfurry boyfriend who is okay with your being a furry. Not everyone is so understanding. He sounds like he has an open mind, which is a good quality to have.

You also knew going into this relationship that he was not a furry. So, you really should not be surprised that he is not interested in your furry activities. I understand that you want to share things with him to bring the two of you closer together, of course.

While you shouldn’t force your boyfriend to do things he doesn’t want to do, all relationships should take a little effort on both party’s sides. Good relationships combine a bit of sharing and compromise. Does your boyfriend have any interests that you don’t share? For instance, perhaps he is interested in sports—have you ever gone to a game with him? Or talked about teams or websites he enjoys?

Papabear is in a similar situation to yours (although it’s not long distance). My mate is not a furry, but he indulges me completely in my activities in the fandom and has come with me to several cons. However, he really isn’t active in the social network sites dedicated to furries.... Why? Because he’s not a furry and isn’t interested in that stuff, so I don’t make him do it.

Because you are in a long-distance relationship, I can see why you are trying to get him to participate in social sites online.  It would be better if you could do something together in the real world, like go to a furcon or furmeet, but let’s say that’s not an option. How about this for a compromise? You could meet on SecondLife—you in your furry form, and he as a human.  You could visit some of the furry areas of 2L and also some of the nonfurry areas that interest him.

So, in summary, the key here is compromise. Give and take. You should make an effort to share some of the things your boyfriend enjoys and he should do the same for you. But be careful. Don’t try to “remake” or “change” your boyfriend to your tastes. If you don’t like your boyfriend the way he is, then you should look for someone who does fit your idea of a model boyfriend. It is a mistake that many people make: “Oh, this guy (girl) is pretty nice, but has a few flaws I will work on to change.” Trying to change people is manipulative and unfair to your partner. Be happy that he loves YOU as you are and accepts your furry side. And learn to give as much as you ask for in return.

Good luck!

Papabear 

Dear Papabear,

I recently read the "Nightshade" trilogy, and when the book ended, I didn't know how to handle myself. When I got home from school, I couldn't help but to cry. I felt like I was part of the pack, I felt like that was my family. A person died I didn't want to die.

What do I do? How do I get over this? 

--Wolf Willful

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Dear Wolf Willful,

That is a high compliment to the author that the characters touched you so much.  How do you get over it?  You realize that the story is fiction, that these people are not real, and they are not really dead (or alive).  If you want them to live again, just start reading from the beginning of the first book.

I don't wish to negate your very real emotions, hon, but please get a hold of yourself. It can be very cathartic to experience the feelings an author puts on a page, but, in the end, you close the book's covers and return to reality.

Hugs,
Papabear  

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The husky is in fact IN!

Today I would like to discuss the roommate factor. Do you have one or more roommates living with you now or in the past? Were these roommates furry? There can be all different types of people to live with and not all perfect to be in close quarters of in a small apt. or house.

My issue myself currently is I live with 3 other furries in a small apt. (but good sized) across from NYC. I work 5 days a week at different times, the one main roommate works Mon.-Fri. until about 6pm and the other two do not work, they just sit around all day and play games. I’m not into starting drama or being mean so I could care less anyone’s life style UNTIL is clashes into my world. They are filthy and never clean up until it becomes to late to do so. The kitchen was scrubbed clean by me 3 days ago and today bam! it looks like we had a party of chiefs who all made food and left it. They don’t pick up and they don’t clean up in the bathroom after themselves. I am in NO WAY a perfectionist at cleaning, I myself keep things clean well enough to move around and have company over without being embarrassed. So when I say WOW they need to clean this shit up I really mean it, at least before we get mice and bugs again.

That’s my story and you know how I deal with it? I sit back and breathe and tell them time and time again, “please clean up you’re not the only one living here”.  Of course in my case if all goes to plan I will be moving out by July 1st so my situation solves itself but still to note I never loose my cool and keep the drama to a low.

Tell me your stories of roommate and let those inner feelings come out!

Look, we just can’t make up some of this stuff, folks.  Here, this is from Image Comics: “Still kicking yourself for not ordering and/or passing by Chew #1, now that you see what it’s going for on eBay? Here’s your chance to get sweet, sweet, revenge, with an all-new Chew #1, a one-shot spinning off Chew‘s most popular supporting character, and comics’ most beloved homicidal cybernetic kung-fu rooster. Concentrated mayhem. Feathers, rage and hate! Plus: an all-star pin-up gallery from some of the most staggeringly talented artists in the industry!” The main artist for the Chew: Secret Agent Poyo full-color one-shot is Rob Guillory, and the writing is by John Layman. And the chicken is coming our way July 11th. BleedingCool.com has a background article, including interviews with the creators, if you want to try and figure this thing out.

image c. 2012 Image Comics

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Author: E-Mail Hidden On this weeks episode of Furry Fuck Hole In Color: A Murry Purry Podcast For Sticky Furfags, Savrin Shiva and Fuzz get some more ooky spooky follow ups after we discuss a bunch of nerd stuff for nearly the first hour. We also get a couple questions and Savrin wants to go [...] KnotCast: Episode 178 – FFHIC-AMPPFSF

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Well it’s a male-ing list … I made pun YAY! Here is the deal from Rukis team they are doing their mailing list  once again called “Menagerie Year 2″ which gives you access to getting xxx pics sent to you from Rukis and myenia every week. It’s like playboy/girl coming to your mailbox, which is right up my alley. So head over HERE and check it!

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"The shooter was alarmed, though, to discover that it was in fact a
gentleman in a fox suit...."

- Inkan1969

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On this weeks episode of Furry Fuck Hole In Color: A Murry Purry Podcast For Sticky Furfags, Savrin Shiva and Fuzz get some more ooky spooky follow ups after we discuss a bunch of nerd stuff for nearly the first hour. We also get a couple questions and Savrin wants to go see the Marfa Lights. Use our coupon code 'knot' at AdamEve.com for a great deal~ Episode 178 - FFHIC-AMPPFSF